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15 Moments of Instant Regret [GIFs]

Caption Contest: Win Tickets to UFC 102


(To this day Jet Li still isn’t convinced that this photo wasn’t somehow taken during an interesting, though slightly terrifying dream he had after passing out drunk with Spike TV blaring in the background.)

Good news for the Pacific Northwest portion of the Potato Nation.  We have two free tickets to give away to UFC 102 in Portland, Oregon next weekend – thanks to our good buddies at Fight Magazine – and we’re going to give them to whoever can most successfully amuse us with a caption for the above image.  Just ask the winner of our UFC 101 tickets, Lebowski1976, and he’ll tell you that it’s totally worth the struggle if it means you get to pour beer on some loudmouth jerk from your free seats at a UFC event.

As usual, if your entry does not tell us that you are geographically capable of actually attending the event, we’re going to assume that you aren’t and therefore no matter how LOL-worthy your entry is, you’ll still be watching UFC 102 from home.  However, this time around we do have a special, non-regionally exclusive consolation prize for a few select runners-up: a year’s subscription to Fight Magazine.

So go ahead, give us your best shot in the comments section.  We’ll comb through the entries and announce our winners early next week.  And no, we won’t give a damn if you thought yours was funnier.  We read it, and it wasn’t.  We’re absolutely positive.

Cagepotato Comments

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cityvville- February 12, 2011 at 10:05 pm
You really make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this topic to be really something that I think I would never understand. It seems too complicated and very broad for me. I am looking forward for your next post, I’ll try to get the hang of it!
tjorkill- August 26, 2009 at 8:00 pm
Whilst reliving his childhood as 'Class Clown', Jet Li unwittingly opened the door for the bullies of his youth as well. (Tito just showed up anyway). It was a tragic ending for young Timmy's "Make a Wish" request to be Mini Li for a day when Tito,
thinking himself a class clown as well, gave little Timmy a noogie on his brain tumor.
( I live 45min from the Rose Garden)
tjorkill- August 26, 2009 at 6:46 pm
LiL Li says: "Wait don't take the picture yet till Randy puts a shirt and some long pants on. And guys, get your stinkin' paws away from my head or I'll bite your kneecaps off."
bcochran- August 24, 2009 at 2:17 pm
From the critically acclaimed director that brought you "Never Surrender" is now back for round two with his new smash prequel "Never Surrender II: the Dark Age."
bcochran- August 24, 2009 at 2:09 pm
One of these men knows absolutely nothing about martial arts and here's a hint: it's not the midget.
Da Spied Her- August 24, 2009 at 11:24 am
Hal was regretting that he won the Cage Potato "Spend a day with three former UFC champions, a movie star, and a midget" photo caption contest.

(I still can't go)
Da Spied Her- August 24, 2009 at 9:02 am
Oh, almost forgot, I'm far, far away from Portland.
Da Spied Her- August 24, 2009 at 8:59 am
After this day, Sean Sherk decided taking steroids was the only way he would ever get as big as the other guys so they would stop teasing him.
Drunkinmidget187- August 24, 2009 at 6:48 am
Ultrasound of the Octo-mom's uterus; circa 2002.



Once again, I'm down like Charlie Brown in China Town to go!
TheHuytonHandGrenade- August 24, 2009 at 3:29 am
Dana Whites mini me made some unusual choices for a lightweight title challenger. He also doesnt give a fuck what you think about it so talk to the hand fuckers!!!
Dropkick_Murphy- August 24, 2009 at 12:52 am
"...It was a magical place! You were there! and you were there, and you wer-" "Um, how much anesthesia did you give Wanderlei before the facial surgery?"
kolms- August 23, 2009 at 11:53 pm
Photographic evidence that Couture has been pursuing a serious acting career for awhile now.


Geographically possible to be there. Oregon repping.

