Rampage Jackson Slams Forrest Griffin, Talks Out of Own Ass

Former UFC light heavyweight champ Quinton “Rampage” Jackson must really be feeling better. Apparently not content to have his name in the news just for felony charges and rumors of his November return to the Octagon, now he’s revisiting the topic of his loss to Forrest Griffin. Maybe he felt that his clash with “delirium” after the fight robbed him of the opportunity to talk about it, but he’s making up for lost time with this visit from the Ghost of Shit-Talking Past in a recent interview with the UK’s Fighter’s Only Magazine:

“I just want my fans to know, I was at my worst and Forrest was at his best - and I still beat him. …A man is not a man if he can’t ‘fess up to when he gets his ass kicked. See me, if I get my ass kicked I am like ‘yeah, I got my ass kicked’.

However, Jackson says that when he said those exact words at the end of the fight in July, “I was being sarcastic, because I really could not believe that it went the way it did”.

“I’m not a sore loser, shit happens. But I was hoping that Forrest would be a man and come out and say ‘You know what, I didn’t win that fight’, especially after he watched it.

“I wasn’t really sure, right at the end of the fight… I know he hurt me and punched me in the face a couple of times but I was bobbing and weaving and making him miss, stuff like that. I was hoping that he would come out later after he saw the fight and say ‘yeah, I saw the fight and I lost that fight.”

Daaaaaamn! First of all, Rampage really expected Griffin to come out after the fight and voluntarily say that he did not deserve to win the title? Has Rampage ever met any pro fighters? That’s just not their style. Especially with a fight that close, it’s standard operating procedure for both guys to claim they won and for both to go to their graves truly believing it. So basically Rampage wants Griffin to do what no other fighter, including him, would do in this situation.

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Damn the Courts! Rampage Jackson Still Looking at November Return

(Coming atcha, Portland)

So, okay, former UFC light heavyweight champ Quinton “Rampage” Jackson may have some legal troubles. He may have been charged with two felonies and a couple few misdemeanors resulting from his little driving mishap, and he may even be looking at potential jail time. Big deal. Does that mean he shouldn’t take a fight in November? Maybe. Probably. But so what. He’s doing it anyway.

According to Yahoo! Sports, Dana White is actively trying to set Jackson up with a fight for UFC 91 on November 15 in Portland, Ore.:

“Of course he’ll fight,” White said. “If he was doing drugs, if he had been drunk, if he had gone out there and done what he did because he was pissed off at someone, that would be a completely different story. But he was ill. And in this company, we support our friends and anyone who works for us when they’re ill and have problems. He was ill, the incident occurred, and now he’s fine.

“Rampage feels awful about the woman’s baby, but he had nothing to do with it. And the (traffic incident) occurred because he was very ill and not with him in control of his faculties.”

All right, I understand the argument that because he was “ill” it shouldn’t be looked at in the same way as someone with a drug or alcohol problem. That makes a certain degree of sense. Until you consider that this “illness” was entirely self-imposed. Rampage decided not to eat, sleep, or drink anything other than energy drinks after his last fight. That’s not like coming down with the chicken pox. It’s more like coming down with the crazy-energy-drink pox, which is almost as bad as the cocaine pox, except not as expensive.

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If This Doesn’t Make You Thirsty For Malt Liquor, You Must Not Have a Serious Drinking Problem Yet

The first time I ever got drunk it was thanks to Mickey’s Fine Malt Liquor. At the time I was fifteen and didn’t know that the phrase “Fine Malt Liquor” made no sense at all. Some friends and I got the big mouth bottles and drank them as fast as we could in the vacant lot behind the supermarket. Needless to say, we soon threw up and had horrible headaches, but the point was we did it. The fact that it was awful only made us feel more like men, which of course we weren’t. It wasn’t until a few months later when I saw a homeless man drinking a forty of Mickey’s in the street while holding his pants up with his free hand that I realized maybe we had been using the wrong metric by which to gauge our manhood.

Mickey’s lost me as a customer back then, but that doesn’t mean they’re giving up. They’ve apparently decided to go the Coors Light route, and instead of investing money into coming up with a better product they’re simply going to do weird stuff to the container. The newest weird thing: putting Tito Ortiz on their limited edition cans.

There’s something that’s just too perfect about seeing Ortiz hook up with Mickey’s. They were both once beloved by the UFC until the organization found something better, and they’re both responsible for regrettable pregnancies. Too far?

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It’s Official: Tito Ortiz Put a Baby in Jenna Jameson

(’Ain’t love beautiful and totally freaking bizarre, baby?’)

Okay, so that headline might be slightly misleading. All we know for sure is that there is a baby inside Jenna Jameson. How it happened and who’s to blame, that’s all speculation until they go on the Maury Povich show to get the DNA test done. The real question is, when the results are announced, will Tito be the type of guy who launches into a awesomely inappropriate celebration dance? Oh, these timeless questions.

Our friends over at Holy Taco have more on Jenna’s official pregnancy announcement, as well as a hilarious take on what the fateful night of conception must have been like. Naturally, this is followed by a photoshop that will probably condemn you to hell for all eternity just for looking at it. As if you weren’t headed there, anyway.

We can’t help but wonder what kind of child will come out of this union of bodily fluids. Being the progeny of famous people already increases your chances of being a total screw-up in life, even more so than being the progeny of rich people, and this kid will be both.

But beyond that, it will also be the child of two people who are famous for, shall we say, unconventional reasons. Perhaps no other child in the history of the universe will have as many opportunities to get in fights with kids at school who say things about his mother, while also having such great chances to win all those fights via ground-and-pound.

