regret gifs
15 Moments of Instant Regret [GIFs]

Misc. - Page 3

BJ Penn Has Some Harsh Words For Mike Dolce and His $20,000 “Charity” Diet


(Yeah, you’ve almost got the idea. / via Penn’s instagram)

I can only imagine what BJ Penn‘s fans were thinking when they saw the gaunt, sickly featherweight version of the former two-division champion trudge to the ring for his “Why God, WHY?!” trilogy fight with Frankie Edgar at the TUF 19 Finale. I mean, I can’t technically say that I’m a fan of Penn or any fighter for that matter, lest it interfere with my fancy journalistic oath (*takes off “Chris Lytle: State Senator” shirt and puffs pipe*), but even I had to admit that overwhelming sadness induced by his performance that night was only outweighed by his breakdown during the evening’s post-fight press conference.

When we learned that Penn had actually brought in renowned dietician Mike Dolce to help him make the cut to 145 lbs, it was even more surprising to see the final product that was his emaciated, just-a-nickel-a-day-to-save-this-boy’s-life frame. Although Penn wouldn’t go into detail at first, he was highly critical of the infamous “Dolce Diet” and more or less alluded that it was a crock of sh*t. Now a month removed from his fight with Edgar, Penn feels that enough time has passed to start pissing in Dolce’s cornflakes, telling BJPenn.com that the $20,000 he paid Dolce for three weeks work was nothing short of charity:

BJPENN.COM: One of the first things he said was that he had no influence in your last training camp. Is that true?

BJ Penn: “He said he had no influence in my camp, but he brought in sparring partners, did my food and diet, and had me do his treadmill, plyometrics, and core routines. I don’t know what he’s talking about.”

BJPENN.COM: What was Dolce’s fee for all this?

BJ Penn: “I hadn’t been to 145 (pounds) in 18 years and that cut was intimidating. I wanted to get it right, so we brought in Mike Dolce, and paid him $22,000.00 for 21 days of service. That’s $1000.00 per day plus a $1000.00 tip.”

BJPENN.COM: Dolce said he filled your place with food, pasta, free range beef, all these things including tons of sea salt. In his words, “enough food to feed a family of six”. True?

BJ Penn: “There was no food in the apartment, and he never told me what to eat.

Read More DIGG THIS

Lyoto Machida vs. CB Dollaway Likely For Fight Night Brazil Card in December


(See? We told you.)

Now here’s some interesting matchmaking.

Following back-to-back KO losses at the hands of Mark Munoz and Jared Hamman in 2011, it looked as if the book was about to close on the UFC career of TUF 7 finalist CB Dollaway. “The Doberman” had provided fans with some memorable highlights — most notably, his peruvian necktie finish of fellow TUF 7 alum Jesse Taylor — but the pair of losses had dropped his promotional record to just above .500, and lets just say that nobody was talking about “CB Dollaway: Future Champion” around the water cooler*.

But then, he was booked against Jason Miller in a “loser leaves town” match for both fighters, and whatever pieces of Mayhem’s soul that Michael Bisping *didn’t* steal, Dollaway did. The win kicked off something of a career revitalization for Launchpad Dollaway, who has notched 4 victories alongside just one defeat in the time since, including an impressive first round KO of TUF Brazil winner Cezar Ferreira and a decision over the highly-touted Francis Carmont.

And now, it looks like Dollaway will be getting the big name he deserves, as UFC Tonight tweeted yesterday that he is being considered for a bout with former light heavyweight champion Lyoto Machida. The fight would likely serve as the headliner for the UFC’s return to Brazil in December, on a TBD Fight Night card transpiring on the 20th from the Ginásio José Corrêa in Barueri, Brazil.

Machida, as we all know, last battled Chris Weidman in an uncharacteristically gritty performance at UFC 175 that saw him come up short by way of unanimous decision. While the fight against Weidman has yet to be confirmed, we will keep you updated on this matchup as details are made available.

