No matter how hard she tried, Alice could not convince her mother that Urijah was not in the Twilight movies or an Olympic snowboarder…

Guy in the background: “Which one do you want? I’ll take the freaky chick wearing the hat.”

“god damn I hope I’m not the father”

It’s a tit bit nippley outside. We breast be getting inside where it’s a little bit hooter.

One More……

Weeks After Uriajh’s new sponsership deal with TIDE, he is seen sporting the new “Stain Removal Sticks”

Your especially going to like it when I dot the “i” and the “j” in my first name

**AMP** “Before every Moment….there is a Moment” Mine was just in my pants

Due to an unusual stipulation during contract negotiations, Urijah Faber’s manager insisted that Faber would only sign WEC contracts that were printed on boobs.

Is it cool if I just write “+1″ under where Mike Brown wrote “Former P4P top 10″?

I hope Mike Brown’s not too pissed when he finds out I stole his girl like he stole my belt!

“let me see what’s bigger, your bust or my ass chin?”

Ever the gentleman, Urijah jumps to a young lady’s rescue with a limited-edition Tide pen before the fondue stain can set.

That lady over his shoulder, two minutes later — “Just put it right there, between the Jovi tat and the c-section scar, you gorgeous boy. [drawn-out wink]“

“hee hee hee hee…boobies”

Oh you must be Jay Leno’s boy.! write down your number and well set a play date up with jenny over there.

Fan favourite Urijah Faber helpfully points out some of the key areas to cover up if you ever run into Mike Whitehead or Rampage Jackson…

“Here, let me write you a note for your all access pass.”

hmmm….if i draw a line here, and one there…..you too can have your very own faber chin!

Urijah: Do you know that it takes more than 12 Balinese with weapons to kill the California Kid?
Girl: yeah yeah… just be sure to get the nipple too.

Pin the tail on the Honkey…

Guys in back: “dude didn’t I see that guy on ‘Little people Big world’?”

“she always gets all attention! Marsha Marsha Marsha! I want Justin Bieber to sign my ity bitys”

“ok, after he pokes my aunt in the boob, I’m askin him to the 6th grade Sadie Hawkins dance

Shoulda done that to Aldo. Only way he’d have left a mark on him.

A young woman gets an unsuspecting Amp stamp.

Will the WEC finally tell Urijah to go to a smaller weight class.

Girl in blue: I hope he knows im signing his balls after this…

The balls on his face…

Ahhhh, Its so nice to see Lysol return to tell us who isnt funny…You are the Cecil Peoples of humor judges.

“I can’t believe this bitch thinks I’m Macaulay Culkin!”

“What’s U-R-I-J-A-H?, I thought you were Kirk Douglas’ kid…RAPE!!”

Now that UriJah’s MMA career is over, He’s begun working on his other passion in life, plastic surgery, seems he’s found his first patient and is already begining the examination.

Guys in back: dude didn’t I see that guy on “Little people, Big world” ?

she always gets all attention! Marsha Marsha Marsha! I want Justin Bieber to sign my ity bitys!

“My knee is bigger than this”

.

Screw that. I just want to know when the Tito Ortiz team punishment wife beater is coming out in my size.

While Urijah was busy signing autographs, Aldo stayed busy kicking down trees.

“Can I sign your boobs for the camera so I can post it online and pretend I’m still badass?”

Girl in the back – “Noooo that’s my dress, I just let her borrow it for the night!”

All smiles during the day, Faber still wakes up in a cold sweat at the thought of leg kicks.

Faber begins his dissertation on the effect of boobs on earthquakes

“No, she’s not a whore yet, but you can sign mine.”

After leaving the party, she explained to her daughter that AMP stood for “Another mammogram professional”

Everyone has at least one “fatty” on their list…

“You just stand over there, mommy’s gonna let Dr. Faber take my temperature with the new thermal scanning thermometer”

Urijah demonstrates to the person on his right how to giggle like a little girl.

“I hope these boobs aren’t fake, i’d hate to break my ha…FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU”

As Urijah signed away he chuckled thinking to himself; “Boobies. . . “

Even years later, Urijah could never bring himself to tell his kids the story of how he met their mother.

