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Iconic Album Covers Replaced With Sloths

Misc. - Page 5

Oh For the Love of God: Thiago Silva Re-Signed by the UFC


And what a terrific photo selection, given the circumstances. (*slams head off desk*)

Last month, when Josh Grispi and War Machine were busted in two of the most heinous domestic assault cases since, well, Thiago Silva stuck a gun in his ex-wife’s mouth, Dana White made sure to emphasize how bullshit it was that both men were being labeled “UFC fighters.”

“It’s horrible… and every time I’ve got to see, ‘Ex-UFC fighter’ when the stories are written. “He fought twice! Six years ago!” said White of War Machine, “He was a current Bellator, Viacom fighter. He fights for Viacom. Not the UFC.’ ”

An understandable frustration, as the last thing the MMA community needed was to be unfairly labeled as, I don’t know, a horrifying culture of misogynists. When Thiago Silva was arrested months prior for, I repeat, sticking a gun in his wife’s mouth and engaging in an armed standoff with police, White told reporters that Silva “will never fight in the UFC again.” It was a minor, albeit comforting thing to know in an otherwise disturbing string of events.

And it lasted eight months. Eight f*cking months.

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Friday Link Dump: Hottest Winning Streaks, Bellator vs. UFC: Tale of the Tape, Kick-Ass Female Action Scenes + More


(Oh this? Just the greatest prank ever: Mutant Giant Spider Dog.)

Myles Jury and the 12 Hottest UFC Winning Streaks Right Now (Bleacher Report)

‘King Mo’ Accidentally Cut to 202.5, Will Give Middleweight a Try in 2015 (MMAJunkie)

Video: Adrien Broner Chokes Emmanuel Taylor At Showtime Press Conference (MMAMania)

Bellator vs. UFC: Tale of the Tape (MMAFighting)

Frank Mir accepts to Fight “Farewell” Minotauro in Brazil (Globo)

Flint’s Darryol Humphery Kicks Drug Game to Punch in as MMA Fighter (MLive)

15 of the Most Kick-Ass Female Action Scenes in Cinema History (Pajiba)

R.I.P. Joan Rivers: Her Nine Most Controversial Moments (Screen Junkies)

The Most Awkward Album Covers That Ever Happened (Pop Hangover)

Hipster Trends that Need to Die (EveryJoe)

Celebrities Read Mean Tweets: NFL Edition (WorldWideInterweb)

10 Kung Fu Movies Every Man Should See (MadeMan)

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Hector Lombard and Tyron Woodley Have A Slightly Different Understanding of What it Means to Be Teammates


(The same can be said about their understanding of the English language, it appears.)

You guys, I don’t want to instigate anything, but it sounds like Tyron Woodley *might* just be ducking Hector Lombard.

On the heels of a first round TKO of Dong Hyun Kim, Woodley has quickly rebounded from the three round drubbing he suffered at the hands of Rory MacDonald in June, and is in a prime position to receive another highly-ranked opponent. Enter Hector Lombard, currently ranked #6 (if UFC rankings are your thing) and riding back-to-back wins over Nate Marquardt and Jake Shields since dropping to welterweight. A fight with the #3 ranked Woodley makes sense for both men given their current trajectories, but Woodley isn’t having any part of it.

As things of this nature usually are, word of Woodley’s hesitance was first made public by Dana White during the UFC 177 media scrum:

I called Woodley and said, ‘Here’s what your teammate just said, and he wants this fight bad.’ And he said, ‘He can say whatever he wants, he’s about him and he’s always been about him. This fight doesn’t work for me and my brand.’ He started telling me all the reasons why he doesn’t want this fight and I just said, ‘Whatever kid, whatever.’ He wants nothing to do with Hector. Hector wants this fight, Woodley does not.

It’s not good for his brand? Is Woodley even aware that Lombard is the king of rebranding? That’s “Shower There” Lombard you’re talking about, so show some goddamn respect!

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Beef of the Day: Alistair Overeem and Anthony Johnson Are Just a Couple of P*ssies (Their Words, Not Ours)


(“But why is the lady having sex with the horse when she could be eating it?” via FighterXFashion.)

If Hollywood ever opted to do a straight-up remake of Predator starring only MMA fighters (not that they ever, *ever* should), I’d like to think that Alistair Overeem and Anthony “Rumble” Johnson would be prime candidates for the Dutch and Dillon roles, respectively, based purely on body mass. I say this despite the fact that the former has been rapidly shrinking down from heavyweight and the latter steadily ballooning up from welterweight in recent years.

Come to think of it, it’s entirely possible that Rumble has been slowly accumulating/absorbing Overeem’s mass through some sort of voodoo this entire time. Johnson and Overeem are former “Blackzilian” training partners, for one, which means that Rumble could have easily secured the hair strand/toenail clipping/jar of sweat necessary to conduct such a voodoo ritual, and both appear to hate the everloving sh*t out of each other. It’s the only logical explanation outside of “Johnson was never a true welterweight and Overeem owed his Herculean physique to steroids” that I can honestly think of.

