Steroids in MMA
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“Adventures in Ronda Rousey Land” Is The Weirdest/Greatest Fanboy Video of All Time


(I’m just sayin’, Whatever this is > Those “Step Into Our World” posters.)

If there’s one thing we’ve learned about MMA fan art over the years, it’s that more often than not, it takes a turn for the captivating, the hilariously awful, or the just plain creepy. Though no two pieces of MMA art are the same, at the root of them all is usually a highly disturbed, manically-depressed individual crying out for help and/or a pack of UFC trading cards.

Today’s entry, however, is something of an entirely new breed. It’s what some would call “avant-garde”; combining equal parts Transformers cartoon and Tim and Eric sketch with some of the most proficient Microsoft Paint skills ever put on display. It’s goddamn glorious to be completely frank. Tweeted out by Eddie Bravo yesterday, “Adventures in Ronda Rousey Land” is one of the most brilliantly-retarded things you or I will ever see, so do yourself a favor and check it out after the jump.

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Let’s Talk About Dude Wipes for a Minute (or Several Minutes)


(“Official sponsor of Tyron Woodley at UFC 174 (logo on the ass, of course)” / Photo via DudeProducts.com)

If you missed UFC 174 last night, count yourself lucky. It was a terrible card that saw fans literally flocking out of the arena in droves before the main event–a fight where flyweight champ Demetrious Johnson defended his belt against Ali Bagautinov–even ended.

But there was one saving grace: Dude Wipes.

No, really. Tyron Woodley had an ad for Dude Wipes plastered on his ass (which was intentional placement by Dude Products, makers of Dude Wipes). Within minutes, “Dude Wipes” was trending worldwide on Twitter. What, pray tell, is a Dude Wipe? Here’s the story, according to the founders:

Whether it was some unexpected physical activity or the aftermath of the lunchtime burrito, we realized, as guys, we are destined to smell. Something needed to be done. So on behalf of Dudekind [Editor's note: Ugh] we created The Award Winning Dude Wipes™ to combat stank and put you back on your game wherever or whenever nature calls. 

If you’re still wiping with just toilet paper, you’re a chump and your ass hates you for it. Any red-blooded American knows Dude Wipes™ are something you never leave the crib without.

Dude Products even created some promotional material:

Being the disheveled, grubby, low-minded, basement dwelling neckbeards we are, Dude Wipes sounded right up our alley! We wanted to buy a pack of the dudeliest wipes on Earth and review them for all MMA fans. Alas, after making a perilous trek through Father’s Day traffic to FOUR separate stores, we couldn’t find any (and we weren’t asking a clerk to check for fucking Dude Wipes).

So instead of reviewing them ourselves, we’re going to post reviews from Amazon–both positive and negative.

Let’s start it off with the most glowing reviews…

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BREAKING: Chael Sonnen Fails Random Drug Test, Will Not Fight Vitor Belfort at UFC 175


(First hypogonadism, and now breast cancer? Poor guy can’t catch a break. / Photo via Getty)

As first broken by ESPN’s Brett Okamoto, UFC fighter/FOX Sports analyst Chael Sonnen has been pulled from his scheduled UFC 175 fight against Vitor Belfort, after a random drug test administered last month in Las Vegas came back positive for a pair of unapproved hormone regulators.

Nevada State Athletic Commission chairman Francisco Aguilar confirmed that Sonnen’s test showed the presence of Anastrozole and Clomiphene. Anastrozole is a non-steroidal estrogen-blocker used primarily to treat women following breast cancer surgery, as well as in the treatment of ovarian cancer. Clomiphene is an selective estrogen receptor commonly used as a fertility drug to induce ovulation, and is used to treat men who are coming off testosterone replacement therapy, as Sonnen was. Clomiphene is also the drug that jiu-jitsu champion Gabi Garcia was busted for following the 2013 BJJ World Championships.

According to ESPN, Sonnen likely faces a suspension, and is not expected to file an appeal. Sonnen is scheduled to address his drug-test failure today on FOX. We’ll keep you updated.

In a way, Chael’s removal from UFC 175 is the most appropriate end to the Sonnen vs. Belfort matchup, which was the the most drug-clouded booking imaginable. Essentially, you had a confirmed testosterone abuser facing a former steroid user (and confirmed testosterone abuser), because another fighter dodged a drug test, and now it’s dead, because of drugs.

From the information we have, it appears that Sonnen was trying to get his body’s testosterone production back to normal, and couldn’t quite do it without some extra help. (Perhaps getting off TRT cold-turkey and returning to fighting shape so quickly was an impossible task in the first place.) A forced time-out might be the best thing for Sonnen’s health at this point; then again, it could also signal the end of his career. The question is, will Vitor Belfort remain on the UFC 175 card? And if so, against who?

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Watch a Bellator Cameraman Perv Out on a Female Fan [GIF]

We’ve seen lots of stuff in MMA. Some good. Some bad. Some disgusting.

This GIF is a combination of all three, perhaps. During the Bellator 121 prelims, a cameraman zoomed in on a woman’s upper torso in a way that made their not-so-honorable intentions clear. Check it out after the jump (and h/t to Zombie Prophet):

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Wanderlei Silva Gets Booed at TUF Brazil 3 Finale; End Times Are Upon Us [VIDEO]


(Props: r/MMA)

So it’s come to this: Chael Sonnen is a Brazilian hero, and the mere mention of Wanderlei Silva‘s name spurs a chorus of boos from a Brazilian crowd. The insane moment shown above happened at the TUF Brazil 3 Finale yesterday in Sao Paulo, following Antonio Carlos Jr.’s win over Vitor Miranda. Despite sharing his side of the story, Wanderlei has apparently become a villain among his own people for torpedoing the Sonnen fight due to an allegedly dodged drug test. Can the Axe Murderer ever come back from such disgrace, or will he spend the rest of his days banished to the deserts of Las Vegas?

