I am 1 hour away from Philly and could make it.
Josh: Why did you have to do that to me I don't understand
Fedor: You like battered woman in Russia.... you don't listen... when I say no cheese on burger I mean it now go get me a Vodka & tonic and tell that lady to stop tossing your salad

A typical example of recurrent spousal abuse in the homosexual community - the victim on the left is unwilling to testify against his gay lover. The perpetrator on the right remains indifferent and unrepentant, and has been heard uttering the following threat, "Interrupt me when I'm at the playground again and I'll break your other testicle with the sledgehammer."

(Phuck Philly, I'm in Canada, eh :)

Pictured on the left, a hardcore steroid abuser. Note the unfavourable temperament, as well as massive acne and blemishes on the face, both characteristic signs of elevated androgens in the body.
On the right, a healthy, steroid-free male. Note the happy carefree disposure and lack of acne despite a daily diet of ice cream cones.


(Phuck Philly, I'm in Canada :)

This photo was taken immediately after they made a side bet to see who could be remembered as the biggest douchtard in MMA. Winner gets... An ice cream cone!

Oh yeah I live in NJ just a short drive away.

.

"Ok Fedor, we are gonna need You to smile more, yeah like that, biiig smile."

"And Josh, it's just not working for us, can You make a face like You're holding in a huge shit?"

"No, no. A HUUGE shit!"

"Perfect!! Now don't move!"

"Saaay ice cream and steroids!"

NYC

or.

"Shaken Babyface Syndrome"

AIDSinator meet Terminator.

near philly.

Got my shitty leather jacket? Check.
Got my own actual Affliction shirt on, the one that says my name on it? Check.
Got my friend here who I can't even talk to? Check.
Got fucked up shit all over my face? Oh yeah.
I'm Frankenstein? Check.

Brooklyn, 2 1/2 hours away. NBD.

Fedor:-WTF happened to you!!???
Josh Barnett quietly:-well i was training with Aleksander to try and get a edge but all i got was this rash and a bad piss test!
Guy on the rights mind:-that mother fucker there look like he got swine flu..fuck look away b4 he comes over

New Spokesman for Proactiv didn't completely read the label for banned substances

(I'm in Baltimore)

Fedor: Josh...Is your Herpes flaring up?

Josh: Yeah I forgot to take my Valtrex

The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.
The second rule of Fight Club is... YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB.

(I will find a way to get to Philly.)

P.S.
Still waiting on the Sityodtong t-shirt I won and a replacement for the tickets to Radio City Hall I won and never received.

JOSH U FOOL!!! I said let's fight...IN AFFLICTION!!!....not...AN AFFLICTION!!!

ready to fly.....flapping wings now
btw..Aug. 8th is our 17th wedding anniversary
(Wife watches every event with me!!)

Caption: With Hollywood aspirations and the need for a career change, Josh and Fedor send in their audition footage for the upcoming sequel "I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU CHUCK AND LARRY 2 - THE BATTERED YEARS".

Live East Coast - Tentative flight plans arranged

This picture was taken just before Barnett wispered in Fedor's ear:

"..its funny, the steroids actually DO make you scratch despite the rumors... They actually make you scratch WORSE than heroin! Can you believe that?!? CHEEESE!

...If picked, I would easily make the trip, one hour outside Philly!

Peer Pressure: Fedor couldn't help but chuckle when his buddy Josh started doing stevia to get in good with Dan Quinn.

Fedor : Sorry about the rug burn. I know it got a little crazy last night.

45 mins outside Philly. Go Forrest!

Fedor : Sorry about the rug burn. I know it got a little crazy last night.

Barnett forgot he was allergic to fighters with douchebag managers.

Note- very close to philly, an hour drive

Fedor to Josh's face: Even my Hot Spermy Loads hit hard enough to leave a mark!

I live 10 min outside Philly.

Barnett Stalker Girl (on bottom left): Ok Fedor, you distract him and I'm gonna bend over and smell his ass!!
Fedor: Uhhh ok.

I can go!

Barnett: Hey Fedor.....I was walking past your hotel room last night and heard you and Vadim "co-promoting" that slut you guys were with!

I can go!

Barnett: Hey Fedor.....I was walking past your hotel room last night and heard you and Vadim "co-promoting" that slut you guys were with!

Barnett: Hey man.. I heard the UFC offered you a shitload of money and Vadim turned it down
Fedor: The UFC tried to fuck me. There was not one mention of ice cream cones in that contract.

By merely hugging Fedor is like going 5 round with any other Heavyweight in the world!

I can go!

Wanted for the murder of Affliction. Suspects are believed to be armed with performance-enhancing drugs and unrealistic contract demands.

And that's how Josh found out that freebasing steroids can lead to severe burns.

In Soviet Russia, pimple pops you.

After the sudden outbreak, Josh learned that he was allergic to greatness.

While Fedor's credentials from the Russian beauty school seemed in order, Josh discovered too late that vodka makes a terrible exfoliant.

"A professional wrestler on steroids can get a shot at a world MMA title? What a country!"

Like Tim Sylvia, Josh decided he could jump-start his career with a move to professional boxing. Unfortunately, his first opponent was Tommy Morrison.

"When you're finished squeezing the ones on my shoulder, would you mind moving on to my face?"

Not pictured: Tom Atencio crying and sucking his thumb while curled up in the fetal position.

Josh called the match a "trial by fire," then went on to take the statement a little too seriously.

One chance embrace ended with a night of experimentation and forbidden passion that Josh and Fedor would never forget.

"I know it was you who tested positive, Josh. You broke my heart. You broke my heart."

Revealed: Fedor's secret ritual for hand-picking his opponents -- embracing them and marking them with an Indian burn on the face.

"Don't worry. It's cool. I broke out after sharing a needle with my posse of Haitian prostitutes. I'm sure it will clear up soon."

One went on to Strikeforce. The other put on a mask and called himself the Phantom of the Honda Center.

*****

In Philly and embarrassed to get called out for trying to use pity to win tickets. Sorry for the desperation.

Hey at least you didn't test positive for hepatitis B like my brother Aleks.

Former Heavyweight Champion Michael Moorer decides that, maybe, he'd rather not live in a world where a syphilitic can publicly show a special-needs child how to give a cameraman a handjob.

~Fearing that japanese fight promoters may require stricter drug testing policies after his recent positive test results, Barnett comes to the conclusion that leaving his Valtrex prescription at home may not have been the best idea for a "clean start".~

or..

