sloths funny photos album covers
Iconic Album Covers Replaced With Sloths

Insanity - Page 6

Martial Arts Fail of the Week: The Mystic Art of Bo Fung Do

What, you haven’t heard of Bo Fung Do? Are you some kind of martial arts hobbyist or something? We only cater to hardcore fans at CagePotato, so here’s the rundown:

Bo Fung Do is “a martial art system geared for practical self defense against one or more opponents.” It’s a Wing Chun offshoot whose name means “The Way of the Sudden Storm.”

Judging by the above video, there’s no better way to prepare for a street fight against multiple opponents than to flail at opponents adorned in more padding than a self-conscious teenage girl’s bra.

Actually, we’re not being fair. There’s another crucial aspect to this ancient, prestigious art:  Fighting in front of some strobe lights while being blasted with fake snow. See a video of it after the jump.

Read More DIGG THIS

‘WTF?’ Video of the Day: MMA Fight Ends Via Softest Leg Kicks Ever


(Props: Hargravemartialarts via RedditMMA)

And here we have a guy in a ponytail who doesn’t quite understand how to throw leg kicks, winning an MMA fight via leg kicks anyway. Considering that the victorious fighter trains out of a Martial Arts Fail-worthy Kenpo/Jeet Kune Do school run by this guy, I have to wonder if this whole thing is a work. What do you think? Did the guy in the red shorts take a dive, or did we just witness the first Leg Tap Death Touch in sanctioned competition?

Read More DIGG THIS

On This Day in MMA History: Paul Daley Sucker Punches Josh Koscheck, Earns Lifetime Ban From the UFC

By Ben Goldstein

Banning a cage-fighter for punching his opponent in the face is kind of like handing out speeding tickets at the Indy 500. Of course, context is everything in MMA. Between the first horn and the final horn, you’re allowed to inflict massive head trauma and wrench limbs until they break apart, as long as you avoid the relatively small list of no-nos set forth in the Unified Rules. But if you hit a guy directly after the fight is over? You’re garbage, and nobody wants you.

I’m not trying to call that hypocritical in any way. In fact, it’s these small distinctions — these subtle nods to context and polite behavior — that prevent mixed martial arts from devolving into pure barbarism. Otherwise, MMA would eventually become Thunderdome, and nobody wants that. Well, I’m sure some people want that. But we’re not sociopaths, are we? We’re sports fans. At the end of the day, having fights end with mentally handicapped man-children literally dying in the cage does us no good as a society.

(By the way, how many times have I referenced Master Blaster while running this site? Dozens of times? Thousands? Indeed, it has been a long journey.)

Four years ago today — May 8th, 2010 — at UFC 113 in Montreal, Paul Daley spent three rounds being smothered by the superior wrestling of Josh Koscheck. The fight was as dull as it was predictable. Clearly, Koscheck wasn’t interested in a standup battle against Paul Daley, one of the most dangerous welterweight strikers in MMA history. So, Kos scored a few takedowns and hung out in top position for fifteen minutes. And when it was all over, Paul Daley got to his feet and popped him one.

Read More DIGG THIS

Even as an Adult, Khabib Nurmagomedov Is Still Wrestling Bears [VIDEO]


(Props: Khabib’s Instagram)

Khabib Nurmagomedov is taking his new bear-wrestler persona and running with it. The undefeated lightweight phenom just posted an Instagram video of him grappling with a chained, muzzled bear, then trying to slap a high-five with it at the end, as if the bear has any idea what he’s trying to communicate. Seems a little inhumane, but Nurmagomedov comes from a different culture, and WE MUST NOT JUDGE, right?

Speaking of cultural differences, MMAJunkie reports that the UFC originally wanted to book Nurmagomedov to fight Jim Miller on the July 16th Atlantic City UFC Fight Night card, but Nurmagomedov’s management turned it down because the fight fell on Ramadan, and the Dagestan native is a practicing Muslim. Instead, Miller will fight Donald Cerrone, and Nurmagomedov is expected to return to the Octagon by September against an opponent to be named later.

