Misc. - Page 4

(“I eventually had to start eating my fingers for sustenance,” recounts horrified blogger from hospital bed.)

By Jared Jones

A mixed martial arts fight blogger lies in critical but stable condition after succumbing to the effects of a brutal 4-hour “liveblog” that nearly took his life Saturday.

Reports say that 31-year old Chip Chessworth, a quote unquote “MMA journalist” for FistFighter.com, sat down at his Brooklyn, NY apartment at 7:30 EST last night, with the assignment of “liveblogging” – or rapidly typing grammatically challenged round-by-round fight recaps — the UFC Fight Night 36: Machida vs Mousasi prelims for his website. A six pack of Red Stripe at his side, Chessworth was looking to shake off the memory of UFC 169, a “ten-decision, record-setting catastrophe” (as UFC President Dana White called it) that had claimed the lives of over 1,500 livebloggers earlier in the month, as well as report on what he hoped would be “a decent night of fights.”

“I had just spent my fourth straight Valentine’s Day alone, so I was really looking for some vicarious retribution in the form of a few sweet knockouts,” said Chessworth. Little did the lonely writer know that by the time the preliminary card was over, he’d be in a fight of his own. For his life.

Looking back on the ordeal, Chessworth says he should have realized that something was…off from the very first fight of the night. In a bout between UFC newcomers Douglas Silva de Andrade and Zuba…Zubariai Somethingorother, the liberal arts major said he could feel “a weird energy” in the crowd while watching the event on his 13” laptop screen.

“When Bruce Buffer is only spinning 90 degrees during the intros, you know you’re going to be in for a long night,” lamented Chessworth.

(“Machida vs. Mousasi” is going down tomorrow in Jaragua, Brazil. Come back to CagePotato tomorrow night at 10:30 p.m. ET for our liveblog of the FOX Sports 1 main card. / Video via YouTube.com/UFC)

Dana White’s Unhinged, Unadulterated Attitude Provides Window Into Crazy UFC World (Yahoo! Sports)

UFC Announces Launch of ‘The Ultimate Fighter: Latinoamerica’ (MMAFighting)

Ian McCall Injured, Brad Pickett Without Opponent at UFC Fight Night 37 (Sherdog)

Ben Askren Lashes Out at Dana White Over Pat Cummins Signing (BloodyElbow)

UFC Champ Ronda Rousey Says Marijuana Testing Is ‘Invasion of Privacy’ (MMAJunkie)

26 Photos of Nina Agdal, 2014 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Cover-Girl (HolyTaco)

16 Hilarious Valentine’s Day Autocorrects (DamnYouAutoCorrect)

Kendall Jenner Lets Loose During Runway Debut [NSFW] (EveryJoe)

5 Funny Valentine’s Day Poems (PopHangover)

‘Winter’s Tale’ Is Even Worse Than It Looks (The Escapist)

Watch the First 13 Minutes of ‘South Park: The Stick of Truth’ (GameFront)

The Best Netflix Movies to Watch on Valentine’s Day (Crushable)

The 99 Most Desirable Women of 2014 (AskMen)

The 50 Most Absurd Russian Wedding Photos Ever (WorldWideInterweb)

Depending how you look at it, Chael Sonnen‘s offer to step in for Rashad Evans against Daniel Cormier at UFC 170 was either an act of extreme bravery or extreme cowardice — further proof that Sonnen is the most fearless man in the UFC or that he is one desperately trying to get out of Brazil in one piece A.S.A.P. Personally, I choose to believe the former, because if Chael Sonnen was brave enough to march head first into enemy territory to promote a reality show that no one watches, there’s no way a little on-set scrap would be enough to scare him away.

Sonnen’s valiance aside, Cormier would have demolished the Gangster From West Linn inside 3 minutes. You know this. I know this. Sonnen knows this. Chael P. was thoroughly overpowered by Evans and Jon Jones at light heavyweight, and against Cormier he’d be fighting an Olympian dropping down from heavyweight. They’d need a spatula to peel him off the canvas by the time all was said and done.

Realizing this, the UFC has denied Sonnen’s request, instead re-scheduling Evans vs. Cormier for UFC 172 (this is unconfirmed) and moving Sonnen vs. Wandy from UFC 173 in Las Vegas to a yet-to-be-named event in Brazil the following weekend.

As Happy Gilmore would say, “Talk about your all-time backfires.”

