It looks like Akebono retired to a life of relaxation, and by relaxation I mean forced labour and cruelty. Maybe he can act some revenge and "Cheik Kongo" Overeem and by "Cheik Kongo" I mean... lets face it you know what I mean.

Machida's got nothing on me... He may drink his own pee, but I eat Hippo poo!

Alistair steps in to fight Minowamans next opponent...

I never really knew that she could dance like this...

She makes a "Demolition Man" want to speak Spanish...

Shakira, Shakira, I know your hippo hips don't lie...

"Is this thing gluten free?"

with a twinkle in his eyes Alistair walks up behind the Hippo and says

"Bend Over and grab your toes, I’m going to show you where the wild muskrat goes.

Bend over and touch your toes, i’m going to show you where the wild goose goes!"

Overeem pokes fun at George for excessive weight gain, George hits back calling him a Hippo-crate

Having consumed all land horses in his quest for power, Ubereem set his sights upon the river variety.

Damn, the red right district in Amsterdam is even better than I thought it would be! Anything goes!

I promise to fight more in 2011 Mr. Coker. Let's shake on it.

Pssst... where can I get some "juice" around here?

So what you are telling me Aleksander, is that if I go elbow deep in your large ass, you can guarantee me a win against your brother?

At a recent Strikeforce media day, Alistair is hesitant to welcome Tim Sylvia into the heavyweight mix.

This is an unedited photo, that is a full sized hippo and full sized Alistair . When he was 15 at the local petting zoo.

What did you think "The Reem" stood for? A play on my name? Seriously bro


Now that the Reem has finally found an opponent of his calibre, its satisfying to see that he has not one but two escape vehicles so he can run away from the media after his inevitable loss.

Kagemane no Jutsu! Now you can't run from me biatch, time for the Reem!

This is a little move I like to call "The Shocker"

One amazing summer morning. In an oddly world way beyond your creative imagination, Alistair was waking up just in time for his 6th round of horse meat. Alistair happily jumped to his feet and ran to the kitchen only to find the table empty and a missing aroma of pure clydesdale. Alistair sadly looked to his mother, "Momma, where is the horsey meal?"
"There are no more horses my son," said Momma Overeem. Alistair became anxious and ran to each stable. The clydesdales were gone, the quarter horses were gone. The Arabian, Chiliean, Mustangs horses were gone. Even Alistair's favorite, the My Little Ponys, were gone. "Momma, what shall we do. How will I get my energy? I need horsey to fight Fedor."
"Alistair, my son, a man came. He said his name was Scott Coker. He knew we were out of horsey. He gave us a new option. He has suggested a new meat. Meat from a River Horse."
"Momma, whats a River Horse?"
"Oh, it's wonderful Alistair! They have all kinds of breeds. There are the Bob Sapps, Brett Rogers, James Toneys, Roy Nelsons and even a leaner meat from the Bobby Lashleys."
"I LOVE RIVER HORSE MOMMA!"
So, Alistair got a new meat source and even his energy gained. Who knows when we will see this man again. And who knows if he will ever fight Fedor in the future. But one thing can be known, Alistair will continue dodging fights and will continue to remember that beautiful summer of the river horse.

What is Alistair Overeem about to do to my cousin Chelsea?

"NO, river horse!!!...we said NOT to turn your back when petting the animals!!"

Who wants a mustache ride?

Overeem getting shown what his jaw will look like in a few years if he doesn't stop "only fighting in Japan" and "eating horsemeat".

Hey Overeem, why do they call you "The Reem"? Well let me show you Mr. Hippo!

"ummm......full mount?"

wait...so your telling me what comes out of here!

wow...this is just how i thought that the stare down between overeem and roy nelson would look

well people didn't buy the horse meat excuse, but hippo... that might just work!

Ima mumba jumba Alistair Overeem, naw im sayin?

"Greco Roman what?"

I didn't get this big eating Chicken of the Sea.

Now that's some heavy petting!

The Dutch have always had an open mind when it comes to drug consumption. Now that hippo-licking has caught on like toad-licking, the local petting zoo quickly became the place to be. It got so bad that they had to fence-out the people to protect the hippos from the damned drug-tourists.

"like a gorilla on crack..."

Alistair overeem Co stars in The Klumps go to Prison

James Toney Decides to try K-1

Badr? Please... I... I ... let me make it up to you.

Thirty years ago, in a secret lab underneath the University of Berlin, East German scientists separated two hippopotami at birth in an effort to find the most effective performance enhancing pharmaceuticals. One subject acted as the control and was fed his natural diet, while the other was given a steady intake of horse meat and anabolic steroids. The results were staggering.

Now reuinited, Valentijn and Alistair travel around the Dutch countryside in their souped-up orange golf cart, dodging title challenges by day, and fighting crime by night as......... The Brothers Overeem!

I'd like to touch it with a 25 centimeter pole

This title fight oddly makes more sense than Overeem and Rogers.

