Fighters - Page 9

(John Einemo, the only man to ever truly smell what The Rock was cookin’.)

Norwegian news site VG.no is reporting that former UFC heavyweight John Olav Einemo has decided to call it a career after being cut from the promotion following his loss to Mike Russow at UFC on Fox 2.

Although Einemo told reporters that the UFC had left the proverbial door open for his return if he was able to put a couple wins together in smaller promotions, Einemo felt that the time he had to spend away from his family during the training process was simply too much to handle. Apparently his wife and kids didn’t drive him crazy. For those of you who are suddenly overwhelmed with panic as to when you’ll see J.O.E again, fret not, for he plans to help build upon Norway’s ever-growing MMA scene as a coach somewhere down the line.

Nevermind, this is likely the last we’ll see of Einemo before the trolls get him.

(Wait…it’s already been FIVE YEARS since these two last fought?!!) 

Trilogy fever has officially struck Zuffa.

Word has it that lightweight scrappers Sam Stout and Spencer Fisher will meet for a third time at UFC on FX 4 this June, in a fight that will be an early front runner for “Fight of the Night” to say the least. Both Fisher and Stout are coming off losses to Thiago Tavares, so it seems a good a time as any to have these two square off once again, because MMA fans eat up rematches like fried Kool-aid nowadays.

Fisher and Stout last met way back at UFN 10 in June of 2007, where Fisher was able to erase the memory of his split decision, “Fight of the Year” earning loss to Stout at UFC 58 by walking away with a close but unanimous decision victory. As of late, however, Fisher has descended further down the lightweight ladder with each performance, to the point that he could be fighting for his job come June 22nd. He has dropped 4 of his last 5, with the lone win coming by way of UD over UFC washout Curt “The War” Warburton at UFC 120. Yes, you read that correctly; Curt Warburton’s nickname is “The War.” What a crafty SOB.

Stout has seen quite a bit more success recently, scoring wins in 4 of his last 6, including a first round starching of Yves Edwards at UFC 131 last year. After his long time trainer and close friend Shawn Tompkins suddenly passed away, however, Stout pulled out of his bout with Dennis Siver to do some “soul searching” along with fellow Team Tompkins members Chris Horodecki and Mark Hominick. Upon returning to the octagon, the aftereffects of such a tragic loss were still noticeable, as both Stout and Hominick suffered defeats to Tavares and Chan Sung Jung, respectively.

In other fight booking news…

(What do you *mean* you don’t have any Funyuns?) 

It has been a pretty terrible week in the world, Potato Nation, and it’s only Tuesday. Seven people were recently murdered by some sick asshole with a grudge out in California. Tornadoes have threatened to literally remove Dallas from the planet, and flood waters nearly drowned the island nation of Fiji. All within a couple of days.

But not everything sucks; an eighty year old woman managed to land a plane in Wisconsin after her pilot husband collapsed, and it looks like we’ll be seeing Nick Diaz return to competition earlier than we could have predicted. HOORAY!

(Hey Gil, hold up a finger for each title defense you’ve given a shit about lately.) 

OMG, you guys. Rematches are like SO HOT right now. So hot, in fact, that they are being booked regardless of whether they are necessary or not. Or, in the case of the recently booked Gilbert Melendez/Josh Thompson trilogy match, whether we even want to see them.

Don’t get us wrong, the first two scraps between these two were entertaining affairs, and the third should be no different. However, its matches like these that bring into question why Strikeforce is still in existence, you know, other than the ladies. Just check out the current roster of lightweights in the promotion and scoff accordingly. There are less contenders in that lineup than your average season of Dancing with the Stars, and even your friend Randy, who blew his hand to pieces with that M-80, could count the entire talent pool using his fingers and toes, and still have some left over.

Either Strikeforce needs to start recruiting fighters fast, or Melendez will be able to defend his belt more times than Anderson Silva and GSP combined…against Josh Thompson. Given that the UFC is currently purging all of Strikeforce’s remaining talent, it seems the latter is an inevitability. What will be most interesting to see is how Strikeforce will continue to market this from here to eternity. WHO’S READY FOR MELENDEZ/THOMPSON 10 IN OUTER SPACE?!

(Wait, now I’m fighting who?) 

