(The launch issues for the new U.S. and Canadian versions of Fighters Only, available on newsstands now.)
Heads up, Potato Nation. Fighters Only, the world’s longest-running MMA and lifestyle magazine, has finally invaded North America with new editions for the U.S. and Canada. Previously only available on import, subscriptions to the U.S. and Canadian versions of the magazine are now available, and we’re giving you lucky people the chance to win one. All you have to do is come up with a clever caption for the photo after the jump [updated, 10:13 a.m. ET: We had to switch the photo; sorry for wasting your brilliance], and post it in the comments section below. The best five captions will win subscriptions to the Fighters Only edition of their choice. Feel free to enter multiple times, but be sure to get in your captions by Monday night at midnight ET. Good luck!
(Fedor Emelianenko celebrates a recent Sambo win.)
Loading ...
Comments
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:13
Why is the referee involved in this celebration?
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:14
Fedor really IS a gift from heaven! - or - Fedor is so tough, he skydives without a parachute. Just needs people to catch him to protect the Earth from his landing.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:14
And then they all went out for ice cream.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:15
The villagers panic to bring him back down as Fedor proves he can also defeat gravity.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:16
This is the best Disney Land ride ever exclaimed Fedor.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:17
After the jump a Fedor up skirt...
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:18
This is just seconds before the first known case of a group of people dying from getting to close to awesomeness.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:19
No celebration for you guy in the background.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:19
Fedor's bar mitzvah is better late than never
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:20
It takes at least 10 guys to get Fedor off his feet!
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:20
Wait comrades my tummy feels funny from so much ice cream.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:20
Its a good thing Fedor waited until after the fight to pass gas.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:21
Who wears short shorts!! ...
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:21
I think this is what Dana White was really frowning about.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:21
HELP!!! KEEP THOSE CRAZY F***ING RUSSIANS AWAY FROM ME!!
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:22
Yayyy.....This is way more fun than the tea-cups!!! I love the U.S. AND A.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:23
Fedor, "Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!"
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:23
Not pictured:the family of the recently deceased huddled around the remains of their once proud father. The eldest son blankly stares at the celebration vowing to grow up and avenge his father. Dana White immediately signs the child to a three fight deal to screw with Tom Atencio.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:24
"You see, I am god......next up, I will walk on water like Jesus"
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:24
Fedor convinces his friends to help him get closer to God.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:25
Hepatitis Free! Hooray!
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:25
gentlemen, don't worry...is okay...I fly because God finally calling for me.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:25
Fedor bar mitzvah spooky scary boys becoming men, men all wearing robes
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:26
Seconds later Alexander would fall to his death after trying to emulate his brother one too many times
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:26
Sambo is sooo much more fun than demolishing old UFC Champs!!!!!!!!! Wiiiiiiiiiiii
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:26
i think i can see Mr. White's shiny head from here
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:27
What is worse than being under Fedor Emelianenko ? Being under Fedor Emelianenko with a group of extremely happing men !
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:27
As Jesus descends unto his people.... Today the Russians launched their new space program Lite as a feather,stiff as a board....the latest in MMA training methods
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:27
You know Aleks is jumping around off camera saying "Me next! Me next!"
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:27
3 cheers for Emelianenko! Hep hep hooray hep hep hooray hep .....oh sorry thats the other Emelianenko!
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:27
Tee Hee I love all these thumbs in my bum.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:27
It was at this exact moment that Fedor realized that they're only trying to look up his shorts.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:27
An ominous feeling swept over Fedor. He knew that most of the hands that had hurled him into the air had a thumb tightly held close to the palm, but he knew the old Russian adage "For everyone champion we throw in the air, there will be someone ready to put the thumb in the bum" was about to play true on the way down.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:28
"I am an angel of god. This is why I am unbeaten and untouchable......YOU HUMANOIDS NEED TO GET USED TO THIS!"
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:28
jeez, way to spell
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:28
Tired of the ongoing pound-for-pound debate, Fedor Emlianenko attempts to render the issue moot by achieving weightlessness.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:28
Holy crap DeathB4Tapout we posted something very similar at the exact same time.. What are the friggin odds....
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:29
it seemed like a good idea untill they realized fedor wears nothing under his robe
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:29
This is the Russian form of a Mosh Pit. If you listen closely you can hear some Pantera in the back ground.. Re, spect, walk. What do you say? Re, spect, walk. Are you talking to me?
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:29
Hahah Kadumel we have early morning ghey thoughts. :-)
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:30
Fedor says "gravity is for bitches"
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:31
After Fedor's cicumcision, the Russian Team celebrates because they now have enough meat to eat for a year.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:31
Hooray for the Human Chernobyl Project!!!!