Obviously Urijah can’t score a knockout, so he’ll have to settle for this.

Why is that strange lady touching my mom’s breasts?

Immediately after the photo, Faber found reason to regret those late night cyber chat sessions as “DaCaliforniaKid79″

img695 (dot) imageshack.us/img695/5679/faberthepredator.jpg

“Nice to see you…why don’t you have a seat over there.”

Quick show me two things that don’t know when to give up.

Yeah, so you’re boob is my knee, watch. The doctors had to map out the cut, just like this…

Who actually thought that multiple pages worth of boob jokes and Urijah sucks jokes would not actually be funny?

Joe Rogan was right. MMA fans always make a fist when posing for pictures with their favorite fighters.

Breaking News “This just in Urijah Faber has just signed a sponsorship deal with longtime world leader in weight loss Jenny Craig” When asked Urijah Faber vowed to use the program to make a move to 135lb.

Urijah: “You know, I have a chin just like this one!”

Bob Ross is a black belt, triangle choke a fool. Didn’t you see that David Mamet flick?

Hand-carved Russian Nesting Craption #5

“Little Girl: “…I bet a picture of this moment would make some great material for an awesome on-line photo caption contest! Mine would read: “horrified little girl watches Urijah Faber spontaneously make up a useless and incomprehensible caption for an on-line contest on her mother’s boobs!”…” “

@Mr Misanthropy

I’m just glad someone knew what the Hell I was rambling about in the style of Bob Ross.

“are you sure you’re Clay Guida’s little brother?”

Ever since the release of the Faberkini, for some reasons the lesbians will do anything to get close to Faber’s chin.

This girl’s boobs are like Urijah’s losses to Mike brown, there is two of them and there are helpless bystanders realizing what they have to look forward to.

Misplaced Craption #1.0 (a)

“Cris MacRae demonstrates “blue steel”, a sensual but serious look he developed for JC Penny, one of his larger contracts during his previous career as an ill-fitting polyester-suit model.”

One second you are the champion of the world and in the blink of an eye you are in the back of a squad car…pedophilia takes another victim…Rest in peace Faber….Rest in peace.

Crap-Shun #4- (auxiliary craption to replace any broken, damaged, or ineffectual craptions)

“C’mon Mom! I know he’s not my daddy, that’s what you tried to say about the last ten guys you let sign your boobs in public. You’re just drunk again! You always lie to me when you’re drunk! Don’t come around in the morning, crying and looking for sympathy, when you wake up alone and hung-over like you always do!”

“And over here we will put a little happy rock, right next to the happy stream, on the side of this happy mountain…”

*EDIT* I knew I should have read all these shits first. I knew one of you fuckers was gonna Bob Ross me, I fucking knew it. Bob Rossed again!

I don’t know whats bigger, the mounds on her chest or the one’s on Urijah’s chin

I think I should get a shirt regardless because I already own like six Ranger Up t-shirts and the girls love them because of my hotness/badassness and what the shirt says…great conversation starter. Plus I read rhinoden all the time.

CRAPtion #3-

“Altruistic humanitarian Urijah Faber lines the hos up ten deep while signing boob autographs for a fund-raising event benefiting the South Sacramento Battered Women’s Shelter.”

Tits, or GTFO.

CAPtion #2-

“Its Christine, jackass. C-H-R-I-S-T-I-N-E. Don’t make me fucking hit you again, and wipe that stupid smirk off your face.”

“We’re keeping it PG-13 for the kid. Urijah, do you mind putting some underwear on your ass-chin?”

“Tribute to my boy Cecil Peoples: leg kicks don’t win fights”

“Whats my name again?”

Urijah comes up short again- under that blouse she’s got Jose Aldo’s palm print tattooed on her breast.

Little girl in the background: “…Mom?!”

I got this invisible ink pen at the same store that sold me my invisible leg kick defence…..

Let’s just hope this doesn’t leave the same nasty purple stain my defence did.

