Commentary

(Come on Tim, you haven’t even read the column yet. Maybe we wrote nice things about you, okay?)

Today on the CagePotato Roundtable, we’re talking paper champs — the one-and-dones and never-shoulda-beens who weren’t quite worthy of the gold around their waist. To limit our scope a bit, we’re only focusing on major MMA promotions like the UFC (including tournament champions), PRIDE (even though all their champions were awesome), Strikeforce, the WEC, and probably Bellator and DREAM as well if anybody cared enough to mention them. Joining us this week is our dear friend Kelly Crigger, the retired solider and best-selling MMA author who’s currently elevating rugby-awareness at American Sin Bin. Read on for our picks, and please, please, please send your ideas for future Roundtable topics to tips@cagepotato.com.

Jared Jones

For four months in 2001-2002, Dave Menne — the fighter who Phil Baroni famously steamrolled at UFC 39 — was the UFC’s middleweight champion. That’s right: The belt that Anderson Silva has proudly worn for the last five-and-a-half years used to belong to this guy. Menne won the title in September 2001 by beating 5-0 newcomer Gil Castillo, and went on to compile an overall record of 2-4 in the Octagon. Gentlemen, the floor is yours. Good luck.

Kelly Crigger

The worst major MMA champion of all time has to be Carlos Newton. For starters when you say your fighting style is Dragon Ball Z Jiu Jitsu to pay homage to a Japanese anime character, there’s a screw loose somewhere.

Secondly, when Newton won the UFC welterweight title, there wasn’t exactly a deep talent pool of competition. MMA was still evolving and techniques were as sound as using bubble gum on a car engine. I will admit that he beat a very experienced and talented Pat Miletich to get the strap, but that’s the lone gem in his dreadlocked crown. Today every weight class has a laundry list of accomplished fighters and an alternate list of accomplished fighters waiting in the wings in case they tweet something controversial and Mr. White fires all of them. The point is, he didn’t exactly climb a ladder of giants to get to the belt.

(The fact that Jones stomped that rabbit to death seconds after this photo was taken did not get him any new fans either.) 

By Nathan “The12ozCurls” Smith

There are a couple of taboo topics at your local watering hole: religion and politics. These two subjects bring out the best and worst in people because the issues are argued with both an intense passion for one’s belief and ire against another’s. Both sides are unwilling to concede the debate, and when you mix in a few cocktails, it ultimately ends in name calling and/or fisticuffs. But among MMA fans, a third topic has already been added to the unwritten “Banned-Bar-Conversation-List.” I’m speaking, of course, about Jon Jones.

Over the past several days, CP has posted not one, not two, but three pieces concerning Jones and his arrest for allegedly driving under the influence of alcohol. The UFC light-heavyweight champion’s arrest was justifiably big news, and both his supporters and detractors took to the comments section to voice their opinions; the Bones-lovers came with a shield to defend Jones and the haters came with party favors to celebrate his misfortune. Here are a few representative comments left by some of you…

SquidInk
Jones haters, what’s it like being so fucking perfect?

Darkside
Everybody falls down eventually. But, that fall hurts a lot more when it’s off of your high horse.

Brobafett
oh god someone drove drunk!!!!??? what a horrible person…blah blah blah. Who gives a fuck? Its stupid he even has to apologize, he already killed his Bentley what else do you want?

(Overeem, before adding horse-meat and anti-inflammatory meds to his diet.)

By Josh Hutchinson

Whether it’s Jon Jones wanting to move up to heavyweight, or everyone wanting Frankie Edgar to cut to 145, weight-class-shifting is a hot topic for MMA fans and pundits alike. And while we’ve recently covered the perils and benefits of dropping to a lower weight class, the same can be said for moving up in weight. After jumping to heavier divisions, some fighters’ proverbial stars have shined brighter, some have dimmed, and some have gone God-damn-supernova — and it’s never easy to predict which fighters will have success. Check out some notable examples below, and tell us which other fighters you think would do well with some extra meat on their bones.

The Good

Alistair Overeem

(Same guy as above, same backdrop, and yet something is different…)

All insinuations aside, Overeem is a prime example of success at moving up a weight class. As I previously mentioned, Overeem has gone 12-1-1 since making a full commitment to heavyweight, and while the quality of opponents he faced was often questionable, that is still a hell of a good run. If you take a look back at his time at light-heavyweight, the stats are not nearly as impressive. Overeem’s losses usually came at the hands of the light-heavyweight division’s top guys, like Chuck Liddell, Antônio Rogério Nogueira, and Ricardo Arona. His run at light-heavyweight showed that he couldn’t hang with the elites of the respective weight class, and was vulnerable to being manhandled by stronger opponents.

After doing whatever it is he did to bulk up, he turned his fortunes around and achieved the greatest stardom of his career, becoming the poster child for successful jumps up the weight-class ladder. If it wasn’t for some bad decision-making, he would be fighting for the sport’s highest prize this weekend. Here’s to hoping he gets his shit together soon.