Maybe it’s because we’ve been burned many, many times before, but we’re not exactly sold on Dana White’s recent claims that the upcoming TUF 15 Finale headlining match between Martin Kampmann and Jake Ellenberger will be for the next title shot. You see, “number one contender” is a term that is so loosely used and abused by the Zuffa brass these days that it might as well be Rampage Jackson.

But be that as it may, a press release sent out by the UFC this morning, quoting the almighty DW nonetheless, has stated that the victor of Kampmann/Ellenberger will indeed get the winner of Condit/GSP, whenever the hell that happens:

The welterweight division is stacked and Jake Ellenberger and Martin Kampmann are going to fight for the chance to earn a title shot. They will headline the season finale of TUF Live on FX to crown the next Ultimate Fighter. There’s a lot at stake for the guys competing on this card at the Palms.

You see how they did that? “For the chance to earn a title shot,” is about as brilliant a non-commitment as we’ve ever seen. Dan Henderson would be impressed by such a classic Dana White misdirection, and would undoubtedly have a better response than the one you are about to read. But if you feel tricked, hoodwinked, or even bamboozled by such a statement, then you’re not alone. We’re not going to take it anymore, and are calling shenanigans on this right now before things get out of hand. Here’s why.

(Fact: Don Frye charged each of these women a ZJ for this photo.)

For all the “creative” insults and red-blooded rants Chael Sonnen is able to come up with out of the blue, he will never hold a candle to the crass, old timey anecdotes of Don Frye. The man has more bravado than a Sherman tank full of other Sherman tanks, more wisdom than a Tibetan monk achieving Buddhahood, and would fight his own mother in your basement for a shot of Jack Daniels if you asked him correctly. He makes the Brawny man look like a metrosexual, and orders grilled bison when your mother takes him to that hip new Vegan restaurant in town. Matter of fact, Frye’s masculinity has grown so powerful that it even manifested itself in the greatest television character of all time: Ron fucking Swanson.

So you wouldn’t be surprised to learn that, during a recent interview with Sherdog’s “Savage Dog Show,” Frye was unrelenting in his mockery of everyone from Dana White to Brock Lesnar, unleashing a hellstorm of one liners that will surely make you feel like less of a man for not even having the gonads to dream them up.

First, let’s start with Frye’s assessment of the current UFC fighter pay scale:

Oh my God, it’s a crime. It’s a crime. You see some of these guys only getting two or three or six thousand dollars and you’ve got Dana bragging about having 30 Ferraris. Come on. You have a sponsor and he charges a sponsor what, a hundred and fifty grand to have your stuff on the fighter? That’s money he’s stealing from the fighter. Then he goes and he pays them two or three thousand dollars. That’s crazy.

Join us after the jump for more from the interview. Don’t worry, it only gets better.

(Mickey O’Neil would not stand for this shit.)

As with anything featuring Kimbo Slice nowadays, the video of his “suspicious” fourth round KO of Brian Green last weekend has blown up thanks to a mix of controversy and street certified swagger (but mainly controversy), receiving over one million hits in just a few days (that’s good, right?). As many of you noticed when we originally reported on the fight, Slice’s last second knockout seemed a little too convenient to stomach. The punch didn’t seem to have much behind it, and Green’s reaction seemed like it was a poor bit of acting. Like Nicolas Cage in The Wicker Man remake poor.

When it comes down to it, no one but those involved can truly know whether the fight was fixed or not, but we all know the Internet has never needed a shred of evidence to start lobbing accusations at a public figure. For nearly five days, Green has had to endure the relentless mockery of keyboard warriors nationwide, and anyone from Dana White to well, myself, can attest to the lengths that a pissed off troll with a computer in his hands will go.

Brian Green, however, has enough of this shit. According to him, everyone just needs to step the hell back, because he ain’t no flopper. Matter of fact, Green says, if everyone wants validation, a rematch will certainly satisfy the naysayers.

We could be wrong, but it appears that Green, fueled by his own mix of disdain and Jagermeister, typed the following message for the entire world (ie. Facebook) to see at some point Wednesday night:

(Dammit! This was so much easier to escape in the video game!)  

On the heels of two straight submission via rear-naked choke losses courtesy of Joe Lauzon and Jim Miller, former “top contender” Melvin Guillard’s stock is probably at an all time low. The UFC, likely recognizing Melvin’s need to step up his ground game or GTFO, are not cutting him any slack, as they have paired him against 3rd degree (uh-oh) BJJ black belt (not good) under Royler Gracie (dear God) Fabricio Camoes. The worst part: Camoes is coming off a submission by rear-naked choke victory at UFC on FX: Guillard vs. Miller.

