Steroids in MMA
Which MMA Fighter Will Test Positive For Steroids Next?

Misc. - Page 114


(From ESPN via BloodyElbow)

Holy, freakin’, crap. Looks like we already have a top contender for this year’s “10 Best MMA Photos” list.

By the way, Joe wants you to know that he was totally not crying at the end of that fight.


If You Need Another Reason to Root Against Tim Sylvia

(That poor, poor woman.)

The Maine-iac on Sherdog’s Savage Dog Show:

“I’ve had sex before with the belt on. That was back in the Ricco Rodriguez days. The night I won the belt I had a sexual experience with the belt on. But hey, I was 25 years old and it was the biggest thing that ever had happened to me in my life. The girl was like hey, are you going to take that thing off. And I said no, I’m not…I’m wearing it and if you have a problem with it, then I’m leaving. And I hate to say it, but if I do win the belt again, then this time it’s never coming off. I’m going to wear it a lot more.”

You hear that, ladies who might consider sleeping with Tim Sylvia? He will bang you with his belt on. That’s a promise. As if sex with Tim wasn’t an awful enough experience, with his grating New England accent and his loose stomach that even steroids couldn’t shore up, he will let you know, at every possible moment, who the champ is.

We cannot allow this to happen again. If you have a daughter, a sister — if you have a mother — you need to know what’s at stake here. So this Saturday, we urge you to pray to your Higher Power for a victory by Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira (he’s the guy that Tim will be fighting at UFC 81; I know we haven’t talked about him much, sorry). If you want to pray that Tim Sylvia stops having “sexual experiences” altogether, that’s cool too.

If you’re not convinced, just imagine Tim Sylvia taking a dump, totally naked except for his UFC belt and reading an old copy of Field and Stream. Maybe now you’ll start to appreciate the enormity of the situation…


Caption Contest: Win a Signed Copy of Chuck Liddell’s ‘Iceman: My Fighting Life’!

Great news, Potato Nation: The generous and attractive people at Dutton Books are hooking us up with ten autographed copies of Chuck Liddell’s intense new memoir, Iceman: My Fighting Life, and rather than keep them all to ourselves, we’ve decided to give them away in a weekly caption contest. Check out the photo below — the two CagePotato readers who come up with the best/funniest captions will each get a book. Submit your entries in the comments section and check back on Friday to see who won. Then swing by next Monday as we do it all over again…


UPDATE: The results are in!


Quote of the Day: Ken Shamrock Is Painfully Honest


MMA Madness has a great interview with Ken Shamrock, where the UFC Hall-of-Famer discusses the IFL, Tito Ortiz, and his upcoming fight at Cage Rage. And just like every other time Ken is given a public forum, he used part of the interview to lash out at Dana White:

Everyone understands that he wants to be the show and if anyone threatens his popularity or strength, whether he’s right or wrong, Dana will go after them. He always says, verbatim, “I’m gonna bury him.” It’s this power thing for him and it’s gonna work for a while because myself, Chuck [Liddell], Tito [Ortiz], Randy [Couture] built this thing up. We gave Dana White the strength to do what he’s doing now but he’s hurting everything that we built. He can’t stop and just admit that this isn’t about him. It’s about the guys who went the distance with the UFC and kept them strong. Dana handles the UFC hall of fame and he inducted me. Even then, he had to be the center of attention. He needs to learn that it’s not about him. He calls fighters out. He calls managers out. Is Dana White a promoter or a fighter? … If you don’t follow Dana’s rules, he’ll pack up his toys and go home and he won’t let you play with his toys anymore. Somewhere along the line, as time goes on, the guys who built this will make him answer to his actions.

We’re also quite fond of this exchange:

MMA Madness: Your son, who is 1-0 in MMA competition, is also fighting at the event. What is more exciting, your comeback or your son’s first mainstream fight?

Ken Shamrock: Definitely my comeback.

Jesus. Can you imagine if Ken Shamrock was your father?

Ken: Let’s get one thing straight, Buster Brown. I’m the World’s Most Dangerous Man. Not you. You’re just the son of the World’s Most Dangerous Man. Is that clear?
Ken: I built you into what you are today! Without my sperm, and the egg of some lady, you would be nothing.
Ryan: But dad, all I wanted to do was…
Ken: No you may not borrow my body-grease! That’s Ken Shamrock’s body grease! KEN SHAMROCK’S, BODY GREASE! BLAAAAAAUUUUGH!!!!

Total nightmare.


Corey Hill Is Gross


See, when you first hear about a 6’4″ fighter who weighs 155 pounds, you’re like “Cool! What a freak!”

And then you actually see him at the weigh-in. Good Lord. Corey Hill looks like he’s been dead for six months. You could see most of his organs. All Joe Veres has to do tonight is kick him in the ribs and he’ll turn to dust and blow away. They had to take this photo five times because flies kept landing on Corey’s face. Skinny, is what I’m sayin’.

