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21 Incredible Minimalist Movie Posters

Insanity

Renan Barao Puts Life at Risk, Makes $0.00


(Photo via Getty.)

Dana White lobbed a financial insult at Renan Barao in the wake of UFC 177.

In case you’ve been away from the Internet for the last few days: The main event of UFC 177 was supposed to be bantamweight champion TJ Dillashaw vs. Renan Barao–an unnecessary rematch of their bout from May. Barao botched his weight cut, which caused him to fall and hit his head in the shower. He was rushed to the hospital and couldn’t fight. Weight cutting is a serious health issue, but Dana White and the UFC apparently don’t care.

Insults to the ego are one thing, insults to the wallet are another. The former is naught but the buzzing of flies, but the latter stings like Head and Shoulders in the eye. Renan Barao will probably get over Joe Rogan essentially calling him an embarrassment to himself and the UFC. But will Barao get over Dana White refusing to pay him his show money? Because that’s what Dana White is doing. He’s not paying Barao.

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Behold, The Worst MMA T-Shirt of All Time. OF ALL TIME.


(Yes, this is a real shirt, and not a cut-scene from Leisure Suit Larry.)

Today’s jumping spinning hook-kick knockout video raised a couple of uncomfortable questions. For instance: Isn’t XFS the same promotion that was plagued by a record-padding scandal earlier this year? And why was one of the cage posts advertising something called Tomato Can MMA?

The answers to both questions are reflected in the atrocious t-shirt you see above. As a tongue-in-cheek reference to its notorious use of jobbers and palookas, the Xplode Fight Series has launched a charity drive called “Tomato Can MMA,” in which it will (allegedly) donate a can of food to a food bank or homeless shelter for every one of its “Melons” t-shirts that are purchased. (Just $19.99 plus $4.95 shipping!) As you read these words, there’s a homeless guy in Escondido farting out two cans’ worth of sauerkraut, all thanks to the philanthropic souls at XFS.

This is the worst MMA-related t-shirt in history, hands down. The phrase on the shirt — “Don’t let my melons get in the way of your CANS!” — is cringe-worthy, and basically incoherent when you think about it. (Although I do like the ironic usage of the trademark symbol, as if anybody would steal any of this.) Obviously, the message is printed in comic sans, beloved font of dull children and sociopaths.

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Gross Video of the Day: Bas Rutten Sews Own Leg Up After Non-Alcoholic Beer Mishap


(Props: OfficialBasRutten)

Bas Rutten has been in a reflective mood lately. In addition to posting a bunch of his old Pancrase fights to his YouTube channel, Rutten also re-uploaded a classic home surgery video that all strong-stomached El Guapo fans need to see.

In 2008 (or so), Rutten accidentally broke a six-pack of non-alcoholic beer, which somehow blasted a shard of glass through his jeans and into his leg. With his wife traveling in Holland, there was nobody around to demand that he go to the hospital, so he stitched up his own gaping wound with an ordinary sewing needle and some household thread.

“I think you should just get it professionally done, dad,” his daughter says, “because you never know, like, what if something bad happens?” Her advice falls on deaf ears; Rutten saw this done in a Rambo movie, and that’s good enough for him. Eventually, Bas’s daughters get bored of the totally insane thing that is happening in front of them and start playing with the dog.

Anyway, good God this is nasty — and apparently performed with no other anesthetic than a belly full of O’Doul’s. Incredible.

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Martial Arts Fail of the Week: A Kung Fu Instructor With a Chuck Liddell-Level Beer Gut

Another weekend, another Martial Arts Fail of the Week.

Today we don’t have anything quite as scandalous as instructors telling you to shit yourself or claiming that defeating a wrestler is as easy as sidestepping a takedown.

Instead, we have an example of the kind of shoddy martial arts techniques being taught in dojos across the country. This is the kind of stuff Martial Arts Fail was originally started to expose: Techniques of dubious validity practiced on partners that are totally compliant. How is that kind of stuff supposed to teach a person how to fight and defend themselves?

So anyway, this week’s example is from a San Soo Kung Fu school. If you’re an MMA history buff, you’d recognize that name. UFC 2‘s Thaddeus Luster was a representative of the style (and he got dominated by a Sambo practitioner). This school in particular belongs to Bill Hulsey, the instructor in the video, who’s been running the school for 39 years.

To us, the video typifies martial arts. An old, deified “master” with a huge beer gut makes himself look like a Mortal Kombat character by beating up a compliant student.

The guy has tons more videos. Have a look at some of the highlights:

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Video: ‘Arena Combat 1′ Highlight Reel Proves That 2-on-2 Obstacle Course Fighting Is Taking America by Storm

Just like American Ninja Warrior is the latest evolution of jogging, so is Arena Combat the latest evolution of fighting. Formerly the Russian enterprise known as Hip Show, the 2-on-2 obstacle-course fight league made its U.S. debut last Saturday in Bristol, Virginia. As you can see in the above highlight reel, a good time was had by all.

Check out the press release below for more information on what exactly is happening here, and stay tuned for news of Arena Combat’s impending TV deal and upcoming events.

