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Misc. - Page 5

UFC Fighters and the (Fictional) Crimes They’ve Committed: The Winners!


(Dennis Hallman — Catfishing. Photo via Esther Lin/MMAFighting.)

Last week’s “UFC Fighters and the Fictional Crimes They’ve Committed” contest, if nothing else, proved that MMA-themed comedy is not as easy as it sounds. If you don’t believe me, just ask that MMA Roasted guy (*mimes shotgun blast*). There were some mildly amusing entries among your overplayed and plain confusing attempts at humor, however, so let’s get to the honorable mentions…

Rick Gemi: Rashad Evans – Brandishing a stanky leg without a license

Brad Fowler: Ben Henderson — receiving stolen property (decisions)

Jay Smith: Brock Lesnar — Impersonating a UFC fighter

Travis Anderson: Tim Sylvia — Public Defecation

Just so you guys are aware, dropping a Tim Sylvia poop joke will earn you an honorable mention at the minimum in all future contests, as per the CagePotato mandate.

And now, the winners…

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Friday Links: Chael Sonnen Not Fighting for a Title Shot After All, James Irvin Signs With Bellator, And the Worst Planet Fitness Video Ever


(UFC yearbook photo of the day: Alexander Gustafsson, tall kid. Click for full-size image. I especially like how the teacher is rocking an Armani Exchange t-shirt on picture day. #Sweden / Photo via Sherdog forums)

UFC 175′s Sonnen vs. Belfort Targeted for Middleweight, Title Stakes Clarified (MMAJunkie)

Fight Booking Funny Business at Xplode Fight Series (BloodyElbow)

James Irvin Signs With Bellator, Will Face Brennan Ward on 9/5 (Sherdog)

The 8 Craziest MMA Viral Videos of 1st Half of 2014 (BleacherReport)

Luke Cummo Is Still Making Incoherent YouTube Videos (YouTube)

Funniest Senior Yearbook Quotes of All Time (PopHangover)

16 Photos of Rachel Ann Mullins — Actress, Model, and ‘Entourage’ Sushi Girl (HolyTaco)

New Clippers Owner Steve Ballmer’s Craziest Moments (TerezOwens)

10 of the Absolute Worst Fast Food Choices You Can Make (EveryJoe)

The Sexiest Female Sports Reporters of All Time (Ranker)

People Left Hanging: 20 Awesome GIFs (OfficiallyFun)

Disable Cable: The Five Best Streaming Devices (HiConsumption)

Hana Jirickova Lookin’ Hot in a Bathing Suit (DrunkenStepfather)

Fat Guy at Planet Fitness Works Out While Eating Pizza Because He’s a Goddamn Hero (Guyism)

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Friday Links: Dana White’s Rich Guy Problems, WSOF Books Burkman vs. Fitch III, Every Face Punch From ‘Road House’ + More


(That Elliott dude is basically Spider from Goodfellas. He’s going to snap back at Dana one day and get shot for it. / Props: TheMMAMoguls)

UFC Embedded: In Which Dana White Is Banned From Gambling at the Palms (MMAFighting)

Josh Burkman vs. Jon Fitch III booked for WSOF 11 co-headliner (MMAJunkie)

Dan Henderson Feeling ‘Pretty Good’ Off TRT, But Doesn’t Think Banning It Solved the Real Problem (MMAWeekly)

Dana White Says Ronda Rousey Beat Up Two Huge Men so Badly They Filed Charges (BleacherReport)

UFC on FOX 12: Daron Cruickshank vs. Jorge Masvidal Booked for July 26 in San Jose (MMAMania)

When Road Rage Turns Into Street Fighting (Break)

Patrick Cummins Gets His Next UFC Fight Booked (Sherdog)

The Most Hilarious Things About the Lawsuit Filed Against Johnny Manziel (EveryJoe)

Disney Princesses With Steve Buscemi Eyes (PopHangover)

A Brief History of NBA Teammates Yelling at One Another (Complex)

Classic Crush: Betsy Russell, ‘Private School’ Superbabe of the ’80s (HolyTaco)

The 20 Most Amazing Railway Stations in the World (HiConsumption)

Every Face Punch From ‘Road House’ (FilmDrunk)

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UFC Signee Dashon Johnson, Xplode Fight Series, and The Practice of Padding Records to Produce Talent


(Say what you will about Dashon’s qualifications, but there’s no denying that the dude packs an epic punch-face.)