At an official 5’6″, Veres is giving up 10 inches to Hill during the UFN 12 undercard tonight, though you can’t really tell in this photo because Hill is sort of hunched over and Veres is wearing heels:



Fedor Thinks Putin Could Kick Dubya’s Ass


Our broheezys at Complex keep landing the big interviews. This time it’s the Russian Nightmare himself, Fedor Emelianenko, who chats with the guys about his recent Affliction commercial shoot, Hong-Man Choi, Sambo, and more. Our favorite bit:

C: Vladimir Putin shows up to your fights on occasion, and the idea of our president showing up to support a fighter seems strange here in America. Have you talked with Putin?
Fedor Emelianenko: Putin once visited me after a fight. Our president is very athletic. He develops and tried to give more attention to sports in Russia right now, which is nice. We did talk.

C: So, would he take out President Bush in a fight?
Fedor Emelianenko: Our president is a black belt in judo and he is also a master in sambo. So if they did that … (laughs) But I think that our leaders should decide their issues in a different way.

Well sure, Bush would get subbed in the first round in a cage fight — but Putin would get his ass handed to him in a cow-chip throwing contest.

To read the rest of the interview, go here.


Brock Lesnar in Interview Shocker!

According to Brock Lesnar in this new promo video for UFC 81, the outcomes in pro wrestling “may be pre-determined.” (!!!)

Dude, you’re going to break this guy‘s heart. Check out to see the rest of Lensar’s interview, as well as an interview with Frank Mir in which the former UFC heavyweight champ discusses his gameplan against Lesnar and the motorcycle accident that nearly ended his career.

Oh, and also? Lesnar isn’t really a big fan of the gays. Which is surprising coming from a guy with a big schlong tattooed on his chest.

Related: If you haven’t already taken the new poll on our homepage (“Brock Lesnar vs. Frank Mir — who takes it?”), please do so now.


Jess Liaudin Has Some Issues to Work Out


Based on a new article published in The Canadian Press, UFC welterweight Jess Liaudin deserves a spot next to Jens Pulver in the Awful Childhood Hall-of-Fame. As the French-bred Londoner explains:

“My dad used to be quite physical. He punched me the first time, I was nine months. My grandfather came with a shotgun, put it to his head and said ‘If you ever do that again, I will kill you.’ So he didn’t do it ever again — in front of my grandfather. But he was doing it quite regularly at home.”

Wait, it gets worse:

Liaudin and his mother left the family home when he was 14 and lived with fellow homeless people in a church, eating food left over from markets.

“It was a very tough time,” he recalled. “We lived like that for six months, like bums.”

They graduated to an apartment in the roughest part of Bourges in central France. Surrounded by impoverished immigrants, Liaudin says he was “the white boy in the neighbourhood everyone wanted to beat up.”

“I was fighting every day. When my mom sent me to the grocery store to buy bread, I knew I would have to fight. It was pretty rough.”

And you know what? Things didn’t improve that much when he became a pro fighter.


Bas Rutten Is the Next Jerry Seinfeld, Jay-Z


Following up their beloved “Dear Don” feature, has given Bas Rutten his own column called “Who’s the Bas?” (Clever!) In the first installment, Rutten tries his hand at Seinfeld-esque observational humor. Here’s what he has to say about airports:

For some reason, there are people – even after all these years – who still don’t know that you have to take all the metal out of your pockets, take your laptop out of the bag, take off your shoes, etc. How can they not know? Is this their first time on an airport in the last five years?

And hotels:

I never like the pillows in hotels. I don’t know what it is. I always bring my own pillow. That’s a travel tip I recommend for everyone. Having your own pillow with you is never a bad idea, trust me. You’d be surprised what a difference it makes.

And avoiding contact with other people’s filthy hands:

One of the reasons I stay in my room, though, is that I prefer to eat up there. It’s not that I don’t want to be around anyone (I don’t want you to think I’m some kind of jerk), but if I’m eating in a hotel people will want to come up to me and shake hands. I don’t mind, but that’s one of the easiest ways to pass germs from one person to another, and here I am eating. This, my friends, is why I recommend the fist bump. It’s the same kind of physical gesture, but it’s hygienic! People tell me sometimes that they think it’s strange. Maybe, but it’s no more strange than shaking hands. What, I’m going to hold another person’s hand in mine and move it up and down for a few seconds and that’s not strange? No, thanks. I’d rather do the fist bump. It may be strange, but at least I can go back to eating my meal without worrying about the germs I’ve just picked up from holding another person’s hand.

Did we say Seinfeld? We meant Rooney.

And speaking of Bas, click here for the funkiest jam you’ve ever heard. Who knew El Guapo had such a sick flow?


Saddest/Truest Quote of the Day


Dana White, during a UFC 80 press conference today:

“Look at the NFL. There’s nothing bigger in this country than the NFL. They’ve been spending billions of dollars trying to break into Europe and they can’t do it, because nobody gives a (expletive) about football in Europe. They didn’t grow up playing football, they don’t know about it. I take two guys and put them in the Octagon and they can use any martial art they want. It translates through all different cultural barriers, language barriers… people love fighting.”

In other words, the thing that drives us apart will be the very thing that unites us. I kinda like that. Can that be the tagline for Red Devil?

During the press conference, White announced that the UFC would be doing an event in Scotland as soon as possible, and is working to get events authorized in New York and Hawaii. He also described the Matt Serra-hosted UFC 79 viewing party at Madison Square Garden as “a very successful event.” I’d love to get independent confirmation of that claim, but I haven’t been able to find anything online. If you or someone you know attended the MSG party, holler at us and let us know what it was like. We’re guessing “poorly attended and awkward” — is that about right?