sloths funny photos album covers
Iconic Album Covers Replaced With Sloths

Insanity

MMA is Horrible: Jon Jones Defends Disgraced Bill Cosby

This week on MMA is Horrible, we have UFC light heavyweight champ Jon Jones defending Bill Cosby — a man 13 women have accused of rape.

TMZ found Jon Jones in Los Angeles and asked for his thoughts on the matter:

What’d he do? He raped somebody, right? Nah. I don’t think Bill Cosby would do that. I’ve never met him but from what I’ve seen, he seems to be a class act. I kinda grew up admiring him as a black actor and I really hope that’s not true. I mean, he’s Bill Cosby, he shouldn’t have to take it. They should be [does a gesture insinuating women should throw themselves at him].

Umm…yeah. Not exactly the most graceful or appropriate response from Jones.

Read More DIGG THIS

Alexander Emelianenko Got Engaged! While in Jail! Awaiting Trial!! For Sexual Assault!!1!


(He’ll fight for my love AND he bakes! *swoon*)

Love is…strange, Nation. It requires trust, understanding, patience, and occasionally, the willingness to look a convicted sex offender in the eyes and say “I do” from behind the bars of a Russian prison.

What? Haven’t you heard? Alexander Emelianenko — the very same who is currently awaiting trial for the sexual assault of a 27 year-old woman – recently got engaged to a living, breathing woman named Pauline, reports MMABoxing.ru. Break out the streamers! Fire up the band! Just make sure you tell them to keep it down!

Now, I know what you’re thinking, “Oh, that just means that he’s prison engaged, if you know what I’m saying.” First off, don’t nudge me, and secondly, you’re wrong. According to BloodyElbow, “Emelianenko, through the request of his lawyer, got permission to marry inside the detention center. It also appears that it was his fiancé, Pauline, who proposed.”

So there you have it. Alexander Emelianenko is engaged to be married. And I have no one.

Read More DIGG THIS

ICYMI: The Tito Ortiz-Stephan Bonnar Grudge Match Now Includes an Undercover Double Agent Storyline

(And this simply amazing/incoherent video.)

Things seemed to have calmed down a bit between Stephan Bonnar and Tito Ortiz following their plain cartoonish “brawl” at Bellator 123. Now less than a week out from their Grudge Match for the Ages at Bellator 131, the time for trash-talk has come and gone, thankfully, and the time to get this damn thing over with is nearly upon us. Now if only we can finish this sentence uninterrupt-

(*checks earpiece*)

What’s that? Tito’s saying what? What do you mean a spy is involved? (via Ortiz’s interview with MMAWeekly):

Well, it really came down to a plan, an idea that I thought would work, worked perfectly.

When I first signed with Bellator, I guess Dana (White) and Bonnar kind of had an idea that if they called me out, I would come back to the UFC and fight. And this was a year ago that this happened. And I wasn’t going to let that happen.

I wanted to fight in Bellator, so I signed with Bellator and I thought in my mind, ‘How can I get Bonnar to Bellator to finally shut him up and smash him after the things he said?’

And sneakily on my side, I got (fighter manager) Dave Thomas to sign him. Dave Thomas signed him and we had to think of something to make him believe that Dave Thomas doesn’t like me, that Paul Herrera didn’t like me. Paul Herrera was going to coach him. And Stephan Bonnar bit the line, hook and sinker. He thought in his own mind that all of his guys were against me and I fooled him.

And now it’s a week out from the fight. I know how his training camp went. I know the ins and outs. So he just got baited. That’s how bad I want to cave his face in.

Read More DIGG THIS

Croatian Boxer Knocks Out Referee, Is Dragged Out of the Ring by His Feet [UPDATED]


(Angle 1, via joebiemel)


(Angle 2, with funky groove, via sportsviewlondon)

Things got a little out of hand yesterday at the European Youth Boxing Championship in Zagreb, Croatia, when a disgruntled Croat boxer named Vido Loncar went superheel and punched out a referee following his match against Algirdas Baniulis of Lithuania. (See also: Yvel, Gilbert.) After dropping the ref with a savage right straight, Loncor continued to fire down shots from above. Meanwhile, Baniulis scampers out of the ring like a frightened cat. Eventually, about a dozen guys bum-rush the ring, and Loncor is dragged out by his heels. The ending of Nightmare on Elm Street comes to mind. Crazy.

UPDATE via Sherdog: “Vido Locar, the Croatian boxer who viciously attacked a referee following the stoppage of his bout, is currently in jail and has been banned from the sport of boxing for life.”

