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Jon Jones Being Sought By Albuquerque Police for Role In Alleged Hit and Run [UPDATED]


(Have you learned nothing from this hilarious photoshop, Jon?!!)

To loosely quote Dave Chappelle, “Man, Jon Jones is f*ckin up.”

Rumors started circulating last night that the light heavyweight champion had been involved in yet another automobile mishap — this time, a hit and run accident in which a 20 year-old pregnant woman was hospitalized — in his resident Albuquerque. After initially denying that Jones was the man being sought after for the hit-and-run, Albuquerque police later released a statement that reads:

“The Albuquerque Police Department is actively seeking UFC Fighter Jon Jones for questioning in regards to his possible involvement in a hit-and-run accident, near the intersection of Juan Tabo and Southern, in Southeast Albuquerque early this morning, April 26, 2015.”

While Jones has apparently not been seen or heard from since the time of the alleged incident, the UFC has since released a statement in response, which you can check out after the jump.

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VIDEO: Conor McGregor Steals Jose Aldo’s Belch at UFC Dublin Press Conference, Chaos Erupts

“You’re looking at the king! You’re not the king of Dublin, you’re nothing!!”

It’s going to be a real shame when this circus act has to end (with Conor McGregor‘s decapitation).

After the jump: A full replay of the UFC World Tour Dublin press conference, complete with yet another fiercely intense staredown.

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Six Things More Likely to Occur Than Ronda Rousey Losing To Bethe Correia


(Props: Fox Sports)

By CP Reader Ramsey O’Shea

If the circulating reports have any truth to them, it looks like Ronda Rousey will make her next title defense against Bethe Correia in the main event of UFC 190 on August 1st. According to my local gambling expert, Vegas oddsmakers should list Rousey as something around a kajillion-to-one favorite over her Brazilian opponent out of the gate, a betting line which will only continue to swing in Rousey’s favor as fight night approaches.

This is not what you’d call a gambler’s paradise, folks, so much so that I asked the top statistician I know to punch up some numbers and find me a handful things more likely to occur than a Bethe Correia win at UFC 190. Here’s what he came up with…

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Anderson Silva, Nick Diaz Fail UFC 183 Drug Tests for Drostanolone, Marijuana

Wow.

There’s really no way to beat around the bush here, so let’s get right to it. Last night, it was revealed that Anderson Silva tested positive for two types of anabolic steroids in an out-of-competition drug test given on January 9th. His UFC 183 opponent, Nick Diaz, also tested positive for marijuana metabolites (AGAIN), albeit in in his UFC 183 post-fight drug test.

Son. of. a. bitch.

Details after the jump.

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CagePotato PSA: So About That Last “CagePotato PSA”…

Free Cage Potato dog
(It’s more “Save” than “Free” now, but the message is still relevant.)

By Jared Jones

Good morning, Nation.

If you’ve visited CagePotato within the past few days, you’ve likely read my inspiring and totally original war speech which triumphantly declared that we will not be be going quietly into the night, nor will we be vanishing without a fight, and so on and so forth. You were likely moved to tears by this heartrending and undeniably epic rally cry, and most certainly hugged your loved ones a little tighter before tucking them into bed, reminding them to never, ever take anything in life for granted.

And while I wasn’t technically wrong in declaring that CP’s flame will forever burn, it turns out that my soaring call to arms might have been a bit, presumptuous…

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Ten Unrelated Thoughts About Running a Mid-Level MMA Blog — A Goodbye Letter From BG


(Author’s note: Please listen to this song while reading the column below. When it ends, listen to it again.)

By Ben Goldstein

1. I was 26, I had just gotten fired for the first time, and I was scared about making rent in New York without a job. A guy I sort of knew hired me to launch a blog about MMA for a media company based in Los Angeles. It was more money that I was making as a low-level editor for a low-level men’s magazine, and I could do it from home. Seemed like a better plan than unemployment.

2. My God, that was over seven years ago. George W. Bush was president. MMA was “the world’s fastest growing sport.” Everything seemed possible.

3. Running CagePotato was the greatest job I ever had because I could write what I wanted without being edited or censored. Developing a roster of like-minded outlaw-writers was a blast (see list of thank-yous, below), and the job helped me discover talents I didn’t even know I possessed. Plus, working from home meant I never had to use an office bathroom stall next to a co-worker after lunch. Some of you don’t understand what a luxury that is.

4. Running CagePotato was the hardest job I ever had because it was the first time I had genuine responsibility in my professional life. I was judged for my site’s performance, and people depended on me showing up every day. Sometimes, I got yelled at.

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Yep, Mirko Cro Cop Is Coming Back to the UFC. Seriously.


(Mirko, good to see you again, old buddy!! Uh….Mirko?)

Well, it’s official: We have entered the era of the UFC signing UFC washouts.