The Overeem Brothers

Bret Johnson vs Alistair Overeem the Rematch

Alistair declines a ride on the Quad and the Golf cart and instead points at his favored mode of Environmentally friendly transportation

Overeem guest stars on OZ

" Here's what I learned in Prison "

Roy nelson has joined Overeems training camp to help him train for larger opponents

Hey piggy...You eat horsemeat, too?

Damn baby girl

Alistair Overeem welcomes Roy 'Big country' Nelson to Strikeforce

"Allistar plays with his lunch before killing it"

"The NEW horse meat"

Alistair meets his first round opponent for the Dream Super Hulk tournament 2011

"Tina you fat lard! come get some dinner!" Just like Nepolean Dynamite and the llama, right guys? Love that movie!

High Definition is very unflattering to Bret Rogers...

Yo Billy! I met this girl once, she looked abit like this.. I said "Jeez you got a big pussy. Jeez you got a big pussy" She said "why'd you say that twice?" I said "I didn't".....

\o_ *Cue robot dance*

Haha Nice to meet you River Horse. I can not wait to eat your bacon-esque horse meat.
There is no escape from the Demolition man's lobster tank.

show us on the river horse where the bad man touched you Alistair

The River Horse was less than enthused with Overeem's rendition of
"I'm a Little Teapot".

Reem shows his gentle side when he's not against cute female reporters.

''Here we can see the Reem gently telling an hippo to get the fuck out of the way so he can show the camera his brand new 8 inches rims on his sweet ride''

Wow, this things smells like when Marloes slaps me in a triangle.

But there was nothing Allistair could offer the hippo, who already owned an 8% share of M-1.

Family reunions can be so awkward

Whether its an armbar or crotch thrusting, you will submit to me hippo.

Hold on big boy. Imma let you taste my horse meat.

Overeem loves to demonstrate how War Machine was made a bitch in Prison.

Turn your head and cough please.

Who knew a hippo could get conjugal visits?

Alistair tries his hand at turd burgling

"... and this chocolate river horse for dessert. To go, please."

Hey river horse, I'm really into you and some douchebag in a magician's hat told me that I should incorporate some kino into my pickup game. I hope you don't notice my body language and realize that I'm still very intimidated by your beauty.

FEDOR, HOW YOU'VE LET YOURSELF GO....
FOOD IS NOT THE ANSWER..

It's proving more and more difficult to find suitable sparring partners for Overeem these days.

Butterbean? that you?

I was unaware that Bob Sapp was training at Golden Glory.

You sure this is lean meat?

Looks like Rogers is still pissed at Alistair.

Its hard to fathom that a seasoned vet like Allistair Overeem would fail to heed the Tito Ortiz Rule (no sticking fingers in any orphus while in the cage).

Overeem, " Lyoto Machida may like to drink a cup of his own piss during training, but I like to go the extra mile and go with a handful of hippo swass to get the nutrients you just can't find anywhere else. It really gives me that extra burst."

Crrredit card! hehehe

Oh Reem you jokester you

"Finally UFC & Strikeforce have a co-promotion; Overeem vs. Roy Nelson"

"now that I've eaten all the horses in the Netherlands, your family's next bitch!!!"

After he evolved into MEGAREEM, puny humans were no longer a challenge to Alistair. He moved on to fighting other creatures in the animal kindom, his first challenge was Africas most dangerous animal.

Rosie O'Donnell's post fight interview with Alistair Overeem.

Don't you hate it when a fighter doesn't take training seriously and shows up in the cage lookin like a freakin hippo?

"For instance class, if I were this hippo, the injection would go right about here"

new style of food preparation for the dutch hero... in one end goes regular horse and out the other end comes out "uber-horse"

After Jason Guida pulled out of his fight with Overeem in Africa, the promoters had to get creative with finding a new opponent.

Sadly, this hippo probably has more mma experience than some of Alistair's previous opponents.

any second now, rich "ace" franklin is gonna pop out of its ass and yell "like a gloooooooove". "Bumblebee tuna, your balls are showing."

If it wasnt for his love of hippos Alistair may have never been able to come to grips with Fedor losing to Werdum.

So you're saying Fedor isn't in there? Can I take a look?

The Reem Episode 10 is totally NSFW.

======================================

Here we catch a glimpse of his softer side as he touches on some heavy subjects.

Add all these combinations together like everyone else: something, something, something, horse meat, river horse, Chandella, Bob Sapp, hippo fucker.

IF u were the known as the Reem you'd be tempted to try this too.

Queers like Richard Gere use gerbils where as Ubermen use Hippo's.

"Don't worry guys I've seen Ace do this before. Wait, what? That was a rhino? It all works the same right?"

I wonder what that would look like on a plate.

Ubereem will fuck your girlfriend no matter what she looks like because that's what he was designed to do!! Seriously, if that dude fucked your GF you would probably tell your gf you wouldn't do shit about it.

