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Insanity - Page 9

BREAKING: Tito Ortiz Off Bellator PPV Card With Neck Injury, No Longer “The Healthiest He’s Ever Been” [UPDATED]


(The reason was to avoid another unnecessary ass-kicking, Tito. DUH. Via Ortiz’s instagram.)

Hey, you guys? Oh my God, you guys. You guys are never going to believe this shit. It appears that Tito Ortiz’s neck has once again collapsed under the weight of his massive head (via MMAFighting):

Bellator’s inaugural pay-per-view has been hit by the injury bug.

Tito Ortiz suffered a neck injury in training which will keep him out of next weekend’s fight against Quinton Jackson, according to sources with knowledge of the situation.

Bellator is currently seeking a replacement for Ortiz, and it is unclear at this time whether Jackson will remain on the Nov. 2 card. There is a chance next weekend’s pay-per-view card turns into a Spike show with Jackson being moved to another event.

Well, at least Tito didn’t wait until 3 days after the fight to announce that he had been injured the whole time. It’s what we like to call “progress.” But seriously, bathroom selfie or it didn’t happen.

[UPDATE] Bellator sheds some light on the status of their PPV (via Twitter) after the jump…

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Bold Statement of the Day: Junior Dos Santos Could Beat Both Klitschkos — In Boxing! — With a Four-Month Camp


(Dos Santos went on to claim that Hayden Panettiere “could get it.” / Photo via Getty)

It’s no big mystery why MMA fighters from Anderson Silva to Quinton Jackson have voiced their desires to transition into boxing. For one thing, the potential paydays are bigger. (In theory at least, though not necessarily for guys like Silva and Rampage, who aren’t draws in boxing.) Also, there’s no chance that a half-feral Brazilian will tear your knee off in a boxing match. I’m not saying that boxing is easier than MMA, but you don’t have to worry about takedown defense, and nobody expects you to cut 25 pounds of water to be “competitive.” Sounds like a vacation compared to what MMA fighters have to go through.

But of course, boxing and MMA are completely different sports, being great at one doesn’t mean you’d be great at the other, blah blah blah, etc. I mean you’d have to be a total fucking moron to think you can just cross the combat sports Mason-Dixon line and start beating champions, right? Right?? Well somebody needs to send that memo to UFC heavyweight title contender Junior Dos Santos, who just threw down the gauntlet in facepalm-worthy fashion, claiming that he has the skills to beat Wladimir Klitschko and Vitali Klitschko at their own game.

“I think if they give me four months to get prepared, I can beat them,” Dos Santos said on The MMA Hour yesterday. “In the beginning of my all my camps, I do just boxing. I love to train boxing and I think I have enough skills in boxing. I know how to see a good fight. Four months, that’s what I need.”

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Regrettable Tweet of the Day: Conor McGregor’s Three-Way Sex Fantasy, Featuring the TUF 18 Coaches and Toe-Oral [UPDATED]


(Like a BOSS. / Screen-cap via @TheNotoriousMMA)

Irish rising star Conor McGregor is having quite an eventful year: He’s already had his first UFC victory and his first debilitating knee injury — and his first forced apology might be right around the corner.

The tweet above is what happened when a fan asked the fun-lovin’ featherweight a relatively harmless question about who he fancied more, Ronda Rousey or Miesha Tate. And man did he knock this one out of the park. Eric Holden is crying and masturbating in your honor, sir.

To be honest, the most offensive thing about this tweet is the way McGregor sticks all the extra S’s at the end of “toes,” like he’s some over-excited teenage girl who can’t wait to get the new iPhone you guyssssssss!!! I fucking hate that shit. The real question is, which TUF 18 coach would be on toe-duty?

Update: And here’s that apology

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MMA in the Wild, Pt. 4: The Griffin vs. Bonnar of Kangaroo Fights Ends in Rear-Naked Choke


(Props: bax05 via Potato Nation soldier Ruben Vera)

For once, our “MMA in the Wild” tag isn’t just a metaphor for unsanctioned yard-fights between rednecks. This terrifying footage was taken in New South Wales, Australia, back in 2010, and features the most savage ‘roo-on-’roo fight we’ve ever seen. Long known as the best pure strikers in the animal kingdom, kangaroos have apparently added Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu to their combat arsenal. Humankind, your days are numbered.

For over four long minutes, these two jacked-up marsupials trade belly kicks and head slaps, neither one giving an inch. At the video’s 4:15 mark, one of the ‘roos stumbles to the ground and the other immediately sets upon him with soccer kicks and stomps. The grounded fighter tries to get back to its feet, escapes a front head-lock, and pulls guard. But when it tries to go upright again, it leaves its neck hanging out, and the other kangaroo sinks the rear-naked choke with startling ease.

