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Insanity - Page 9

Diego Sanchez Blames UFC 171 Loss to Myles Jury on Raw Quail Egg


(Sanchez grimaces as the raw meat works its intestinal magic. / Photo via Getty)

You read the headline right. Diego Sanchez took to twitter earlier today to explain why he lost to Miles Jury at UFC 171. It wasn’t due to age, strategy, or simply fighting from a previous era. No, the culprit was steak tartare with a side of raw quail egg:

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Daniel Straus Had to Cut His Damn Dreads Off to Make 145 Pounds at Yesterday’s Bellator Weigh-Ins


(Well that’s a shame. / Photo via Anthony Mazzuca)

Tonight in Hammond, Indiana, Bellator featherweight champion Daniel Straus will make his first title-defense in a rubber-match against Pat Curran, the guy he won the title from in November. But just making weight for the fight turned into a harrowing test of Straus’s character. Expecting to come in a little over the 145-pound limit, Straus chopped his own dreads off backstage to help shed some ounces. The raggedy aftermath is what you see above.

At weigh-ins, Straus immediately stripped down and got behind a towel — and he was still a half-pound over. Luckily, Straus was able to shed the extra weight with some additional time, and tonight’s title fight will proceed as scheduled. But between Straus’s new hairstyle and the sudden removals of War Machine and Joe Riggs, the Bellator 112 poster has become one of the most outdated and inaccurate posters in MMA history. It’s a crazy world, man. Everything is subject to change.

The official Bellator 112 weigh-in results are after the jump…

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Interview: Casey Oxendine Explains Why Hip Show Is an Evolution in Combat Sports, Not a Freak Show


(Props: AXS TV)

You may know Casey Oxendine as the MMA: Inside the Cage co-host with the most hated-on goatee in sports media. (If that doesn’t ring a bell, maybe you remember the “referee KO’s cornerman after fight” video we posted a while back. Yep, that was him too.) A longtime crusader for MMA regulation and awareness both locally and globally, Casey has signed on as co-host and American promoter for Hip Show: Arena Combat, the Russian 2-on-2 fight league that will make its North American broadcast debut on AXS TV this Friday, March 14th.

Although Hip Show has been building a strong fanbase in Russia since 2012, not everybody is on board with team-based MMA on an obstacle course. When we first announced our sponsorship of the 3/14 broadcast, we were hit with numerous negative comments from readers who called Hip Show a “spectacle,” “freak-show crap,” and ”absolutely unacceptable to anyone who respects combat sports.” We called up Casey last week to discuss why team-fighting isn’t as crazy as it seems, the irony of MMA fans calling it a novelty act, and his current efforts to hold Hip Show events in the U.S.

Whether you think Hip Show looks badass or you think it’s a sign of the end-times, please tune in to AXS TV this Friday night at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT and give it a chance. (You can also follow the league on Twitter and Facebook.) Now on to the interview…

CAGEPOTATO: How did you and Cyrus Fees get this gig in the first place? Did you approach Hip Show to work on an English-language broadcast, or did they approach you?

CASEY OXENDINE: We saw Hip Show about a year ago, and we were like, “Wow, this is the craziest thing we’ve ever witnessed in our lives.” We started to get in contact with them because of our show MMA: Inside the Cage — we wanted to cover it, and to talk with them about exactly what we were seeing. They wanted to take this thing bigger than just Russia, where it’s been extremely popular. So through that course of action, we began repackaging a lot of their first-season footage into episodes and so forth to get it aired here in America, so that the English-speaking [market] could understand what was going on. From there, it evolved into what it is now.

We got in touch with [AXS TV Fights CEO] Andrew Simon — Cyrus had worked as a ring announcer for XFC on AXS TV — Andrew took a look at it and he’s like, “Man, this is really cool.” Then Andrew cleared it through Mark Cuban himself, which was really neat, and they said, “Go for it. We’re going to give you a two-hour special, let’s show the world what this is all about.”

What made you think that Hip Show had the potential to be more than just a novelty act?