'excuse me mr zookeeper, i asked for horsemeat'

Come on out Ace ... I know your in there you crazy Pet Detective.

Scott Coker assured fans that Alistair will defend his Strikeforce title as soon as he has fulfilled his obligation to K1 and the San Diego Zoo.

Horse meat? Yeah I still use it...to feed my hippo!! Hippo meat is the future!!

Who says "The REEM" doesn't face top competition?

The Reem 10: A tribute to all things horse, including the river horse, hobby horses, Band of Horses, sawhorses, and a game of horse between Charles Bennett and Heath Herring.

Scott Coker: "No, I don't think it is fair to call this a 'freak show' fight. It may not have any cage experience, but look... hippos are responsible for more human deaths in Africa than any other animal. That has to count for a lot. You know, we are concerned with putting together the best fights possible at heavyweight, and we talked to Overeem's people, and we talked with various wildlife out there... and really, this was the best fight possible right now."

I would have never expected the Dutch to something so weird

never thought id see the demolition man challenge emmanuel yarborough...

After Alistair offered to touch gloves I realized I am getting sick of these Japanese freak-show fights.

"this is how a rear anal choke is performed..."
WTF !!!!!!!!111
"huh.. if you eat meat u get big :D"

Not understanding that it is a figure of speech, Alistair tries to literally "have Scott Coker wrapped around his little finger" in the only way he can think of.

Shortly following the taking of this field trip photo, the children of Washington Elementary learned the subtle, yet crucial, difference between a petting zoo and a fisting zoo.

Even as Alistair touched his hind quarters in that special way that he liked, Scott Coker continued to ignore him, leaving him feeling angry and small inside.

Crazy DREAM promoters and their freak show fights
DREAM K-1 DYNAMITE!! 2010 -- 12/31/10 New Year's Eve Fight Card

River Horse vs Alistar Overeem
Geoffrey the Giraffe vs Bob Sapp
20 Large Pizzas vs Eric "Butterbean" Esch
Elmo vs Takanori "The Fireball Kid" Gomi

"Come on guys... that's not a real hippo. He hasn't moved since we got here... Alright, I will prove it, just watch..."

"You're not Fedor.. but I guess you'll do."

Photographic evidence of how Ubereem has been beating all steroid tests. Here he is, preparing to acquire the profound undetectable 'synthetic' testosterone in its natural form, which can be administered in a multiple of different fashions that include intravenous and oral consumption....

"Don't worry, my first time was a little rough too" - Overeem

So easy, little kids can do it. Put in the coin, hop on and hang on Ubereem.

(song) "You put your right hand in, and you shake it all about. You do the hippo poo grab and you put it in your mouth. That's how you beat the system"

Overeem's Golden Glory buddies were getting frustrated that he had more interest in checking if the plastic animals were anatomically correct than just finishing the damn round of mini-golf. Cor eventually had to threaten to take away Alistair's arcade tokens.

Strikeforce Johannesburg: Alistair Overeem vs Bob Sapp

Alistair tests his latest undetectable growth hormone suppository on a hapless baby pig with surprising and instant results!

Just a classic dutch rodeo...

After all it's only illegal is it is not consensual
hxxp://www.metro.co.uk/weird/59184-man-walks-free-after-sheep-refuses-to-testify

What, Brock's diet consists of river horse?! Err I mean steriods--err river horse?

horse meat and river horse meat are the same thing no?

At last, the fight of the decade is here, "UFC 129: Lesnar VS Overeem"

Overeem vs. Rodgers 2

Are you sure this hiphopopatumus is Asian?
Yes.
Are you sure this hiphopopatumus is a girl?
Yes.
Alright, let's do this, crawl on my back.

Alistair - "I'm extremely frustrated, I've got him cornered but I can't do shit. I can't secure hooks, and I can't lock in a choke. Extreme times call for Ubereem measures, so I decide to employ the infamous Asian Dart."

"I touched the butt"

"I am going to show you something called ANAL FEESTING, but first i kneel here like dis, and i EAT DA POO POO!" Alistair exclaimed.

The Reem attempts the "asian dart" after reading "Got Fight?"

Overeem : Hippo, I just want you to know. I'm not afraid to hit girls, I eat horses, and I'd like you to offer you some of my dietary steroids to beef up those tiny legs of yours.

Oh look, a female reporter river horse.

Hey, I heard about this cool trick with dogs, lets see if it works with this thing, does anyone have some peanut better?

Alistair on the set of a Japanese tampon commercial

Come on Fujita, don't be like that. This New Years Eve, I promise we'll do something YOU want to do.

Hey river horse, there seems to be some dirt around your rear here, oh, wait, what's this? A QUARTER! You keep that river horsey. I'll be here all week.

Overeem consoles an emotionally devastated Anthony Perosh after his loss to Mirko Cro Cop.