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:31
They needed all those people to throw Fedor in the air, if Kevin Randleman was around he could have done it all by himself.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:31
People from around the world celebrate Fedor's slaying of the Main-iac's career.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:32
Gloves, $60... Sambo entry fee, $20... Knowing Dana White will NEVER own your soul, PRICELESS... For everything else there is WAMMA.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:32
@ Batman..... "After Fedor's cicumcision, the Russian Team celebrates because they now have enough meat to eat for a year." that is fucking hillarious!!!!!!!!!
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:33
"They're not holding him up, he's holding them down!" After winning his latest Sambo tournament, Fedor exhibits his dominance by submitting a large group of challengers.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:34
So this is what cheerleading contests look like in Russia.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:34
Fedor jumps off the ropes; kills 10!!
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:34
Look Dana White ! You have to pay top dollar and allow Sambo competitions on the side ! Its not like Fedor Emelianenkos just fall from the sky or something!
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:34
Then Fedor showed those men of will what will really was, and floated... ---------------------------------- Dana White-Kujan: Do you believe in him, Jerry? Jerry Millen: Aleksander always said, "I don't believe in God, but I'm afraid of him." Well I believe in God agent White-Kujan, and the only thing that scares me is Fedor.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:35
Fedor is like Chuck Norris.. He giggles at the face of danger
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:35
Not to be outdone, Criss Angel levitates Fedor on his show.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:36
With a childlike smile, Fedor is thrown up to meet the last remaining challenge.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:36
Emelianenko defeats Red Devil Sports Club via TKO (Leg Drop) at 3:29 of round 1
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:37
And the Lord said let there be Fedor. Hero to all and he will deliver over hand murder balls as his righteous fury. Dropped from gods hands crushing at least 8 people on the way down.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:37
"forget that, 'if someone is genuinely happy for my accomplishments, they should thank and praise Lord God, and not me' stuff...higher, higher"
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:37
Wouldn't all of the Sambo competitors benefit from letting him hit the floor in hopes of a career ending injury ? Just sayin !
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:37
Headline from the Moscow Times: Fedor's Sambo win, the resulting Kimura orgy and the lessons learned. "It was all fun and games until they dropped Fedor like a sack of Randelmans"
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:39
This is new commercial for Jack in The Box for their new burger called the Unstoppable ... yippee ka yay mini Fedor Burgers
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:42
Fedor returning from his glorious arm bar victory over God.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:42
After conquering mma, and Sambo, what is next for the baddest man on the planet ? Gravity !
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:43
The Russian team celebrates after discovering that Hepatitis doesn't run in the family.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:45
Fedor celebrates his revenge victory for his brother, after submitting Hepatitis.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:46
The entire team, laughs hysterically at the thought of Tim Sylvia.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:47
"I don't see what Eddie Bravo is talking about.""
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:48
Cover shot for Fedor's next magazine shoot: Taint Misbehavin
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:48
Praise be to almighty Fedor! You are the Guru, you are the best! Praise be to almighty Fedor!
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:49
Fedor needed help to reenact how high Arlovski got from his one punch KO, "he was dis high I swear"
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:50
Scientists recently discovered that the Russians aren't actually tossing Fedor up, Fedor is in fact holding them down.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:50
Sorry Aleksander, you are too tall for this ride.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:50
Fedor practices his Zombie evasion technique
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:51
As Fedor fell from the heavens everyone realized THE MEEK SHALL INHERIT THE EARTH after all
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:51
Sorry Aleksander, you aren't talented enough for this ride.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:51
Fedor returning to earth after punching the Man in the Moon with over hand right, finally a worthy opponent!! First one to grab both cheeks wins a prize!!! Fedor trying to escape to the Dr recommended colonoscopy!!! Just a freindly game of "put your thumb on the prostate"
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:52
"Light as a Fedor, stiff as a board."
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:52
After a brilliant win, Fedor decides to reenact his favirote scene from Mary Poppins much to the dismay of his teamates.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:52
Fedor: Ok.. I better at least crack a half Arsed smile.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:53
Fedor of Russia, returns to earth with a vistory over Jesus of Nazareth.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:53
"Fedor loves a good Man toss." or "Is this a sambo tourney or an Elton John concert" or "Looks like some window licker got first place at the special olympics"
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:55
Fedor accomplishes the impossible and makes Jesus tap, while his hands we're still nailed down.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:56
Fedor of Russia returns to earth, after accomplishing the impossible by making Jesus tap, while his hands we're still nailed down.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:56
After defeating all his opponents, jumpstarting the Russian sweater industry and beating Battletoads, Fedor's only worthy challenge is gravity. NYE 2009: Fedor Emeliananko vs. Sir Issac Newton
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:58
Hooray ! Taintberries for everyone !