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Aw, Hell No: Grappler Submits and Vomits After Being Farted on at NAGA Tournament [VIDEO!]


(Props: Mike mons via Filmdrunk)

Having never competed in no-gi grappling in my life, I can’t speak to the legalities of busting farts while an opponent is working in your guard. It seems like it should be illegal. And yet, a competitor at NAGA Vegas Grappling Championship actually scored a submission victory via horrible gas on Saturday. It must have been some truly repugnant stuff, too, because as you can see at the 0:07-0:10 mark, the loser taps out and then vomits all over the mat.

“He farted in my face,” the dude in the black rashguard tells the ref. “You farted in my face, man,” he tells his opponent. Then, he dutifully begins cleaning up his own barf with a paper towel.

We usually don’t like making sweeping statements like this so early in the year, but “Grappler Submits to Fart, Then Vomits” is a guaranteed Potato Award winner, maybe in multiple categories. You’ve just witnessed history, folks.

Related — Horrible Video of the Day: Projectile-Vomiting MMA Fighter

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Martial Arts Fail of the Week: How A Ninja Passes the Guard

This week’s Martial Arts Fail was going to re-visit Master Wong—the man who warned us that eye pokes would result in our families being murdered. But midway through the week we received a tip from CagePotato contributor Adam Ackerman. When we watched the video he sent us, we knew it had to be this week’s Martial Arts Fail.

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Why Can’t War Machine Just Get a Motherf*ckin Slurpee? [VIDEO]


(Warning: Language is waaaaaay NSFWProps: YouTube.com/AlphaMaleShit)

Along with his recently launched Alpha Male Shit clothing line, War Machine‘s media empire now includes a YouTube channel where he rants in his car about strangers who he would have beaten up if he wasn’t on probation. War’s latest video blog is above, and it officially places him in the pantheon of batshit car-rant Hall of Famers like Dan Quinn and Nick Diaz.

Here’s the basic premise: WM goes to a 7-11 to satisfy a Slurpee craving, and the clerk on duty immediately asks him to lower his hoodie, since that’s become a rule in places that are often robbed. Not a huge fan of rules in general, War Machine refuses, and literally uses the phrase “I thought this was America.” Another 7-11 worker threatens to call the cops, so War Machine dumps his Slurpee on the floor in protest — you know, like a child would — then leaves. Re-telling the story fills War Machine with the kind of barely contained rage that Werner Herzog should be narrating over.

War Machine gets himself scarily amped up to obtain a Slurpee at a different 7-11 location. He leaves his phone in the car, still recording (“I don’t want evidence in case I freak out”), and then disappears for an agonizingly long two minutes. Anything could be happening in those two minutes. When he returns with his Slurpee, it’s a relief for everyone. The guy who sold War Machine that Slurpee didn’t know how close he came.

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Martial Arts Fail of the Week: How to Stomp Out a Wrestler

Remember those idiots who taught us BJJ’s five fatal weaknesses (spaz punches and bright red pants being chief among them)?

Well, they’re back. This time, the same “school”—Combatant Extreme Self Defense—is taking on wrestling.

And it’s legit…or at least legit in the sense that the guys who peddle this crap actually believe it works. It doesn’t though. There are more things wrong with this takedown “defense” than are wrong with Vitor Belfort‘s sudden removal from his UFC 173 title bout against Chris Weidman. Let’s just say this: Count yourself lucky if you wind up in a street fight with a “wrestler” who opts to grab your rear leg on a single leg takedown, let alone make thousands of other mistakes.

Stay tuned for next week’s traditional martial art’s fail, where another favorite from the past will be telling us how to defeat boxing with deadly street smarts.

If you see any video that’s good (or bad) enough to make the cut, let us know! Send it to tips@cagepotato.com.