Hippo's are as wide as they are long, huh? -Allistair

Yeah, I know who you are. Take that hand back before I show you what a real heavyweight can do, you horse eating motherfucker.

Oh my God that thing is huge!!!

Hey look, a Hippo.

"Here kitty kitty kitty"

Why is Chandella posing with a strikeforce fighter? Oh, man is Dana Gonna be pissed. He's gonna fuck her like she's never been fucked before.

Next,

Alistair chose to ride the hippo because orange isn't his color.

Alistair, it's a hippoPOTAMUS not a hippoHOTANUS!

Don't punch yet...you gotta wait til his mouth's open!

Overeem's trainers told him that large quantities of water would help mask the horse steroids he has been taking. I'm not sure this is what they had in mind

In the animal kingdom, the hippo had no known predators until recently; when it met the elusive Overeem. This picture is the last moment before the hippo became Overeem's next meal

Overeem: Have you guys ever given a Hippo a rusty trombone??

No this isnt how Matt hughs does it and this isnt even a farm Alistair!

A picture of the last time Overeem made the mistake of hitting on Kimbo Slice's momma!!

I'll say it again, neither me nor my cat, are on steroids.

...but Fedor said him and Aleks used to fist these things in Soviet Russia.

Good chance someone has already posted similar captions, but I'm not reading through a bunch of garbage to find out. That's your job.

Anyway:
Little did the poor guy know, but The Reem had just been informed that hippo meat has higher protein content than his usual game, the horse.

Overeem: Abusive towards women (insert youtube evidence here), loving towards 4 legged animals - except at lunch.

"Trust me, you'll like it".

Alistair heard that Lions in the wild eat hippo feces for the boost in testosterone it gives them. He figured, if that's just their shit, what would a whole hippo do?

Allistair Overeem seen practicing South Africa's national sport, dodge the muck spread.

Camp Gitmo actually looks pretty cool

Hippo. The other, other white meat

You mean this zoo has hippos AND Danish people? Let's go!

Alistair claims that horse meat is what helped him bulk up, but the real secret to his success: hippo farts.

Overeem by guillotine

After two consecutive nights of heavy drinking and excessive horse consumption Alistair falls victim to the classic drunkard's folly, not checking with a wing-man before moving in for the kill...

Allister moments away from entering the bad idea hall of fame.

Stop holding the cage Sapp!

Be it a race horse, work horse, gift horse, saw horse, white horse, or river horse...Alistair's taste buds show no bias.

Get your steroid hand out of my ass you big weird looking freak.

Hey Big Country, are you in good hands? That's All State's stand

dont worry i only eat horse,you know,so lets have a pet no?

For years people had wondered, why the barbed-wire-fence seemed to have been constructed not to keep the hippo inside, but to keep something out...or someone.

"ALISTAIR!!!, I told you.... NO! means NOOOO!!!!!!"

Wonder if you get the same amount of protein from all types of horses? Least I wont have to worry about any steroids in the meat if I cut some steaks off this thing.

Ubereem: "Brett, I'm sorry I said those hurtful things in the pre and post fight interviews...lets hug it out."

Filming begins on the next great and awesome film about MMA fighters in prison. Starring: Overeem, Ray Liotta, an English actor that pretends to be tough but isn't (and potentially was in a Guy Ritchie film), and all the way from Hilo Hawaii... the former UFC heavyweight punching bag... Cabbage!

Having never seen a river horse before, Overeem was confused which end to pet.

Do not look down upon poor Overeem, every guy is guilty of doing at least one river horse in their lifetime, although usually it due to being drunk or losing a bet not trying to get a performance edge.

2 hours later Alistair cleaned off the last bone on his plate and triumphantly announced "Tastes like horse".

Alistair is a happy man. He was able to get to second base on his first date.

Hello there! ;-)

Alistair Overeem's idea of being hypocritical is kicking a hippo to death.

"not all zoo's are petting zoo's Allistair"

Allistair seen here injecting a rhino with steroids shorty before eating it

when regular guys get drunk they end up fucking swamp rhinos. When Allistair Overeem gets drunk he fucks actual rhinos

edit: please take me out of the running for t-shirts because i just realized i've been calling this hippo a rhino the entire time. i am a giant moron and should be punished for being so dumb. i'm going to go sit in time-out now.

edit part-deux: it appears that another terms for fat, ugly hoes, besides swamp rhino of course, is pond hippo. so the above joke would make more sense as:

when regular guys get drunk they end up fucking pond hippos. When Alistair Overeem gets drunk he fucks actual hippos

With the choice of an ATV and a sweet Golf Cart, Overeem picks the hippo, is this a live action filming of Wacky Racers?

I'm bigger than you..I'm higher in the food chain..get.in.mah.bell-ay!!!

Alistar's baby girl had always been a little shy, but that doesn't stop daddy from loving her.