*Unrelated: Lyoto Machida’s water cooler

-J. Jones  

Read More DIGG THIS

Friday Links: The Other ‘War Machine’, Floyd Mayweather Jr. to Retire Next Year, Disturbing Stock Photos + More


(Ugh. Would someone please tell that goof in the middle that gladiators don’t smile? / Photo via Reddit MMA)

TRT Ban Will Force UFC Headliner ‘Bigfoot’ Silva Into Surgery After Saturday’s Fight (MMAJunkie)

Interview: Bec Rawlings Discusses Creepy Fans, The TUF 20 House, and How the Media Is Blowing Drama Out of Proportion (MiddleEasy)

UFC’s ‘War Machine’ Won’t Change His Nickname After Jonathan Koppenhaver’s Alleged Assault (MMAFighting)

Video: Dana White Says Alistair Overeem Won’t Be Cut, Ben Askren Is an ‘Absolute Moron’ (BloodyElbow)

Boxing News: Floyd Mayweather Jr. Planning to Retire in 2015 After 2 More Bouts (Sherdog)

Georges St-Pierre Will Get Title Shot If He Returns in 2015 (BleacherReport)

Mike Tyson Flips Out on Canadian TV (Break)

Why Do These Stock Photos Even Exist? [31 Pics] (Radass)

The 10 Most Terrifying Place on Earth (AskMen)

When Good Stars Go Bad: Eight Actors and Their Most Villainous Film Roles (ScreenJunkies)

Which Sci-Fi Utopian World Would Be Best for Raising a Family? (EveryJoe)

The 15 Worst Marriage Proposals of All Time (PopHangover)

Video: The Most Brutal Aussie Rules Football Hits (Steakwood)

Six Takeaways from Apple’s iPhone 6 Reveal Event (EscapistMagazine)

The 20 Greatest Sitcom Babes of All Time (WorldWideInterweb)

When Good Games Are Too Hard (GameFront)

Read More DIGG THIS

Following Fight Night 50 Barnburner, Joe Lauzon and Michael Chiesa Trade Barbs Online


(“Rematches are dumb. #ufcfightnight.” via Lauzon’s Instagram.)

Joe Lauzon vs. Michael Chiesa was as predictable as it was unexpected, if that makes any sense. Allow me to explain. The Fight Night 50 main card opener that pitted the TUF 5 alum against the TUF 15 winner was predictable in the way that all Joe Lauzon fights are: It was a back-and-forth, ferociously paced banger that brought the crowd to life from the very moment it started. There’s a reason why Lauzon has scored a UFC record 13 fight bonuses, and his most recent performance was no exception.

The fight’s ending was unexpected, however, in that Lauzon emerged victorious via TKO — something he hasn’t accomplished since 2008 — and that said TKO came due to the doctor’s intervention. As you might expect, Chiesa was upset with the decision and immediately took to Twitter to protest the stoppage while demanding an immediate rematch.

“Out of all the bloody three-round wars I’ve seen … Diego, Lauzon and many others, why the hell did they stop my fight?” asked Chiesa. “I was never beat, my will was never broken, I was winning that fight. I demand a rematch before the year ends. I hope you all were entertained, you guys got robbed as much as me. That fight was going to be a three-round war. We all got robbed.”

Lauzon responded shortly thereafter with the above Instagram post, showing that not only had all 3 judges had scored the first round for him, but stating his belief that “rematches are dumb.” That led to this exchange between the two lightweights on Twitter:

Read More DIGG THIS

Stephan Bonnar, Justin McCully Admit to Pre-Planning Atrocious Bellator 123 “Brawl” [SHOCKED FACE]


(Bellator 131: Stubble. Will. Reign.)

I know it’s only Monday morning, but are you guys ready to have your f*cking minds blown?!! Because it turns out that, contrary to the opinions of almost everyone who witnessed it live, the super awesome Stephan Bonnar-Tito Ortiz brawl at Bellator 123 *might* have been pre-planned. I know, right? So sayeth Bonnar himself:

Listen @Lowkey1324, @titoortiz is a self absorbed ego maniac.The world needed 2 know.Tito, Coker, @BellatorMMA & @SpikeTV, didn’t know shit! It was all me & @JustinMcCully. If u wanna hate us 4 pulling a pro wrestling esque promo off while calling tito out on the BS he’s pulled on people over the years..Then by all means, go buy yourself some punishment gear, a front row ticket, and be sure to bring a rain coat, cuz things r gonna get bloody.