Urijah graciously shows a little girl in a green shirt what she’ll get if she starts drinking Amp.

She wanted to fist pose. He wanted to write boob prose. It was beautiful, until Jose Aldo made them both his hos.

“Are you suuuuurreee doin this won’t make me become tito’s cell mate?”

Cocked and Ready: Donning a wig, Mike Brown readies for his third unorthodoxed defeat of Urijah.

will you tell me how I can make some quick cash so I can buy a ticket to the fights tomorrow?

yes I can, It’s with these thing right here

As a loser you only sign the cotton. Not the flesh pillow.

Days after the Aldo fight, Faber reflected that it wasn’t the best idea to write his game plan down on some girl’s boob.

Do me a Faber, sign these Knockers.

“See little Suzy, you can tell that mean boy at the park that as long as you have a set of these, you can get all of those that you want.”

“I said Mind His Jits, not Sign My Tits.”

“Pay attention Urijah, I’m trying to show you how to check a leg kick”

Wow. I just spent 20 minutes trying to come up with a witty caption for the picture of Kris McCray wearing the Ranger Up t-shirt… FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!

As the rest of california came to watch, Urijah gave his sister the autograph she always asked for.

Shortly after this photo was taken Faber Tweeted a picture of yet another swollen body part…

“I am guessing a girl like you, with these assets under management, has an opinion on the Goldman Sachs hearings.”

immediately after this photo was taken Chris Hansen appeared from the bushes and said Mr. Faber please have a seat over here

Not sure which is more pronounced: the boob or the chin-balls.

first kobe…now urijah

“you know, this is how my leg felt after fighting Aldo…and it hurt especially here”

Urijah Faber signs breast area of unattractive female.

Here’s the winning caption:

“I’m not going to give you a caption because you don’t send me the prizes after I win. I won the Unrivaled DVD contest months ago, sent you 3 e-mail requests and never received it. If you want people to participate, it would help if you would respond to e-mails and send out prizes.”

Using state-of-the-art technology, scientists have been able to capture the exact moment where innocence is lost forever.

Urijah reliving the good ol’ days when he and his frat brothers would circle the area’s where the pledge is carrying a few extra lbs

Black Shirt Guy – “I remember the day when all I wanted to do was sign women’s breasts…”
Grey Shirt Guy – “Yeah, now we just watch guys do it…we suck.”

For now she can only stare longingly, but some day she’ll have tits just like those and Urijah will sign hers too!

After losing 3 of his last 5 fights, Faber will take anything he can get.

and now…

A win is a win, no matter how small the opponent!…bazingo!

Urijah reliving the days when he and his frat brothers would circle the area’s where the pledge is carrying a few extra lbs

Little Susy then experienced the most peculiar feeling. Her mouth lay agape and her consciousness fled from her bones. She was weightless, like a whiff of vapor hovering over an arid mesa. What she was witnessing was not a display of crude fandom, but instead, it was a glimpse into young masculinity. She flinched, but only for a moment to absorb the now illusive fact that she was indeed real. And then BOOM – a flash of light took her to yet another universe, one more familiar but infinitely more alien in it’s meaning. Susy found herself in a small living room. In front of her, unaware of her ghostly presence, sat two boys, no more than age 12. “Urijah,” one of the boys said, “what is your greatest wish?”. The young Urijah only had to pause for a split-second, and what came out of his mouth collapsed Susy’s space-time adventure, and returned her to normalcy, to her own time….”Frankie, I want women to ask me to sign their breasts…”.

Rather than move up several weight classes to fight a bigger opponent with better hair, Faber signs his surrender

“They said it’s alright if I put ‘WEC’ on your shirt”

such a classy show of respect by Urijah Faber, signing his last will and testament before facing Aldo

Lost in loving moment with his Cousin, Uriah did not see the brutal overhand right that she used to shatter his butt chin and end his fighting career.

” Ok, here’s the ‘X’ .. remind me this is where i’m going to cum at “

“i’m only 16..” Says Girl

“Well, on top of the shirt should keep my golden boy image clean!”