~Hearing he would be invited to next weeks taping of "Celebrity Jeopardy" Barnett does not hesitate in injecting MENSA member semen directly into his head, thus avoiding any accidental ingestion~

or..

~There was laughter all around, but nobody had the heart to tell Fedor that he was in fact -not- posing for a photo with Brian Bosworth~

SEND ASTROGLYDE PLZ

The "rabies faced assassin" thought he'd bring some substance to a dying affliction. NEEDLEless to say the only submission with these two is this dumb picture. Later that evening they had some Hong Man Choi at a local bar. it was quite a tall order.

And here's me with the acne-faced assassin

Haha I love how everyone is trying to use pitty on their side..not a caption I have already submitted a few just reading over some of em and noticed people throwing out their side

""so hows taste my pee-pee-pees"

Live in PA 1 hr away

"Wonder Douche Powers, activate! Shape of an abuser of performance-enhancing drugs who singlehandedly brought down an MMA promotion! Form of a religious kook with no respect for his fans and no concern for his legacy!"

Josh was surprised that the old "yawn, stretch, put arm over shoulder, grab breast" technique worked surprisingly well on Fedor.

Even Josh's Freddy Krueger mask failed to intimidate Fedor.

"Josh, why you seem so tense and angry, my friend? It almost as if your body is filled with a substance that causes an unexplainable rage."

*****

In Philly. Big fan. Frequent contributor. Surgery soon. Please?

(prepping for photo-ops)
Josh: "We sooo look much more better than that Caption Contest pic last month with Brock Lesnar & Tim Sylvia."
Fedor: "Who is this Brock Lesnar? Will he buy Fedor ice cream?"
Josh: "....."
Josh: "Just grin, Fedor."

When putting on the leather jacket Josh had no idea that in russia the feud between the sociaes and the greasers still raged

"I'm telling you, Fedor, even if Affliction folds, we will end up as stars in the UFC. If I'm wrong, may I be cursed with the sixth plague that God imposed upon Egypt in the Old Testament."

When Fedor gets his hands you, it can completely change the complexion of a match.

Josh was certain that the voice-mail message had instructed him to prepare for a photo shoot showcasing skin afflictions.

Fedor celebrated the end of Affliction's MMA promotion by dropping 250 unwanted pounds.

Body by steroids. Face by pizza.

"Tell me the truth. Does this jacket accentuate my pimples?"

"I'm glad you could make my Proactiv party, Josh. We'll start with a renewing cleanser, follow with a revitalizing toner, and top it off with a repairing lotion. I will then punch you, slam you, and choke you. I take checks and credit cards."

Fedor smiled politely when Josh asked, "Do I have something on my face?"

*****

Again, I'm in Philly. I already begged in my previous post.

Not willing to dissapoint the Bens or let their Cage Potato tickets go to waste the two had a great time at UFC 100 tho Josh got the worst of it when they were "escorted" out.

Fedor says "If you don't give TysonMcneely the UFC 101 tickets, I'll curse you with face herpes as well."
I'd listen to the man...


I'm in MA and I train with John Howard (Doomsday). Hell yeah I'd drive down.

*already have a plane ticket booked to stay with my brother in Philly this weekend and plan on going to the weigh-ins

"An additional side-effect of the PED's is a physical reaction to those who follow insanely bad advice."

This is my buddy fedor wanna try that shit again?

Everythings cool. theres no way you could of known that was Aleks favorite hooker.

FUCK 831 son......
I can't make it to UFC 101 I plan on watching it on TV.
I dont have a caption, I just wanted to say fuck 831 son, cause he is a pussy doughbag from Cali who needs to die.
Holla back if you give a shit :)

oh in case I forgot:
hey 831 son....FUCK YOU!

JB: Hey bro, any chance you can hook me up with a job over at M-1?

FE: Sure thing, but only if you let me check out your balls again. Those little things crack me up every time.


Have two frequent flier tickets burning a hole in my pocket. Looks like there is all kinds of available seats from Phoenix to Philly.

Barnett doing his best Affliction impersonation.

This ones for nothin: What does Josh barnett do when he first gets out of the battered wives clinic? The dishes if he knows whats good for him!!!

and i can get there ...live 1 hour away

(whispering during photo-ops)
Fedor: "So you try new cream to help heal this so-called 'babyface', yes?"
Josh: "Yeah, but I have to tell ya, man, my face has this mean reaction. By the way, why'd you have Putin hand deliver it to me? And why is it called the Litvinenko Special?"
Fedor: "You must talk to Finkelchtein... he recommends it. He and Putin play topless miniature golf together on weekends."

Josh Barnett thought he had outsmarted everyone by using the fierce Russian as a decoy while his "trainer" prepared to inject him with horse tranquilizers. Sadly, the man pictured far right was in the employ of the Fertittas and was about to make the call that would earn him Employee of the Month.

Sorry Josh you know how Aleks gets at these things, couple a beers and a few hookers and suddenly hes looking for someone to fight.

Fedor celverly pranks Barnett by making him grapple with his herpes riddled brother Aleks

Nobody had the heart to tell Fedor this wasn't really the Terminator.

I see Fedor took the quote "It's not gay if you beat them up afterwards" serious...

I can make it to UFC 101

The two main characters of Tom Attencio's suicide note

(live in north jersey...2 hours away)

ok so i have two:

Fedor to Dana White: "Keep talking about how i turned the Ufc down and I will make your face look like his too!"

What should be Josh's new fighter nickname: The Anthrax-Rash or Pleather jacket man bitch...you decide!

i live 10 min. away from the wachovia center in philly, but i am a 22 year old recent college grad about to loose her school health insurance. aka i am broke and an adult now. free tickets would sure make me happy and i would have no problem getting there/

Backstreet Boys fans are now saddened to see what their beloved Nick Carter has become.

I thought you said you put my sun screen on evenly?!?!?

I'll get to Philly

Barnett: Fedor, did you happen to buy a copy of Beautiful Katamari?
Fedor: Yeah I did
Barnett: How'd you like it?
Fedor: Well it seems your character was never able to beat the CSAC level at the end so i got rid of it and watched No Rules with Frank Shamrock.

Let me start off by saying: I live 40 minutes from Philly and drive there easily. I was just there last weekend. Now for my brilliant caption...

"Was I in a fight? Nah, I think these are from the rug...it happens every time me and Fedor slam vodka together."