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:58
Even though I can levitate, do not praise me, I am not an Idol, that is a sin, all praise to God. Also ... weeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:00
Fedor jumps the entire american flag football team for the touchdown!!!
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:02
Finally an answer to the age old riddle, "How many Russians does it take to change a light bulb?" Nine. One to change it and eight to throw him up there. Fedor makes a guest appearance on the "Chris Angel: Mindfreak" television series. Here cornermen help Fedor fulfills his obligations as a tampon spokesman by "trying on" the product.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:02
so this is what you do to make a cyborg smile...
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:02
The True Story of Fedor's Sambo loss: Unbeknownst to the celebrating crowd, referee Steve Mazzagatti still had not stopped the fight, resulting in disqualification. Asked afterward how a twitching corpse could intelligently defend himself, Steve replied, "Do not underestimate the force with which a corpse can twitch, I have seen James Thompson knocked out multiple times by twitchers. Secondly, with the amount of blood lost and being in Russia, there is always the possibility of Fedor contracting a blood born illness. If Fedor contracts hepatitis from this corpse, I would have to give the decision to the corpse."
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:04
Fedor: I said blow me bitches, not throw me bitches !
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:06
In mother Russia, sky go YOUdiving.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:07
Fighting one man at a time was no longer a challenge to Fedor, so he challenged every fighter in the tournament at once. if you look closely you can see the smile on fedor's face as he plots their destruction.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:08
Fedor: Yas. Aleksander Emelianenko left camp, we now parr-tee like 1922 to 1991. Oh lay..
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:08
I can see my house from here!! *An oldy but a goody.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:10
This photo was taken before the Sambo Tournament even began.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:10
The children at the birthday party rushed to claim the giant Fedor action figure as it came hurtling out of the "Sambo Pinata".
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:11
The same celebration was given to baby Fedor when he made straight A's on his report card.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:11
Crazy russians gather outside Zuffa head quaters to catch Fedor and his managment team after Dana white reads the contract they would like to get with UFC.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:12
Pictured: Day of Fedor's birth, descending immediately into his first sambo match.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:12
18 months later, the group that tossed him into the air said he felt "greasy"...
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:12
With the global economy in decline, the Russian space program attempts a new strategy for launching Cosmonaut Fedor into orbit.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:12
After his win, Fedor tries out for the Russian Olympic high jump squad.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:13
I'm going to be sore in the morning!
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:14
Fedor to himself: "Shit, I hope my whale tail isn't showing".
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:14
Everyone was happy til someone told Fedor that Nicoli forgot the ice cream. A mass funeral service will be held tomorrow at 2 pm.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:15
"This brings back good memories of my Randleman fight."
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:15
Picture above is the wedding party of Jaune claude van dame all rushing to catch fedor to see who will be next to kiss him and get blessed with new love in life
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:17
The Russians celebrated wildly as the pinata broke and out fell the prize of Fedor!
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:17
Light as a nail, stiff as a board.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:18
Holy Shit! Fedor can levitate now?! God help us all
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:19
Still untouchable
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:21
Light as a feather, stiff as a board, light as a feather.....
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:22
We've all heard that Fedor was untouchable but this is ridiculous.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:22
F you Issac Newton
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:23
Fedor as baby Jesus in a Russian Nativity scene.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:23
In Mother Russia, YOU are trampoline
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:25
Light as a feather, stiff as a board. Light as a feather, stiff as a board. Light as a feather, stiff as a board....
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:26
I would rather get a hands free oil check from Bob Sapp than read another issue of Fighters Only. Seriously, how can you push this garbage and live with yourself?
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:26
Red jacket: Psst. Hey if we just let him fall then maybe we'll have a chance to win this fucking thing. Referee: Are you kidding, the floor will open up and swallow us whole. Even floors know Fedor.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:29
Cris Angel ain't got shit on Fedor. Fedor cannot be stopped by anything...including gravity! Dana and Fedor will never come to terms because of Fedor's love of Sambo and Amateur Cheerleading.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:31
After selling off their nuclear stockpile Russia was forced to launch their next deadliest weapon.....
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:32
The next person to touch my ass get an armbar!!!!
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:34
we gonna rape you!