That was the first rebuttal offered by Alistair Overeem after Dana White told UFC Tonight that the former Strikeforce heavyweight champ was “hiding” from former UFC heavyweight champion Junior Dos Santos. According to White — who was clearly having a bad day at the office — Overeem was offered a five-round main event fight with Dos Santos in Brazil immediately following his dominant win over Frank Mir at UFC 169 (which White was also super critical of, for some reason). After allegedly turning it down, Overeem was then offered a three-round main event with “Cigano,” but promptly turned it down as well.

“He wants nothing to do with dos Santos,” White told UFC Tonight’s Ariel Helwani. “He’s literally hiding from JDS…but he had no problem calling out Brock Lesnar who hasn’t fought in 2 years and who is in WWE.”

A strong accusation coming from a man usually known for making calculated, restrained statements bolstered by impeccable fact-checking (see: Pena, Julianna) if there ever was one.

What’s that, you say? Overeem is hurt, hence why he’s not ready to fight? Well I guess we might as well hear him out…

(Potts’ professional debut against Calven Robinson at EFC 7 via EFC Africa’s Youtube page.)

Cain Velasquez may have ruined the heavyweight division at UFC 166, but it looks like the world’s premier MMA organization is going to move forward with this whole “signing heavyweight prospects” thing regardless.

News broke yesterday that the UFC had signed EFC heavyweight champion Ruan Potts to a six fight deal, marking the first EFC prospect to be picked up by the UFC in the South African promotion’s brief history. Currently 8-1 in professional competition, Potts is a two-time EFC Heavyweight champion who has balanced 4 TKOs against 4 submissions and most recently scored a trilogy-securing victory over rival Andrew van Zyl at EFC 26 via first round armbar. Despite possessing a goddamn awful nickname in “Fangzz”, Potts should hopefully shake up the UFC’s heavyweight division in these post-Barry times (*cries*).

There isn’t much footage of Potts’ recent fights available, but we did manage to find a few videos of him in action from earlier in his career, so join us after the jump to see what this kid can do.

Everything about this image of Dana White, from the Rage Against the Machine shirt to the heated finger point of disapproval, so perfectly sums up the news item I am about to discuss that I was seriously considering just posting it along with the headline and moving onto the next item on the agenda (watching quicksand porn and taking a nap). But seeing as BG has left the weight of the CP Nation on my shoulders for the day, I might as well try to deliver you Taters some newsworthy info.

Mainly, that EVERYONE WHO HAS EVER STREAMED A UFC PPV IS GOING TO JAIL.

Alright, it might not be that bad, but if you streamed UFC 169 through cagewatcher.eu, let’s just say that you might want to kiss your loved ones goodbye, pack a small suitcase, and get on the first bus to Tijuana. Actually, that sounds even worse (via a UFC.com press release):

As part of the on-going initiative against online piracy, Zuffa, LLC, owner of the Ultimate Fighting Championship® (UFC®) organization, successfully took down and seized the records of www.cagewatcher.eu, a website that illegally streamed two UFC pay-per-view events.

UFC has obtained details of the streaming site’s userbase, including email addresses, IP addresses, user names and information pertaining to individuals who watched pirated UFC events including UFC 169. Also recovered were chat transcripts from the website. Using this data, UFC will work with Lonstein Law Office to prosecute identified infringers.

Lonstein Law Office has successfully prosecuted hundreds of claims for the UFC organization for sites illegally streaming content and individual users since 2007. UFC’s status as the industry leader in pay-per-view television has helped it become a leader in cracking down on companies and individuals watching and facilitating the watching of pay-per-view events online, without paying.

(Photo via Ryan Loco/Blackzilians)

Light-heavyweight slugger Anthony Johnson has been back in the UFC for less than a week, and already he’s courting controversy. During a recent interview with SiriusXM TapouT Radio, Johnson said he has no problem with performance-enhancing drug use in MMA — and seemed to argue in favor of responsible usage of PEDs. Here’s what he had to say (via MMAMania):

“In every sport people are using something. I mean, as long as nobody dies, nobody pulls a Chris Benoit, you know what I’m saying? I think everything is going to be fine. If it’s something that can absolutely help you, I don’t see what the problem is. Until that moment you go crazy on the person — whoever it may be — you can’t absolutely blame the…I don’t know. I guess it’s just an iffy situation.”