(Let’s be honest, you’d pay to watch these three knuckleheads do *anything*.)

As Danga pointed out yesterday, injuries and surprise drug tests have led to all five of UFC 146‘s main card bouts being altered since they were first announced, which puts “Dos Santos vs. Mir” right up there with MMA’s most cursed events of all time. But let’s be fair — the UFC originally promised us ten aggressive heavyweights bashing the hell out of each other, and they’re still giving us just that. So is UFC 146 a rag-tag bunch of scab-fights, or a compelling lineup in itself? Let’s break it down…

Original main event: Junior dos Santos vs. Alistair Overeem
Current main event: Junior dos Santos vs. Frank Mir
Advantage: Even. Luckily, our schizophrenic contributor Josh Hutchinson has already presented both sides of this issue, and I’m leaning towards the idea that Mir as a main-event replacement isn’t a total disaster. At first, we had the two best heavyweight strikers in MMA slugging it out for supremacy. Now, we have…well, who knows? Mir’s brilliant ground game opens up a whole new set of outcomes for this one. And isn’t MMA at its best when it’s chaotic and unpredictable? (I know, some of you just watch for the big muscles, but I’m a true fan, okay bro?)

Original co-main event: Cain Velasquez vs. Frank Mir
Current co-main event: Cain Velasquez vs. Antonio Silva
Advantage: Original. And I only say that because Velasquez vs. Mir felt like less of a squash match. Bigfoot really could have used a softer landing in the Octagon; making his UFC debut in a pay-per-view co-main event against a juggernaut ex-champ like Velasquez smells like serious trouble for the Brazilian, who already failed a chin-test against Daniel Cormier in September.

By Elias Cepeda

(The rant in question. Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

You might have read one of the many stories recently on the ratings of the UFC on Fox event that took place Cinco de Mayo weekend. Dave Meltzer probably penned the most significant analysis, given that he’s been providing great business coverage of the sport since 1993. He also had some of the harshest words to describe UFC on Fox 3′s downward-trending numbers.

The overall viewership numbers were down nearly 50% from the previous UFC on FOX broadcast — and significantly lower than other network television MMA broadcasts in the past — and UFC President Dana White didn’t appreciate Meltzer saying so, making his feelings clear in a new video that you can watch above. White argued that his “doom and gloom” report failed to mention the many demographic ratings successes the UFC earned that night.

According to Bloody Elbow’s summary of Meltzer’s piece, published through his subscription-based newsletter, the Wrestling Observer, the writer pulled no punches in characterizing UFC on Fox 3 as a ratings failure:

(Brazilian boy can’t get no love? / Props: enlapelea.com)

Fabio Maldonado should have learned his lesson in his fight against Kyle Kingsbury last June — if the judges refuse to count body punches as “effective damage,” you might as well just start head-hunting and grunting and hope for the best. Once again, the Brazilian light-heavyweight put on a body-shot clinic in his bout against Igor Pokrajac at last night’s UFC event, and once again he wound up with a unanimous decision loss, with one judge inexplicably handing all three rounds to the Croatian. Many observers called this one a robbery, and you can understand why if you look a little closer at the striking totals. According to FightMetric…

- Round 1: Maldonado out-landed Pokrajac 36-6 in significant strikes, 47-16 overall.

- Round 2: Maldonado out-landed Pokrajac 26-13 in significant strikes, 60-18 overall.

- Round 3: Maldonado out-landed Pokrajac 36-17 in significant strikes, 59-30 overall.

- Overall: Maldonado’s success-rate for significant strikes was 72% (98 of 137), compared to 45% for Pokrajac (36 of 80). The final overall striking total was 166-64 in Maldonado’s favor.

(Nick actually shattered his personal record for running away from a scheduled event by a full 3.5 minutes, but nobody ever wants to focus on the man’s accomplishments, I guess.)

If Nick Diaz was required to explain his actions, Braulio Estima would be receiving a personalized car-vlog complete with middle fingers and suggestions that random motorists have sex with their own mothers. Cesar Gracie understands this better than anybody, which is why he took the time to write out a respectful account of all the events that led to Nick’s disappearance from his scheduled superfight at the World Jiu-Jitsu Expo last weekend.

Short version: Although Gracie didn’t appreciate his fighter’s no-show (“his lack of communication with his team and coach was inexcusable”), Nick’s decision to leave was based on multiple instances of shadiness involving a WJJE organizer named “Junior” and Estima himself. Read on for Cesar Gracie’s letter in its entirety, courtesy of graciefighter.com…

My decision to write an account of what happened this weekend is not to answer to the detractors of myself or my team, as no explanation is owed them. It is instead based on my acknowledgement and respect to our fans and supporters. I never thought I would be answering for something that happened at a grappling tournament, however with the worldwide popularity of the sport and my team increasing, I understand that our supporters need answers.