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:36
He smiles on the way up...but i promise you on the next toss up his face wont look the same.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:36
The World's Most Dangerous Thanksgiving Float
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:38
"Is even better then scary U.S. roller coaster."
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:38
"i want his shirt", "I want his pants", I got the cup!!!!!!",I got chocolate on my thumb! mmmm"
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:39
And just like that boom.. Fedor called home and Scotty beamed him up.. weird.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:41
I will not submit a caption. Batman wins all 5 subscriptions.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:45
wait guys i thought we where playing duck duck goose
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:48
The Russian Thanksgiving Day parade is not nearly as fun as the American version.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:49
@ Batman Damn u Batman!
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:51
Also a electrician by trade, Fedor returns from fixing a spot light after his recent Sambo loss.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:51
Since Fedor is an emotionaless robot, this is the only way he can know what "Happiness" feels like.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:52
Fedor files a formal complaint with commission stating the referee felt greasy.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:57
"With the growing danger of space debris to the international space station, Russian mission control decide to launch Fedor into orbit to ground potential drifting threats."
Thu, 03/19/09 - 09:03
seriously someone block cool tool's IP from posting...
Thu, 03/19/09 - 09:04
"I love to laugh, ha ha ha ha..."
Thu, 03/19/09 - 09:06
In soviet Russia, Sambo plays you! Or..... In soviet Russia, people worship you!
Thu, 03/19/09 - 09:07
"When will these guys figure out that I am fedor? I will come down when I am good and ready."
Thu, 03/19/09 - 09:07
"Finally, Jerry Millen's lips are off of my ass"
Thu, 03/19/09 - 09:09
In the name of the Fedor, Son, and Holy Spirit...Amen.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 09:13
"Now knock me out" Fedor showing what his last opponent looked like
Thu, 03/19/09 - 09:14
The only way to defeat Fedor currently known to man, the ten man suplex.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 09:19
"This is a trust exercise Fedor. Just close your eyes and fall backwards. We are here for you. TRUST us.." this is the reason Fedor is so connected with himself and always has that calm, blank expression on his face. Who knew those corny exercises you did at summer camp when you were going through puberty would eventually help make you the baddest man on the planet..
Thu, 03/19/09 - 09:20
Where can I get MY OWN Tickle Me Fedor?
Thu, 03/19/09 - 09:26
Slap hands! Slap hands!
Thu, 03/19/09 - 09:27
I like turtles.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 09:27
Only after he survives Russia's infamous ass-tickling torture will Fedor truly be the worlds best.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 09:27
american rollercoaster much better than this.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 09:30
Burn the witch!!
Thu, 03/19/09 - 09:31
Sinners
Thu, 03/19/09 - 09:31
David lands and over hand right... AND down goes Goliath, DOWN GOES GOLIATH!!!!! IT's ALL OVER!!!
Thu, 03/19/09 - 09:32
To boost TV ratings on Thanksgiving in Poland, the villagers unveiled their coveted Fedor float.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 09:32
In Mother Russia, you no throw fight..fight throws you.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 09:36
While being more of a burden than a blessing, this Russian angel descends upon us to cleanse the world of all glass-chinned demons. And vanilla ice cream.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 09:36
It's a bird, it's a place, no it's Superman! Seriously, it's Superman.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 09:37
Sorry for the double-post. Correction: It's a bird, it's a plane, no it's Superman! Seriously, it's Superman.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 09:37
I make Arlovski do this in ring, hows taste my pee pee now.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 09:38
"ice cream on me guys :)"
Thu, 03/19/09 - 09:39
I make Arlovski do this in ring, hows my pee pee taste.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 09:39
Stop it guys!!!!!!!!!!! im affraid of heights!!!!!!!!
Thu, 03/19/09 - 09:39
PS I'll take the shirt instead of the mag subscription, I can't read. OK, it's not that I can't, but more I don't wanna read that.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 09:42
why would fedor gear up for the iron maiden concert?
Thu, 03/19/09 - 09:43
Fedor showing his fans how to fly after his sambo win
Thu, 03/19/09 - 09:45
? Believe it or not, I'm walking on air. I never thought I could feel so free-. ? ? With two ice cream cones and a really gay sweater. Who could it be? Believe it or not it's just me. ?
Thu, 03/19/09 - 09:45
This is how all undefeatable Russians get high...
Thu, 03/19/09 - 09:47
It's not a celebration of sambo... It's a celebration of FEDOR!