“I can’t wait to go home and show this to my boyfriend, Jose.”

Uriah, I said your butt chin has a zit, not sign my tit.

Girl In Green: MOM !!! I’m soooooo embarrassed
Urijah: Got me a M.I.L.F. I’m in!!!!!
M.I.L.F.: DAM those he has small hands. I better check his feet. DAAMMMM…. they’re small too………

Girl In Green: MOM !!! I’m soooooo embarrassed
Urijah: Got me a M.I.L.F. I’m in!!!!!
M.I.L.F.: DAM those he has small hands. I better check his feet. DAAMMMM…. there small too………

“You sign my boobs, and I’ll sign that butt in your chin!”

Uriah: Seriously.. you want me to sign your boob…. with your shirt on!! WTF.

Yummy

The little girl is a little shocked, she never knew Uriah ALWAYS signed nipples with an “X”.

Urjiah: No no…keep the shirt on…I’m pretty sure I’m already going to get in trouble for the placement of this autograph.

Girl in green shirt: OMG Jenny! Everyone is going to die when they see you got your boob area signed by the guy from the No Fear commercials!

Girl in blue shirt: If I hadn’t stuffed my trainer full of tissue paper..and these were real…I would have totally let him sign right on the skin!

Hahahaha! PurplePickle with a nice late addition!!!

Little susie watches from a distance, wondering when her day of debauchery will come, while from a further distance, her grandmother wonders if there are enough buns for all the hot dogs on the grill.

NBC Dateline’s Chris Hansen says “Mr Faber please take a seat over here” In the most recent episode of To Catch A Predator

For the record, I think the picture that the caption links to would have been better

Roethlisberger looks a whole lot taller on TV.

Urijah helps launch a new era in Sacramento graphic design: the Bra Tablet. As evidenced by the crowd’s tepid reaction, and lack of computer or monitor connection, the ‘Brablet’ will have some hurdles to jump.

Mrs.Smith was 1st in line at the Sacramento elementary school career day to receive an autograph from The California Kid

@Ratel

LOL thanks man. Its tough to come up with good ones once there is already 50+ posts, a lot of the obvious angles are taken. Playing the odds in a way I guess! yours made me laugh actually.

I’ll vote for you if you vote for me!

urijah meets the wildest mormon to escape Utah

Faber obliges a lucky fan who wants her breast autographed. Not shown in the photo, the 3 phone books Urijah used to reach his target.

“We will start the keyhole incision here…”

Did someone destroy your thigh with leg kicks, or are you just happy to be signin my boobs?

Faber “I will start here drawing the map to a man heart, and it will end down there”

Look at that young girl…innocent..her beautiful flowing hair….why is she signing that chubby girl in the blue shirt’s boob?

Urjiah’s mind: He he… Boobies…

Oh, that’s a nice blue sky….You know what a nice blue sky needs? A happy little cloud….I’ll just draw one right here…and he looks like he needs a friend…Here we are, another happy little cloud to be friends with….Nothing wrong with having a cloud as a friend.

And who else needs a couple of rascally clouds as friends?…that’s right the Virgin Mary…there we are a fun free Virgin Mary, frollicking in the blue sky with her friends the clouds…oops! Smudged her face a liitle bit, but that’s okay…I’ll just make it a skull…there we go….happy little skull-face on the Mother of God never upset anyone….

And you know me, I gotta put in some dragons….little dragon over there….flying over a lake of fire…that would not be a nice place to fish, I can tell you that. I like fishing, but I’m not a good fisherman, and this looks like it would burn….maybe if we put some chains all over the place…just go nuts…chains everywhere….chains, chains, chains….and whoops! We’re out of time. I can’t go over 30 minutes, because we have a mean ol’ director with no sense of humor….so we’ll see you next week on The Joy of Boob Painting.

After failing to successfully sign the blue shirt, the WEC allows Faber to sign the green shirt then gets another shot at the blue shirt. They did this last year with some chick in a brown shirt.

What Urijah didn’t realize was that he was signing a binding legal agreement whose terms were written on the back of the shirt: “weekly shopping sprees”, “foot rubs 4ever”, and “must refer to me as Lil Miss Awesome-Sauce (LOLZ!)”.