But back to the rivalry between these two, which was reignited when Overeem busted up Jon Jones in a training session that in turn led to the cancellation of Jones vs.Cormier at UFC 178. Johnson inserted himself into the situation by more or less claiming that Overeem did it on purpose before calling him out, to which Overeem responded by calling Johnson a “p*ssy.”

Looking to continue the middle school method of hyping a fight that hasn’t been booked yet, Johnson lashed out at Overeem on Twitter this morning:

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The UFC 177 Salaries Prove How Wrong We All Were About UFC 177′s Stacked Lineup


(Unfortunately, the catcalls directed towards Ms. Baker could not be heard that night, as they were drowned out by the deafening chirps of a thousand crickets. Photo via Getty.)

By Jared Jones (channeling Dana White’s inner rage) 

‘Sup, fuckers. D-White here.

You know, there was a lot of disgusting, f*cking despicable things being said about the quality of UFC 177 and its lineup by you f*cking asshole media members in the weeks leading up to it. Jonathan Snowdick said he wasn’t buying it, and that everyone should send a message to me about the continually dwindling quality of our product by doing the same. Those CagePotato bastards couldn’t even be bothered to liveblog it, and Dave Meltzer said some nasty things too, because Dave Meltzer is a f*cking scumbag asshole.

Sure, maybe the card lost an Olympianit’s original co-main event, and it’s main event at the last minute. And yeah, UFC 177 as a whole only contained two fighters ranked in the top 15 in their division, and only two of the 144 ranked fighters in all 9 divisions, but this card was worth every penny of the $54.99 it cost, you unappreciative fucks! CRITICIZING SOMETHING MEANS YOU HATE IT.

Let me ask you this, you insatiable, armchair expert, dickhead media members: If UFC 177 was so shitty, then surely the fighters salaries would reflect it, right? Well, read ‘em and weep!

T.J. Dillashaw: $100,000 (includes $50,000 win bonus)
def. Joe Soto: $20,000

Tony Ferguson: $40,000 (includes $20,000 win bonus)
def. Danny Castillo: $36,000

Bethe Correia: $24,000 (includes $12,000 win bonus)
def. Shayna Baszler: $8,000

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Friday Links: Rockhold vs. Machida in the Works, TUF: Latin America Episode 1, Funniest ‘Final Destination’ Death-GIFs + More


(WEC NEVA DIE. Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

Dana White: Luke Rockhold Will Probably Fight Lyoto Machida, Not Michael Bisping (BleacherReport)

TUF Latin America: Episode 1 (MMAShare)

Nevada Attorney General Goes After Wanderlei Silva, Wants NSAC to Deny Brazilian’s Motion for Drug Test Dismissal (MMAMania)

Stunning New Visions from Brit Bliss (Babes of MMA)

Matt Wiman Returns From 22 Month Layoff to Face Isaac Vallie-Flagg @ UFC Fight Night Austin (UFC.com)

“Big” John McCarthy’s Son Will Be a Judge at UFC 177 (Sherdog)

Here’s a GIF of Michael Chandler Dancing Like a Goof and King Mo Shaking His Head at Him (twitter)

Manny Pacquiao Selected 11th Pick in Philippines Basketball Draft (TerezOwens)

Megan Fox’s First Pitch at a Korean Baseball Game Was a Little Low and Inside (DrunkenStepfather)

Is Ultimate Dodgeball on the Verge of Becoming the Next Cool Sport? (AskMen)

Shadow of Mordor Hands-On Preview: Natural Enemies (GameFront)

Madden 15: An Interview With Creative Director Mike Young (MiddleEasy)

17 of the Funniest Deaths From the Final Destination Series (ScreenJunkies)

Playboy Releases “When It’s Okay to Catcall Her” Flowchart (PopHangover)

Police Accidentally Kill ‘Cops’ Crewman During Shootout (EveryJoe)

39 Sexy Pics of ‘Glee’ Stunner Dianna Agron (Radass)

Best Cult Classic Ever – From Evil Dead to Rocky Horror (EscapistMagazine)

The 20 Funniest Moments In Sorority Girl History (WorldWideInterweb)

What I Learned Working on Every Simpsons Ever (MadeMan)

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[VIDEO] Jose Aldo Shoves Chad Mendes at the UFC 179 Media Day


(via MMAFighting.)

In a move nobody could have possibly seen coming (nobody I tells ya!), Jose Aldo and Chad Mendes got a little physical at today’s UFC 179 media day. More specifically, Aldo shoved Mendes after the two exchanged some words (I can’t be certain, but I’m pretty sure Mendes told Aldo he was going to “f*ck him up”). To reiterate: There is absolutely *no way* this was staged or pre-rehearsed, so all you conspiracy theorists can just stuff it.

Seriously though, how hilarious would it be if the UFC regularly started staging confrontations to sell PPV’s? The Jones-Cormier scuffle earned them a spot on Sportscenter and easily a couple hundred (thousand) more PPV buys, so the potential is obviously there. Aldo’s hype and status as a PPV draw is ever-dwindling, so what better opportunity to play up the grudge angle? The format is simple: Have both guys talk some smack on Twitter, get in a controlled scuffle at media day, and I dunno, maybe have Mendes take a steel chair to Aldo’s back at the weigh-ins. I know what you’re thinking…

…and you’re right, but don’t call me Jerry.