There are no referees in the animal kingdom, and a tap will not grant you mercy; there is only the cold, brutal reality of nature. The winner squeezes the life out of the loser, and at the 5:17 mark, the winner realizes that he’s been filmed the whole time by two of those…what do you call them…ah yes, humans. It’s a tense moment. Finally, the kangaroo decides that one kill was enough for today, and hobbles off to recover from the battle.

The kangaroo apocalypse is coming. You’ve been warned.

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Obviously, James Thompson Only Fought Alistair Overeem Because He Was Broke and Desperate


(I know what you’re thinking, Alistair, and yes, that shirt is breathtaking. / Photo via Sherdog)

As we’ve seen so many times before in MMA, some fights only come together out of total desperation. When Alistair Overeem was booked against James Thompson for DREAM’s “White Cage” event in October 2009, we rolled our eyes at the prospect of yet another Japanese squash match. At the time, Overeem was steadily building his reputation as the scariest heavyweight outside of the UFC, while Thompson had suffered stoppage defeats in his last four fights. Why in God’s name would anybody think this was a good idea?

Well, nobody else would fight Overeem, for one thing. Also, Thompson had gambled away all his money and the bank was going to take away his ex-girlfriend’s house. Thompson explains the whole sordid affair in a two-part column with Fightland, which you can (and should) read here and here. Here’s an excerpt:

**********

I was living in London and training at London Shoot fighters. Well, I say “training”; it was more like the idea of training that would quickly dissipate into nothingness at the sight of the bookies (gambling establishment) and that’s were you’d find me surrounded by other hopeless souls — human-ish males all queuing up to feed what little money they have into the never-ending abyss that separates you from much more than the money you feed in, in hope it spits more money (aka “hope”) back out at you. It wasn’t the best of times for me, to say the least, and the phone call I received next wouldn’t be improving said situation

It was from my ex (my fiancée now) Graz Merlino, aka the Merlean. I was in the bookies and winning, so at the time I was in a good mood, so I took the call (small note: Fellas, if you’re in a good mood, the chances of talking to your ex and that mood improving or even maintaining are slim to none). The Merlean started to explain to me that the bank had sent her papers saying they had mistakenly paid me too much money (which I’d gambled away), and since her name was on my account (part of a failed attempt to make it harder for me to gamble), they were now in the process of taking one of her assets, i.e., her house.

I don’t want to go into this too much as there’s no need, and it gets complicated, but the crux of the matter was the Merlean had tried to help me and now might lose her house because if it. We’d split up due to my gambling and I’d really put her though it—and when I say “it,” think about a shitter version of hell.

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‘WTF?’ Video of the Year Candidate: Brazilian Fighter Quits Match by Jumping Out of Cage, Leaving Arena


(Props: Zona de Ataque)

OK, watch the above video and please tell us if you can figure out what in the Sam Hell just happened. Evilasio Silva and Claudinei Angelo met at JF Fight Evolution in Juiz de Fora, Brazil, on Saturday and things were going as MMA fights normally do — both men fighting inside an enclosed space — until, for some reason, Angelo decided he had had enough.

“When Angelo clearly spat his mouthpiece to recover from the punches, the referee refused to stop the fight,” wrote MMA Fighting’s Guilherme Cruz, who first brought this strange fight to our attention. “Angelo went on and asked for a ‘time out.’ Silva and [the referee] didn’t understand what he was asking for, but Angelo decided to quit. The door was locked, so his only way out was jumping off the fence and leaving the arena.”

And, he did. Now, we didn’t see the entire match and Cruz has more description of what happened before Angelo decided to hit splitsville, but it doesn’t seem as if the quitting fighter was upset about some supposed unrecognized fouls on the part of his opponent or anything like that.

Angelo simply broke free from the clinch, tried to call a time out by making the sign with his hands that is universally recognized in sports where participants are actually allowed to call time outs, tried to open up the cage, and when that failed, he climbed the chain-link and then walked out of the arena. As Angelo did that, boos cascaded down on him from the confused crowd.

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Wanderlei Silva Angrily Confronts Chael Sonnen, Vlogs About It Afterwards


(Props: wandfightteam)

Confrontations are to be expected at the Mr. Olympia Expo. At least, that seems like a rational assumption when you pack an area with men competing against each other, jacked to their gills on various forms of illicit testosterone and innumerable other chemicals. Maybe it generally results in a flex-off, or two behemoths bellowing in their guttural voices as they proceed to lay waste to each other like a pair of elephant seals. In short, it’s a great venue for empty alpha-male posturing, which made it perfect for the WWE-style confrontation that Wanderlei Silva arranged to psyche out his hypothetical future opponent (and #1 Least Favorite Person) Chael Sonnen.