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A Brief History of the Insane Sh*t Nick Diaz Has Said in Interviews [w/Reaction Gifs]

It’s a testament to Nick Diaz the fighter that Nick Diaz the person can continue to make headlines with his ridiculous statements despite retiring from the sport almost a year ago. Or maybe it’s a testament to the nadir of journalism present in today’s MMA landscape, but in any case, Stockton’s finest is once again attempting to use his retirement as a bargaining chip, telling Fox Sports in a recent interview that he would consider returning to MMA, but only for an immediate title shot:

I don’t care, I’m talking about a title fight matchup. Bottom line, I’m the only draw here. Bottom line. We had like the third biggest [pay-per-view]. That wasn’t just because of Georges St-Pierre. And these guys aren’t doing that. People want to pay to see me fight, they want to see someone get knocked out or someone get tapped out, or they want to see me get my ass whooped like they’ve been waiting to see but they still don’t get to see.

I’ve been fighting for 11 years. I already did all those [contender] fights. I don’t have to take a warmup fight. Why would I take a warmup fight? To help somebody out? To bring them to my level? I’ve already been through all that and you still didn’t see me take an ass whipping.

While Dana White has publicly squashed this notion already, MMA fans and pundits alike have already taken to hyping the “inevitable” return of Diaz to the UFC. Because like the man himself said, he is a draw. That doesn’t change the fact, however, that Diaz’s understanding of how one achieves a title shot is absolute nonsense.

Come to think of it, the statement above is just the latest in what has been a career filled with borderline insane ramblings on Diaz’s part. Join us after the jump to see what we mean…

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Martial Arts Fail of the Week: Defeat Bullies by Slapping Their Balls (We’re Not Kidding)


(If you wear socks like the male instructor, you will ALWAYS be bullied)

Ever been bullied?

If so, how did you stop your grade-school foes? Did you beat them up with a hat? Stymie them with thousands of spaz punches? Use the force?

What about slapping them in the nuts? What, you’ve never done that!? According to this week’s martial arts fail, that’s one of the key techniques in the fight against bullying.

Seriously, you need to watch this video. Here’s just a short highlight reel of what it includes:

-Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.
-The defense for the all-too-powerful “you’ve got something on your shirt” maneuver.
-”Stun techniques and dirty tricks.”
-Pulling someones hair and then doing absolutely nothing to follow it up.
-Groin-slapping.
-Throwing candy in someone’s face as a self-defense move (I wish I was making this part up).

Please watch the video, it’ll be worth it. We promise. This is the exact kind of horrific, “self-defense” advice that Ben Goldstein and I sought to destroy when we were storming dojos back in the 90s, testing our SAFTA. But as we got up there in years, we decided to purge martial chicanery with articles on a middling MMA website rather than with our fists.

Enjoy!

Thanks to CagePotato reader James Hays for sending us this video. If you see any video that’s good (or bad) enough to make the cut, let us know! Send it to tips@cagepotato.com

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Martial Arts Fail of the Week: The Hat Is Mightier Than the Sword

Our friends at Break.com made a great discovery that we’re happy to present as our Martial Arts Fail of the Week: A guy named James Keating who peddles hat-based self defense techniques.

The hat in question, or rather a “SAP CAP” is special. Keating himself wrote all about it:

The term SAP refers to a flexible, weighted impact device. A common sock (stocking) filled with sand is a crude form of sap. The weighted leather – flexible saps are used by some police units even today. The SAP CAP reflects this idea, but in a form less recognizable as an item of defense. And in today’s world this aspect is a real plus!

The basic idea behind using the sap cap is very simple. Reach up with one hand, grab the bill of the cap and the swing it off your head toward your intended target. Any number of angles, lines and moves can be incorporated. You’ve basically got a flexible club in your mitts, use it as such. 

To put it in less suburban ninja terms, it’s basically a baseball cap filled with BBs. Cool.

The guy also sells videos of how to fight with a tomahawk. In addition to this, he’s a fan of compliant wrist lock drills that magically render the opponent unable to hit you with his other arm, as well as other crap that would only work in The Matrix.

You can check out his YouTube channel here. It’s filled with 21-foot-rule guy type nonsense.

If you see any video that’s good (or bad) enough to make the cut, let us know! Send it to tips@cagepotato.com

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