Misc.

(Cyrus Fees: The Genki Sudo of MMA announcers. / Props: MMAInsidetheCageTV. R.I.P. Adam Yauch)

- UFCs Dana White Talks Jon Jones DWI Meeting, Draws Comparisons With ‘Professional’ Anderson Silva (MMA Mania)

- Roy Nelson: If Brock Lesnar Deserves to Be in the Hall of Fame, So Do I (MMAFighting)

- Bleacher Report Hangs Out With Stefan Struve (BleacherReport/MMA)

- Mayhem Miller Wants to Show You How Hard He Prepared for CB Dollaway at UFC 146 (MiddleEasy)

- Junior Dos Santos: “When My Fists Talk For Me, Everybody Understands” (MMA: Inside The Cage)

- Ben Fowlkes and Chad Dundas Have a New Podcast (The Co-Main Event)

- Dana White Talks Retirement After UFC-FOX Deal Finishes (Fightline)

- Build the Upper Body of an MMA Champ (MensFitness)

- 5 Cliches That Stand Up Comedians Need to Retire (HolyTaco)

- Speakeasy, Episode 2: Paul F. Tompkins Interviews Weird Al (MadeMan)

- Wes Anderson’s 10 Awesomest Characters (ScreenJunkies)

- Sony Greenlights ‘Shadow of the Colossus’ Movie (GameFront)

(Word has it JDS hits so hard that Frank Mir fainted shortly after this photo was snapped.)

Just a reminder, Potato Nation, that the weigh-ins for tomorrow’s UFC 146 card are going down tonight starting at 7 p.m. ET. Because we “love” you the way a man “loves” the prostitute he just kicked out of his hotel room, we’ll be hosting a live stream of the event below. At least one of us will be trolling the comment section and looking for a fight, so be sure to join us if you’re into that sort of thing.

Will Roy Nelson don some sort of hilarious costume/facial hair combination? Will Jamie Varner go back into retirement and no-show for his fight against Edson Barboza out of fear for his life? Will Junior dos Santos break out his patented victory dance upon making weight?

All of these questions will be answered, via a few intense staredowns, in just a few short hours. 

(Wait, so if Cormier got his ass kicked by Antonio Silva in September, would *he* be fighting Cain Velasquez in a UFC pay-per-view co-main event this weekend? Mind = blown… / Photo via MMAWeekly)

As if a broken hand wasn’t a big-enough pain in the ass, newly crowned Strikeforce Heavyweight Grand Prix winner Daniel Cormier is contractually obligated to take one more match under the Strikeforce banner before making his inevitable assault on the UFC. But since Strikeforce’s current heavyweight roster only consists of guys who Cormier already beat and guys who the guys Cormier beat already beat, this is a problem. Who the hell is Daniel Cormier going to face next? And is there any way it won’t be a complete waste of his time?

The only logicial solution is if the UFC sends one of their guys over to Strikeforce to throw down against Black Fedor. And yeah, Cormier’s already been thinking about that. Here’s what he told MMAFighting.com’s The MMA Hour (via MMA Mania):

“I think if there is a ‘plus-one’ [fight] and Zuffa’s going to send someone over it is going to have to be someone that is very good you know? Maybe Carwin, as he’s coming back. He’s a guy with a lot of name value and I don’t necessarily know if that’s a step up [from Josh Barnett] but that is somebody with name value. Or, if one of the guys loses from the card this weekend. But then it really limits because if Frank Mir loses I’m pretty sure he is not going to want to come to Strikeforce to fight me where if he loses he has everything to lose. When Cain beats Bigfoot Silva, what are they going to do, send [Silva] back to Strikeforce to fight me again? Nothing really adds up right now, I don’t know, I don’t know how to guess what they are going to do. There just is not that many step ups out there better than Josh Barnett.”