Thu, 03/19/09 - 09:48
Someone needs to have an ole sit 'n talk with Fedor: Groupies should have bigger boobs, longer hair, and less man parts. Maybe an image change is in order.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 09:55
"if god wants me to fall then it will happen and if god wants my friends to all perish then i will make it happen"
Thu, 03/19/09 - 09:59
In traditional Russian form, Fedor's body was levitated to the alien mother ship over head. There, his fighting spirit will be yet again reinstated into a different human body so that he may terrorize mankind for another 10 years. This time though, instead of the unassuming build of a pudgy, teddy-bear-like Russian, his new, even more ironic form will be a 14 year old girl...with one arm...and no ears.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 09:59
After BJ Penn's mother told the crazy russians that her beloved son would not fight Fedor because he suspects him to usually grease his way to victory, Fedor and friends celebrates from relief.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 10:03
Fedor's friends celebrates his decision to get rid of that ugly pullover. Now, they've planned to tell him about those small shorts and gi.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 10:04
Fedor: "Gravity is my homeboy"
Thu, 03/19/09 - 10:05
END debate : Fedor is n#1 p4p currently beating out oxygen
Thu, 03/19/09 - 10:06
Wiiiiiii! The only thing that would make me happier is if I had two icecream cones right now! How taste my big cream cone!
Thu, 03/19/09 - 10:09
Red Devil trust exercises.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 10:09
"Now everyone run!"
Thu, 03/19/09 - 10:10
Fedor receiving praise from his Sambros
Thu, 03/19/09 - 10:12
In an attempt to be at the forefront of the green movement among MMArtists, Fedor experiments with a jet fuel free method of air travel throughout Russia.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 10:13
lowering Fedor in WWE style makes the fanboys scream like girls at a jonas brothers concert
Thu, 03/19/09 - 10:25
Fedor's Team helps him simulate flight for his upcoming fight with God, only $139.95 on PPV. [$179.95 for HD]
Thu, 03/19/09 - 10:26
"I could tha US of A from here. Comrades higher I want to seeeeeee........"
Thu, 03/19/09 - 10:29
Three STD's for Fedor... Hep, Hepa, Hooray Hep, Hepa, Hooray Hep, Hepa, Hooray
Thu, 03/19/09 - 10:30
Dana White's a bitch so we had to put up this gay ass photo of Russians seeing if Fedor can fly because apparently he can do everything else.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 10:32
all those start saying " molest him,molest him!!"
Thu, 03/19/09 - 10:37
the video for the new hit song "its raining FEDOR!!!"
Thu, 03/19/09 - 10:40
The new fedor cheerleading squad.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 10:46
"If you genuinely happy *toss* for me and my accomplishments... *toss* you should thank *toss* the Lord God and not me! ...*toss* *toss* AHH Fucking Christ!"
Thu, 03/19/09 - 10:49
More ass support please!
Thu, 03/19/09 - 10:53
I still havent gotten any magazine from Fight! Thanks CP!! jerks =/ They aren't throwing him. He's just levitating and they are praying. Fedor is God.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 10:54
Oh, shit! Batman wins. That one got more than a chuckle.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 10:57
The anonymous endorsement for Batman was me. My bad!
Thu, 03/19/09 - 11:05
Hey CP, can u guys just put an end to all these unfunny comments and end the contest already? Just give it to Batman.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 11:07
Art Davies proudly presents XTF: Xtreme Trust Fall, the next generation of extreme sports.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 11:09
Yay! Now who's got my pants?
Thu, 03/19/09 - 11:11
BTW, does the Canadian edition always have GSP on it?
Thu, 03/19/09 - 11:16
Stop...that tickles.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 11:17
After Fedor's circumcision, the Russian Team celebrates because they now have enough meat to eat for a year.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 11:20
Believe it or not! This photo was actually taken after his loss, but neither his team nor the referee had the balls to tell him. I'd say.. well played.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 11:20
@ Batman I noticed the mispelling earlier too. Don't worry, you got this.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 11:21
He is ascending into heaven and will be seated at the right hand of the lord.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 11:23
Maybe if we throw him high enough he can thank god for us
Thu, 03/19/09 - 11:25
Good ol' russian hot potato.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 11:29
"I'm the king of the world!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Thu, 03/19/09 - 11:35
fedor falls on his head after this toss up.... he then proceeds to put everyone in a kimura immediately after (ie: randleman)
Thu, 03/19/09 - 11:37
Dear Diary, I had the best day ever. I won another tournament for Sambo. And after I got the trophy all my team pick me up and tossed me in air. I was all like WEEE and YEAAA. We had good laugh. It was fun. Then the guys took me to eat pizza and ice cream. I got strawberry. I wish Alex was there. I am going to bed now. I HEART Jesus, F.E.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 11:42
This is looking exactly like a night at Chuck Lidell's house, right down to little bitches getting fingers and thumbs up thier ass.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 11:53
I make Arlovski do this after I hit him.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 11:55
Light as a feather, stiff as a board...