Operation 'Let's get hated by the entire mma universe' step 2 completed. Now back to my pad to watch Coming to America... The alter kaker in the barbershop reminds me of Vadim's moyl!

in New Jersey

Fedor: "I don't know why they want us to fight Babyface, I wish there was someway out of this. After this shoot, speak to the homey on my left he'll hook you up"

Barnett: (red in the face) "You're the best friend a guy could ever ask for ... screw these people and their obsession to make this sport reputable."


Note: I live right across the border from Philly in NJ and can be their in a heartbeat.

Pinochle first timers 'Roids' and 'Reds' embark on mission to save endangered mma organizations

New Jersey

The Rash and the Russian, a story of Affliction.


Live in Philly!!!

"What am I doing next to the runner-up of 'Daisy of Love'?" - Fedor

I live in Philly!

"What am I doing next to the runner-up of 'Daisy of Love'?" - Fedor

"The Odd Couple to renew on TV starring 'My Face and Your Ass'"

in New Jersey

Barnett: Sorry, bro. I'd rather tell everyone I tested positive for steroids than admit it was Herpes.

I live in NYC and have a car.

Photo at MMA Business Seminar taught by Sean Sherk.


Philly

(Posing for the REMAINING MEN TOGETHER conference holiday card, Fedor narrates):
Fedor the Narrator: [Voiceover] "This is Josh... Josh had bitch tits."
Josh: "We're still men."
Fedor the Narrator: [Voiceover] "He developed bitch tits because his testosterone was too high and his body upped the estrogen... including on his face. And that is where I fit in..."

....His name was Josh Barnett.

Hey Fedor, I was hangin out with your brother and then the next day I woke up with this weird rash, he swears he's clean though. You think Anderson Silva can give something to clear it up by our fight?

Logan is a neighborhood in philly, I live there and am dying to go but don't have any money for tickets. I'm begging you Ben's!!!

Josh Barnett giddy at the thought of taking a shot in the jaw from Fedor.

Another match.com success story: "Josh and I bonded over our shared enthusiasm for love handles and Affliction t-shirts," says Fedor E., right. "We've been very close for years now and never once fought."

PUMPED in Philly!

"Josh, I have better idea than I kill you in ring. Instead, I have plan destroy Affliction, make Dana crazy again, help Strikeforce and give M-1 much money for no do nothing. It all take 2 weeks most. NO...we no look couple of stupid assholes in end!"

I live in NY and have transport...amgent@gmail.com

The roles are reversed! Fedor is giddy for avenging his comrades from Rocky IV from the steroid popping capitalist. Go commies!

-------------------------------------------------------

NYC in the house... got more in the bag. Brb.

Welcome to Strikeforce.

Last known picture of Josh Barnett. A missing persons report was filed when Josh failed to make his yearly Comic-Con appearance. Police questions to Fedor Emelianenko and M-1 Global were met with poorly used American sayings and an attempt to negotiate a co-promotion.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------Baltimore.

Fedor and his training partner, Drago from Rocky IV.

Philly

Russian MMA fighter Fedor holds the Elephant Man upright, preventing him from tragically dying in his sleep.

My bags are packed and in the mini-van. My life is sad.

"Your worst enemy, he reflected, was your nervous system. At any moment the tension inside you was liable to translate itself into some visible symptom."

Out here in the OC so... yeeaahhh....

Thanks to the Make-a-Wish Foundation, Rocky Dennis meets his favorite fighter. It's like sunshine on his face!!!

You bet your sweet ass I'll be in Philly.

"Here's to a life of fighting nobodies for no money!"

- living in Philly!

"My can't believe my meeting Sloth from Goonies!"

Damn right I'll be in Philly.

Just one of many nights that Barnett would duck Fedor.

Seen above: Barnett's personal nurse prepping the injection site.

...and I'm not even close (with the quality of my comment and my geographic location).

Acutane is one hell of a drug.

"Zis jacket, it make from my sack-skin, no?"

Will be on vacation in Philly!!!!

Steroid-induced acne support group, because they are people too.

In Philly

Well if you read cagepotato.com at least once, you would have understood why you should not have sparred with my brother.

-Not gonna be in the area. Wah!

josh:my face feels like my reputation
fedor:sal;fhas;dfh;lkhfafh(translation) your reputation was never that good.

Barnett: Look, im sorry disney made that hockey movie about the 1980 olympics

ABOVE: Barnett & Emelianenko at a costume party benefit for the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation. Fedor, clad in an Affliction t-shirt, showed up as a Dumb American Douchebag. Barnett came dressed as What Happened to the Affliction Promotion Itself After He Failed His Drug Test.

Fedor: "For just pennies a day your support can provide shelter, a hot meal and wholesome entertainment in a drug-free environment for an abused and disillusioned man just like my friend Josh here. Won't you please help?"

(live near Philly)

Standing next to Josh Barnett makes me look credible.

Friendship
Because big, goofy looking white guys need love too.

( Live near Philly)

Affliction Banned: The Josh Barnett Story


In philly

Affliction Banned: The Josh Barnett Story

Barnett: Well Hitomi got it from cyborg so you may wanna watch out.
Fedor: Don't worry I don't think you can give it to me.
-------------
I'm from Virgina and can drive up to philly easy woo!

Affliction: Great shirts don't make great fights, but they make good pictures.



Living in Philly

Zombie Josh returns fresh from his death by stoning.

Fun fact: zombies don't bite Fedor, Fedor dares them not to embrace his childlike wonder.



Philly foo shoo

In Soviet Russia, Steriod Takes You

Josh when trying to explain his positive test: "Due to a serious case of acne, I was using a large amount of a legally prescribed steroid based cream.. That MUST be the reason for the false positive."

live in philly

"MMA heavyweights Josh Barnett and Fedor Emelianenko.

They're big in Japan."

-AndrewNYC

Even though Fedor was the first to forgive him, Josh Barnett literally beat himself up over the Affliction cancellation.

*

unfortunately, i live too far away to get to 101.

After a press conference promoting his upcoming Affliction Trilogy battle with Fedor Emelianenko, Josh Barnett was feeling down about himself. He went outside, got down on his knees and looked up to the polluted L.A. sky.
He prayed: "Fist of the North Star, I no longer want to be known as the 'Baby-faced Assassin'.... I want to have an even cooler nickname: the 'Man-Faced Assassin'!" POOF! His face turned to a wrinkled, bruised mass, reminiscent of David Carradine after tying a shoestring around his penis in a Bankok hotel.
Amazed, he decided to offer up a second wish: "Almighty Fist of the North Star, I want to wear the coolest clothes in the world so everyone will like me and know I'm tough." POOF! He looked down and had on brand new Affliction clothes covered with snake, dragon, sword, cross and wing patterns that were not even available at Buckle.
Still wanting more, Josh asked a final request: "Oh powerful, generous Fist of the North Star, I want to be the strongest man in the world, capable of beating anyone." And POOF! A vial and syringe falls from the sky, and Josh wastes no time injecting it into his flabby, boyish buttocks.
Feeling cool, calm and confident as ever, we walks back to the press conference and takes this picture with Fedor - knowing he would beat him on August 1st....
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I (unfortunately) live in Ohio, and would love to make the drive to my neighbor to the east!