We first caught wind of this incident last night when Larry Pepe released a highly pixelated video — apparently captured on the camera phone from his 1989 Motorola DynaTAC — of Silva being restrained from assaulting (but not from yelling at) Sonnen, who is more than happy to return verbal fire. It’s almost impossible to ascertain what was said from that, unless someone out there can translate 144p, but it was reasonable to assume that they did not exchange pleasantries.

Fortunately, Wanderlei provided some clarification when he posted his latest batshit video blog concerning the incident. In it, we see exactly what was said between the two — there’s some naughty language involved, if you can believe it, as well as a substantial amount of finger pointing courtesy of the Axe Murderer, who is convinced that he saw fear in Chael’s eyes. Given that Sonnen is still scheduled to fight Rashad Evans in November, it’s going to be a while before this match gets made, if it does at all. That said, hopefully the UFC can put to rest the “will they?”/”won’t they?” simmering tension between the two, and let them have at it in the Octagon. There’s only so much we can take of Wanderlei Silva screaming at us over heavy metal guitar-shredding before we begin to mentally snap.

- George Shunick

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Video Challenge: Watch This 13-Second Leg Break Without Throwing Up, Win a Free Hat


(The screams…dear God the screams. Video via reddit/MMA.)

The fighter: Frank “Bam Bam” Bloise, making his professional MMA debut.
The event: Panama Fight League – Ultimate Combat Challenge 11

There are no free hats.

-J. Jones

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[VIDEO] Jon Jones’ First Pitch at Blue Jays vs. Yankees Game *Barely* Misses Strike Zone


(“I hear Robinson Cano is the future of the ,” via @JonnyBones)

With only a few days before a light heavyweight title defense that’s, shall we say, less than exhilarating on paper, UFC light heavyweight kingpin Jon Jones did some last-second promotion for the fight by throwing out the first pitch at last night’s Blue Jays vs. Yankees game in Toronto. If you follow baseball, you may recall that Jones threw out the first pitch during a Padres game before fighting Vladimir Matyushenko, so this wasn’t a completely random experience for him. Plus with UFC 165 taking place in the city this weekend, it was a good opportunity to get the locals fired up for the event.

So how’d he do throwing out the ceremonial first pitch? Well, let’s just say that Jones admitted that he “didn’t practice much” beforehand, so try not to be too hard on him. That video, courtesy of UFC.com, is after the jump.

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TUF 18 Episode 3 Recap: Romance, Liquor and Mad-Dogging Are in the Air


(Chicks. Pro fighters. Bar. Fighting. Sweet)

By Elias Cepeda

Last night’s episode of The Ultimate Fighter 18 kicked off with some delicious fatness as Coach Miesha Tate delivers treats to last week’s fighters. Her BFF Julianna Pena gets a milk shake and, remembering that she told her how much she loves cake, Miesha brings Team Rousey’s Shayna Baszler some chocolate cake.

Miesha keeps it classy and magnanimous, boys and girls. Though she doesn’t look too happy when Shayna, her former roommate, tells her that Ronda Rousey has won her over a bit.

Julianna doesn’t seem to be making many friends in the house. The underdog won big last week and helped her team, but almost everyone interviewed seems to say that she annoys them.

Maybe it’s the fake British accent she’s adopted and refuses to drop. This week, Julianna’s teammate Chris Holdsworth is taking on Chris Beal, who was chosen by Tate to fight next because he has an injured hand.

Ronda is still furious at the pussy-ass bullshit move and insists that Beal will beat Holdsworth with one hand. Before that can happen, however, Cody meets with Coach Tate and her mascot/assistant coach/boyfriend/manager/suitcase pimp/fellow UFC bantamweight Bryan Caraway to tell them that he believes there’s a mole on their team.

He thinks that it is Julianna. Bryan seems to agree.

Apparently Team Rousey’s Jessamyn Duke guessed all the matchups that Team Tate had laid out as their number one choices. Of course, this means that Julianna, who is friends with Tate and trains with her, told Team Rousey the plan.

Why? Well, she’s already fought so she doesn’t care about what happens to the rest of the team, according to Cody.

When he confronts Julianna with the accusation, which he somehow says isn’t an accusation, she denies it but when others pile on, she suggests that perhaps Roxanne Modafferi, who rooms with Team Rousey ladies, shared the top secret info.

Roxanne flatly denies it and her team jumps to her aid, one of them calling her “a fucking Samurai” who would never stoop so low.

The Part Where We Learn Chris Holdsworth is a Smooth Operator

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