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Watch the Pilot Episode of Luke Cummo’s Web Series “Dino & Digger”

Luke Cummo, former UFC fighter and passionate advocate against MMA, has returned to YouTube.

You might recall that last Cummo was in the MMA headlines, he was making crazy videos of himself chanting “Uh huh, Optimus. Uh huh, Optimus” over and over again as if he were trying to summon the Autobot into this world. Then the videos took a darker turn as the police started pursuing him for allegedly ditching court and sending his wife threatening emails.

All that nastiness seems to be over now, however. Cummo is back to making head-scratching videos. A perfect example: The above video, a pilot episode of a series seemingly invented by Cummo. It stars a dinosaur named “Mega” and a bulldozer/transformer named “Z-tech.” The duo protects future world leaders kind of like how the Terminator protects John Connor on Terminator 2.

Check out another episode of the show and another wild video after the jump.

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BREAKING: Wanderlei Silva Out, Vitor Belfort In Against Sonnen at UFC 175


(And just like that, Wandy disappeared in a cloud of smoke, his greatest April Fools prank of all times in the books.)

According to Brazilian outlet Combate, the twice-delayed grudge match between TUF Brazil 3 coaches Wanderlei Silva and Chael Sonnen tentatively scheduled for UFC 175 has finally reached its breaking point. Wanderlei has no-showed for his pre-fight medical exams with NSAC, and somehow, been replaced by Vitor Belfort against Sonnen in the evening’s co-main event:

The card for UFC 175 on Wednesday suffered a decent turn of screenplays. After starring with Chael Sonnen moments of biggest rivalry TUF Brazil 3, Wanderlei Silva ’s out of the fight against the U.S. that would loudmouth in the July 5 event in Las Vegas. 

The Combate.com found that his replacement will be none other than Vitor Belfort, who returns to work for the UFC in Las Vegas, after all the controversy involving his name and the use of TRT (Testosterone Replacement Therapy). The fight between Chael Sonnen and Vitor Belfort remains the penultimate event, which will feature two title fights: the weights of female-cocks between Ronda Rousey and Alexis Davis, and the weight-average, between Lyoto Machida and Chris Weidman.

OK, I feel as if something might have been lost in translation there (female-cocks, LOL!).

How Vitor Belfort has suddenly been licensed to fight is anyone’s guess. A month ago to the day, Dana White stated that Belfort “had a lot of work to do” before he would be approved for a license in the wake of the TRT ban, and that the approval process “doesn’t happen just like that.” Further muddling things are the rumors currently running rampant that the fight will be held at 205 lbs yet serve as a #1 contender fight for the middleweight title. Welcome to the wacky world of MMA, ladies and gentlemen.

We will have more on this insane story as it develops.

-J. Jones

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GIF of the Day: College Wrestler/Possible Samurai Josh Llopez Scores a Brilliant Cartwheel-To-Double-Leg-Takedown


(Props: BloodyElbow)

If Brian Ebersole has taught us anything, it’s that a successfully executed mid-fight cartwheel (and some finely-sculpted body hair) can lead to instant notoriety in the world of combat sports. Clearly a follower of Ebersole’s career, Josh Llopez of the Maryland Renegades understood the near 100% cartwheel-to-Internet-glory turnover ratio, and used an off-season wrestling match to cement his name in the annals of college wrestling history with this absolutely insane cartwheel to double leg takedown.

Truthfully, we lack the necessary wrestling know-how to determine whether Llopez’s move was merely a brilliant act of trolling/showboating or a “legitimate” move used to set up his takedown. In either case, it worked, and it was easily the smoothest thing we’ve seen on the wrestling mat since Rasul Chunayev Azerbaijani’s dance celebration.

Just sayin’, if Ben Askren started doing sh*t like this, he’d be signed by the UFC yesterday.

-J. Jones

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PageviewPotato: See Floyd Mayweather In a Real Street Fight

Here’s a video of Floyd Mayweather apparently engaging in a brawl with some rapper called TI at a Las Vegas Fatburger. We say apparently because all you can really see is Mayweather yelling and then a bunch of chairs and tables flying around. It’s a shame the video is inconclusive regarding Mayweather’s street fighting acumen, we were legitimately dying to know how he’d fare against Ronda Rousey. You can also see Mayweather’s sweet ride at the end of the video. According to TMZ, a restaurant employee was “slashed” during the melee.

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Martial Arts Fail of the Week: Pagan Ninja Prostitute Teaches You How to Make a Smokescreen

We really wish we had more to say about this week’s Martial Arts Fail, PotatoNation. But the video and the headline sort of speak for themselves. It’s a ninja who happens to be a witch, a pagan, and an escort (according to her extremely NSFW twitter). In the above video she does some cool ninja moves of dubious real life effectiveness and teaches you how to make a smokescreen.

The below video has some more intense ninja training (sword fights, fire, scaling buildings, throwing stars, and even an arm-bar) and it can be seen after the jump.

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