The Demolition Man vs The Demolitionator

Alistair: Have you ever thought about getting into MMA? I'm looking for a real challenge.
Hippo: Not interested.

1 year from today.

Overeem: Damn I know you took your first loss in MMA hard but you sure have let yourself go there Lashley!!

Alistair: "Best. Buffett. Ever!"

WANT TO TOUCH THE HINEYYYYYY!!!

This is still more entertaining than a Jake Shield fight

Overeem: So ...you're name is Chandella huh? I heard you had a nice ass but woww.

The hippo would go on to lose in the first round due to strikes but then Sam Coker proceeded to offer him a title shot.

When ridin' bright orange golf carts just aint' weird enough...

Alistair Overeem: Genetically engineered to fuck your hippo wife!

It's like this Pygmy Hippos is on steroids? amiright?

Alistair demonstarting one of Micheal Jackson's famous dance moves.............FOR A HIPPO!!!!!!

The hippo was itchy, Overeem was happy to oblige.

I don't know if you read it in the news today but apparently Alistair Overeem has to pay the San Diego Zoo a $ 2,500 fine for touching the river horse while not wearing Ove gloves.

What happened was 10 seconds after this photo was taken, Alistair rammed up his thumb upon the river horse's ass. That's okay, if he's wearing Ove gloves but he wasn't. Thus turning the river horse into a huge sack of Skittles.

And here is where out comes the Poo-poo

"I'm here with Golden Glory to work on my new submission technique... the Reem-Job."

"Psst. Hey homie, did you hear? I got hit on by a bunch of Asian bitches and not once did they try to shit on me. They did use the word 'bukkake' once or twice though."

Proof that not all black people are from Africa...

Caption : If you start to muck spread, im knocking you out little buddy.

For those who dont know what a hippo does when it muck spreads,

urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=muck%20spread

youtube.com/watch?v=6g93p9s9kH0

just add the www.

"Ah! Sweet mystery of life, at last I've found thee!"

The most surprisng thing is that the hippo is only -110 in this match

When did Strikeforce sign the Alistarr Vs Tim Sylvia fight?

Mmmmm, looks delicious. Fetch me my giant wooden hammer!

overeem by way of submission (oil check)

" Leave Brett Alone! "

Allastair Overeem helping Bob Sapp make weight.

World Wide TMZ Exclusive Photo

Alistair Overeem at the beach with Chandella Powell's Fraternal Twin.

Say's Alistair: her friends described her as having a great personality and liked to eat a lot, I thought, wow! we should hook up and go on a date. I like her already.

More TMZ exclusive photo's to come.

Looks like they found a replacement opponent for Roy Nelson.

When I met Alistair he asked for horse meat, so I put my penis in his mouth. I'm starting to think this is what he meant.

"Mmm... I have a sweet tooth today. So I'll have that mustang and this chocolate river horse to go, please."

"Now that I've gained his trust... All I gotta do is throw the motherfucker over the fence, hijack that golf cart, and add him to my protein shake"

Excuse me ma'am, I believe you accidentally scattered your dung on my shoe. I prefer to kick the shit out of hippos rather than having a hippo shit on my kickers.

Alistair: He told me enough. He told me you killed him!

Hippo: No Alistair, I am your father.

Alistair: No! That’s not true, that’s impossible!!

Hippo: Search your feelings, you know it to be true. Or just look in the mirror you f*cking freak!!

Hippo McNuggets - The Fighters' Choice!

After letting herself go in celebration of winning the belt, Alistair tries to coax Marloes back to the gym...in his usual gentle way with women.

Hey guys get a picture, I'm gonna rape Brett Rogers again.

Alistair Overeem to himself: "Fuck needles, if only Sonnen would have known about this shit..."

"Come on Marloes, you know I didn't mean it."

This may be the first photo where Alistair didn't look cartoonishly big

Its not from taking steroids that Allistair got so big. Anyone can pop a pill or inject some HGH. An elite level athlete like Overeem takes pride in extracting with his bare hands only the freshest testosterone from a miriad of large and dangerous animals.

On a personal note, I would actually be very interested in seeing this fight.

Ok, if fried taco doesn't get a shirt for cumulative hilarity, there is no justice.

Side note: "cumulative" is one of those words i have to look up, since it never looks right when i type it. Still looks wrong.

Alistair: As my good friend Jorge Rivera once told me, "put your head down and fuck it"!!

Regarding the current status of the ufc's heavyweight division(His unspoken Dream), Alistair has choosen to take on a new training partner.

Even the hippo wouldn't give Alistair the time of day before seeing the results of his drug test.

"Don't be scared, homie. It stays in the family!"

All right, who screwed up my lunch order?! Is this some goddamned prank Emelianenko? For the last time, being pudgy doesn't make you a better fighter.

"Time for your prostate exam. Don't worry I'm a professional.... fighter."