After running into a gang of over tanned, Affliction wearing, juiced up Guidos, Barnett says "Hey guys Bada Bing!" Looks like they fist pumped a little too hard.

In NJ, 45 mins away, go Forrest

After making Fedor lose his last paycheck, and recently taken an ass whoopin by the russian mafia, Josh knows that the squeezing of his shoulder means, "just smile and say you fell, and everythings cool".

"You is Richard Pryor, Vadim is Honeymooner man and I is little boy. Just like American movie, the Toy, yes?"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Baltimore.

Emil Blonsky: Well, I want that. I need that. Make me that.
Samuel Sterns: I don't know what you've got inside you already. The mix could be an abomination.

This is an Incredible Hulk reference,
pessimism aside - I would be able to geographically make it to the event in philadelphia.

Picture was taken before Fedor Emelianenko's treating Josh Barnett to some R & R at the Russian steam baths. Not shown: Josh Barnett found naked and stabbed.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Baltimore.

Josh Barnett announced that he signed a lifetime contract with Condom Depot's rival sponsor, Herpes. (I live in Philly)

As part of the new Strikeforce/M1 Co-promotion, Fedor gets supervised visits with Josh Barnett every other weekend.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Not having surgery and its not my birthday. Baltimore (1.5 hours away)

"Do I have something in my face?..... Damn it"

I'm from Delaware so i'm very close

"Well man, I guess the UFC is gonna take the shirts right off of our backs ..."

I live in Philly!

Who would have thought that two weeks later Fedor would be the bigger bitch of the MMA world... nice work Josh.

"You're supposed to stick the needle where?"

WOW! We almost had to fight. Good thing I took those steroids. I LOVE YOU MAN!!!!!! Plus I didn't like Affliction that much anyway. I live in NY, I can make the fight.

"...That's right juicer; keep smiling for the camera...
And remember-you fell down the stairs..."

I am eligible by the way. I'll drive from Cincy.
--------------------------------------------------------------
After Shayna Baszler reviewed her last match-up, she was none to pleased with Barnett's "coaching".

What ensued forced Fedor to bury the hatchet.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Fedor has deep sympathy for a victim of Skidrow... That's where he frequently picks up his brother.

Following his Affliction steroid debacle, Josh hit rock bottom. Only an Intervention by Fedor (co-promoted by M1 Global) could get Barnett to leave the seedy world of underground MMA pussycat fights.

Soooo.....what’s my cut again for getting the ball rolling for M-1 Globals expertly planned and eventual world domination?

*20 minutes from Philly

I can 100% make it to Philly!!!! Live in Pittsburgh with transportation!!!

"God, please dont let him find out that the fight is cancelled"

Caption: The UFC Convention is very similar to the more traditional Star Wars Convention, only the participants dress up as UFC figures. On the left, we have a big bag o deuche which is assumed to be a Dana White referrence... And on the right, we have a foreigner that is actually dressed as Dana White while repeating the words, "eeetz ah sveterrr!"


PS: I'll be in Texas this weekend! But it was fun playing... Mota!!!

Sooooooooo......Whut's your brother up ta?

h

Fedor: I warned you once - its medium fuckin rare...I hate you for making me do this to you...



Bens - I now understand why cokeheads have no problem saying "I will litterally suck your dick for coke." I thought they were strung out, now I understand that I simply have never wanted anything that badly....Not that I actually would - but i mean if it helps my chances....you know what i'm saying...uggghhh awkward.

I live in CT its like 2 hours...please give me the childhood my father robbed from me when he walked out...pretty please

Heavyweights - They Don't Care About Your P4P Rankings

Fedor : Josh, you know I was kidding when I said I roll with bears.

Josh : .....


(NJ, 45 mins away, dying to go)

Fedor vs Barnett - Coming to a Worked Japanese Promotion Near You

Live in Pittsburgh, PA. I would walk if I couldnt get a ride to Philly!! Just kidding. I got transportation, 100% sure.

"Don't worry my American friend, here at M-1 Global we have great 'doctors' and great staff, just ask Aleks."

Fedor : "Hey Josh..umm...did my brother sit on your face last night?"

Located in Central Jersey. Definitely able to attend.

"You see Kids. Look at my face. This is what happens you don't do steroids."

-------------------------------
Of course I'll fly Philly. Anderson Silva owes me for Montreal

Fedor's "Last Emperor" T-shirt was a big seller for Affliction. Josh's "Scabby-Face" assassin T-shirt? Not so much.

Once Fedor touched Josh, half of Barnett automatically became property of M-1. Unfortunately, they decided to take their 50% out of his face.

Side effects of steroid abuse include acne, dressing like a douche bag, and an uncontrollable urge to hug Russians.

Fedor shows how much damage a Vulcan nerve pinch can do, when performed properly.

"It's hard to smile when a woman is injecting 'roids into your ass."

Having learned his lesson after kissing Aleks, Josh decided a hug for Fedor was sufficient.

The camera adds 10 pounds. And rosacea.

Revealed: Barnett's greasing strategy for beating Fedor.

*****

OK. Here's the deal. I'm in Philly. I'm fairly consistent in my submissions for caption contests. And I'm getting neck surgery next Wednesday. Do me a favor and just pick one of my lousy submissions. I promise I will push fools out of the way to get my cagepotato.com T-shirt on camera at the PPV.

Todd Beard wasn't too happy when he found out about Josh Barnett's run-in with the CSAC...

Josh and Fedor - Keeping the World Safe from Hong Man Choi

Acne...check.

Protruding, Cro-Magnon brow...check.

And a pair of insignificant nuts...the steroid trifecta.

Josh Barnett has decided to forgo MMA in favor of his burgeoning career in japanese professional wrestling as "Herpes Man". Fedor is still unsure whether he will also make the jump as Barnett's nemesis "Dr. Valtrex".


I live in NY so Philly is a very quick trip to make for me

Josh hoping to bounce back once lost to fedors brother via a junk2face lock.