Meet Dashon Johnson, a.k.a “Fly Boy” a.k.a the latest undefeated “prospect” to be signed by the UFC. A former professional boxer who amassed a by definition mediocre record of 15-15, Johnson has gone 9-0 as an MMA fighter and was recently booked to face TUF Nations washout Jake Matthews at Fight Night 43. I know, you’ve probably already marked this fight down on your calendars.

Without getting into a whole “Royston Wee” thing again, or beating the dead horse that is the firings/non-signings of guys like Jake Shields and Ben Askren, I will say with full confidence that Mr. Johnson has perhaps the most padded MMA record of a UFC fighter since Jason Reinhardt. Don’t believe me? Well thankfully, BloodyElbow’s Mookie Alexander and Pro MMANow’s Jack Bratcher have done a little investigating into the record of “Fly Boy,” and here’s what they found.

The combined record of Johnson’s opponents to date is 13-39, with 12 of those wins belonging to one fighter, Brady Harrison. Even worse, at the time Johnson faced each of the tomato cans his record has been padded with, these were their records (in chronological order):

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VIDEO: Bruce Buffer Introduces Michael Bisping and His Wife at Their Wedding, As Only Bruce Buffer Can


(Props: Rick J. Lee)

UFC veteran Michael Bisping married his longtime girlfriend Rebecca Sidwick in California last weekend and got Veteran Voice of the Octagon™ Bruce Buffer to introduce the couple after the ceremony. True to form, Buffer sells the hell out of the script. (“…entering the true fighting arena of champions called MARRIAGE”…”as they walk down the AISLE of LOVE, FOREVERRRR…”)

Your move, Jill and Kevin.

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New York’s Professional MMA Ban Is Actually Posing a Health Crisis Now


(BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!)

Despite calling it my home for some 22 years, I have long since given up on the idea of MMA being legalized in New York. We’ve had the carrot dangled in front of us several times before, sure, but when push came to shove, the rug was always pulled out from under us thanks to what I can only describe as “bureaucratic big-whiggery bullshit.” I blame you for all of this, Bob Reilly, you rat-faced c*cksucker.

While the fight towards professional MMA legalization in NY rages on, there have been some small steps made over the years, mainly in the realm of amatuer MMA. Unfortunately, the lack of anything resembling regulation has created something of a health crisis, with athletes that have previously tested positive for everything from HIV to Hepatitis C flooding the state to compete in unsanctioned MMA and kickboxing matches after being banned from doing so in states with actual regulation. As Jim Genia wrote in a recent piece for Deadspin:

Nick Lembo, chief counsel for the New Jersey State Athletic Control Board and overseer of all things MMA in the Garden State, lays out the issue as straightforwardly as anyone could.

“There have been many contestants who have been banned from regulated combative sport in New Jersey because of subdural hematoma, hepatitis C, HIV, detached retinas, and other medical concerns who have competed freely in amateur MMA and kickboxing in New York under the direct supervision of state-approved sanctioning bodies, or at shows without such direct supervision,” he says.

He can’t name these athletes—New Jersey privacy laws and federal HIPAA regulations prevent that—but according to him, dozens of them have fought and bled in New York rings and cages.