(Girl in Green) “God, she’s hot! Why are my pants getting all wet, but I don’t have to pee?”

“Uh, Uriah? You know that’s a man, right? His name is Joseph. He’s my brother.”

“Damn, there ain’t no better way to celebrate after you lose!”

In a drunken state, Melissa Joan Hart was convinced by Urijah Faber to let him sign her tits because he deos UFC.

As Sarah watched her older sister, on the only thing running through her mind was, “You just wait Sandy. I’m drinking milk. And one I’ll have declining athletes signing my fake boobs for a chance at a free dinner and possible rape charge later that night in the bathroom of a strip club! Then you’ll know Daddy was right. MINE is the tightest! And I kiss it the best!”

“Mmm, your shirt brings out the color in my leg”

AMP finally found out why Urijah wanted his signature shirt to be long enough to cover Joseph Benavediz’s torso when they stood on each other’s shoulders

After being asked by Zuffa to reach out to new fan bases to maximize potential profits for the WEC’s first pay per view, Urijah journeyed to the heart of Pennsylvania for an improptu autograph session. However, after signing his 8th shirt covered boob and churning out 4 quarts of butter, he realized it was all for naught upon discovering the Amish didn’t even own a television.

mom can i be next?

Darrill Schoonover gets a sweet autograph from Urijah.

After seeing things between Urijah and his sister spot on, little Bobby, unsure about his sexual future still couldn’t decide wether to cut his hair and start training to become a mma superstar or if he’d go on with the hormone therapy and the green girly shirts.

Wow, Suzie Salmon’s big sis took a hell of a detour from the search party

Amateur! You’re supposed to hold the writing surface with your non-writing hand! Duh.

“Okay. You sign my bigger than normal boob and I’ll sign your bigger than normal thigh”

Team Alpha Male is a close knit family…a real close knit family.

Urijah finished the enitre autograph, despite breaking both his hands on the first letter

There’s no way that could be Fowlkes’ sister. Look how little hair she has on her forearms.

Hmmmm…her lack of a neck makes me think twice though….

Urijah stops by the set of War Machine’s newest movie “The Braidy Bunch” and signs some autographs for cast members.

Immediately after signing, Chris Hansen walked into the room and grilled Faber about his lewd conduct in a 13 year old girl’s presence.

urijah: so how old did you say you are?17??me too,thats 6 things we have in common!

“Wow, people in Bali are so friendly! What could possibly go wrong?”

@Ratel

That’s top 3 material right there.

When he told her that he had to take out his marker, after asking him to do put something on her boobs, she had hoped for a little bit more than a signature.

steampunk, that ben fowlkes’ sisters burn was golden. this contest should be over for that!

i better get to cop a feel of your boobies after i sign them or else im gonna beat u like tito on jenna, and your daughter ell get it to. calfornia kid out

Faber: What were gonna do here is take you from a flabby B cup and enhance what you already have to a nice firm C cup. We’ll go right in through the areola, you won’t even notice the scar.

Girl w/ low self esteeem: Urijah, are you a Dr. as well as a fighter?

Faber: No…but I did get my ass kicked next to a Holiday Inn Express last night.

when life gives you lemons, at least let them sign by someone famous

after i sign ure boobies i better get to cop a feel or else im gonna beat u like tito did jenna, and the little girl ell get it to. calfornia kid out

Please spell it “p-r-e-c-i-p-i-t-o-u-s d-e-c-l-i-n-e.”

[nominate]

Danomite “Urijah signed this autograph with two broken hands, a dislocated thumb, a busted knee, and a torn retina. What heart this kid has!”

Ratel “Before every moment, there’s a pedo-moment.”

[/nominate]

Young Katy stands in awe as her mother has captured yet another leprechaun that will now make his mark on her bosom as so many before him have done.

the young decoy looks on as chris hansen gives her the word to move in.

“and could you make it out to Ebay?”