I'll drive to Philly... in case somebody much funnier than me wins and wants to give me the tickets.

It was a tie at the Affliction costume party for best Shrek costume.

In Ohio, drive to Philly weekly.

Fedor: What i tell you Josh Kissing Aleks open wounds does not make him better. We should maybe take you for blood test.

It was Crocop.


(No, I can't go to Philly. But mention me anyways because I'm awesome.)

In his last desperate attempt to get Fedor to forgive him, Josh tries to entertain the Last Emperor with his best Mikhail Gorbachev impression.

*In NYC

Barnett: "We're like Bono and The Edge. We're like Steven Tyler and Joe Perry. We're like Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley. We're like..."

Fedor: "Eh, how do you say....Beavis & Butthead?"

Barnett: Close enough.

(P.S. - I'm in Jersey.)

After Fedor drank a bottle of Stolichnaya...it's a love/hate relationship.

Fedor and Barnett posing for Halmark's new line of "I'm sorry" cards for gay men who beat their partners.

can't make it to philly

World Victory Road Director Takahiro Kokuho of Sengoku secretly agreed to ignore Josh's steroid tests in the future, but only if he performed privately for 3 hours as Josh "The Ass-Faced Baby" Barnett. As a fan of simple comedy, Fedor stood among the cackling Yakuza to watch Josh blindly crawl backwards and inevitably develop a case of diaper rash.

Fedor will forever find it funny, but he will never tell. It is the way of The Last Emperor.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I live in Philly! Also, just because Fedor and Takahiro found this funny doesn't mean I'm as immature or twisted as they are.

camera man: say cheese...actually wait... say ''I am going to single handedly kill affliction with a positive drug test''

Fedor's sister looks remarkably like Josh barnett...

In a drug-free world, this would be Fedor carrying around a deceased Josh Barnett after their fight, a la "Weekend at Bernies".


Will be in Philly.

Camera man: ''Okay now pretend to like eachother'' ... ''okay hold still''
..................''okay now say... sterroids!'' *flash*

"What's that? Oh, he fell down the steps. He's so clumsy, I just don't know what to do with him sometimes. Isn't that right Joshy? Now hurry up and take the damn picture, I hear a double scoop waffle cone calling my name."

Can't make it to Philly

"Fedor and Barnett reconcile after an incident where Barnett put his testicles on Fedor's drum set. Picture taken after both agreed that they would both certainly bang John Stamos."

Hey Barnett, next time Fedor asks if you want a Hertz donut, say no.

Will be in NJ/Philly!!!!

Exhibit A - Josh Barnett's face lookin' like Roger Clemens' ass in 1998!


I will be in Philly, lookin' for tix.....

Ain't no party like a Fedor house party!

Apparently the internet has been horribly misleading me with regards to how hot Russian chicks are. That is one ugly bitch. I'd expect more from Fedor.

Will be there. I'll enter this 50 times!!!

Preparations continue for the opening of Madame Tussaud's MMA wing, coming soon to Las Vegas.

I can go. Don't make me hang out with my mother-in-law.

The night Josh Barnett finally asked Fedor if he could "pitch" for once wasnt pretty, but they still remained good friends afterwards.

Dream Company Picnic (New Years 2010)

With nothing but a Rocky Road ahead, and having just had his face pounded into Cookie Dough by M1 mafia thugs hopped up on Rum Raisin, Barnett comes to the realization that the world is Fedor's ice cream dream but his cold reality.

* I can make the show. Live in NJ, 20 minutes from the arena.

"Hey, don't take this the wrong way, but can I borrow a cup of pee? Lyoto gave me some, but I drank it."

Damn it I forgot to mention, I can definately make it to Philly, live in OH.

Not the face.

I thought the needles got stuck in your ass for steroids.

Josh: Just because I didn't hear it, doesn't mean I don't know it was you. Goddamn son! Whatcha been eating 2 shit flavored cones for breakfast again?! Your insides are dead Fedor, I even broke out into this rash on my face!

Josh: Acne?? ... What acne? Hey Fedor, why didn't you tell me this shit would give me acne!!
Fedor: I was only going to use that stuff if I fought in the UFC, needed the edge for that... ah screw it you can keep it for your Professional Wrestling event coming up!

Fedor: "Josh you are such a pussy"

Josh: "Speaking of pussy's steer clear of that chick next to me...her herpes gave my face chlamydia"

I will fly

Fedor to Barnett: Dude I didn't know my brother was going to rub his dick on your face while you were passed out!

(I live two hours from Philly)

With growing horror, Josh suddenly realized that his dick was now only slightly larger than Fedor's left pinky.

stolen from T2:

JB: We're not gonna make it, are we? People, I mean.
FE: It's in your nature to destroy yourselves.
JB: Yeah. Major drag, huh?

"It's never a good idea to disappoint Fedor. As you can clearly see, he'll make your face resemble a Vietnamese hooker's va-jj"

(In NY, right next door!)

Not only did Josh Barnett test positive for steroids but he also missed weight by ounces due to the effects of steroids shrinking his penis.

I'm within driving distance of UFC 101 may I add ; )

"Fedor and Barnett together at the unveiling of Affliction's new shirt designed to holster enormous man boobies."

Barnett: "Sometimes I think we endure all this physical and mental punishment merely to distract ourselves from the monotony and meaninglessness of human existence"

Fedor: "Mmmm...ice cream"


ps. I live in Philly

Barnett after the photo was taken: "i think i walked in during the filiming of fedors new hardcore porn movie in japan."

FE: So did you take those steroids?

JB: Did you take the UFC contract?

NYC Resident :)

Barnett: "Longest 'seven minutes in heaven' EVER."

'This entry cannot win because I can't get to philly this weekend'

Fedor: "What happen?"

Barnett: "Belfort, Sobral, Hieron and others got a little physical with me over the trilogy cancellation, what are you smilling about?"

Fedor: "I fucked Dana and UFC"

Live in NYC, can make it to Philly in a heartbeat

Josh:"Hey Fedor you can't see my boobs through this jacket can you?"

Friends Dont Let Friends Fight on Roids!!!!!

This Caption is sponsored by StrikeForce/M-1 Global. LOL

NYC resident :)

As "the ugly" stood off to the right, "the good" and "the bad" posed for a quick picture.

I can't make it to Philly, but hey ben, how about a t-shirt for the best of the guys that couldn't make the trip.

Fedor: Josh,what happened to your face?