Thu, 03/19/09 - 11:57
Due to a scheduling conflict at the venue, a cheerleading practice was booked at the same time as the sambo tourney. A new sport was born: Cheerbo. And Billy Blanks wept.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 12:07
Only CP commentors, Although I must admit Batman's caption was funny, there is no need to gargle his balls. Have some pride.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 12:14
Fedor at cheerleading practice.....
Thu, 03/19/09 - 12:19
The Russian community tries to stop Fedor from celeberating with Scotty and the rest of the Star Trek crew
Thu, 03/19/09 - 12:22
...and then the "light as a feather, stiff as a board"-session got a little wierd...
Thu, 03/19/09 - 12:23
Celebrating this way is much better than the way Fedor used to celebrate, which was simply wetting himself from overexcitement in anticipation of his complementary cotton candy for winning
Thu, 03/19/09 - 12:23
It's raining men hallelujah it's raining men hallelujah!
Thu, 03/19/09 - 12:26
Long story short, Fedor failed to make the Cirque du Soleil squad, he was the odd man out in the human pyramid of 70 lb girls
Thu, 03/19/09 - 12:27
"The Ruskie Royal Treatment" -or- "Ruskie Business"
Thu, 03/19/09 - 12:28
"OK, when Jerry Millen walks over you all throw me on top of him, then we dont get charged for murder. Can claim accident."
Thu, 03/19/09 - 12:31
Try as they might, Fedor's apostles could not stop the Ascension.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 12:31
This is the hazing done to Fedor when he loses in Sambo. Just wait and see when he loses in MMA!
Thu, 03/19/09 - 12:34
The People Feeding Fedor to Tank Abbot.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 12:34
Fedor laughs at your four winds!
Thu, 03/19/09 - 12:35
For he's a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good FELLOOOWW!!.....which nobody can't submit or knockout.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 12:39
Post cold war Russian space program.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 12:42
Come on guys...seriously stop! I got a turtle head!
Thu, 03/19/09 - 12:42
Light as a feather, stiff as a board.... light as a feather, stiff as a board.... light as a feather stiff as a board.... it really does work!!
Thu, 03/19/09 - 12:51
I motherland we have saying, if you are to be coming on... COME ON!!
Thu, 03/19/09 - 01:01
a group photo of fedor's managment team and the M! Global daily ritual.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 01:06
"Come back, don't leave us!" The people cried, but it was all for naught. Fedor's time on earth was up, thus his ascension back to heaven was only inevitable.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 01:53
"I have to go now. My planet needs me." Note: Fedor died on the way back to his home planet.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 02:01
It's easy to be the #1 p4p fighter in the world when you're weightless
Thu, 03/19/09 - 02:04
Fedor's mastery over all, including gravity, needed no exhibition until panicked Russians ruined his Blue Blazer impression. Too soon? too obscure?
Thu, 03/19/09 - 02:20
Only takes 10 russians to re-enact Randleman slam on Fedor.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 02:23
When that hook over there told me about a "Russian man toss", I'll be honest, I was picturing something completely different.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 02:26
After seeing the photo Arlovski learned how to not get dropped mid flight
Thu, 03/19/09 - 02:28
For he's a jolly good FEDOR, For he's a jolly good FEDOR, For he's a jolly good FEDOR, that no Russian can defy.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 02:31
This picture is upside down. They are not catching Fedor, it is actually a picture of him about to hold the Earth on his shoulders.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 02:31
Oh, my! Get out of the way, please! It's burning and bursting into flames. And all the folks agree that this is terrible; this is the worst of the worst catastrophes in the world. It's a terrific crash, ladies and gentlemen. Oh, the humanity!
Thu, 03/19/09 - 02:36
After becoming one of the world's most accomplished fighters Fedor prepares for his next goal; to become a L.A. Laker Girl.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 02:40
1) Fedor: Did you just touch my ass? -/- OR 2) Referee: EWW dude I just got a stink finger!! -/- OR 3) ?????????? ???? = No Homo in Russian
Thu, 03/19/09 - 02:41
Fanboys no Touch
Thu, 03/19/09 - 02:54
Mother Russia gives birth to Fedor Emelianenko at 6'0 233 pounds.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 02:58
Fedor is welcomed back to earth after defeating Zeus via TKO.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 03:00
Yet another Fedor love child falls from the sky. Welcome to the motherland comrade.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 03:02
"ok ... everyone with hepa please raise there hand" Fedor! Seriously do you always have to be difficult ...