ARENA COMBAT FASCINATES VIRGINIA CROWD WITH IT’S UNITED STATES DEBUT; CURRENTLY IN TALKS WITH NETWORKS FOR AIRING OF ARENA COMBAT 1: SOUTHEAST TRIALS

Miami, Florida, August 15th, 2014 – Forty fighters entered THE ARENA, and 20 emerged victorious. Saturday, August 9th, ARENA COMBAT 1: SOUTHEAST TRIALS, the first American ARENA COMBAT event was held in Bristol, VA. The sport was introduced to a rowdy studio audience in the Bearcat Den gym, and the crowd was captured from the opening fight to the main event.

Amenities exclusive to ARENA COMBAT bouts such as the padded obstacles, team based maneuvers, and the 2-on-1 Sudden Death round were on display from the beginning of the night. Undefeated bantamweight “JABBAWOCKEE” JOSH SMITH propelled himself off of “The Table” obstacle with a flying kick and dove off of an obstacle into a takedown; one of two teams of brothers, TEAM LUDUS, used group tactics throughout en route to a victory; and fans were in awe of the 60 second 2-on-1 round, cheering a number of sole survivors to a 1-on-1 final round.

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Christy Mack Releases Gruesome Photos/Details About War Machine Assault [WARNING: GRAPHIC]

Christy Mack Beaten
(Via Mack’s Twitter. More photos and details are after the jump.)

One day after he was released from Bellator for allegedly assaulting his ex-girlfriend, porn star Christy Mack, notorious TUF alum War Machine (a.k.a Jon Koppenhaver) remains on the run from police with a $10,000 bounty on his head. Mack, however, has been hospitalized ever since.

After promising to make a statement this morning, Mack recently posted photos of her injuries and details of the assault via her Twitter. WARNING: They are absolutely horrific.

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And Now He’s Fired: Bellator Fires War Machine Over Domestic Abuse Allegations [UPDATED]


(War Machine in 2007 / Photo via Getty)

Bellator has fired War Machine after a report from TMZ claimed he was involved in a domestic violence investigation.

TMZ’s report claimed the domestic dispute involved three people at War Machine’s Las Vegas home. Two people were reportedly injured so bad they had to go to the hospital. The report claimed one victim was War Machine’s “significant other.”

A tweet from Christy Mack, War Machine’s sort of girlfriend (the “it’s complicated” relationship status was made for them), seems to confirm the report:

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‘I Will Literally Kill You’: Jones vs. Cormier Feud Takes a Nasty Turn in This Unaired ‘SportsCenter’ Footage

On Monday, Jon Jones and Daniel Cormier went on SportsCenter for a thought-provoking interview about the totally awesome! regrettable press-conference brawl that had gone down just hours beforehand. Though Cormier fired some heated barbs during the segment (“He’s a punk, he’s a liar, he’s a whole bunch of things he shouldn’t be proud about being”), Jones decided to do the interview as his Drowsy Autistic Guy character, which could still use some workshopping, honestly.

It turns out that the real heat came after the segment was officially over. In this incredibly uncomfortable footage (via MMAJunkie), Jones asks Cormier, “Hey pussy, are you still there?”, which leads Cormier to marvel at how fake Jones is, and how he can turn into a completely different person when the cameras are off. Then it gets really good:

Cormier: You are the fucking scum of the earth, you are a terrible human being, but you can sure turn it on, huh?

Jones: Thank you.

Cormier: Gaahh, fuck. I wish they would let me next door so I can spit in your fucking face.

Jones: [long pause] You know I would absolutely kill you if you ever did something like that, right?

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VIDEO: Jon Jones and Daniel Cormier’s Wild Brawl at the UFC 178 Media Day [UPDATED]


(Props: allelbows)

We got ourselves a rivalry, folks — and possibly some hefty fines for bad behavior. Photos and news updates are after the jump…

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Calcio Storico (aka Italian Prison Riot Rugby) Is Probably Not the Next Big Thing in Combat Sports


(Props: dbettazzi)

I don’t exactly know what I’m looking at here. Elias sent me this video today, and the best I can describe it is “Riot breaks out during a shirts vs. skins game of either rugby or capture the flag at a Renaissance Fair held at an Italian prison.”

Watch this video for five minutes and try to figure out the rules of the game. There are at least 50 players on the field at any given time, with players drifting in and out seemingly at random. The referees are the guys in the colorful shirts, I think. The object of the game is to take the ball into the end zone, like a normal sport, but — in a hilariously ghetto twist — there are no end zone markings or goal posts to speak of. You just throw the ball against the fence when you’ve made it all the way without being knocked out.

After some googling, I’ve learned that the video shows a game of calcio storico (“historic football”) or calcio fiorentino, a game that dates back to 16th century Italy. Here are some amazing facts from the wikipedia page:

- “In 1574 Henry III of France attended a game of “bridge fighting” put on in his honor during a visit to Venice; the king is recorded as saying: “Too small to be a real war and too cruel to be a game.” Man, that is just classic Henry III of France.

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