Josh: Oh its nothin. Mr Miyagi got mad at me because I thought he said "wax on, wax off", when he actually said "Cycle on, Cycle off"

This is gay.

"I'm glad Fedor paid the ransom."

or

"Wait, you think this is all my fault?"

or

"All roids and no fight makes Barney a very sad man!"

Ah, so this must be what the 'Affliction" really is....Herpes!

"Fedor Emelienenko consoles Josh Barnett backstage after his brutal stoppage loss to Jose Canseco at YAMMA Pitfighting II."

Definitely willing and able to go to Philly this weekend.

"Listen you all. I am letting everybody know that I am gay and this is my lover Fedor. All these hickies on my face proves how much Fedor loves me. He is my russian teddy bear."


(my birthday is Aug. 8 and I will be in Atlantic City friday night for the whole weekend. My brother lives 20 min away from Wachovia Center.)

fedor: for the last time josh.... no means no, i do not want to watch anime...

JB: .....but its hentai.....

Fedor: You have bumps on face
JB: Those are muscles, fat boy

*PA I will be in Philly*

LOL! @ Perdew.

Good shit sir!

apparently both Fedor and Barnett made out with Aleksander....

Fe: I could do this first round! Steroids or not!
Ba: ...

Edit: Will be near Philly.

Fe: ok, so according to my contract, m1 is responsible for half of this beating and will collect on the ppv buys

* about 35 minutes outside of philly...and I would kill to go

"I swear to God, if this comes back as Hepatitis, Aleks and I are going to fight.....in California."


(I can be there)

Fedor: Now if they ask, you tell them you fell down stairs, yes..

In communist Russia Steroid inject you.

On Long Island, can drive to philly

fedor didn't appreciate josh's "aleks mob tat jacket" very much

i live in philly. i can make it.

fedor: I'm the greatest fighter hear me roar
balls so big they touch the floor. double fisting ice cream cones after snappin forearm bones.

barnet: face full of open soars
my balls tinier than yours
Now affliction closed their doors cus I shoot needles in my droors

Hugs not Drugs.

(I tried to delete this post but the damn things hates me. And I cannot find a delete function.)

Josh I'm sorry...I though Aleks had Hep B not herpes....

Maybe if I rub the steriods directly into my skin...those CSAC sons-of-bitchs won't detect them.

Hugs Not Drugs. Or Drugs and then Hugs. Or Hugging While Drugging. No wait, oh shit- how does that go now... Eh, fuggit. Who wants to stop at Taco Bell- I'm starving!?!

"Fuck. Why did I agree to that slap fight?"

Fedor: "And here I thought I was the only one allergic to competition."

In DE, could definitely make it

I just made you a ton of money Fedor. Least you could do is let me getting a picture.

15 minutes from Philly

Fedor: "We make sweet love tonight!"
Josh: "Dude I may look gay, but I don't swing that way."
(Fedor takes Josh to back room)
(They come back from back room)
(Fedor whispers into Josh's ear, ever so gently)
Fedor: "And now we pose for the camera."

Willing to make it to philly.

This is an artist's rendition of what the post-fight press conference would have looked like had the event gone on as planned.

* live in NY, will go to Philly

"Oh this? It's nothing. I tripped on the stairs after I was done hanging with my bros Rothwell, Santiago, and Babalu. They should get that thing fixed. Somebody could get real hurt."

Fedor: I look more like Tom Hanks in Philadelphia!
Barnett: No, I look more like Tom Hanks in Philadelphia!

* Live in NY, will most definetly go to Philly if I win.

"Bro, I totally failed that drug test on purpose. Nothing can come in the way of our friendship -- not a T-shirt company, not the careers of other fighters, not my dignity -- nothing. What's that? Of course I'll go check out that Harry Potter flick with you! I've been dying to check it out. Haha, we totally think the same!"

* I love in New York and could definitely make it to Philly.

What? Me? You want the guy who did the drugs? That's this guy, right here -- the skinhead with the smirk. No, he doesn't speak English too good anymore.

P.S. I live on the West Coast, so you can give your smelly tickets to some other loser.

All is forgiven, now we go fishing Fredo.

IRISHLOBO Says:
Wed, 08/05/2009 - 13:00
Fedor: Just squeeze, Josh. The young lady is almost done removing your reputation from your ass.
___________________________

Hey, you've managed to make a joke not involving steroids! And it's actually funny! BRAVO!

P.S. To those saying "I LIVE IN PHILLY GIMME TIX!!!11!"....Try saying something funny. Just saying...

Barnett "Uh-oh comrad!! I feel a 'roid rage comin' on......errr.....uhhh...I mean a normally occuring non-banned substance induced rage coming on.

Unable to successfully grow mullets, Fedor and Josh produce the same effect via Affliction t-shirts

Fedor is overjoyed at Universal Studios to be photographed with "Marv" from Sin City.

Fedor: (in his little baby voice)
"ahh ha i got a job now and youuuuu don't"

Barnett:
Oh Yeah, well i got a call from the WWF

Fedor:
don't you mean the WWE

Barnett:
No, I mean the WWF, they found me a job cleaning monkey dung, So! ahh ha i got a job now too....And don't mind this red ish, i touched my face after handling a lil Schletka... hehehe

The brother in the back:
I knew i seen him cleaning ish up at the zoo with a singlet on....






30 minutes from Philly...

Josh still couldn't figure how that ONLY in Mother Russia, "Steroids test positive for Fedor."

Yes I can be in Philly in heartbeat. (NYC)

Josh Barnett learned the hard way that Fedor is the Medusa of MMA, by simply gazing upon him your face becomes bruised and bloodied.

Fedor and Josh take a photo shortly after Fedor signed with Strikeforce, soon after Josh whispered into Fedors ear asked him how many failed promotions has he been in, Fedor replied asking how many drug tests he has failed.

Live in NYC , would easily make the trip.

Josh tried to explain that Botox is not a performance enhancing steroid.

Fedor: I told you not to listen to that chick!
Barnet: yea but I thought I couldn't get herpes that way....*sigh*

I can attend just a train ride away.

"Don't be distressed, Comrade Barnett. Girl use Alek's clean needle on M-1 tattoo. Face rash not so unusual."


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Language borrowed from "Everything is Illuminated"
-Baltimore.

Fedor has deep sympathy for a victim of Skidrow... That's where he frequently picks up his brother.

After Shayna Baszler reviewed her last match-up, she was none to pleased with Barnett's "coaching".

What ensued forced Fedor to bury the hatchet.