“If you abuse it, of course you are going to get popped for it and do stupid stuff. But if you use it the right way and you just do what you are supposed to do, then it shouldn’t be a problem…I think if you can do it, do it. I don’t have nothing against it. You know what I’m saying? As long as you don’t kill nobody.”

Of course, Johnson didn’t come out and say that he uses steroids or unapproved hormone therapy, though he indirectly cast suspicion on some of the UFC’s champions:

(Anderson Silva can now walk down stairs without crutches. The comeback continues… / Props: silva_mtc)

Manager: Urijah Faber Fought Barao With Bruised Knee Ligament, Partially Torn Hamstring (MMAJunkie)

Here’s Fedor’s Olympic Cameo in All of Its Cold, Russian Glory (MiddleEasy)

Julianna Pena’s Knee Surgery a Success, Expected to Make Full Recovery (MMAWeekly)

Dana White: Lyoto Machida Could Get Next Title Shot With Win Over Gegard Mousasi (BleacherReport)

Israeli-Born Noad Lahat to Make UFC Debut Against Godofredo Pepey at UFC Fight Night 38 (MMAFighting)

The 15 Most Important Exercises for Men (MensFitness)

Watch the Russian Police Choir Sing “Get Lucky” at the Sochi Winter Olympics (Complex)

10 Naughty Lego Positions for Adults Only (Mommyish)

Do Sports Games Need a Story? (TheEscapist)

The 100 Funniest Moments In Facebook History (WorldWideInterweb)

Video: Jay Leno Gets Emotional While Leaving the Tonight Show (EveryJoe)

10 Better Titles for Farrah Abraham’s Newest Sex Tape (HolyTaco)

The Weirdest Google Searches, Illustrated (PopHangover)

(Now *this* is a UFC poster I think we all could get behind.)

If this is how Ronda Rousey plans to gain back the fans she lost over the course of The Ultimate Fighter 18, then consider us back on Team Housey! (*honks old-timey car horn, releases fireworks into pants*)

Set to face Olympian Sarah McMann at UFC 170, Rousey was recently snapped by Brian Bowen Smith and was courteous enough to post a couple of the photos to her Instagram account. While I’m not sure what kind of scenario would lead to the most dangerous woman on the planet being left in her undergarments and in need of a hair-drying, I appreciate Rousey’s commitment to making that scenario a reality. And maybe it’s just me, but in the history of scantily-clad Rousey photos, this ranks just above “Ronda Rousey in a Latex Bodysuit” and just below “Ronda Rousey in Nothing But Wraps” (The Body Issue tops all, obvs).

Check out the fantastic photo above, then join us after the jump for a second, classier photo I like to call “Girl in White Dress on Rusty Fold Out Bed Frame.”

(Yep, that’s Matt Phinney, a.k.a Michael “Fedor on Zeus’s shoulders” Bisping, featured in the one and only episode of “The Fighters.” Photo via Discovery.)

One of the smaller takeaways from Dana White’s near-meltdown at a press luncheon last week was the unfortunate news that his boxing-focused reality show, The Fighters, pulled in “fucking horrendous” numbers for its premiere episode (Ed note: Yeah, seems to be a lot of that going around). And indeed, when a show pulls in just 385,000 viewers on a channel that regularly gets over a million people to watch Amish Mafia, it’s safe to say that it is failing to find its target audience.

To be cancelled after one episode, though? That’s harsh, son. But that is also the reality of The Fighters, as boxing coach Peter Welsh and producer Craig Piligian confirmed yesterday that the show is dunzo via Twitter, stating, “Sorry to say it has. Such a great show, we hope to get it on an audience appropriate network.”

Wait, you mean to tell me that sasquatch-hunting aficionados can’t *also* appreciate a gritty show centered around the lives of struggling, Boston-based fighters? Or is the Bigfoot show the History channel’s doing? All I know is that reality television is a bottomless pit of despair and so are the people who choose to watch it. Except for Bar Rescue, obviously.Jon Taffer is cleaning up this cesspool of a country one speakeasy at a time and deserves our praise for it.

The Fighters now joins the ranks of such one-hit wonders as Heil Honey I’m Home, Co-Ed Fever, and Public Morals to never reach a second episode. Honestly, all of those other shows sound far more interesting than The Fighters, but I’m also a sucker for comedies about Hitler.