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21 Humans Who Make Being Human Look Really, Really Hard

Misc. - Page 71

Gina Carano Is in Love With Christmas, You Guys

Gina Carano Twitter photo
Gina Carano twitter Christmas
(Images courtesy of,

Gina Carano has been spending most of her time on a movie set lately, but she took a moment earlier today to make sure that everybody is in the holiday spirit. To be honest, I wasn’t until I saw that picture of Gina Carano. Now I’m ready to put some muhfuckin’ ornaments on a tree, y’feel me? Though Gina has kept quiet about her return to MMA, Scott Coker hopes to see her back in a Strikeforce cage next summer. In the meantime, we have enough MMA sex symbols to keep us busy


Logan Stanton Calls Her Firing ‘Very Unprofessional’

Logan Stanton UFC ring girl

The world is still searching for answers in the wake of the shocking dual-firing of UFC Octagon Girls Logan Stanton and Natasha Wicks — and it turns out that the women were just as shocked as we were. Though Wicks has played it rather low-key so far, thanking her fans and the UFC via Twitter, Stanton spoke to MMA Fighting to explain that her dismissal came completely out of the blue:

Stanton said she received a call from a UFC executive on Tuesday, informing her that her contract would not be picked up for another year.
"I was like, ‘Wait, what? Are you breaking up with me?,’" Stanton said jokingly. "It totally took me by surprise. Natasha actually texted me a little bit before I got the phone call. She was like, ‘The UFC just dropped me,’ and I was like, ‘What? Why?’ I was confused about that. So when he told me he had bad news, I was like, ‘Oh, I already know.’ And then he pulled that one on me. And I was like, ‘Wow.’ I was kind of in shock at the time. I even said, ‘Ok, thank you. Bye.’ I was lame. I just said thanks. I really didn’t know what to say to him. I was kind of upset for a minute. I teared up. And after that, I just became a little angry."

As for the rumors that her and Natasha’s fate was sealed by their interview with our own Ben Fowlkes, in which they accused Josh Koscheck of faking his eye injury during his UFC 106 fight against Anthony Johnson?


Famous Last Words: Dan Hardy Edition

(For reference: St. Pierre vs. Serra 1, UFC 69, 4/7/07.)

From an interview with #1 welterweight contender Dan Hardy on Sherdog:

“I’ve accepted that, at some point, [St. Pierre is] going to take me down. I’ve accepted that I’m going to be fighting off my back for some of the fight and I’m just going to work to get back to my feet and do what damage I can from my back…I don’t want it to become too much of an issue — defending the takedown — because I won’t throw like I do against anybody else,” Hardy said. “I don’t want to be holding back on any of my kicks and punches because, at the end of the day, that’s what is going to win me the fight. My intention is to go in there, throw hard, just like Matt Serra did, but obviously a little more technical — I’m a little quicker and more technical. I’ve got reach and weight on Matt Serra, so I can do exactly what he did but a lot better…
The fight’s basically going to be, I would say, two rounds of me defending takedowns and getting up off my back and landing shots as soon as I can, as soon as I can get some space, and in the third round I think I will connect with something clean and hurt him,” Hardy said. “I certainly think by that time he will already be opened up and bleeding.”

For the Record, Shane Carwin Wouldn’t Have Pussied Out of His Fight Against Lesnar

Shane Carwin fans UFC MMA
("I gotta be honest, guys, I’m on so much NyQuil right now that I can’t tell which one of you is Logan and which one is Natasha.")

From a blog post published yesterday afternoon on

Everyone from the UPS driver to my boss has asked me how I feel about Brock pulling out of the fight on November the 21st. My initial reaction was disappointment. My heart honestly sank as I thought about my family and friends making the trip, and all the training, preparation and excitement I had for this fight.
Last week was the first week that I actually started feeling better from a strain of the swine flu. I had lost over 15 pounds (something I could not afford to loose) and had just pulled some muscles in my leg during training. As 104 approached my manager said, “we should be thankful we are not fighting, from your re-broken nose to the leg, this wasn’t our time”. As I prepared to go to 104, I began slowly realizing what was ahead of me; I needed to be home training and rehabbing, not traveling and missing days of necessary time with my Team. I was due to be fighting for the UFC Heavyweight title. I called Jason back and said you are right, but I can’t go to LA I need to train.
I was reminded about my commitments to the fans at Kmart and the Q&A, and I knew I had to go. In LA I was reminded exactly why we do this sport. Fans were all over the place and every interaction was a positive one. While at Kmart I meet a young man who competes in the Special Olympics and he said he looked up to us fighters. I was so taken back by the fact that he put us fighters on a pedestal. Here was this young man who defied incredible odds in life to reach the Olympics and he pushes himself every day to do things you and I take for granted. I was bitching about a flu, my leg (that would heal), and taking time away from training and this young man looks up to me? He gave me his Octagon necklace and I do not think he realized what an impact he made on me.