Thu, 03/19/09 - 03:02
(1)Fedor escapes Zuffa attorneys and Mob hitmen yet again by floating away. (2) Fedor auditioning to play Nappa in the next Dragon Ball Z movie (3) Fedor auditioning to play Dhalisim in the next Street Fighter and plans to same surgery as Robet Downey Jr in Tropic Thunder.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 03:12
In Soviet Russia, Fedor tosses you in air. (He much enjoy democracy).
Thu, 03/19/09 - 03:17
so as the rat's milk is returned to the sewers and Fedor is returned to heaven the cycle of life is complete.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 03:21
And on the third bounce, it dawned on Fedor that having a 100 fingers in and around his buttocks was not something he preferred. He would never trust Aleks for sexual advice again.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 03:24
Fedor being beamed up for B.J. Penn's "Live Like a Champion" project.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 03:44
The greatest Pound-4-Pound king >>> Gravity. Take that Newton.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 03:45
It's a bird, it's a plane...
Thu, 03/19/09 - 03:45
This just in..."God's second attempt at taking back one of his flawless creations thwarted by Fedor's 8 disciples...and 1 referee."
Thu, 03/19/09 - 03:46
Fedor by flying armbars.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 03:47
Due to rough economic times scary rollercoasters have taken a back seat in favor for more affordable thrill rides. How many icecream cones did it take to prevent Fedor from entering orbit?
Thu, 03/19/09 - 03:48
"With communism again rearing its ugly head the dwarfs are no longer the only ones being tossed"
Thu, 03/19/09 - 03:49
The Rapture....MMA style!!
Thu, 03/19/09 - 03:52
Fedor 3:16 "Verily the multitude of Sambopostles doth set their gaze upon the ascending lord as he sayeth to them, 'Surely, I shall return to smite the giant from the Land of 10,000 Lakes.'"
Thu, 03/19/09 - 03:52
In his typically loquacious manner, Fedor says "weee."
Thu, 03/19/09 - 03:58
"Faster than a speeding pitbull. More powerful than a lanky maine-iac. Able to leap nine feet into the air in a single bound. Look! Up in the sky! It's flying gogoplata time!"
Thu, 03/19/09 - 04:16
This year's hottest holiday gift? The new 'Tickle Me Fedor' doll.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 04:33
Fuck the contest. This magazine is an enigma. It's called Fighters Only, yes, meaning it's for fighters only I presume. Trouble is, 95% of the figters in the world make shit. They work 12 hours a day to pay for food, a shitty apartment and training. They don't have two cents to rub together, but they're gonna shell out for a magazine that claims to be "the worlds leading MMA and lifestyle magazine", even though they're just launching in North America? Their sense of timing is impecable, I've been hearing a lot about this, what's it called, M-M-A. Plus, any time you're telling people with money your product isn't for them you're making a terrible business decision. I'm dying to be told, up to, 12 things I love about MMA by this magazine. Sadly, I am not a fighter and therefore ineligible to give them my money and be told what I like about it. Oh well, as my Mom used to say, "I never wanted you and you ruined my life".
Thu, 03/19/09 - 04:44
Due to the economic downturn, Russia unveils the lauch of its new space program Fedor
Thu, 03/19/09 - 05:23
I'm rich...who needs a fucking trampoline.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 05:38
Due to the economic crisis, Disney Russia had to cut some corners with their rides...
Thu, 03/19/09 - 05:39
Coming to a theater near you ... Bring it on 5: From russia with gloves
Thu, 03/19/09 - 05:42
“You have to understand. It’s like when you go under the water. You feel like a bubble. Can you imagine over 10,000 people that are making all of the bubbles? That just got into my body. It just got me really electrified, really excited!"
Thu, 03/19/09 - 06:24
Kung foodor (no wires)...
Thu, 03/19/09 - 06:39
2 months ago: Fedor: -"No George, grease goes on BACK, not in CRACK!" -"My brother got my grease in crack once, he got hep in his ass after!" -"And remember: NO greasing before air tossing! Makes person hard to catch!"
