Funny Shit - Page 9

(#FacesofDeath) 

You know, it’s rare that we come across a filmed street fight with a video quality above that of The Blair Witch Project, and even more rare that we see one with any sort of technique involved whatsoever. Sure, Eddie Bravo will straight choke you to death if you cross him on camera, but it’s fair to say that most of the fights we catch on the Youtubes often involve two drunken nightclub patrons attempting to knock the glitter covered dragons off each other’s Ed Hardy v-necks using a fighting style that can only be described as “Tasmanian Devil-esque.”

We’ve tried to persuade you from this kind of thing, while understanding that it is bound to happen nonetheless. So what we’re saying is, if you plan on following the path of Lionheart in the near to distant future, you should do two things:

1. Take a couple lessons away from the following video.

2. Pray to your God that Jorge Masvidal isn’t the one you find yourself against.

(Watch out for that metal thing? / Props: Maury Povich via ScreenJunkies)

God damn you, ReX13. His running gag this week inspired us to revive an old, dead CagePotato feature, in which we take a moment to recognize some of your efforts in the comments section. Will we forget about this by next Friday? Maybe. Maybe not. All we have is this moment. And now, the eight greatest comments of the week…

ReX13 on “Report: Miesha Tate to Defend Strikeforce Title Against Ronda Rousey on March 3rd” [selected highlights]:
- “If you weren’t pretty, it wouldn’t matter what you said or didn’t say. That’s why you’re getting this attention.” – Miesha Tate
- “Man, Stalin was a real asshole, killing his own people like that.” – Pol Pot
- “Wow, that Bachmann chick is stuck on turbo-crazy. The only reason people are giving her the time of day is because she’s a relatively attractive woman in the Republican party. Does she hear the words that are coming out of her mouth?” – Sarah Palin
- “Goddammit, I’ve spent fifteen years in this neighborhood trying to increase property vaules, and a whole fucking passel of kettles just moved in next door. With their hippity hop music and Tyler Perry movies…..we better get a dog, honey.” – Pot
- “Bobby Flay is kinda a douche, you guys.” – Guy Fieri
- “The Duggars should stop having children. Can they even handle the children they already have?” – Nadya “Octomom” Suleman
- “That Octomom is such an attention whore.” – Kate Gosselin
- “Fuck you, bitch.” – Nadya Suleman

ElDandy on “Video of the Day: Fabricio Werdum Is as Inappropriate as We Are and Fedor Isn’t Impressed“
Fedor’s high priest looks like every dude I’ve ever seen at a Widespread concert.

Fried Taco on “Aw Geez, Now BJ Penn is Calling Nick Diaz a Cheater“:
At least BJ is right about one thing. No one will ever accuse him of being the bigger man.

(Video courtesy of Yahoo! – HT NomadRip)

In an attempt to appeal to a wider breadth of demographic than The Ultimate Fighter, MTV has created a new reality show that is loosely based around the MMA aspirations of a group of small town Louisiana kids.

The show is basically 16 and Pregnant and the “babies” they are expecting are their upcoming fights. Truth be told, the concept is a good one since it’s more “reality” TV than TUF has become and most of us will likely be able to convince our spouses and girlfriends to watch a show like this one strictly for the train wreck factor. The fact that it will air immediately after Jersey Shore on Mondays and prior to the JS rebroadcast will mean big numbers for the show — maybe even more than TUF 15 on Fox.

(“See, where I come from bitching like that will get you backhanded.”)

Well, it didn’t take long for Team Cesar Gracie to return fire on BJ Penn after “The Prodigy” launched a random Twitter attack on Nick Diaz yesterday.

Here’s what they had to say about Penn’s latest bitchfest via a posting made today on Cesar’s official blog, GracieFighter.com.

Say It Ain’t So BJ…

JANUARY 6, 2012

BJ Penn has apparently not come to terms with the beating he received at the hands of Nick Diaz. Below is his latest posting on his Twitter account:

@nickdiaz209 Look how much bigger you are in this pic..I thought you were gonna scrap from the beginning homie? What was that coward fence holding strategy to tire out the smaller man? Street fighter my ass! I made you fight like glass jaw @jonfitchdotnet poser!
I’ll be ready for that weak bs next time we fight!

