Paulo Filho Has No Excuse

(Either on his way to corner a fighter or commit a break-in. You just never know.)

All day long I’ve been waiting to hear details on exactly what combination of prescription drugs, nachos, and crippling depression was responsible for Paulo Filho showing up seven pounds overweight and then fighting like a bored schizophrenic at last night’s WEC. Judging by his remarks to Tatame, however, it sounds as if Filho is going to try and play this one off as nothing more than a bad night after a bad training camp:

“What can I do, it’s sad… The fact is that I have no excuses, he (Sonnen) went there and did his job to neutralize me and that’s what happened, he did the right job and he has all merits… It was good to give me a new spirit.”

A new spirit? I guess that’s a start. The old one looked pretty worn out, if not non-existent. As far as how he’s planning to turn things around, Filho seems to think the answer consists of moving to Los Angeles and eventually going up a weight class.

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Nipple Tweak Increases Record to 4-0

(Props to Ausgepicht)

You can’t do it without looking like the creepiest fucking pedophile on Earth. Yet somehow the Jackson camp’s patented nipple-tweak warmup has become a guarantee of success in big-time fights. Just ask Georges St. Pierre, Rashad Evans, Keith Jardine, and now Leonard Garcia (above), who are all coming off recent triumphs. (Apparently, fellow Jackson fighter Donald Cerrone also tweaked before his win last night against Rob McCullough.) Here’s the list of fighters you may see doing it next. Michelle Watterson, if you’re reading this, do consider it.

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November 17: The Day You Can Finally Own an EliteXC Fighter

(Anyone want to buy a Kimbo?)

The date is set for the auction of Pro Elite’s assets. On November 17, everything that isn’t nailed down, and probably a bunch of stuff that is, will all be sold to the highest bidder. According to the notice of sale, fighter contracts are just part of what’s on the auction block:

The Collateral includes all contracts between any Debtor and mixed martial arts fighters (including, but not limited to, Kevin Ferguson a.k.a. “Kimbo Slice”, Gina Carano, Jake Shields, Robbie Lawler, Frank Shamrock, Antonio Silva, Brett Rogers, Dave Herman, Scott Smith, Nick Diaz, Cristiane Venancio Justino a.k.a. “Chris Cyborg”, Eddie Alvarez, Yves Edwards and Wilson Reis) and all of each Debtor’s video library, still photographs and home videos (e.g., DVDs and VHS tapes).

VHS tapes?! Say no more.

Is it me, or is there something creepy about the idea of selling fighters at auction? I can’t help but picture poor “Cyborg” Santos standing up there while sweaty-palmed promoters and fetish pornographers bid for her services, all while she struggles to understand what’s going on. You add Frank Shamrock and Kimbo Slice into that scenario and it begins to feel like a nightmare you have after overdosing on cold medicine.

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Videos: Couture vs. Halme, Penn vs. Nautilus Machine + More

MMA Scraps dug up the above video of Randy Couture’s first-ever UFC fight, which took place at UFC 13 (5/30/97; Augusta, Georgia) against Tony “The Viking” Halme, a former pro-wrestler who made a completely unsuccessful run at being a mixed martial artist. This was Halme’s fourth and final pro MMA fight after three losing appearances in Rings. After Couture made short work of Halme, he went on to score a TKO over Steven Graham the same night, winning the event’s heavyweight bracket.

Below: I don’t want to call BJ Penn a bitch, because clearly he isn’t — I mean, his record speaks for itself. I’m just saying that the sounds he makes while putting up 150 pounds in the gym are somewhat bitch-like. He’s like the Maria Sharapova of free-weights. But I do like the GSP-directed dig his wrestling coach gets in at the end: “You don’t have Hollywood agents reprensentin’ ya, man. We’re just normal guys that like to beat somebody up.” Bonus: Our pal Dewey at Yardbarker filmed a ten-part MMA tutorial video series with cage-legend Frank Shamrock. Part 8 (”Leg Locks 101″) is after the jump; the rest can be seen here.

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Brock Lesnar: Racial Profiling Victim

(In Brock’s defense, he is really, really white.)

We all know why Brock Lesnar deals with accusations and insinuations about steroid use. It’s because he’s a white dude. Right? Simply couldn’t be any other explanation. At least that’s what he told Pro MMA Radio:

“I’ve been accused of using steroids my entire life, probably since the tenth grade in high school… I’ve never failed a drug test. Now if I was a black guy and I looked the way I do would I get asked this question a 100 times? I just happen to be a white guy that has some great genetics, so I guess that puts a bullseye on me… I’m a white dude that’s shredded and you don’t see a lot of it — a guy that’s walking around that looks like me.”

I feel silly even typing this, but I think Brock Lesnar is oversimplifying this issue. I kind of see his point. Almost. But in answer to his question, if he was a 280-pound black man who was a former pro wrestler and who looked like an action figure, I tend to think that he would still get roughly the same amount of steroid questions. Does the name Bob Sapp sound familiar?

If Brock is tired of being asked about steroids, I have bad news for him. Unless he suddenly starts to resemble a normal human being it isn’t likely to stop. Perhaps his piles of money will console him.

(Props: MMA Mania)

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Paulo Filho Misses Weight…By Seven Pounds(!!!)

(Chubby Paulo. Photo courtesy of MMA Weekly.)

If missing weight was the cool thing to do at today’s WEC weigh-ins, you can just call Paulo Filho the Brazilian Fonzie. Filho was a full seven pounds over the limit for tomorrow night’s event, coming in at 192 pounds. This is his first fight back after a nearly ten-month layoff due to problems with depression and drugs, and coming in ridiculously overweight is not typically how you want to return to action. He needs to drop the seven pounds within the two-hour limit given by the Florida Commission, otherwise there will be no title on the line and maybe no fight at all.

Update: On his second attempt, Filho weighed in at 189 pounds, still four pounds over. The fight will go forward as a non-title affair.

Just for kicks, Mike Brown also weighed in over the limit, but thankfully he only missed his mark by a half-pound. Brown weighed in at 145.5, which would have been fine for a non-title affair, but what with Urijah Faber’s WEC featherweight title on the line he had to go spit in a cup for an hour or so. On his second attempt, Brown hit the 145 pound mark.

Rani Yahya also missed weight for his bout with Yoshiro Maeda. Maeda did him a solid and let him have the extra pound rather than force him to cut it and weigh in again. What a guy, that Maeda.

Full WEC weigh-in results are after the jump.

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Pro Elite For Sale at Auction, Everything Must Go!

(Name your price, gentleman.)

Maybe now we know why Pro Elite is trying to hold on to existing fighter contracts, and it isn’t because they intend to hold an event in early 2009. It’s because Showtime and CBS are auctioning off all their assets. This, according to an SEC filing this week:

“Showtime gave the Issuer a notice pursuant to the Security Agreement, as amended, that it intends to sell all of the Issuer’s personal property, whether tangible or intangible, to the highest bidder at a public sale,” the filing states. “Showtime reserves its rights under the Security Agreement, as amended, and applicable law to adjourn or cancel the sale and thereafter dispose of such property in a public or private sale or in any other manner provided by applicable law.”

Awesome, everybody loves an auction!

The way I see it, there’s never been a better time to scoop up some fighter contracts and start an impromptu MMA organization in your backyard. You get all your buddies together, everybody throws in a few bucks, and the next thing you know you have Nick Diaz and Robbie Lawler ready to throw down at your next party. If you move fast you might even get them to throw in some of the EliteXC hip-hop dancers.

That’s it, let’s take up a collection right now. Think of the possibilities…

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