(Photoshop of Bones’s new sponsor via CrushCo)

There’s really not much to add after that headline, but the long version is this: Jon Jones’s DUI arrest wasn’t the first time his driving has gotten him into trouble. BloodyElbow has confirmed that the UFC light-heavyweight champ ran afoul of Albuquerque cops last fall for recklessly driving his Bentley on a suspended license:

Jon was pulled over for flying around a corner in his car and losing traction before pulling into the parking lot of a “fully nude club” (Fantasy World). The police pulled him over in the parking lot and ran his license, they then realized it was suspended and, as a result, Jones’ car was towed. The charges were dismissed in a March 8, 2012 trial.

The full police report is here, if you’re interested. The incident took place on November 24th, 2011, just 16 days before Jones’s UFC 140 title defense against Lyoto Machida, so it’s pretty damn fortunate that his impromptu drift-racing adventure didn’t turn into anything more serious. Still, skidding into a strip club parking lot on Thanksgiving Day seems like a perfect example of the kind of immature and wild behavior that was supposed to be in Jones’s distant past.

(Props: @JoshLBarnett)

Now, if that happened to my hand, it would be a wrap — you wouldn’t be able to stop me from sobbing. But Josh Barnett is cut from a different cloth than you or I. Despite suffering this uncomfortable-looking break within the first 30 seconds of his Strikeforce headlining fight against Black Fedor/Bro Cop on Saturday, the Warmaster bravely battled on for five agonizing rounds, only letting the pain show after the match was over. That’s what you call a savage and a true champ. Daniel Cormier also re-broke his hand early in the fight, but until he provides us with x-ray evidence, we’re going to have to proclaim Barnett the winner of their unofficial Gnarly Hand Injury contest.

(Best frenemies forever.)

Through the majority of their parallel UFC careers, Stephan Bonnar has played second-banana to Forrest Griffin. The relationship started with Griffin’s career-launching win over Bonnar in their classic brawl at the first Ultimate Fighter finale in 2005; a rematch the following year resulted in the American Psycho going home with another decision loss and a steroid suspension. While Griffin was winning the UFC light-heavyweight title in 2008, Bonnar was on the sidelines due to injuries, and though Griffin occasionally ate a humiliating loss, Bonnar’s losses were even more embarrassing.

But lately, the two men have begun to shift trajectories. A not-quite-motivated Griffin suffered an ugly knockout against Mauricio Rua in Brazil last year, and is now booked in a relatively needless trilogy fight against Tito Ortiz in July. With Forrest in a holding pattern, Bonnar is now riding a three-fight win streak, with W’s over Krzysztof Soszynski, Igor Pokrajac, and Kyle Kingsbury. In other words, Griffin might be heading down the mountain, while Bonnar is somehow reaching another peak in his career — which makes it an ideal time for the two rivals to meet one last time, perhaps at the end of an Ultimate Fighter gig that would bring their lives full circle. At least, that’s how Bonnar sees it. Here’s what he told MMAJunkie Radio:

(Nick actually shattered his personal record for running away from a scheduled event by a full 3.5 minutes, but nobody ever wants to focus on the man’s accomplishments, I guess.)

If Nick Diaz was required to explain his actions, Braulio Estima would be receiving a personalized car-vlog complete with middle fingers and suggestions that random motorists have sex with their own mothers. Cesar Gracie understands this better than anybody, which is why he took the time to write out a respectful account of all the events that led to Nick’s disappearance from his scheduled superfight at the World Jiu-Jitsu Expo last weekend.

Short version: Although Gracie didn’t appreciate his fighter’s no-show (“his lack of communication with his team and coach was inexcusable”), Nick’s decision to leave was based on multiple instances of shadiness involving a WJJE organizer named “Junior” and Estima himself. Read on for Cesar Gracie’s letter in its entirety, courtesy of graciefighter.com…

My decision to write an account of what happened this weekend is not to answer to the detractors of myself or my team, as no explanation is owed them. It is instead based on my acknowledgement and respect to our fans and supporters. I never thought I would be answering for something that happened at a grappling tournament, however with the worldwide popularity of the sport and my team increasing, I understand that our supporters need answers.