Below is a compilation of events in chronological order. I included the behind the scenes problems we had to let you, our supporters, know how things deteriorated.

(“Uh…your hands getting tired yet?”)

For our first crowd-sourced CagePotato Roundtable, we asked you to give us your wildest fight memories, and damn did you people deliver. Our tip-line was flooded with dozens of hilarious, horrifying, obviously exaggerated tales. In the interest of brevity, we cherry-picked the 12 best submissions for today’s column, which you can read below, including a gem from CageWriter‘s own Maggie Hendricks, and a heart-warming story of asshole-comeuppance from the amateur MMA circuit. But first, one that’s near and dear to my heart…

RollsRoyceGracie writes:

This was back in 1988, when I was a senior in college, in Boston. It was late and I was a little drunk, but my biggest problem was the horrible Chinese food I had for dinner earlier that was trying to make its way down the pipeline and into my drawers. I was walking in a mostly residential neighborhood, having failed to score with my date, and I was looking for a McDonalds or a gas station, but I was getting ready to settle for a dark corner behind someone’s garage. [Ed. note: Been there, bro. Been there.]

As luck would have it, two local dropouts spotted me and innately sensed my vulnerability. They hustled over to my side of the street, but I decided to keep walking and ignore them. They didn’t like being ignored. I remember them calling me “Cock” – “Hey cock, where ya headed?” “Hey cock, why ya lookin’ so sour?” I foolishly insulted them by blurting out that I didn’t have any money. “Ya think we’re gonna rob ya, cock? We’re just lookin’ for some sport.” And with that, the smaller one, a skinny kid maybe 40 pounds lighter than me (because I let myself get fat in college), punched me in the stomach. I shit myself on the spot. Loudly.

(In defense of Dana’s flip flop, who could say no to that face?)

By Josh Hutchinson

As some of you may remember, I recently attempted to make a case for why Alistair Overeem vs. Junior Dos Santos had to happen at UFC 146, testosterone-levels be damned. And though that fight didn’t quite pan out, we’ll instead be treated to an even better fight that evening in Frank Mir vs. Junior Dos Santos (assuming that no other weird shit happens beforehand). That’s right, I said even better. “But you just tried telling us why the UFC needs to keep Overeem vs. Dos Santos,” I hear you screaming. To that extent I have two retorts. The first being that apparently my hypocrisy knows no bounds. The second being that a quick look at Frank Mir vs. any of the other potential replacements makes the case loud and clear. Take for instance the man that Mir is officially replacing…

Alistair Overeem

Yes, Overeem and Dos Santos would have been an epic slugfest, with a near-guarantee of someone being knocked stupid, but if you look at the quality of opponents the two men have faced in recent years, the nod clearly goes to Mir. Since moving up to heavyweight full time, Overeem has compiled a record of 12-1-1, which while sounding impressive, is actually rather deceiving. The majority of the fighters he beat in those twelve wins resemble less of a contender list, and more of a “MMA Fighters: Where Are They Now?” list. I of course am talking about guys like Paul Buentello, Tony Sylvester, James Thompson, Brett Rogers, you get the point. Frank Mir on the other hand, has been wading through the UFC’s heavyweight elites since UFC 34 back in 2001, picking up big name wins like Tim Sylvia (before he was a joke), Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira (2x), Cheick Kongo, and others. Besides there is still a great chance of seeing someone get knocked the hell out. We all know Dos Santos likes to do it, and if you ask guys like Cro Cop and the aforementioned Nogueria, Mir likes to dabble as well.

IQ or sperm count? No, I mean FUCK YOU!

According to Dana White and Nate Diaz himself, the newly declared #1 contender for the light-weight division stated at the UFC on FOX post-fight press conference that he will wait for the winner of the pending Ben Henderson VS Frankie Edgar bout. Just prior to the Jim Miller VS Nate Diaz contest, the rumor mill began to swirl that Edgar had injured his nose in training and the upcoming rematch with BenDo was going to get pushed back until later this year in the September-November area. If that is the case, Diaz is going to be sitting for the next several months.

According to the official UFC twitter account:
“Dana says Diaz will wait for the title shot. He had the option to fight Pettis first if he wanted to stay busy but it was never mandated.”

Fair enough, I suppose, but if Nate is going to wait until after the scheduled championship rematch and then linger until the winner heals, we are conservatively looking at March of 2013 or later before he competes again. That is a pretty long lay-off for a competitor that had 4 fights in 2011. Not only did he compete 4 times last year, he mixed a change of weight-class in between the two. Since being dominated by Rory MacDonald, Diaz has destroyed Takanori Gomi, Donald Cerrone and Jim Miller while raking in 2 “submission of the night” bonuses plus a “fight of the night” check as well.