Well I don’t know about you guys, but I am shocked. Shocked I tells ya!! I could have sworn that cornrows rapist mask executioner mask guy was legitimately just there for moral support, and that Bonnar’s hi-larious Jenna Jameson jokes were ripped from the top of his dome, but now I feel cheated. Embarassed for the sport, even. So I say shame on you, Stephan Bonnar, for toying with our emotions so carelessly during an otherwise pleasant evening of fights. I can’t even look at you anymore, and it’s not just because you’re making that face again.

But I’m sure we’re all still wondering, whose idea was the f*cking rape mask? Well…

Read More DIGG THIS

Oh For the Love of God: Thiago Silva Re-Signed by the UFC


And what a terrific photo selection, given the circumstances. (*slams head off desk*)

Last month, when Josh Grispi and War Machine were busted in two of the most heinous domestic assault cases since, well, Thiago Silva stuck a gun in his ex-wife’s mouth, Dana White made sure to emphasize how bullshit it was that both men were being labeled “UFC fighters.”

“It’s horrible… and every time I’ve got to see, ‘Ex-UFC fighter’ when the stories are written. “He fought twice! Six years ago!” said White of War Machine, “He was a current Bellator, Viacom fighter. He fights for Viacom. Not the UFC.’ ”

An understandable frustration, as the last thing the MMA community needed was to be unfairly labeled as, I don’t know, a horrifying culture of misogynists. When Thiago Silva was arrested months prior for, I repeat, sticking a gun in his wife’s mouth and engaging in an armed standoff with police, White told reporters that Silva “will never fight in the UFC again.” It was a minor, albeit comforting thing to know in an otherwise disturbing string of events.

And it lasted eight months. Eight f*cking months.

Read More DIGG THIS

Friday Link Dump: Hottest Winning Streaks, Bellator vs. UFC: Tale of the Tape, Kick-Ass Female Action Scenes + More


(Oh this? Just the greatest prank ever: Mutant Giant Spider Dog.)

Myles Jury and the 12 Hottest UFC Winning Streaks Right Now (Bleacher Report)

‘King Mo’ Accidentally Cut to 202.5, Will Give Middleweight a Try in 2015 (MMAJunkie)

Video: Adrien Broner Chokes Emmanuel Taylor At Showtime Press Conference (MMAMania)

Bellator vs. UFC: Tale of the Tape (MMAFighting)

Frank Mir accepts to Fight “Farewell” Minotauro in Brazil (Globo)

Flint’s Darryol Humphery Kicks Drug Game to Punch in as MMA Fighter (MLive)

15 of the Most Kick-Ass Female Action Scenes in Cinema History (Pajiba)

R.I.P. Joan Rivers: Her Nine Most Controversial Moments (Screen Junkies)

The Most Awkward Album Covers That Ever Happened (Pop Hangover)

Hipster Trends that Need to Die (EveryJoe)

Celebrities Read Mean Tweets: NFL Edition (WorldWideInterweb)

10 Kung Fu Movies Every Man Should See (MadeMan)

Read More DIGG THIS

Hector Lombard and Tyron Woodley Have A Slightly Different Understanding of What it Means to Be Teammates


(The same can be said about their understanding of the English language, it appears.)

You guys, I don’t want to instigate anything, but it sounds like Tyron Woodley *might* just be ducking Hector Lombard.

On the heels of a first round TKO of Dong Hyun Kim, Woodley has quickly rebounded from the three round drubbing he suffered at the hands of Rory MacDonald in June, and is in a prime position to receive another highly-ranked opponent. Enter Hector Lombard, currently ranked #6 (if UFC rankings are your thing) and riding back-to-back wins over Nate Marquardt and Jake Shields since dropping to welterweight. A fight with the #3 ranked Woodley makes sense for both men given their current trajectories, but Woodley isn’t having any part of it.

