Steroids in MMA
Which MMA Fighter Will Test Positive For Steroids Next?

Caption Contest: Win a Duffel Bag Full of Gear From Tokyo Five!

(Images courtesy of

This Saturday at UFC 119, former UFC welterweight champion Matt Serra will step back into the Octagon against old buddy Chris Lytle, who he defeated back in 2006 to win TUF 4‘s welterweight trophy. Serra is coming off his first-round KO of Frank Trigg at UFC 109 and hopes to make it two in a row against The Bonus Collector, who most recently subbed out Matt Brown at UFC 116. To commemorate the occasion, our friends at Tokyo Five want to give one of you a Muteki duffel bag stuffed to the gills with T5 gear. (Check out Tokyo Five’s denim, tops, and athletics selection to get a better idea of what you stand to gain here.)

You know what this means. Glory for one, heartbreak for many — it’s caption contest time. Check out the photo after the jump, and post a clever caption in the comments section below by Thursday at midnight ET. We’ll pick out our favorite and post it on Friday. First place gets the haul from Tokyo Five, runners-up will get CagePotato t-shirts. Simple as that. Now go take what’s yours…

(Props: F&F)

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americanninja319- September 24, 2010 at 1:47 pm
Tokyo Five Foot Tall
Kimbos Bread- September 24, 2010 at 12:31 pm
Host: "Mr. Sonnon.."

Chael: "Sonnen."

Host: "...Sonnen, the results of your test have just come in..."

Chael: "...."

Host: "The results were positive."

Chael: "..."

Host: "Your DNA matched. You are the father of this broad's baby."

Audience: *gasps* (an elderly woman faints in the front row)

Chael: "............"

Host: "Chael...there's have also tested positive for P.E.D's."

Audience: (silence)

Chael: "......"

Host: "There's more..."

Chael: "...what? my Mexican double is backstage??"

Host: ".... No. You also tested positive for testicular cancer! It has spread all over your head."

Audience: *gasps* (an elderly man faints in the front row)

Chael: "..."

Host: "Your MMA career is probably over...I'm so sorry"

Chael: "..." (eyes water + lower jaw shakes)

Host: "Chael, I have some good news"

Chael: ".....?"

Host: "I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to GEICO."

Audience: (applauds)

LordCoSaX- September 23, 2010 at 5:27 pm
Well listen, let me tell you something. If you vote for me, I guarantee on my father's grave that no athlete will ever get the chance to use PEDs again and that the culprits will be brought to justice, and you can quote me on that. Im looking at you Carwin, and you, Overeem. No one is above the law, is that clear enough for you guys?
CusCus2121- September 23, 2010 at 2:11 pm
I'll have a Venti Iced Mocha, an almond biscotti, 300mg of Androstenedione and 8.4oz of Clearasil acne fighting body wash.
CusCus2121- September 23, 2010 at 2:10 pm
I'll have a Venti Iced Mocha, an almond biscotti, 300mg of Androstenedione and 8.40z of Clearasil acne fighting body wash.
Meaot- September 23, 2010 at 1:19 pm
"Mr. Sonnen, what do you have to say for yourself as a rolemodel to all the young Republicans out there in light of your recent PED positive test results?"

"I jus' espect Jesus bro, everyday, you know?"

CanYouDiggIt- September 23, 2010 at 12:53 pm
It seemed as though only Chael Sonnen could see the YouTube streaming symbol hovering around his fellow republicans over at F&F. As he stared into it, he left reality and consciousness for a world of fear as the symbol mocked him for his humiliating loss against Anderson. Teasing and laughing at him and then openly stating it had spiked his urine with PEDs. This symbol was pure evil, the symbol that caused endless frustration to any who wanted to view a video only to have it freeze and be mocked by the infinitely looping gray balls. Sonnen who avoided using the internet for anything but twitter was finally froze by the thing that has frozen the world of so many others...........
No Flegra Por- September 23, 2010 at 12:11 pm
Suddenly, Sonnen realized that this was not an interview for the next "Bangbus" video
TheFlipmo- September 23, 2010 at 11:24 am
no, i never did an interview with fox and friends
ate-ic-ite-ous- September 22, 2010 at 9:02 pm
Guy in red tie: God fucking dammit Chael. The GOP sent your ass to the UFC to try to promote us not bring bad attention to us like Palin or O'Donnell .

Guy in yellow tie: Maybe we should have sent George Bush, the mma fighter, sir?

Lady: Yeah that's right?

Guy in red tie: Shut up, can't you GOP women get it, the only reason you are here is to look good not state your opinion. Damn women's suffrage. I tell you what Chael, If you can come choke this bitch I will forgive you.

Chael: I think you are confusing me for Don Frye.