Thu, 03/19/09 - 06:51
No wonder Fedor can't sign with the UFC. An exclusive contract may not contain "Celebratory body flailing by adoring admirers" as one of its stipulations.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 06:53
"The fabulous FEDORINI!" Step aside Criss Angel and David Blaine, there's a new magician in town.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:10
Fedor: Guys if you want to see me knock god out you'll have to throw me higher.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:14
Crappy Russian special effects, you can totally see the wires.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:26
In Soviet Union, sambo levitate you.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:49
LOL, I was going to make a captions for the two pictures of the magazines because they are just as easy to make captions for as that Fedor pic. Was going to say for Lorenzo: "I'm just an investor...Does it look like I ever really care?" And for GSP: "I'm walking down to Hawaii to finish you BJ..."
Thu, 03/19/09 - 07:51
Timekeeper- Bah, if he was so great, he'd float twenty feet in the air!
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:22
fearing fedor's wrath the locals scrambled to simulate a "scary rollercoster ride"
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:33
I think Batman should win. That's just too funny.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:34
Fedor loses weight to join the lightweight division, he is now light enough to be tossed into the air. BJ Penn better prepare another excuse for why he will lose. BJ: Fedor's younger daughter is named Vasilisa, which sort of sounds like Vaseline, which is illegal! If you name your kid after your lubricant product, then man, you're a little bitch. Fedor: *overhand right*
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:46
Everyone that Fedor has beat unites as one and tries to finally take the machine down. Theres no Disney land in Russia. So you have to deal with what you got.
Thu, 03/19/09 - 08:56
Everybody just do what he says or he'll kick our ass
Thu, 03/19/09 - 09:28
The guy in the white shirt w/ blue shoes in the background... "Fedor gets all the fun..."
Thu, 03/19/09 - 09:33
Two possible scenarios come out of this: A) They fumble the catch: this becomes the last known photograph of all of the inidividuals involved OR B) They successfully make the catch: this still becomes the last known photograph of all of the individuals involved. FEDOR BY ARMBAR!
Thu, 03/19/09 - 09:59
i was gonna try to write something but i think Geriatric Peon won it
Thu, 03/19/09 - 11:24
...and now, they demonstrate the light frame of the communist robot man-beater!
Thu, 03/19/09 - 11:41
"No one has gone up to heaven except the one who came down from heaven, the Son of Man who is in heaven..." John 3:13
Fri, 03/20/09 - 01:35
After his monumental victory over Zeus, Fedor descends gloriously into the loving hands of his subjects.
Fri, 03/20/09 - 02:28
All Russians know to never let the Fedor touch the ground, or you'll have to burn it.
Fri, 03/20/09 - 05:52
Look at the guy in the back looking away uninterested, even though it will take Fedor 5 seconds to get back on his feet that dude's got 3 seconds until he recieves a vicious armbar
Fri, 03/20/09 - 06:35
An angry mob attacks Fedor Emelienenko after finding out that he as been using Vaseline this whole time.
Fri, 03/20/09 - 06:40
In the ultimate example of lay-and-pray, Machida remains seated and continues to take notes on the distracted Fedor in search of his weakness.
Fri, 03/20/09 - 07:40
Fighters Only is the magazine equivalent of Ross Pointon.
Fri, 03/20/09 - 08:44
Fedor: "This is NOT what i meant when i said Toss Salad!! Bitches!!"
Fri, 03/20/09 - 11:11
Not pictured: Russian dignity.
Fri, 03/20/09 - 02:24
correction!! When that HOOKER over there told me about a "Russian man toss", I'll be honest, I was picturing something completely different.
Fri, 03/20/09 - 02:54
He can see Sarah Palin's house from that high.
Fri, 03/20/09 - 03:21
Fedors new MMA training - Strange Daycare games.
Fri, 03/20/09 - 05:37
Even gravity doesn't want to fight with fedor
Sat, 03/21/09 - 03:35
In Russia the bride often chooses to keep the bouquet and throw the groom.
Sat, 03/21/09 - 06:52
Whennnn Fe-dor hits your eye, Like that Ar-lov-ski guy, That's...a knock out. (sing to the tune of "That's Amore" by Dean Martin)
Sat, 03/21/09 - 09:08
Samboree '09
Sat, 03/21/09 - 10:31
Everyone who had a part in helping Fedor win this event help out, get in here Mr. Referee you were as much a part of this as anyone! -or- levatating is harder than this thing you call M-M-A but both I do with the ease
Mon, 03/23/09 - 09:06
"We send him back from which he came"
Mon, 03/23/09 - 03:26
Vegas fans aren't this dedicated. Bye UFC!
Mon, 03/23/09 - 09:42
I thought we were focusing on global warming. Congratulations Russia. You just made a new hole in the ozone layer.
Post a comment:
You must be logged in to post a comment.