Read More DIGG THIS

Phone Thief Hijacks Josh Thomson’s Twitter and Calls Out Nick Diaz


(Photo via Getty)

It’s deja vu in the MMA world as Josh Thomson claims that his phone was stolen after his twitter issued an inflammatory call-out of Nick Diaz early this morning.

Stern words, sterner than Thomson is usually known for (unless he’s talking about gay marriage). July 26th, in case you forgot, is the date of UFC on FOX 12, located in Thomson’s hometown of San Jose.

Thomson sent out a series of tweets several hours later, claiming that his phone was stolen and that he’d never tweet such sordid things:

Read More DIGG THIS

Martial Arts Fail of the Week: “27 of the Deadliest Poison-Hand Techniques Ever Devised”

This is the jackpot, Potato Nation. It’s the most god-awful Martial Arts Fail we’ve ever seen.

Before you keep reading, watch the video. Our words can’t do it justice. It epitomizes the unfortunate but ever-present fraudulent side of martial arts. For every legitimate school teaching people how to defend themselves, there are 1,000 schools teaching the kind of complete crap in the video.

Did you watch it yet? Because you really need to.

The guy in the video is no martial artist. He’s a conman who calls himself Ashida Kim. Bullshido.net, a website dedicated to exposing martial arts fraud, performed an in-depth investigation on Kim, who’s real name is Radford W. Davis. In addition to peddling this deadly ninja master bullshit, Kim/Davis also mails out phony martial arts certifications. An investigator from Bullshido even managed to get a certificate saying he was a black belt in Vale Tudo from Kim/Davis.

Feeling like you wanna punch this guy yet? Well, he’s got a plan for that. It’s called the $10,000 Challenge, which includes such stipulations as posting a $25,000 “appearance bond” to make sure you don’t skip town as well as paying Kim $10,000 to show, as well as footing the bill for his lodging and food. Nice.

Oh, and this guy also claims he can levitate. Watch the video of him attempting to do so after the jump.

Read More DIGG THIS

The End of MMA: Don Frye Shaves His Legendary Mustache


(A portrait of an American)

Say it ain’t so, MMA fans. Don Frye, legendary bad-ass whose blood runs red, white, and blue with freedom, shaved his mustache. What crude and demonic device was capable of trimming concentrated manhood, we’ll never know. Seriously, his mustache was like bald eagles, American flags, fireworks, and guns condensed into facial hair. It was perfect! A more puzzling question is why Frye would be compelled to do something like this. At the time of writing, his twitter–which still presents an avatar bearing his wondrous stache–offers no explanation.

Now, here’s the picture of Don Frye sans mustache. We must warn you, it’s hard to take in; it isn’t for the faint of heart!

Read More DIGG THIS

Old Man Liddell Thinks He Could Have KO’d Jon Jones in His Prime, And Doesn’t Like the Way Chael Sonnen Sells Fights


(“These damn kids with their sagging pants and exposed mid-riffs. Good luck getting a job, you punk!”)

Because this weekend’s UFC 172 title fight between Jon Jones and Glover Teixeira isn’t quite interesting enough to discuss, FOX Sports’s Marc Raimondi decided to ask Teixeira’s longtime training partner Chuck Liddell how he would have done against Jones, back when he was in his prime. Chuck’s answer is both eye-rollingly delusional and totally unsurprising:

Liddell loves Jones’ overall game, but is not at all impressed with his punching power. He thinks if the two would have fought in his prime, he would have knocked Jones out.

I think I would have been a horrible matchup for him,” Liddell told FOX Sports. “I would have walked through his punches and he wouldn’t have caught me with anything…I would have found a way to hit him,” Liddell said, “and I hit too hard.