Josh how taste my pee pe....eerr I mean Ice Cream Cone?

Fedor is slyly positioning himself for over/under control.

Fedor: "Josh, you ruin M-1 Globals dream of being the next Disney, you mess anything up again, we rip off those chunky tits of yours.."

Josh: "....Yes.."


TWO HOURS AWAY FROM PHILLY!

All Fedor wanted was an Ice Cream cone. I guess Josh will not "intentionally ingest" Fedor's cone while holding it for him.

Barnett: Fedor, i was going to the the steriods no matter what, you didnt have to hurt me.

Fedor: Just shut up and smile

New Poster Boy for steroids with his great catchy moto

"Steroids saved my life!"

(can drive to phily)

"Josh, I know you want a better smile, but you have to stop injecting steroids directly into your facial muscles, I'm starting see the track marks. If you want a big grin, just do it like I do, eat lots of ice cream and let other people make your decisions for you."

willing to drive to phily

Fedor couldn't do anything about the acne or the bitch tits, but after a hug and a trip to the ice cream parlor both Josh's roid rage and sterility had miraculously dissapated.

Im in NJ.

Pictured Above:
Josh 'The Maybe-Laced Assassin' Barnett and Fedor 'The M1 hoe' Emelianenko.

Barnett: "I was the death knell for an entire MMA organization and all I got was this stupid t-shirt."

Barnett's shirt actually reads, "-----------> I'm with Stupid"
Sorry, I can't make it to Philly. I'd actually get to see some MMA fighters with some balls instead of these two tools.....

Fedor: How you say...oh yeah f*ck-upski

Fedor: Why are pants down?

Josh: What, I have no idea what you're talking about.....

Fedor: And who is Asian woman behind you and what is she doing???

Josh: What? Oh, her? Yeah, that's a B-12 shot I swear...

JB: i said get me some juice, not douche...

I told you never try to extract semen from Russian bear!

Fedor and Josh have been known as the "Ike and Tina" of the MMA world. Which explains why the Russian Translator was screaming "Sing the song right Josh!".

*6 hours away if I win will be in Philly on Friday.

Fedor: What happened to your face??

Josh B: The last thing I remember was that I was training and I got caught in a rear naked choke.. next thing you know I wake up.. my ass hurts and I got one hell of a rash on my face... ever happened to you?

Fedor: Hell no

Did those instructions say to inject that shit into my ass or face? Who care what's the worst that could happen...

Yes, I can be in Philly on the 8th :)

Barnett decided to intentionally fail his recent drug test, disqualifying himself from competition, after the picture above was taken. If this is what Fedor could do to his face in a staring contest, what would happen when they laced up the gloves?

Josh didn't think it was too funny when Fedor Joked , " In Russia, steroid pops you.". Josh still laughed though.

Fedor: "Boys and things that come by the dozen That ain't nothin' but drugstore lovin' Hey little thing let me light your candle 'Cause mama I'm sure hard to handle, now, Gets around!"

Barnett: "You're the best buddy"

Fedor: "What song next?"

Barnett:"You pick"

Fedor: "Im bored"

Barnett: "I have meth scabs"

.

"In Soviet Russia you dont get beating, beating gets you"

I live in South Philly!! My friends are going an not me. Hook it up I'll wear a Cagepotato T shirt and mug for the camera

Uhoh, looks like Josh has been sharing needles with Fedor's younger brother, Aleks, again.

I live an hour from philly btw.

{Picture Caption}
*Payday to fight Fedor at Affliction trilogy: $800,000
*Number of Bookmakers that want to kill Barnett 1 million +
*Taking pictures with Gloryhole bruise marks all over your face "Priceless".....



Representing Allentown, PA (30 minutes from Philly)
"i don't want to watch the fight at the bar"

Josh Barnett, forever faithful to the coveted "City of Japan training program".

Fedor Emelianenko, forever faithful to the "deserted elementary school playground training program".


Philly, No problem.

Arriving at the Affliction Press Conference:

PA system: During the CSAC-approved random drug screening, one of our fighters tested positive for three different anabolic steroids, and a low-grade beaver tranquilizer. Therefore, the PPV is cancelled and all fights are off.

Fedor staring at Barnett

Barnett: What.. what.. its just a rash.. I swear


only about a hour and half away from Philly!!

Barnett sporting his new leather jacket, free with 6 2a-methyl-5a-androstan-3a-ol-17-one miles.

8 hour drive to philly. See you there.

The UFC's official fart-sniffer does NOT like the smell coming from Barnett.

Fedor hasn't yet noticed Josh's enlarged nipples slowly taking over his face.

(One of the more common roid side effects - anyways, I live in the Philadelphia suburbs, just had a child with my wife, and have never been to an MMA event in all of my years of watching, Saturday would be totally do-able and awesome if I please the gods here - thanks CP, first post here ever!).

After the meeting, Fedor will recommend adding "ice cream cones" and "rollercoasters" to Barnett's training regime as a muscle building program. Which josh will promptly ignore.

Caption

Josh: Any idea how to get ride of hives?
Fedor: I can smash your face until they disappear.
Josh: I avoided that once... i'll avoid it again.

The black dude on the right is mad because his girl on the left is checking your ass out why the skinhead in the back has his hand on her ass.

In Philly

"Josh, Don't worry buddy the CSAC will be done their anal probing real soon, she just needs to keep digging a little longer, hang in there, pal."

JB: Please, for the love of everything not Tom Atencio, give the ticket to Vegas.

FE: Please, for the love of Barnett's face, give the ticket to Vegas. He's checked the website daily since Nov. 2007 and deserves some icecream, and love. And he can actually attend!

This picture shows the aftermath of a maneuver known only as the Dirty Fedor.

Fedor: Just squeeze, Josh. The young lady is almost done removing your reputation from your ass.

able to go to ufc 101 !!!

Seeing his buddies substance abuse issues, Fedor decides to conduct an intervention the only way he knows how. . . The old Russian mushroom stamp.

Willing to fly

Fedor: "Vat Happened?"

Barnett: "Ah....Lesner caught me drinking a Bud Light..."

See Fedor, it only causes a little acne !

Willing to fly

Barnett: "I should have known riding to the press conference with Chris Brown was a bad idea."

(In Baltimore)

Barnett: I am so glad I took those steroids so the UFC would never even consider me, I mean look at what my little sister did to me.

Fedor: Dude you could have just wimped out like me and demanded something you knew they would never agree to.

Barnett: True dat komrade!


I would totally be able to go to UFC 101!!!!!

