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Gone, Baby, Gone: Hard Luck and Fast Money at the IFL World Grand Prix

The morning after he wagered his hopes on the Indian Casino Roulette Wheel of Fate — and lost — Chris Horodecki sat silently in the center of the Octogon, drinking from a gallon of water and trying to avoid the glances of the patrons around him, some who recognized him as the formerly undefeated IFL lightweight star, some who were just wondering what in hell happened to that boy’s eye? The Octogon, in this case, was the name of the restaurant connected to the Mystic Marriott Hotel & Spa in Groton, CT, where most of the fighters slept after competing in the World Grand Prix at the Mohegan Sun Arena, a much flashier joint 20 minutes away. The restaurant’s name was more than a little ironic. On a night when most fight fans were focused on UFC 79’s marquee matchups, and most other sports fans were glued to the Pats/Giants NFL simulcast, the IFL’s hungry, scrappy fighters were doing their best to carve out their own place in the MMA universe. And even in their own budget-friendly, off-the-strip hotel, they couldn’t escape the ubiquity of the Eight-Sided-Shape.

Not to say that the Mystic Marriott wasn’t welcoming. There were a couple of signs in the lobby plugging the event. Unfortunately, they were a bit outdated:

Sign

Shad Lierley, of course, was Horodecki’s second scheduled opponent for the championship match-up, after Waggney Fabiano dropped to featherweight, before Lierley was injured and replaced by John Gunderson, and before Gunderson himself was injured and replaced by Ryan Schultz, who nobody was giving a chance to win the fight. I imagine Horodecki walking past the sign on the way to breakfast the morning after and cursing those motherfuckers who couldn’t stay healthy. Because only a true underdog like Schultz could have come away with the kind of fluke victory he had last night. That’s the way life works. You cover all your bets, and the ball lands on green double-zero. Chaos rules.

The Five Most Pathetic Knockouts of All-Time

5. Terry Martin puts up his dukes...sort of
The second round had just started at UFC 54: Boiling Point, when James Irvin went airborne for a flying knee. Terry Martin had battled Irvin for a round already and decided to go all soft and not protect his face. He goes down limp except for his arms, which stay raised in an "I'm not worthy" position. Moments like this should serve more as a warning to never lower your guard for even a second — it's very likely that you'll end up on your back looking like a chump.

4. Johnnie Morton thinks he’s playing football
Johnnie Morton was a good receiver in the pros and at USC. But does that translate to the ring? Apparently not. Especially when it appears he’s just trying to go for a weak tackle the entire time. Morton debuted his new career at K-1 Hero’s in June, displaying some of the worst technique and defense seen all year. Bernard Ackah’s nothing special, but he was good enough to see when Morton left himself exposed, and knocked homeboy out in 35 seconds. Don’t quit your day job, Johnnie — oh wait, no one wants you in the NFL these days, either.


3. Matt Lindland KO’s himself slamming Falaniko Vitale
This one went down back at UFC 43: Meltdown, where everyone thought it was just a matter of time before The Law brought Niko down. But nobody expected Lindland to misjudge the turn on the chest-to-chest slam. Lindland gets his head wedged between Niko’s falling melon and the mat, taking himself down for the count. What, A, Loser. We should mention that five months later, Lindland got his revenge and took Vitale out, not that it redeemed the shamefulness of this particular night.

The Eight Greatest Fights That Never Happened

FedBarn

8. Fedor Emelianenko vs Josh Barnett
As Emelianenko climbed to the top of the PRIDE heavyweight ranks, the only fighter who eluded one of his signature ass-whippings was the one big name he never fought: the Baby Faced Assassin, Josh Barnett. When his name came up as a possible opponent for Fedor at Yarennoka!, our heart skipped a beat. Then, reality set in. Fedor would most likely do to Barnett what he does to everyone else — turn him into a human punching-bag for 2-15 minutes depending on how hard his skull is — but Barnett is an A-level fighter and it wouldn't be fair to count him out against anybody (even though we just did).

7. Mirko "Cro Cop" Filipovic vs. Andrei Arlofski
While every other heavyweight match the UFC books seems to feature Tim "Xanax" Sylvia, the organization's two most exciting stars are sitting on the bench. Anytime you put two offensive powerhouses — neither of whom has much of a chin — in a cage together, you're guaranteed to see fireworks. It doesn't matter that Cro Cop is coming off of back-to-back losses and there really wouldn't be anything on the line; fans would kill to see these guys bash it out.

The 10 Best MMA Photos of 2007

#10. Keith "Satan" Jardine assaults Chuck Liddell
Jard

#9. Gina Carano weighs in
GC

Video Countdown: Top 10 Fastest MMA Knockouts

By CagePotato contributor Kipp Tribble

10. Jens Pulver vs John Lewis (15 seconds)
UFC 28: High Stakes was the venue for this classic KO. The left hook that Lil’ Evil lands is the stuff that bar-fight dreams are made of. Lewis hits the mat and appears to want to fight the ref for a few seconds until deciding he's better off lying still. Not much to it, but damn what a shot to the face – and one that pushed Lewis into early retirement.

9. Gary Goodridge vs Paul Herrerra (13 seconds).
Way back in 1996 at UFC 8: David vs. Goliath, Goodridge squared up against Herrera in what was being billed as a “solid match.” If by “solid” they meant a guy getting elbowed almost to death, then solid it was. Goodridge quickly wrapped Herrera up and was on his way to a submission, but decided, “Why not? I'll just try and kill him instead.” Double G then proceeds to land elbow after elbow to Herrera's temple, rendering him pretty damn lifeless. Sorry for the lack of sound on this one – you’ll have to add your own agonized groaning.

8. Aleksander Emelianenko vs. James Thompson (11 seconds)
Well, this one just makes us smile. First you have James Thompson, built like a Mack truck and shaking with fury. Then you have doughy Aleksander Emelianenko, who looks like he just woke up from a nap. As they meet in the center of the ring, Thompson gives Emelianenko a stare-down that would crush cement; Emelianenko calmly wipes a booger off his upper lip. If you haven’t seen what happens next, we won’t spoil it for you…