"Alistair you're wearing the wrong shirt! This is a Six Deuce caption contest, not a TokyoFive caption contest! Might I suggest the Fedor Glorious Sweater of Absolute Victory in charcoal grey, it'll flatter your composition." -The Wise River Horse

Alistair was confused - was this his next opponent to fight, or his lunch?

give me your hand and follow me back to my kitchen

Alistair Overeem stops by to see his ole' Pride buddy Mark Hunt after his UFC submission loss to Sean McCorkle. It seems Mark is putting the lb's back on.

Hippo entry in Wikipedia:

The hippopotamus is recognizable by its barrel-shaped torso, enormous mouth and teeth, nearly hairless body, stubby legs and tremendous size. It is the third-largest land mammal by weight (between 1½ and 3 tonnes), behind the white rhinoceros (1½ to 3½ tonnes) and the three species of elephant (3 to 9 tonnes). Despite its stocky shape and short legs, it can easily outrun a human. Hippos have been clocked at 30 km/h (19 mph) over short distances. The hippopotamus is one of the most aggressive creatures in the world and is often regarded as one of the most dangerous animals in Africa. There are an estimated 125,000 to 150,000 hippos throughout Sub-Saharan Africa; Zambia (40,000) and Tanzania (20,000–30,000) possess the largest populations.[1] They are still threatened by habitat loss and poaching for their meat and ivory canine teeth.

Overeem entry in Wikipedia:

The Overeem is recognizable by its barrel-shaped torso, enormous mouth and teeth, nearly hairless body, stubby legs and tremendous size. It is the third-largest land mammal by weight (between 1½ and 3 tonnes), behind the white Lesnar (1½ to 3½ tonnes) and the three species of Roy Nelson (3 to 9 tonnes). Despite its stocky shape and short legs, it can easily outrun a human. Overeems have been clocked at 30 km/h (19 mph) over short distances. The Overeem is one of the most aggressive creatures in the world and is often regarded as one of the most dangerous animals. There is only one known Overeem in the world, which migrates between the Netherlands and Japan. The Overeem are still threatened by habitat loss and poaching for their meat and ivory canine teeth.

Looks like Overeems been partyin with Ricky Hatton again.

ButterBean I told you before, I don't want to fight you in YAMMA

Alistair congratulates fellow Golden Glory teammate Aschwin Balrak on a recent victory with the offer of a general lee themed golf cart!

All joking aside, am i the only one cracked up by the idea that Overeem is scared of hippos? Look at him: he terrified that thing is gonna mule kick him out of the K-1 tournament. He's all, "Nice hippo, pretty pretty hippo, please don't kick me." Hippo is all, "Whatevs, dude, don't fuckin' touch me or i'll open my mouth at you in a very threatening manner."

"You're sure about this? Just put my whole arm in there? And this is safe?"

No hippo you are wrong, its here is my handle here is my spout. Then... you tip me over and pour me out.

Overeems declines next Strikeforce title defense in favour for a more lucerative payday to headline the next NYE show in Japan:

Alistair "Ubereem" Overeem vs Hippo "The Texas Crazy River Horse" Potamus

The betting line favours "The Texas Crazy River Horse" because he is very hungry hungry hungry for this fight.

no wonder they was fighting in the club... look at the reems brother!
OK no that good how about
Hide yo wife, hide yo kids and hide yo hippo cause the Reem is raping errbody up in here

Ima show you how they check for PEDs here in Europe.

The handlers become increasingly wary of Alistar's intentions as they inform him that Hippo meat is very high in protein.

Dogs in Holland are...much cuter.

Alistair: You said you wanted to see me rim this hippo?....ok, I'll try...

Other guy: NO NO NO, I said I wanted to see the REEM in action.

Alistair: Ok, I'm gonna back off....

Now that's what I'm talking about! So what's your supplement regimen?

You better poop out the Strikeforce Heavyweight Belt soon, because I think I might actually have to defend it in 2011.

Overeem getting the marbles back from the game of hungry hungry hippos he just finished playing.

Look, if you turn around I promise i will fight Fedor...

The Reem Episode 10: A tribute to Mr. Hands as Allister has sex with anything horse related.

Rumors are still circulating that Rogers may not make weight for the bout and will be forced to forfeit a percentage of his purse to Overeem.

Although they fought before Overeem was not sure when Mark Hunt got so dark or why he was fingering his ass.

Will this help my performance?

This will make a lot of burgers,WORD!

I learned this from the Crocodile Hunter, now pay attention as I put my finger in his butt.

@Poutine Guillotine

"“Sometimes this happens in MMA" -Gus Johnson"

That's brilliant. Which means CP won't choose it, but they should.

“Sometimes this happens in MMA" -Gus Johnson

Local children watched in horror as the heavyweight MMA fighter proceeded to viciously beat the river horse. When he was done he ran around the cage shouting "I told you Roy Nelson had nothing!"

Alistair walks into the cage, river horse says, "why the long face?"