Guy in red tie: Oh, that's right, god bless him and that mustache.
J_Spice- September 22, 2010 at 6:20 pm
"oh wow i just woke up from a terrible nightmare! I was moments away from winning the title and then Anderson....... wait a second"
J_Spice- September 22, 2010 at 6:18 pm
Chael "Well i'm sorry guys i thought the invite said business casual, i mean come on look at that bitch dressed like a big hipped barney"


Chale "Look i dont know what that girl in the purple dress is telling you but my testicles are normal size thank you very much"
steampunk22- September 22, 2010 at 5:16 pm
Argh! Dammit you dirty gear whores! I was in class ALL DAY and now I finally get home to post and there is 397 freakin' posts?!!!?!?!?

Alright, I'll give it my best shot. Come on allergy medication, time to shine....

1. In a brief and awful moment of unexpected self-realization, and much to the shock of the newsroom, Chael Sonnen accidentally tastes one of his own opinions.

2. Having bested the news crew all night with his superior "off the cuff" verbal striking, Sonnen chokes in the dying seconds of the interview.

3. When asked to give a statement on his testing positive for PED's, Chael Sonnen opts to give the news team the ol' "Helen Keller" routine.

4. For the first time captured on film, and rarely seen in its natural habitat, the male homo sapien "Sonnenicus Deceiticus Maximus" spontaneously develops a conscience.

steampunk22- September 22, 2010 at 5:13 pm
Terrified, Sonnen realizes that Zuzu's petals are no longer in his front pocket.

The exact moment when Chael Sonnen realizes that not only will M. Night Shayamalan never make another good movie, but that Bruce Willis was in fact dead the whole time.
dogpt3- September 22, 2010 at 2:51 pm
"I didn't take steroids, its because Belfort has Jesus on his side. I mean did you read the bible? It was hard to read... I didn’t read the whole thing, but I tried. I read the beginning and I read the end. I was having plenty of conversations during it, I’m in the same boat as the rest of the world. Who cares? Nobody cares about Jesus"
Yetmoong- September 22, 2010 at 2:31 pm
Chael- "Okay, yes it's true. I did use performance enhancing drugs....but, I did so to beat a black guy."

Fox and Friends- "Fair enough! Next on Fox and Friends, why we feel Dana White hates his own race."
Uronurback- September 22, 2010 at 2:26 pm
PANEL: Chael, can you tell us about your alleged use of performance enhancing drugs.

CHAEL: Performance enhancing "Drugs" ?!? Look, I don't do Drugs! Drugs are for street thugs and criminals. I'm not here to use "Drugs", If I want to enhance my performance then I'll do it in the gym with hard work and determination! (mumbles) maybe a few "supplements".
jpayne- September 22, 2010 at 1:23 pm
Fox News: We are here live with Chael Sonnen who was running for State Representative in Oregon's House District 37.
News anchor: Is he peeing in a cup,...why is he peeing in a cup. Chael: I just want to prove it to everybody.
News anchor: Ahh... Chael, we were just asking you about the Oregon Legislative Assembly.
Chael : Oh!
CageCrusade- September 22, 2010 at 1:00 pm
Listen, I don't know who this 'Chael Sonnen' guy is but he sounds like a punk. Tell him his Hispanic friend Chaelus Sonneiro is looking to stomp a mud-hole in his juiced up, American ass.
x21b- September 22, 2010 at 12:58 pm
"Look, some people consider Lance Armstong one of the best athletes on the planet Earth. I was basically trying to prove a point. Since roids got the best of Lance and gave him cancer, I did it to prove I wouldn’t. Thus making me, THE best. Period. So I don’t offer any apology, I’m never gonna change. I’m gonna go after number one, whoever it is."
foojitsu- September 22, 2010 at 12:50 pm
Look, guys, it's like I was telling my friend Alistair a few weeks back. We were sitting around enjoying a delicious bowl of stew that he was kind enough to prepare and discussing this very issue. Real men, especially Republicans, have high levels of testosterone. That's just how we're made. If it's estrogen you're after go get that pussy Lesnar's piss.
Bob Loblah- September 22, 2010 at 12:34 pm
Thit I thoulda toot outh my moufpieth.
pinkyslayer- September 22, 2010 at 12:34 pm
After insulting nearly every other group of people on the planet, Sonnen finally, on live TV, makes the black joke that buries his career for good.
silly goose- September 22, 2010 at 12:06 pm
chael: and so the best way to escape a triangle is to stick your neck aaaaall the way in. I demonstrated how to do this perfectly against forrest, babalu, maia and anderson...
Barc- September 22, 2010 at 11:54 am
Everything. OK! I'll talk! In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog... When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out... But the worst thing I ever done - I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa - and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.