Samantha was very disappointed to find out that she had let Urijah Faber sign her sweater cows and not Taylor Hanson, althoughy now adays they display the same fighting ability.

Proving once again that the WEC just isn’t on equal footing to the UFC, after giving Tito Ortiz top shelf porn star Jenna Jameson for a wife, Dana White granted Uriah Faber both of Ben Fowlke’s kid sisters.

“Heh, my chin looks like your camel toe”

Trick love da kids!

“Um, it looks like someone already signed your shirt in braile”

Ah, good to see these older girls taking the younger girls under their wing and teaching them how to properly behave like a skank.

And as for Kris McCRay, you can totally see that he just finished asking, “Does this shirt make me look gay?”

After going in and out of consciousness from the Jose Aldo Fight, The California Kid woke up the next morning thinking he was signing a new 10 fight contract with the WEC!

Sadly he was mistaken.

You were my favourite member of Hanson.

Before every moment, there’s a pedo-moment.

“I like my women like I like my pens: Short, thick, and a vivid shade of blue.”

A:utographing
M:ilk
P:roducers

“Hey Froddo!!!! If you don’t sign my breast it won’t be aldo’s low kick you’ll need to worry about. see this (she motions towards her clenched right fist) This won me the national trailer park bare-knuckle contest.

“Don’t worry little Sarah, one day you’ll have your very own California Kid… and if you’re anything like your skank big sister you’ll have plenty more than that”

Your tits and my leg have something in common

here is the number of my stylist, your hair will from ordinary to extraordinary when shes done working her magic

Hi Mr Faber. I’m your biggest fan. You’re so good I’ll even let you sign my wife’s tits in front of my kid. Just let me take a pic of it for proof to show all the guys.. Your gonna kick Aldo’s ass right?

the worlds ugliest t-shirt finally gets a job

I’ll sign your tit if you cornrow my hair.

In all seriousness, in the set from combat lifestyles, the second pic of that chick in the blue is awesome. You would think Uriah signed her clitoris.

1

“There you go son the left boob is yours and the right one belongs to your brother”
Little Girl: “But I thought I was the left Boob Mom!”

Girl- “That doesnt say Justin Bieber…WTF?”

“Well, it’s on there somewhere, honey. Next time, try black ink, maybe?”

“I’ll sign your shirt but stare at my chin again and Urijah’s gonna choke a bitch!”

Lil sis looks on as her Sister gets ready to bust out her nips

I have no problem signing my chin…..I mean your chest!

After the fight my leg is gonna look this ugly.

The WEC’s new Primetime show will feature Ex-champ Uriah Faber and his special guest from “To Catch a Predator”.

Maybe I should just keep beating up Jens and start getting some hot chicks again…

I know your going to get your knee kicked to shreds but please will you sign my boobie. it will make it all better I promise *wink*

Guy in black: Dude look at the ass on that one
Guy in grey: I hope you are talking about Urijah’s chin.

Urijah’s career slowly started to fade the day after he got drunk at a family reunion…

“Jose Aldo would have signed those boobies so fast you wouldn’t even be able to snap a picture. But they would still be wobbling back and forth a little bit.”

So you want me to start on the outside of the areola?

*silence between the 2 as she hands Uriah the marker*

Uriah writes -Its Not Mine!-

Girl in middle “Mom?????????”

” ‘Ey bro, bet ya’ 5 that her nipples start here! “

“Periods and Burger King, then I too will attract the Boob signers” wistful sigh, gazes longingly as Faber walks off into sunset

BTW Danomite and Ghostboner early favourites

“If a 6 year old girl has ever stopped you from signing a boobie… you’re not a man dog!!!”

“Urijah clearly is looking for help spelling his name and then he needs a small Thai man to carry him back to his ambalampse.”

@joe sons balls: When the MMA community can be composed of mostly intelligent, smart people. So never. I don’t even know why I bother reading comments from people I dont know. it gets me seriously angry and my heart rate up

Girl in the green: If only I had boobs like that, maybe Urijah would pay attention to me.

You sure are cute for a midget with lamb chop thighs ! Will you sign my face?