As things of this nature usually are, word of Woodley’s hesitance was first made public by Dana White during the UFC 177 media scrum:

I called Woodley and said, ‘Here’s what your teammate just said, and he wants this fight bad.’ And he said, ‘He can say whatever he wants, he’s about him and he’s always been about him. This fight doesn’t work for me and my brand.’ He started telling me all the reasons why he doesn’t want this fight and I just said, ‘Whatever kid, whatever.’ He wants nothing to do with Hector. Hector wants this fight, Woodley does not.

It’s not good for his brand? Is Woodley even aware that Lombard is the king of rebranding? That’s “Shower There” Lombard you’re talking about, so show some goddamn respect!

Read More DIGG THIS

Beef of the Day: Alistair Overeem and Anthony Johnson Are Just a Couple of P*ssies (Their Words, Not Ours)


(“But why is the lady having sex with the horse when she could be eating it?” via FighterXFashion.)

If Hollywood ever opted to do a straight-up remake of Predator starring only MMA fighters (not that they ever, *ever* should), I’d like to think that Alistair Overeem and Anthony “Rumble” Johnson would be prime candidates for the Dutch and Dillon roles, respectively, based purely on body mass. I say this despite the fact that the former has been rapidly shrinking down from heavyweight and the latter steadily ballooning up from welterweight in recent years.

Come to think of it, it’s entirely possible that Rumble has been slowly accumulating/absorbing Overeem’s mass through some sort of voodoo this entire time. Johnson and Overeem are former “Blackzilian” training partners, for one, which means that Rumble could have easily secured the hair strand/toenail clipping/jar of sweat necessary to conduct such a voodoo ritual, and both appear to hate the everloving sh*t out of each other. It’s the only logical explanation outside of “Johnson was never a true welterweight and Overeem owed his Herculean physique to steroids” that I can honestly think of.

But back to the rivalry between these two, which was reignited when Overeem busted up Jon Jones in a training session that in turn led to the cancellation of Jones vs.Cormier at UFC 178. Johnson inserted himself into the situation by more or less claiming that Overeem did it on purpose before calling him out, to which Overeem responded by calling Johnson a “p*ssy.”

Looking to continue the middle school method of hyping a fight that hasn’t been booked yet, Johnson lashed out at Overeem on Twitter this morning:

Read More DIGG THIS

The UFC 177 Salaries Prove How Wrong We All Were About UFC 177′s Stacked Lineup


(Unfortunately, the catcalls directed towards Ms. Baker could not be heard that night, as they were drowned out by the deafening chirps of a thousand crickets. Photo via Getty.)

By Jared Jones (channeling Dana White’s inner rage) 

‘Sup, fuckers. D-White here.

You know, there was a lot of disgusting, f*cking despicable things being said about the quality of UFC 177 and its lineup by you f*cking asshole media members in the weeks leading up to it. Jonathan Snowdick said he wasn’t buying it, and that everyone should send a message to me about the continually dwindling quality of our product by doing the same. Those CagePotato bastards couldn’t even be bothered to liveblog it, and Dave Meltzer said some nasty things too, because Dave Meltzer is a f*cking scumbag asshole.

Sure, maybe the card lost an Olympianit’s original co-main event, and it’s main event at the last minute. And yeah, UFC 177 as a whole only contained two fighters ranked in the top 15 in their division, and only two of the 144 ranked fighters in all 9 divisions, but this card was worth every penny of the $54.99 it cost, you unappreciative fucks! CRITICIZING SOMETHING MEANS YOU HATE IT.

Let me ask you this, you insatiable, armchair expert, dickhead media members: If UFC 177 was so shitty, then surely the fighters salaries would reflect it, right? Well, read ‘em and weep!

T.J. Dillashaw: $100,000 (includes $50,000 win bonus)
def. Joe Soto: $20,000

Tony Ferguson: $40,000 (includes $20,000 win bonus)
def. Danny Castillo: $36,000

Bethe Correia: $24,000 (includes $12,000 win bonus)
def. Shayna Baszler: $8,000

Read More DIGG THIS
CagePotatoMMA