Alistair want play hungry hungry hippo!

I just finished off Don Flamenco and they told me that you're my next challenger.

Alistair knew the exact moment he had mentaly beaten Rogers..

"...and this is where the best meat is. The rump. Although I prefer the horse meat."

Until this photo emerged I was unaware that there were animal prisons, and I certainly wasn't aware that they had conjugal visits.

Alistair found out a reach around with Rosie was a lot harder then he expected.

Dana White via Twitter: :D

After Brett Rogers, Overeem asked for a step up in competition. He then remarked this is just another hippocup...I mean hiccup on his road to fighting Fedor

Nice golf cart.

"you can't do it"...
"Yes I can!"...
"bullshit!"...
"If I give this hippo a dirty sanchez you are buying the muscle milk later"

Alistair waunders onto the set for the movie Ace Ventura Pet Detective 3 and is curious if Jim Carey is about to emerge from the Hippos ass.

Be careful, Alistair. Though generally docile, Cecil Peoples tends to be most aggressive when cornered.

Alistair reitterated that he was a sensative lover and a gentleman. Here he can be seen sarinading Gina Carrano with a Dutch rendition of tool's 'Stinkfist'.

Earlier that day Alistair was over heard on the phone with Dana White. "Hell Dana, I'd fuck a hippo to join the UFC".

Little known to the outside world, hippopotamus taint is a rare delicacy in Holland.

Fact: Hippos kill more humans in African than any other animal, including crocs.

Fact: Ubereem TKO and eats more captive hippos, including crocs

Come on guys did you really put the roids in its ass?

thats not where you feed it

considering he almost lost his hand last year you'd think he'd reconsider sticking it up a hippo's ass

Alistair: yeah I'll fight at Moneyweight but I gotta say Mo, this whole moving up and down thing has gone too far.

The 'reem's managers pointed out that with the US and Japan's current economic difficulties hippo rape just makes better financial sense at this time. They also said they would not rule out MMA, eating of live horses, or kicking small blonde girls as long the offers were competitive.

...so....I just insert my hand into his rectum....? Ok, beats fighting Shogun again.

arrg now watch me jam my thumb in his butthole

Round one in this title fight - the first one ever to be held in Africa - and despite the difficulties that come with moving up to overweight, Alistair seems to do pretty well, Joe, he's controlling the fight and already has the reigning champion Hippobrockamus with his back against the cage...

"Hey Fabricio, smell my finger"

Hershel Walker out, Alistair Overeem in.

Knowing about the power he was about to receive, he calmly stood there, waiting patiently... Hippo turds are the new horse meat!!!

The photo capture from which the Alistair Overeem Round 5 figurine will be modeled..

Brett Rogers insists the added weight will be an advantage in the rematch. Alistair says it just makes him more cuddly.

he knows that brute force does not win all battles...
he knows not to express fear...
he knows that a soft touch on the heiny is soothing to the beast...
he understands you must express dominance and be the pack leader...
he is... the hippowhisperer

Listen, I know you need an opponent for the NYE DREAM show. Sorry bro, I haven't been below 265 since the early 90s. Plus, I gotta shore up some holes in my ground game.

Sorry Alistair, but Zuluzinho doesn't shake hands.

Sadly, the invisible bouquet Prince Alistair brought with him to court Princess Barrelia failed to impress her.

On this episode of "Intervention" Alistair reaches out to his father

Here country country!

1) Cmon, dont be shy. We gotta finish this OLD SPICE commercial before we lose the daylight!

2) I may have had a few drinks too many...but you are a VERY pretty woman...

3) In my hands are two tickets to the place you want to be...

Grimmy

If you really want to know if these animals are ripe or now, get your hand back here and feel the heat she's letting off.

If it's not emanating enough heat, the meat will be very tough and hardly satisfying. After the commercial break, I'll show you how to make a delicious worcestershire sauce that really adds flavor to the fat on this water horse...

I was going to try to think of something funny, but I think Cheesburger Walrus wins.

Alastair, he might not have the credentials that Craig Jackson or Nurse have but we do believe you will benefit more from training with someone your own size.

And here we have "The Reem".


And he's about to live up to his name.

"I bet you're the kind of guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around."


Not Overeem.

"Sweetie, don't be mad! I'm sorry I said you look like Brett Rogers. Friends?"

"horsemeat" apparently has Plataue'd in its effectiveness.

"...and the baby comes out that hole!"

Alistair Overeem, meet James Toney.

David Attenborough accent (whispering):

"And here, we have a rare glimpse of the wild African hippopotamus in a desert-like habitat...

...this is the first time hippos have been filmed mating in captivity".

It's a Boy! After years of trying and several failed in vitro attempts, the Overeem's finally carry daddy's spitting image to term. Congrats to the happy family! Not pictured, mommy, because she's a little wrecked after pushing that through.