“Even while his leg is torn up, Faber still has the time to sign a frumpy woman’s wilted watermelon while her german shepherd watches from the backround.”

Girl in background wearing green: “A crushing deceit by my own Mother has resulted in Urijah Faber-treachery! No my love!”

Mike Goldberg: Look at this Joe, Urijah Faber has been effective with eighty percent of all boobographs, but is only successful forty-seven percent of the time signing the right boob.

Joe Rogan: He’s certainly going to have his work cut out for him, Mike.

when is someone going to make an mma shirt that doesnt look completely gay and retarded?

I only lift my shirt for UFC fighters, you can sign over the shirt WEC boy

Little girl’s eyes shift between Urijah and Mommy, “Damn, that guy’s chin is reflecting my mother’s bust. Intriguing.”

oops.

Despite breaking his hand while signing the left boob Faber fights through the pain to sign the right boob.

“Where is the nearest Whataburger? Here, let me cop a feel…er…draw you a map.”

Girl in Green: “Mom! I don’t think Daddy will like this!”
Lady in Blue: “It’s ok hun, you should see Daddy’s autograph from the ring girl.”

Joe Rogan : ” See what’s she is going to do next is lure him into her butterfly guard and then sweep for the mount. That is not a good place to be Mike!”

Sarah had heard about Urijah’s wacky sense of humor, so as his pen swung up to sign his autograph, one thought echoed in her head:

“Please don’t draw a nipple. Please don’t draw a nipple. Please don’t draw a nipple. Please don’t draw a nipple.”

Damn, ghostboner won this already.

Gunt patrol indeed. LOL.

Um sorry I have blurred vision right now, this is your hand right?

“You’re not fooling me, little boy! I know you were in that Hanson band! Now sign the beub!”

Urijah signed this autograph with two broken hands, a dislocated thumb, a busted knee, and a torn retina. What heart this kid has!

“I actually wanted an autograph from Master Thonglor….”

“You ready, Angie? Pay attention. So yeah, brah, the left lung has two lobes, but the right lung actually has three–the upper and lower, plus the middle lobe right about here, next to the mediastinum. That’s where the heart would be. God, i don’t know about you, but i just geek out about A&P. I wish your sister dug this as much as we do; she’s kinda harshing my mellow.”

“I saw what you did to the last fat girl, and if you write ‘GUNT PATROL’ on my boob I will punch you.”

“Sorry guys, they said dizziness was a side affect of fighting Aldo”

When these things sag, think of my career.

Little Alice in green reminisced about the days when Auntie Molly and Uncle Urijah used to pretend they didn’t know each other, just for laughs and a little family joke, instead of generating publicity for Uncle Urijah’s downward career slide.

hey you promise not to wash this?
well from one BOOB to another: your career is washed up.

“See honey, this is how you get a free steak dinner. After he’s done we call the cops and say he forced it on me”

“You do know that I lost the fight with Aldo right?”

“Mommy, what is that strange man writing on your boob?”

Urijah Faber’s decision to go back to the drawing board proves fruitful.

After losing to Jose Also, Urijah decided to go into plastic surgery

“We will start with the incision here…”

Urijah Faber decision to go back to the drawing board proves fruitful.

Brrreeaaast miiilllk. You make my daaaa yyaaa!

“DAMN NIGGA!”

entensity.net fans will get this one.

Good thing Urijah has small hand-writing.

“Uriah, can I please have an autograph on my shirt?”

“Sure!”

Due to a backstage wager between fighters, Uriah Faber has to sign all autographs “Jose Aldo’s Bitch”.

Sorry LeAnn Rimes.

Former champ signs former skinny girls former perky boobs.

i hope these aren’t fake. i don’t wanna break my hand again

“You are 18 right?”

“I used to be champ, I am old enough.”

Uspoken rules of MMA #37: When the former champ starts the down side of their career, chicks wear more clothes, the tits get smaller, and the women get bigger.

Angela could only watch and wait patiently for the day to come when she too would be old enough to drunkenly walk over to some guy she’s never met before and ask him to scribble his name on her boobs.