At some point it is up to those around you to protect you from yourself. To take you aside and let you know you are wrong and help save you from your folly. Unfortunately for Penn he is surrounded by “Yes Men” that are unwilling to do that. The outcome will be predictable, resulting in a fighter that will never push himself to the fullest and will always have excuses for his losses.

(Nah, he’s just sleepin’.) 

Well, at least he attained the proper tags. None other than former UFC welterweight champion and avid hunting afficionado Matt Hughes tweeted this picture early today, which was taken on a recent hunting trip he made to the Midwest. After more than a few of his followers had something to say about it, Matt responded with the following tweet:

(Even the ladyboys in Thailand were no match for Quinton’s rapidfire pelvis)

They say with all sexual addictions, the addict eventually begins to lose interest in their current fetish and moves on to stranger, more dangerous behavior.

For Quinton Jackson, his humping addiction could prove his undoing if he continues to escalate the adrenaline factor at the rate he’s going.

Rampage Dry Humps Cagepotato Reporter – Watch MoreFunny Videos

(“Today FUEL TV, tomorrow the world…muahahaha!”)

If you’re like us and you can’t get enough of The Chael Sonnen Show,  you’ll be happy to know that “The Gangster from America” has been added to the line-up of Fuel TV’s new weekly UFC Tonight serial.

Sonnen will have his own segment on the show called Chael’s Corner and if the clip below is any indication, it will consist mainly of “The Real UFC Middleweight Champion” taking potshots at Brazilian fighters.

If you missed listening to the festivities live last week, we finally got around to uploading our interactive 30th episode of The Bum Rush Radio Show that we recorded on Thursday. Between audio issues and server downtime over the weekend, we were unable to bring you this dose of sweet ear candy until today, but at least you’ve got something to help you through your hangover…er Monday.

Joining us on this 2011 retrospective instalment of show were some of your favorite contributors including Jason Moles, Jared Jones and Seth Falvo. Also calling in to voice their opinions on the year’s biggest stories and UFC 141 were comment section regulars Remedial and karmaatemycat.

“Listen, I know we’ve had our moments, but before you make your list just hear me out…” (Photo: Gossiboocrew.com)

We’re only a few hours into the new year, but unless your head hit the pillow just as the ball dropped, you’ve probably already carried some of your bad habits with you into 2012. We are creatures of habit, and change doesn’t come naturally to us. If it did, we wouldn’t make such a big production out of our ‘New Year’s Resolutions’. The sport of mixed martial arts and its fans are no different. Here’s a quick look at some of the bad habits we’ve picked up and poor decisions we’ve made over the past 12-months. Let’s hope we can leave them behind in yesteryear.

Tisk, tisk, tisk. Apparently word travels fast, because it seems we cannot go more then a couple days here at CagePotato without hearing another tale of some Charles Bronson-esque vigilante justice. Today’s story takes us to Hendersonville, North Carolina, where avid MMA fan and pawn shop clerk Darren “Rocky” Mothershead (?) found himself on the wrong end of a Friday night robbery attempt and decided to solve things the good old fashioned way, with his fists.

And we mean “attempt” in the lightest sense of the word, because as “Rocky” was handing over the day’s take to the gun-toting thief (a gun which later turned out to be of the pellet variety), he went all Jason Statham on the SOB and delivered a BRUTAL left hand that KO’d the dirty rapscallion instantly.

If the fact that this was all caught on tape wasn’t awesome enough, Mothershead then forced the burglar to CLEAN UP HIS OWN BLOOD off the carpet as they waited for the police to arrive. These are the actions of a boss, ladies and gentlemen. The thief was later identified as Mostafa Kamel Hendi, so if anyone out there knows this guy, send us his address so we can in turn send him a crushed ice pack and our condolences for failing at every turn in his life thus far.