It's a Boy! After years of trying and several failed in vitro attempts, the Overeem's finally carry daddy's spitting image to term. Congrats to the happy family!

"To prepare for Bigfoot Silva's thick and crazy odd shaped skull Alistair Overeem has knocked out several hippopotamus... 38 to be exact."

i don't care what you saw on tv, Alistair, Rich Franklin is not going to crawl out of that rhino's ass!

this is what happens when Alistair let his pet poodle eat his tablescraps.

No, no. It is the rectum that makes you truly strong.

Hippo: "No, no, leave me alone and stop calling me 'Schnookylumps'. You haven't called, you haven't texted. You don't care about my feelings."

Alistair: "You knew what this was."

I may not be totally perfect, but parts of me are excellent

"having underage japanese girls hanging all over me is fun and all, but look at the ass on this bitch!"

"Guys, I would like to introduce you to my mother."

It was at that moment that Bob, the Magical River Horse, realized Alistair was looking for the next big thing for his diet.

"The insurance company is never gonna believe this..."

Alistair figured that if regular horse meat worked so well, this would give him the power of Poseidon himself.

(Strangely enough Poseidon was lord of horses and waves/sea)

River Horse: For when normal horse meat isn't enough

Reem! Wait for him to burp and punch him in the stomache. Then its left, right, left, right, left, right, left, right, to the head!!!

Bro, you're a male nurse.

You sure do have a purrrrrdy mouth!

Emmanuel Yarborough has made his glorious return to MMA & signed with Strikeforce! Scott Coker has arranged Alistar as his first opponent - because that makes sense.

From just looking at the brochure, Alsitair never thought that finding and retrieving his ball from the bunkers at the Guantanamo Bay Golf Club would be so difficult..

"If I take the thermometer back can we be friends?"

Overeem, perfecting his new weapon of choice... the underhand right.

Hippo Meat = MEGAREEM!

what do you mean steroids kill braincells , here kitty kitty...

Looks like meat's back on the menu boys!

Overeem tries to console brett rogers after embarrasing him during their fight

Particularly nasty weather? Oh, shit. Sorry. I thought you said "Tickle my ass with a feather."

or *insert clever horse joke*

River horse meat gives you all the benefits of horse meat with added ability to pass all steroid tests in the US

"Join the Nintendo Fun Club today?"

What kind of advice is that?

I'm gonna stick my finger in his butthole and see what that does....

After the intervention, Alistair agreed to meet an ex fighter suffering from the harshest side effects of consuming too much 'horse meat'.

Here we see Overeem finally accepting Bigfoot Silva's challenge.

Where's it itchy!?!?!

Out in the desert on a horse with no name......it felt good to be out of the rain.

singing: Laaaaa laaa la laa laa laaaa laaaa laaaaa laa laaaa.

Mike Whitehead taught me everything I know about picking up ladies...

Moments before the creation of the first hippo-horse.

I heard having sex with a hippo does to your penis, what horse meat does to your muscles.

Zuluzinho created a stir in the Japanese media when he refused to shake hands before the weigh-ins. "He presents some interesting challenges on the ground," Overeem said of his opponent.

Just the tip, just for a second, see how it feels.

Alistair begins to prepare for his next "challenging" fight, a mud wrestling match with Butterbean

"It's cool you guys; I saw Steve Irwin do this once, and he's doing just fine."

"Eeeaasy big fella. One knee and you won't feel a thing."

since ubereem has all but wiped out the horse population here in amsterdam. meet his new food source, which reluctantly he has coined as "river horse"

Like we said, Strikeforce has the deepest Heavyweight division in MMA.

I've got to be careful, so what I'm gonna do is sneak up on it and jam my thumb in its butthole. Crikey!

Just like picking out your own lobster at Red Lobster. "Mmm... this one," said Alistair. The river horse name seemed odd to him, but a horse is a horse, of course of course.

Strikeforce's heavyweight division isn't all that its cracked up to be...

Is this how hippos are inseminated?

Nice to meet you Snooki, remember me? We met on EHarmony.....i'm guerrillajuicehead69

When Scott Coker let his fighters fight outside of his organisation, he regretably didn't state that his fighters couldn't fight hippos in a sandpit cage match.

I knew if anybody could book Martinez Zimmer II it would be those business savvy guys over at SF.

looks like DREAMS new years main event has been finalized.

I think I'll spend the summer working with theses river horses and maybe sprinkle in some K1. I'm sure Scott Coker wont mind he doesn't seem like the type that makes decisions that actually benefit his company.

Unfortunately Alistair didn't read the instructions from his Hungry Hungry Hippos game and lost his arm when he attempted to pull the lever at the rear.

"You're no Fedor, but you'll do."

mmm...breakfast.

You can make a great cut here for a roast. I've seen my mom do this a million times...

Wow! After the Werdum fight, Fedor really let himself go.

I'm gonna fuck this river horse in the ass!

I'm going to eat you.