Could this be the perfect recipe for creating a future MMA star? Maybe. Or else he’ll grow up hating his parents and become an ultra-conservative evangelical preacher who leads aggressive campaigns to outlaw pornography, pro fighting, hastily-thrown-together memoirs, and hair dye. Either way, this child is going to be something special.

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What a Lonely Time to Be K.J. Noons

(Have you seen me?)

First Nick Diaz implored him not to be scared, homey. Then Jared Shaw went looking for him on the back of a milk carton. Now even Fabricio Camoes is getting in on the K.J. Noons bashfest. Maybe the force of public opinion will be enough to force Noons into a fight after all. You just have to wonder how much longer he can stand criticism like this:

“I’m waiting, I’m looking forward to fight him (KJ Noons). Inside EliteXC everybody had the chance and lost, but I’m here. I’m with six victories, two inside Elite and want to face him… I came to get his belt…I don’t know if he’ll accept a fight with me. They offered Nick Diaz and he didn’t wanted. The event is negotiating to try to put me to fight, I hope he accepts it”, said Fabricio [Camoes].

“The champion of the event picking the opponents… The champ has to fight whoever the event wants. Nick Diaz has qualities to steal his belt, and I want to get into this battle too. If you have the belt, you need to be prepared to fight everybody. Every fighter that goes to EliteXC wants to fight for the belt, nobody signs a contract thinking about fighting the worst opponent.”

Honestly, Noons needs to break his silence soon. Otherwise he risks going down in MMA lore as the champion who wouldn’t fight. It’s one thing to have Nick Diaz call you out. All that means is that you have a pulse. But when mid-level guys like Fabricio Camoes start implying that you may or may not be a total pussy, then you’re about one step away from being called out by Rue McClanahan.

For his own sake, Noons should at least let everyone know why he doesn’t want to defend his belt, whether it has to do with money, choice of opponents, or general disdain for Elite XC. Something, please. Even if he said he was quitting fighting to study jazz tap, that would still be better than nothing. We don’t want to say that he’s a punk, but he has been displaying some very punk-like qualities as of late.

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Anderson Silva vs. Chuck Liddell? Sure, Why Not.

(’You dance very good, little woman. You are negative for the STD’s, yes?’)

Poor Anderson Silva. The UFC middleweight champ just can’t find enough playmates in the UFC middleweight neighborhood. Yes, there’s that nice Patrick Cote boy, but then what? Silva is basically being forced to go door to door and ask, in broken English, if there are any middleweights or light heavyweights who can come out and play. Next up could very well be Chuck Liddell, according to Silva’s manager, Ed Soares:

“I think he wants to fight those big mega fights because that’s the kind of fight we want to be involved with right now,” he said about Silva’s future fights. “I think it’s a combination of seeing what the potential opponent is and also seeing what the UFC wants to do. At the end of the day, this is a business, and they need to sell fights. They need to sell a lot of pay-per-views, and they need to sell tickets. So, we want to be involved with those types of fights.”

“We’re not looking past Patrick Cote, but I think we’ll take one step at a time and see what happens. But yeah, if a Chuck Liddell fight came up, we’d take it,” stated Soares. “Whoever the UFC wants to put in front of us, he wants to fight the best, and whoever that may be at the time, that’s who he wants to fight.”

The very idea of a Silva-Liddell superfight is probably enough to give Dana White an erection, and for good reason. The pay-per-view numbers on this would likely be record-breaking, and no matter how it goes someone gets a big boost. Liddell, however, is probably a little less enthusiastic.

For one, he recently made known his belief that a victory over Rashad Evans should be enough to net him a title shot. Chances are he didn’t mean the middleweight title. For another, beating the champ from a lower weight class is sort of like being the toughest kid in eighth grade after being held back a year. There’s always a ‘but’ attached to that victory.

Silva has more to gain from this fight than Liddell does, but if there’s one thing we know about “The Iceman” it’s that he’ll do the UFC’s bidding, whatever it happens to be. He’ll also probably make a ton of money to do it, and everyone can go home fat and happy if this fight materializes on a pay-per-view at year’s end.

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Hieron Agrees to Face Fickett in Affliction, But Will It Actually Happen?

Former IFL welterweight champ Jay Hieron has reportedly verbally agreed to face Drew Fickett at the next Affliction event in Las Vegas on October 11. The real question is, will Fickett find some clever new way to screw it up? Fickett’s manager, Alexander Oxendine, seems open to that possibility:

“We’re in discussion with a few organizations and Affliction is one of them,” said Oxendine. “They are at the top of our list. As far as Drew is concerned, he’s made a great turnaround with his life and training. He is ready to move forward.”

If you don’t know, Fickett is the same guy who managed to get himself fired from MFC and booted off a Strikeforce card in one glorious weekend when he tried to breach his contract in the apparent hopes that no one would figure it out. They did, chaos ensued, and Fickett went on to lose via questionable stoppage in a Rage in the Cage event.

So now one of MMA’s favorite troublemakers is being offered a spot in Affliction against one of the tougher welterweights outside of the UFC, and he’s not sure if he wants to take it? Affliction should not only be at the top of his list, it should be the entire list. He should run down there and sign the contract in his own blood before they have a chance to change their minds. Let’s hope this is just a negotiating ploy by his agent. If Fickett ends up turning this down to fight in some small show at a fairground somewhere, we’ll know it’s time for new management. No, not Mark Dion, either.

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