As first reported by BloodyElbow last night and confirmed by the UFC shortly thereafter, Mirko Cro Cop has once again signed with the UFC. As in 40-year old Mirko Cro Cop. As in 0-3 in his past 3 UFC fights and 3-4 in his past 7 overall Mirko Cro Cop. There aren’t enough TheRockeyeroll gifs on the Internet to do this news justice.

Why, OH WHY did the UFC re-sign Cro Cop, you ask? Out of spite, obviously:

The source says that Bellator MMA had been “very close” to signing Filipovic but that the UFC got wind of the deal and stepped in with a big offer. The source says this was “almost certainly” for no other reason than to keep Filipovic away from Bellator and Spike TV and to deprive Bellator frontman Scott Coker – formerly the head of Strikeforce – ammunition with which to work.

(*exhale*) Where do I begin?

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God Help Us, Kimbo Slice Signs With Bellator; Official Announcement to Be Made During Bellator 132 Broadcast


(Kimbo Slice spotted at a Bulls vs Heat playoff game on May 15th, 2013. Notice the subtle graying of his still-mighty beard. / Photo via Getty)

After nearly five years away from MMA competition — Five years! Man, time flies, doesn’t it?! — Kevin “Kimbo Slice” Ferguson will return to the sport in 2015 as a Bellator fighter. The news was first reported by CombatPress, then later confirmed by sources you’ve actually heard of.

An official announcement about the signing is expected to take place during the Bellator 132: Pitbull vs. Straus broadcast, tonight on Spike TV. The official date and opponent for Kimbo’s Bellator debut will be revealed in the coming days.

Rumors about Kevin Ferguson’s Bellator signing have been circulating since last June. The backyard brawler turned cage-fighter turned can-smashing boxer hasn’t competed in MMA fight since his TKO loss to Matt Mitrione at UFC 113, way back in May 2010. Kimbo went on to rack up a 7-0 record in the boxing ring, but hasn’t competed in that sport since January 2013.

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The Plot Thickens: Jon Jones’ Test Results Also Reveal Abnormal T/E Ratios, Hormone Levels [UPDATED]

While there’s been a lot of hubbub (rightfully) made about Jon Jones’ positive test for cocaine and the Nevada State Athletic Commission’s subsequent bumblefucking of his case, it’s taken (some of) us a couple days to see another, perhaps greater abnormality in Jones’ sample. Also, I just used hubbub and bumblefuck in the same sentence and probably deserve some kind of award for that.

As you already know, Jones’ two tests on December 4th both came back positive for traces of cocaine metabolites, with his follow-up test on the 18th coming back clean. All three tests, however, showed significantly lower than usual levels of testosterone, which for a young athlete of Jones’ level is unusual to say the very least.

Jones’ first test (the “watery” sample) is pictured above. As you can see, Jones’ testosterone levels measured at 59ng/dL, and his epitestosterone levels measured at 170ng/dL. This raises several red flags, as the range for epitestosterone is usually similar to that of testosterone (hence the 1:1 T/E ratio that is considered normal). Jones’ second and third tests are after the jump.

Now, there are a few possible explanations as to why Jones’ T/E ratio could come back so abnormal…

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Oh, For The Love of Christ: Ken Shamrock Reportedly Facing James Quinn In a Bare Knuckle Boxing Match


(“We’re thinking of broadcasting it on PPV for the low-price of $109.95, including satellite fees … this is for the poster, right?”/ Photo via Getty)

As if the perils and inconsistent regulations of MMA weren’t cringeworthy enough, it seems like the shift to boxing is the answer to when shit really hits the fan.

UFC Hall of Famer Ken Shamrock announced through a press release on his website that he’ll be duking it out against James Quinn in a bare knuckle boxing match, scheduled to take place sometime this April in the United Kingdom.

Here is an excerpt from the statement:

“Shamrock is in great health and feels invigorated by this opportunity to continue to compete and to continue giving back to his fans. Shamrock is going back to his roots as a fighter. Knowing his body well, Shamrock knows that his decision to re-enter the ring for the love of this sport is a sound decision. Shamrock adamantly believes that age should never be a restriction to any athlete. People can do amazing feats past their prime, if it’s a priority to them.

“Shamrock knows that bare-knuckle boxing is a sport with great potential to grow well beyond where the sport is today. His involvement in this sport is to show support and help its success.”

Now, apart from the hilariousness that is Shamrock building his entire website to announce this news, complete with sections devoted to limited merchandise, “Youth Outreach,” and “Shamrock’s Businesses” (including sections like Yes. I Am Learning The Stock Trade, the Shamrock Slam: Technical Fitness Drink, and Profit 101: Self-Defense & Fitness, all under the “Get Stuff” tab, we’re hoping this does happen (because at this point, who the hell cares anymore), yet we’re not exactly holding out for our hero…

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