THIS JUST IN: Jose Aldo breaks leg, UFC 179 cancelled (not really, but it’ll probably happen soon.)

-J. Jones

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Quote of the Day: Bobby Green Thinks Donald Cerrone Is a Woman-Groping Racist


(*And* he’s a nacho stealer? When did you go so wrong, Cowboy?!!)

You gotta feel for Bobby Green right about now. In the past month, “King” has been scheduled for two different fights at UFC 178 — first against former Strikeforce title challenger Jorge Masvidal and then against Donald Cerrone in the evening’s co-main event, only to have both cancelled on short notice. The Masvidal fight was scrapped in favor of the Cerrone fight, which was then scrapped when Eddie Alvarez signed with the UFC and was subsequently booked against Cerrone. As a result, Green has now found himself without a dance partner for UFC 178.

It’d be easy to understand Green’s frustrations, given the likely massive paychecks he is missing out on for not being “high-profile” enough. Whether or not these frustrations played a part in his interview with The MMA Hour yesterday, during which he accused Cerrone of racist comments and inappropriate behavior with several female fans during a recent UFC Fan Expo, remains to be seen. Still though, Green held nothing back when discussing the behavior of his short-lived opponent:

He just said some racist stuff. He said stuff like, random racist stuff like ‘we gotta check him, we gotta check him, you know how black people like to steal.’ I’m like ‘what the,’ and I’m getting hot in front of thousands of people, all these people are here for the signing and they’re going ‘ohhhh’ and ‘ooooh’ and ‘ahhh.

He was groping every woman in his line to do his signing. He’s groping these women. They’ve got husbands, they’ve got fiancees, they’ve got boyfriends, I’m like, that’s messed up man, just because this guy’s a nerd and he can’t do anything to you, you’re going to do this to him. Girlfriend’s cute, Donald Cerrone, picks her up, grabs her ass, starts grabbing on there and stuff and he’s like “I’m Donald Cerrone.” I’m like, ‘you’re going to piss somebody off, you get the wrong person they’re going to get pissed.’ He’s like, ‘what are they going to do to me, I’ll knock them out.’ I’m like what the? This guy’s full of himself.

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Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira To Retire! In 2015!


(via Nog’s Instagram)

There was a time, not too long ago, when Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira was considered indestructible. Beatable maybe, but finishable? Please. What was Fedor or Cro Cop or Werdum going to do to Big Nog that a Mac truck hadn’t already done? You could drop an anvil on this guy’s face, an anvil I tells ya, and his jaw would split the sumbitch in half like a coconut.

Lately, however, Nogueira has looked something less than invincible in the octagon. He’s looked slow, tired, vulnerable. That he’s been finished in all five of his past losses (alongside which he has earned just three wins) further points to his ever-deteriorating skillset, with his most recent knockout loss to Roy Nelson being a particularly tough pill to swallow. Or even look at. Yet he forges ahead, despite near constant protests by fans, media members, and most likely his family to call it quits.

I know, you’ve heard this all before — hell, I’ve probably lamented Nog’s stubbornness a couple dozen times by now. But today brings good news, Potato Nation! In an interview with Ag.Fight (via MMAFighting), “Minotauro” finally discussed his retirement! Hallelujer!!

And the best news is…it’s not happening as soon it should, actually…

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Uh, Guys, You Might Want to Check Out What Hector Lombard’s New Nickname Is


(I can’t wait for the day when Bruce Buffer misreads this as Hector “Shower There” Lombard.)

I like to consider myself something of an expert when it comes to MMA nicknames (I know, hold your applause). I’ve written on the worst of the worst, the best of the best, the most ironic, and everything in between. I even once received an email from Justin McCully demanding a full retraction and apology for my ceaseless trashing of the insult to the English language he called a nickname. I never responded to him, but if you will, allow me to use this time to do just that in a language he might understand.

JuZ10 McCul-E aka “THE NSane1″ IZ Not AC2ALlY IlliteR8, U GIYZ. SOrrY.

Speaking of fighters I’ll probably be getting a vitriol-filled email from in the near future, check out Hector Lombard’s incomprehensible new nickname (via a recent Facebook post):

ANNOUNCEMENT:

Hector “Lightning” Lombard and the brand has undergone a significant transformation. I wanted my new identity to satisfy my growth and perseverance as a professional competitive athlete.

From this moment on, I will be known as Hector “Showeather” Lombard. Through any ups and downs, through any injuries, wins or losses, I will always show up and do my best. I will always continue through fight THRU ANY WEATHER.

Thank you to everyone who has supported and has continue to show love and support. I’m feeling better and starting to train again, I can’t wait till the next match!

“Through any injuries, wins or losses, I will always show up and do my best. I will always continue through fight THRU ANY WEATHER.”

Related: Hector Lombard Injured, Tyron Woodley vs. Dong Hyun Kim Booked for UFC Macau

-J. Jones

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