Game. Set. Soon.

Look, we’ve got mad respect for Melvin Guillard; how can you not love someone whose idea of avoiding the takedown is repeatedly throwing flying knees? But this does not look good for “The Young Assassin,” who may very well get the boot if he is submitted for the seventh time in his UFC career come July 7th. Come on Zuffa, you can’t even give him some low-level nobody to squash first?

Matter of fact, it looks to us like the UFC is trying to punish each and every member of The Blackzilians for Anthony Johnson’s colossal mistake. Have the Zuffa attorneys not informed DW and Joe Silva that judging a certain group of people based on one isolated incident is considered profiling, and could lead to a huge backlash from said group? If we could think of any examples from American history, say from around the 1960′s, that could possibly help prove this point, we would. Unfortunately, no such example exists. Perhaps we’re just lucky.

Join us after the jump for a ton of fight booking news…

(Equinso Ocha: Always holding the black man down.) 

We could be wrong, because he speaks with a comprehensibility that would give a stenographer an aneurysm, but it definitely sounded like boxing great/MMA not-so-great James Toney just called former UFC light heavyweight champion Quinton “Rampage” Jackson a “slave” in a recent interview with EsNewsReporting.com. Granted, he also claims that the UFC paid, and is still paying him, a grand total of 1.5 million dollars for his UFC 118 “fight” against Randy Couture, a notion that we know is complete and utter bullshit, but listen to what he had to say when asked about Rampage’s recurring plight with the UFC:

That’s what you get for being a slave to the white man. Don’t be scared. Step up and speak for yourself. That’s why I got paid the million-and-a-half dollars and am still getting paid by the UFC. You know what I’m sayin’? The highest paid fighter ever. You feel me, fat boy? Me. And you been there…what, twenty years and you’re getting paid pennies? While I make millions?

Rampage, if you wanna fight me boy? Come on down to the gym and I’ll give you a job first. …you could be the sparring partner. I pay $50 for a sparring partner.

First off, if you supposedly got paid $1.5 large at UFC 118, why is it that you only pay your sparring partners a measly fifty dollars? Who looks like an asshole now? You, Mr. Toney, that’s who.

Check out the video interview, along with our best attempt at transcribing it to English, after the jump. 

(Etim and Lauzon, seen here demonstrating the Tomax and Xamot effect.) 

Two lightweights will be looking to bounce back from horrific, nightmare-inducing losses and vie for the love of their malnourished alien overlord when Joe Lauzon takes on Terry Etim at UFC on Fox 4, which goes down on August 4th from the Staples Center in Los Angeles, California.

The last time we saw Etim in action, he fell victim to, and in fact helped spawn the idea behind, the “Falling Tree” knockout, when he was leveled via a spinning heel-kick compliments of Edson Barboza at UFC 142. The fight was only Etim’s second in as many years, as he spent most of the 2010-2011 season nursing a rib injury that forced him out of a match with, you guessed it, Joe Lauzon, at UFC 118. He was replaced by Gabe Rudiger for that event, and we all know how that ended up. Etim finally made his return at UFC 138 in England, where he submitted Edward Faaloloto with a guillotine in just 16 seconds. The victory earned Etim his fourth “Submission of the Night” award in his ten fight career under the Zuffa banner.

Lauzon is also coming off a devastating head kick KO loss– his coming against top lightweight contender Anthony Pettis in their main card scrap at UFC 144. Prior to that, Lauzon had put together a two fight win streak over Kurt Warburton (via kimura) at UFC Live: Kongo vs. Barry and Melvin Guillard (via rear-naked choke) at UFC 136. Lauzon has never lost two in a row in his UFC career, and Etim hasn’t since dropping back-to-back contests to Gleison Tibau and Rich Clementi at UFC 75 and 84, respectively.

I feel compelled to reiterate that the similarities between these two is nothing short of suspect. Both are coming off head kick knockout losses, both are SOTN savants, and both look like the offspring of Christopher Walken and a hairless Aye-Aye. Could it be that these two were separated at birth, destined to fight for the right to rule all of mankind somewhere down the road? Or are these mere coincidences? I suppose it all really depends on which type of person you are.

While you take a moment to reconsider everything your futile religion taught you to believe, join us after the jump for more fight booking news…