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Wednesday Links: Travis Browne’s Anti-Wrestling Elbows, Details on TUF: Latin America, The World’s Most Violent Plants + More


(“And after your opponent hits the ground, make sure you walk away with your arms raised, like you just performed the world’s greatest magic trick.” / Funny stuff from Mixed Martial Animations)

A Cheerful Nick Diaz Reacts to the News of Shogun Rua’s Mugging in Brazil (PopCandiesTV)

Hector Lombard ‘Not Impressed’ by Fellow UFC Contender Matt Brown (MMAJunkie)

Jason DeLucia vs. Trent Jenkins: Previously Unseen Alternate Bout From UFC 1 (YouTube)

Managers Express Concerns Over Bellator’s Sticky Contracts (BloodyElbow)

Rosters, Start Date For TUF: Latin America Revealed (FiveOuncesofPain)

TJ Dillashaw Hitting Pads on an Airplane (UFC Instagram)

The 2014 NBA Playoff Coaches and Their Serial Killer Equivalents (HolyTaco)

Meet Cherie DeVille: Adult Film Star, Gamer and Doctor (EveryJoe)

What Your Choice of Social Media Says About You (Guyism)

Quiz: How Much Do You Know About the ‘Wolfenstein’ Series? (EscapistMagazine)

Bras Optional — 41 Photos (Radass)

The World’s Most Violent Plants (Ranker)

Tetyana Veryovkina: Lingerie Model of the Day (DrunkenStepfather)

Not My Best Day: The Friend Zone (PopHangover)

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“How to Be a Loser”: Rich Franklin Discusses the Lessons of Defeat at TEDxUChicago


(Props: TEDx Talks via MMAJunkie)

“I believe that there’s a potential loser in each and every one of you.”

It’s not exactly the kind of line you’d expect to hear during one of those usually uplifting TED speeches — but learning how to react to defeat and learn from it is one of the greatest lessons that former UFC middleweight champion Rich Franklin can give us. In this must-see monologue from last month’s TEDxUChicago, Franklin discusses his crushing first loss to Anderson Silva, why his win over Travis Lutter remains his favorite fight, and what it means to be an “effective loser” and to “lose with the effort of a champion.” Check it out…

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Breathe Easy Alert: Ken Shamrock and Dana White Squash Beef, Hug it Out, Bitch


(One feud down, so, so many feuds to go. Via Shamrock’s Twitter.)

Dana White’s list of beefs, rivalries, personal vendettas and blood feuds is a long and storied one, and one that includes (but is not limited to): former employees, journalists/websites, and of course, all major competitors of the UFC*. Easily in the top five of that list is UFC Hall of Famer Ken Shamrock, who in addition to owing White/the UFC a shitton of money, has been using every possible media appearance over the years to bash his former promotion on everything from its fighter pay policies to its rumored uniforms. Toss in a failed lawsuit back in 2006 and it appeared as if Shamrock would forever be on the outside looking in.

However, now that Shammy has achieved financial security as a bodyguard to the stars, it appears as if he has entered the “making amends” phase of his 12-step recovery, so to speak. TMZ Sports is reporting that, following a 45-minute phone conversation, White and Shamrock have finally ended their long-standing feud.

Dana tells us, “Ken Shamrock and I spoke and we have squashed our beef.”

As for Shamrock … he says the call wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows — they addressed some tough issues — but in the end, were able to come to an understanding and decided to bury the hatchet. 

“It’s bigger than us. It’s good for the UFC. It’s good for the fans.”

You hear that, guys? This means Shamrock can finally get that UFC fight he is owed! I am on pins and needles waiting for the UFC to announce UFC 180: Shamrock vs. Liddell — sponsored by Enzyte, Activia, and the Committee to Stop Those Punk Kids From Skateboarding on the Sidewalks. WHO YOU GOT?

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Bellator 120 Weigh-In GIFs: Rampage Jackson Shoves King Mo, Tito Ortiz Has Some Size on Alexander Shlemenko


(Come on Rampage, how you gonna punk King Mo like that in front of his umbrella ho?)


(That moment when you realize you should have brought Berz Dog for backup.)

GIFs via ZombieProphet. Full Bellator 120 weigh-in results are after the jump via MMAJunkie.

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