Below is a compilation of events in chronological order. I included the behind the scenes problems we had to let you, our supporters, know how things deteriorated.

(Oh, come on, Vinny. You know that a belt is worthless once it has been in the bathroom! Photo courtesy of @VinnyMMA) 

Although we feel like we didn’t really get to know Vinny Magalhaes that well during his run on TUF 8 that took him all the way to the show’s finals, watching how he’s responded to his whole M-1 contract debacle has only endeared us to the guy all the more.

If you’re not familiar with the story, we’ll give you the gist: After winning the M-1 Light Heavyweight title back in October of 2011, Magalhaes got fed up with the promotion after they failed to offer him a single title defense under his contract, opting to attempt and resign him under a new one instead. M-1 Global Director of Operations Evgeni Kogan began a “he said/she said” contract dispute with Magalhaes that left the ADCC champion on the shelf for the rest of 2011 and all of 2012 to this point. After finally being told that he has been released from his contract, Vinny decided to put his belt up for sale on Ebay, figuring that it would at least sell for the 20 dollars worth of scrap metal it was composed of.

The bidding officially began on May 13th, and at a steal of just nine cents. It now stands at 14,600 dollars. 

What. The. Shit.

(All the kicks from Van Damme’s ‘Kickboxer’. Thanks, Internet. / Props: thecussingchannel via ScreenJunkies)

- UFC 151: Jon Jones vs. Dan Henderson Official for Sept. 1 in Las Vegas (MMA Mania)

- Bellator 68 Preview and Predictions (MMAFighting)

- Mike Pyle’s Wife Says That Her Butt Is the Key to Their Inseparable Marriage (MiddleEasy)

- Rumor: Josh Thomson Has Torn PCL, Bout With Melendez Likely Off (Fightline)

- Can Testosterone Help You Lose Weight? (MensFitness)

- Good God, Sarah Jean Underwood Is Hot (The OG)

- 7 of the Most Mentally Unstable Fighters in MMA (Guyism)

- The Avengers and Their MMA Counterparts (BleacherReport/MMA)

- The 20 Funniest Moments In Breastfeeding History (WorldWideInterweb)

- 10 Totally Fake Myths about The Opposite Sex (DoubleViking)

- 6 Examples of Scumbag Fine Print (HolyTaco)

- ‘Speakeasy’ Episode 1, With Paul F. Tompkins and Ty Burrell (MadeMan)

(Skip to the 2:20 mark if you want to watch your dad get his ass kicked.)

Good afternoon, Potato Nation. How’s your Monday going? Well, it’s about to get even worse, because everyone’s favorite kilt-wearing former UFC welterweight, Marcus Davis, nearly met his maker this past weekend, and since we had to sit through it, so shall you. After opting out of his Zuffa contract the hard way at UFC 125, “The Irish Hand Grenade” would go 3-1 in various promotions before facing off against Mark Casserly in a kickboxing match.

Now, Davis has suffered some of the most brutal knockouts in the history of the sport (*cough* Ben Saunders *cough*), but this may be the cherry on the blood flavored ice cream sundae. We can’t remember the last time that a kick turned its recipient into a human rocking chair, but we’ll remember this KO for years to come, that’s for sure. Seriously, it’s like that scene in Bad Santa when the midget from Me, Myself, and Irene gets punched in the nuts and falls head over heels, except not nearly as hilarious.

We’re not doctors, but we think this might be the fight that prompts Davis to call it a career. As you can see, it took him more than a few minutes before he was able to regain his composure, and sometimes that is all it takes for a fighter to reconsider his line of work, especially at Davis’ age. Regardless of the decision he may or not make within the next couple weeks, we’d like to take a moment here at CP to thank Davis for his contributions to the sport…

…Alrighty then, now join us after the jump to watch another ferocious head-kick KO from this past weekend, courtesy of our friends over at MiddleEasy. Don’t blink, because it happens just over five seconds into the fight.