"Even Fedor's B.O. is powerful enough to cause instant bruising."

----------------------------------------------------------

Only UFC I've been to was UFC 90 in Chicago...ugh. I'd fly out to Philly with no hesitation.

Thanks for getting me out of the Affliction locker room in one piece.

No problem. You got me out of having to fight anyone good ever again.

----------------------------------------------------------------------
Live in NJ outside Philly.

B: 'I guess injecting into my face isn't considered safe needle practice?'

F: 'Do not vorry Josh, after photo I take you to hotel and teach SECRET injection site. Very popular in Russia. My brother teach to me. you vill enjoy!'

*can't get to philly. i enjoy subscriptions to magazines and nice single malt scotch.

Hey Fedor, whaddya say we go down to Philly, buy Dana a drink and see if we can't work something out.

* I'm in Philly *.

"Why these idiots not leave their addresses? They won't see me...never mind"

- Unfortunately, I will not be visiting family in New York this weekend, and already own a few HoF shirts, so I'm really not able to win, just thought I'd continue what 831 Son started.

This is what happens to your face after Fedor gives you butterfly kisses. You do not want to see what a noogie would do.


(I am driving to Philly on friday for a week with the in-laws. Please save my life by letting me watch UFC on Saturday!!!!)

Not to be outdone by Nick Diaz blowing pot smoke into the CSAC's face, Josh Barnett had his assistant inject him with Drostanolone during a recent phto-opp.

***I can't make it but these tickets will be for sale son!!!

Baby Face meets Baby Fat!
_________________________

Live in Philly!!

This is what happens when you burn Tom Atencio.

Barnett: "Dude, my face is on fire."
Fedor: "Yes but just like funny movie, at least make great for hair gel. Not my fault you wipe all over face like other movie."

Dick on the right, shrunken dick on the left.

"Fedor is smiling because he knows that Vadim Finkelstein gave Barnett advice on what steroids to take for their fight....hence the rash...and getting caught.....and destroying affliction"
live in albany

Even his leather jacket couldn't protect Barnett from the trainwreck of fighting Fedor.

I would fight these two at once to watch UFC 101 live instead of at Buffalo Wild Wings (if I survived).

I am near Philly and would go.

Josh: Come on man, let me introduce you to this guy Brock..they say his stuff never shows up on the tests!

Fedor: Really?

Josh: Yeah I just have to find some good cover up because I started running out of veins..
-----------------------------------------
Live in Philly ticketless and broke! :-(

Fedor and Josh in the up-coming film....

Life after MMA.

A story of two friends living together despite a language barrier.






*I'm in Boston but will drive to Philly in 6 hours or less.

While Josh tried to sustain a straight face, Fedor could not hold in his amusement at the photographers' robust mustache. He would later comment about the moment to interviewers, stating it reminded him of "funny Japanese jump jump man".

Now that Fedor and Josh don't have to fight each other they can be BFF's again! Granted Barnett had no idea his future in Japanese Pro-Wrestling was going to be this intense.

Live in NYC, was in Philly last weekend, would go again in a heartbeat.

Even though I can't win cause I live too far away I'll just do this for fun:

Sometimes just looking at Fedor bruises Barnett's baby soft skin

What?!?! Proactiv is on the banned substance list? Damn you, Jessica Simpson!!!!

Hey Fedor, I had a dream that the fight actually went on ... and when I woke up ...ugh ... talk about AFFLICTING punishment with STRIKING FORCE !!

(going to see Joe Rogan do stand up the night before so all game for UFC 101 !!)

Josh: Ha! You should have seen the other guy!

Fedor: I was the other guy..

Josh: Oh yeahh
--------------------------------------------------
In Philly already!!

Forgot to mention that I would fly to Philly in a heartbeat, but will not be buying my ticket until Friday for fear that the event may get cancelled. Hmmm?

"Tweedle-Dee & Tweedle-Douche."

A good 22 hour drive from Philly.

Because Fedor's pee pee pee tasted a little too similar to Aleks'.

I'm gonna be in DC this weekend but too lazy to drive. I'm posting just for shits.

UFC? Who needs the UFC when I can beat on guys like this?

Barnett: It looks worse than it is.. He really didn't mean to. You don't know the things he says to me when we're alone...


EDIT: Btw, I live in Columbus, Ohio. I could DRIVE to Philly easily.

FE: Tell American press who did this to you.
JB: (reading from cue card) This was done by Mr. Emelianenko and Mr. Emelianenko alone. Under no circumstances was this done to me by six angry men acting on behalf of the Russkaya mafiya. Nor was this act perpetrated by M-1 or its affiliates, or a skinny guy with glasses who later tried to sell me a t-shirt.
FE: And?
JB: I don't even know how that rumor got started.
-----
(I'll be in Philly if I win.)

Josh's internal monologue: "Ahhhhhhh...I guess a beating from Tom Atencio is better then a beating from Fedor!?"

I live in NY and badly want to go to Philly for a cheese steak...and the UFC ofcourse!!

Eddie

Barnett: "If I can't have him Dana..... then neither can you! We're a package. Right buddy?"

Fedor: "Shut up"

Barnett: "Yes sir"

(and yes, i'll be near Philly)

Barnett: I thought you said the safe word was harper.
Fedor: Oh.... I thought you were screaming harder.



* - I'm not in Philly but I would drive there, it's about 4 hours away.

I can make it to Philly easy, i'm from Westchester, NY.

Caption

Fedor: No need to beat yourself up over the allegations Josh, you're looking pretty bad.
Josh: Oh i wasn't beating myself up, i hit my face while falling off the map.

Barnett learned his lesson about being a night club security guard in Holland, but hey the other guy broke his hand.

'This entry cannot win because I can't get to philly this weekend'

Fedor - "Hey Josh...uhh...Tom Atencio called me to...uhh...pass the word on that you have to hand in all of your Affliction clothing by the end of the day."

Where do you start here.....

"We coulda had it all buddy, come here lets get a picture. My careers over because of steroids and you fucked yourself outta fame, money and glory all for Jerry Millen and Vadim......my god did we fuck up, Id say smile but....."

Lady on the left: "Josh, I'm almost done. Oh wait, you werent supposed to know that I was injecting this stuff"

SO DUMB. Did you guys not even read the above article?? Second paragraph clearly states they want to know whether you will actually be in/near philly at the time, or are going to buy a plane ticket to get your ass over there. Shiiiit, son.

dont fuck with my icecream again bitch!

Fedor: "Ok, now we are cool".
Barnet: ...