I would also wear this on a tshirt if I were in attendance. Just saying...
EzMoNeY- August 23, 2009 at 6:53 pm
official line up of dana white's sexual conquests since 2002 (not featured, lorenzo fertita, marty cordova, and elliot the camera guy)

in portland
EzMoNeY- August 23, 2009 at 6:38 pm
l
EzMoNeY- August 23, 2009 at 6:05 pm
back in 2002 (during filming of the action movie classic, Cradle 2 the Grave), many thought the behind the scenes founding of a fighters union, headed by 3 former world champions, jet li, and a baby was a full proof plan for increased fighter pay and benefits. 7 years later, and gegard mousasi still only gets paid $2,000 to beat renato babalu's ass in a title fight. that my friends, is what we like to call progress.

in portland
SpoogeJoeCool- August 23, 2009 at 5:37 pm
This is what Strikeforce wet dreams are made of....

I can make it to Portland
Horror Fighter- August 23, 2009 at 4:35 pm
Tito's new UFC contract includes: rematches with Randy and Chuck, a fan pic with Jet Li, a fluffer, and Mr. Roarke's manservant.

Why do all of our hands smell like fish? Oh. Hi, Jenna.

All Tito ever wanted was a little respect.

Jet and Tito went on to win the world championship for synchronized shadow puppets after they accidentally discovered that they could totally do a kick-ass bunny rabbit.

Facing Randy and Chuck, Tito once again comes up short.

"Hey, guys, look what I made with all the leftover skin from Jenna's surgeries!"

Six men. One porn star. What will our DNA tests reveal? "Jet Li, you are NOT the father!"

Seriously, Jet, how many times did you blow a load in Jenna's face?

Well, Tito could beat one of them.

So that's what the doctors removed from Tito's back.

"Look -- Rogan passed out again. Quick, gather round. This should completely blow his mind when he opens his eyes..."

Moments later, they broke a world's record when they crawled into Jenna's uterus.

I hear David Lynch's next movie is about MMA.

Welcome back to the UFC, Tito. Here's a group of potential opponents. Just throw a punch at the guy you want.

He may lack strength and reach, but the latest addition to the UFC is still the best pound-for-pound fighter in the sport.

The normally stoic Jet Li never fails to laugh when MMA fighters surround him and a midget elbows him in the crotch.

The MMA legends were happy to meet Jet Li, although they were less impressed with Gordon Liu.

"Sssh...Santa's a huge fan. Get ready to yell, 'Surprise!'"

Tito tried to play cool when it crawled out of his trunks, but the other guys couldn't believe that a pubic louse could grow that size.

"No, wait, don't take the picture! I'm too big to be seen with these losers!"

*****

Not in Portland. Nowhere close.


Doc Future- August 23, 2009 at 4:14 pm
2 words: Were's Guttenburg?
bigvikefan- August 23, 2009 at 8:48 am
The (now embarrassing) early UFC practice of Champions cracking open a dwarf delivered by Chinese takeout to find their prize prompted much of the government regulatory backlash.
BillFroster- August 23, 2009 at 2:14 am
*Editor's note* Picture taken pre-Zuffa UFC, before Dana was inflated by his ego.


I live in Portland!!!!
Drunkinmidget187- August 23, 2009 at 2:06 am
Even with a white Mr. T, the A-Team was unable to find work.

I live 3 stops train stop down from the Rose Garden and would love you for ever ever if you were declared me a winner!
GetUpAndKill- August 22, 2009 at 11:25 pm
The casting call for the movie adaptation of "The Hobbit" was grossly misinterpreted by all but one of the prospective actors...Congratulations Tito!
Perma- August 22, 2009 at 10:18 pm
Jenna had everyone pose for a group photo, before each took the paternity test.

(oregon resident)
Coenine- August 22, 2009 at 10:09 pm
Can make it to Portland
Coenine- August 22, 2009 at 10:07 pm
Dr. Wong's Rape Hotline; just give us a name.
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