Read More DIGG THIS

Here’s What a UFC Magic the Gathering Set Looks Like

You didn’t hear about Dana White’s latest announcement: An MMA-related Magic the Gathering set?

Well,there’s a reason you didn’t hear about it: It didn’t happen. Thankfully, one of our favorite past times is figuring out what products should needlessly be merged with our MMA obsession. A few days ago, we arrived at Magic the Gathering (MTG for short). We played the addictive card game back in high school. We wondered what a set of MTG that spans the entire MMA world might look like. The below cards–featuring the likes of Dana White, Conor McGregor, Greg Jackson, as well as several “MMA memes”–are the result of our mental meandering.

A few notes: We haven’t played Magic in about 10 years so some of the gameplay semantics might not be totally accurate. Also, some of the abilities are for the purposes of chiding MMA as only irreverent CagePotato can. All real photos in the cards come from Getty Images, save for the photo of “Minowaman” Ikuhisa Minowa, which comes from Sherdog. Another card’s image comes from a YouTube screen capture (you’ll know which one).

With that, here are the cards. We hope you enjoy them:

Read More DIGG THIS

Oh, This? Just a Double Knockout In a 2 on 1 Russian MMA Bout [VIDEO]

A freakshow MMA fan I may be, I must admit that I’ve never quite understood the appeal of 2 vs. 1 MMA, Tag Team MMA, or anything of the like (except for Hip Show, that is!). How something as blatantly tilted and insanely dangerous as having two trained fighters team up against one can even be legalized boggles my mind, and more or less plays into the notion that MMA is a trend sport in need of exploiting (except for Hip Show!).

That being said, I won’t act like I didn’t jump out of my seat while watching this video uncovered by the UG, wherein the clearly disadvantaged fighter knocks out *both* of his opponents in roughly 3 seconds. The fight took place somewhere in Siberia, of course, and that is literally all I know about this video, and quite frankly, all I need to know. Other than the fact that 2 vs. 1 fighting will never hold a candle to Hip Show.

Hip Show.

-J. Jones

Read More DIGG THIS

Anthony Johnson Issues Apology but Maintains He’s Innocent of Domestic Violence


(Photo via Getty)

Anthony Johnson has responded to the recent allegations of domestic abuse.

After Bloody Elbow posted the story, Johnson apologized on his Facebook page and absolved himself of guilt. He wrote the following:

I want to apologize to everybody for my language yesterday. It really sux being accused of something I didn’t do. So plz forgive my reaction to the whole situation. My day will come that I can prove I’m innocent. Thank you for the support! Without the fans and my close friends/family I wouldn’t be able to function. I love you all….

In case you didn’t read the account of Johnson’s alleged abuse on Bloody Elbow, here’s the rundown:

Read More DIGG THIS

Is Fedor Coming to Bellator? Scott Coker “In Dialogue” With M-1


(Photo via Getty)

Scott Coker wants to see Fedor Emelianenko vs. Randy Couture.

Yes, it’s 2014 and whispers about this “dream fight” from ages past are still happening.

“That’s a fight I would personally love to see,” Coker said after Bellator 123. “But I just don’t know if it’s going to happen.”

When pressed as to why he was pessimistic, Coker cited Couture’s appearance on Dancing with the Stars.

However, Coker did not that he was currently talking with M-1 and was going to be speaking with Couture next.

Read More DIGG THIS

Here’s a Video of the Tito Ortiz-Stephan Bonnar Brawl (That Was In No Way Staged)

Tito Ortiz and Stephan Bonnar got into a brawl last night at Bellator 123.

It wasn’t a Jon Jones-Daniel Cormier brawl.

It wasn’t even a Strikeforce: Nashville brawl between Mayhem Miller and Nick Diaz’s crew.

It was a terribly phony, laughable, obviously staged “scuffle” that brought down an otherwise stellar Bellator card.

Get the rundown after the jump.

Read More DIGG THIS

Actual Thing: The Official UFC Hot Dog Brander


(For just $14.95, you can be the biggest douchebag at the barbecue. / Props: The UFC store via Jonathan Snowden)

Well that’s just the most worthless piece of junk I’ve ever seen. And yes, you need to read the product description:

Celebrate your fandom by turning your BBQ into a real UFC fiesta with this hotdog brander! It’ll definitely be a real party the moment you lay some UFC graphics* on your favorite BBQ foods of all time! Everyone already knows you’re on fire this season**, but when they see you searing your UFC love into your hotdogs*** they’ll know better than to mess with your boys in the octagon****!

Read More DIGG THIS
CagePotatoMMA