The “walked through his punches” part is my favorite; it’s just so Leben-esque. There’s a lot more I can say here, but our own Matt Saccaro beat me to it:

Those are the only correct responses. If you believe otherwise, you’re stuck in a fanboy time-warp. And Chuck? Please don’t turn into Royce Gracie. We’re begging you.

Speaking of the Iceman crapping on current UFC stars, Liddell also took some time to diss Chael Sonnen’s self-promotion routine:

Read More DIGG THIS

Must-See: This Female Slugfest From KCFA 10 Is So Bad It’s Good


(Props: KCFightingAlliance via MiddleEasy)

I don’t know if this is a sexist statement to make or whatever, but the great thing about amateur women’s MMA is that the fighters never, ever block punches. Sometimes, that can be really sad. But when the fighters are both awful evenly matched, it can be magical.

On Saturday night, amateur MMA fighter Jade Chun (the girl in the pink top) competed at Kansas City Fighting Alliance 10 against Taeler Jackson, and what Jade lacked in basic understanding of the striking arts, she made up for in heart, determination, and straight-up balls. For the first 20 seconds, the fight just looks like any other slugfest between two rookies with nothing to lose. Then, Jade’s like, “Screw it, I’m just going to throw standing hammerfists for the rest of the fight and see what happens.” She also starts using what I can only describe as “the imaginary shield defense.” It is glorious.

Eventually, Chun gets her lip split wide open by the marginally more competent punches coming from Jackson. Chun spits her own blood — angry, like Bruce Lee — and applies more and more pressure, and fires uglier and uglier punch-like-thingys, until Jackson is KO’d in a heap against the fence. The fight is a true underdog story, played out in less than five minutes. It’s probably the worst thing you’ll see today, but in a weird way, it might be the most inspiring. We are all Jade Chun, just plugging away, trying our best to succeed despite our total lack of ability. Sometimes tough is enough.

Read More DIGG THIS

Rousey vs. Mayweather: The MMA vs. Boxing Debate Finally Hits Rock-Bottom


(Joe Rogan talks Rousey vs. Mayweather on ESPN’s SportsNation, because it’s not like there was an actual event worth discussing or anything.)

By Jared Jones

I must be confused.

You see, when I awoke yesterday morning, I was under the impression that MMA was still a sport with plenty of goings-on worth talking about, not a platform so desolate of intriguing discussion that its only current purpose in this world was to push energy drinks and stir up farcical “Who would win?” scenarios like a goddamn episode of Deadliest Warrior. “There are *two* UFC events alone going down this week,” I said to myself, “Not to mention an *actual* TUF premiere, a Bellator event, and who knows what else. Surely there is plenty of real-life, newsworthy information to be had today.”

So you can imagine my surprise when I awoke to find “Joe Rogan says Ronda Rousey would beat Floyd Mayweather Jr.” as the headline dominating many an MMA site and even some that aren’t. And even worse, nearly all of these articles were flooded with the hundreds of comments from people who actually found it necessary to offer their insight into this absolutely imbecilic piece of non-news. (Rousey vs. a cheetah in sweatpants: Who’s the better dancer?”)

“Every fight starts standing, and we all know Floyd’s not afraid to hit women,” joked a commenter who vehemently expressed his outrage over the idea of allowing Fallon Fox to continue fighting just months earlier. “Floyd’s speed would be no match for Ronda’s armbar,” said another who had chastised his favorite MMA publication for daring to waste his time with a breakdown of the Undertaker’s signature move days prior.

I bit my tongue at first, because I don’t exactly have a foot to stand on when it comes to publishing news items that are ever-so-tangentially related to MMA. But the tipping point occurred during last night’s TUF Nations Finale broadcast, when during yet another time-killing session in the FOX studios, Karyn Bryant posed the same question to Daniel Cormier and Anthony Pettis.

“This is ridiculous,” said Pettis before declaring that Floyd would easily win. Unfortunately, it appeared that the idea of a woman beating a man in a fight was what Pettis found ridiculous, not the question itself as I had hoped.

Read More DIGG THIS
CagePotatoMMA