Rampage Jackson: ‘The UFC Looked Like A-Holes This Weekend’

Quinton Rampage Jackson A-Team UFC
("…I, on the other hand, look like a very intelligent and compassionate person." Photo via

Most longtime fans have gone through some variation of the following experience: You spend months trying to convince your co-workers that MMA is the baddest sport ever invented, and they need to give it a chance. So they come over to your place one night to watch a UFC event, and what they see instead is sloppy brawling, boring ground-hugging, and inexplicable judges’ decisions. "It’s usually a lot better than this," you say desperately as they slowly file out the door. But it’s too late; they’re gone, they won’t be back, and you’ll be eating most of your lunches alone from now on. It’s a humiliating feeling. Now imagine if those co-workers were Oscar-nominated actor Liam Neeson and The Hangover‘s Bradley Cooper, and you’ll have an idea of what Quinton "Rampage" Jackson had to endure on Saturday. Sour grape warning begins now:

I was watching the fight this weekend with the director of the A Team movie, the movie crew & a couple of actors & I never been ashamed to be a part of MMA till now. The UFC looked like assholes this weekend. The main event was boring. I anticipated that because let’s be real.. Machida is a boring fighter. But Shogun getting robbed like that was pretty cut throat. Then you hear Joe Rogan say you "you have to beat the champ to be a champ." & that made me think the UFC are full of shit! Not to be whiny here but I still don’t feel like I’ve been beat in the UFC.. but I’m not champ anymore. If the UFC gives Shogun an immediate rematch because of the controversial loss then that would validate everything I have said about the UFC in my recent posts & why I’m pissed at the UFC. But yet he deserves one & so have I deserved one against Forrest.

Anti-MMA Protests to Be Featured on Sunday’s Episode of ‘The Simpsons’

As a white skinhead, it’s no surprise that Homer Simpson would be into MMA. What’s surprising is that The Simpsons will be devoting an entire episode to the sport this Sunday (8/7c). Is it a desperate attempt by the 21-year-old series to generate interest among young males, most of whom moved on to Family Guy a long time ago? Quite possibly! But hey, score another one for the mainstream acceptance of cage-fighting. has the synopsis of this Sunday’s episode, which is titled "The Great Wife Hope":

When the male population of Springfield becomes obsessed with Mixed Martial Arts, Marge and some friends organize a protest. A MMA show promoter gets wind of Marge’s protest and challenges her to a match and agrees to shut down the show if Marge wins.

Believe it or not, that’s exactly how Lina Kvokov got booked to fight Kim Couture last year. No word yet if the promoter will be a thinly-veiled Dana White-parody, but FiveOuncesofPain hears that Dancing With the Stars‘s Chuck Liddell will make a cameo in the episode, hopefully to tell Marge that she’s an killjoy idiot who should find something else to protest, before having sex with her in a nightclub bathroom.

So do any of you still watch this show? Is Maggie talking yet? Did Burns and Smithers ever consummate their relationship?


Dana White Would Like You to Temper Your Expectations for the Rest of ‘TUF 10′

Kimbo Slice TUF 10 Ultimate Fighter UFC
(Look, we’re just as upset as you are. Photo courtesy of URDirt.)

It wasn’t long ago that Dana White was telling us that The Ultimate Fighter: Heavyweights was "some of the best television ever." (Ever! Right up there with the Newhart finale!) But after three weeks, reality is beginning to set in. What we’ve gotten, above everything else, is three embarassingly bad fights: Jon Madsen‘s one-sided takedown clinic against the hapless Abe Wagner, James McSweeney‘s sloppy and questionably deserved decision win over Wes "Wheezy" Shivers, and Roy Nelson‘s methodical, anti-climactic TKO of Kimbo Slice. It’s a shame that all those new viewers haven’t seen any quality MMA matches so far. Well, Dana feels your pain, and recently jumped on the Real Talk Express with Yahoo!’s Kevin Iole:

“The fight (between Slice and Nelson) sucked. I wasn’t happy with any of the fights the first three weeks, to be honest. I was disappointed by the way we came out of the gate in terms of the fights. But the fights really get better. By episode 8, believe me when I tell you, you’re going to be going wild.”

Wait a minute, so the next four episodes suck too? Does this mean that when <SPOILERS>Kimbo replaces a feverish Marcus Jones in the next episode to take on Brendan Schaub</SPOILERS>, that fight’s no good either? Cripes. It doesn’t help that this season — like last season — isn’t offering much in the way of entertaining personalities or house drama. (Why The A-Hole Show hasn’t gotten any screen time yet is anybody’s guess.) Marcus is a black dude who loves flowers and 20-sided-dice? Oooooooh! Piss in a fucking fruit tray or stop wasting my time, okay?


First Look: Quinton Jackson on the Set of ‘The A-Team’

The A-Team Quinton Rampage Jackson Liam Neeson Bradley Cooper Sharlto Copley
(Props: via WatchKalibRun)

Why so serious, Rampage? Yep, that’s former UFC fighter Quinton Jackson searching for his motivation on the set of The A-Team in Vancouver. To his right are Liam Neeson (as John "Hannibal" Smith),  District 9‘s Sharlto Copley (as Capt. "Howling Mad" Murdock) and Bradley Cooper (as Lt. Templeton "Faceman" Peck). According to ComingSoon, the flick will also feature Jessica Biel as an Army general who pursues the team — they’re casting for realism, I see! — and Patrick Wilson as a CIA operative.

More photos after the jump, which show that B.A. Baracus’s famous mohawk might have to be added in post-production.


Chris Tuchscherer Didn’t Know He Could Stop Fighting

Chris Tuchscherer MMA UFC 102
(Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

You know what the most painful part of Chris Tuchscherer‘s loss to Gabriel Gonzaga at UFC 102 was? Getting place-kicked in the nuts, obviously. But you know what the second most painful part of that loss was? The fact that he was basically forced to keep fighting by inept Portland officials. While fans figured Tuchscherer’s decision to fight on after the illegal groin-shot was simply because he’s a tough son of a bitch, Chris told a different story to MMA Junkie:

"No one knew what was going on…between the doctor and the referee. No one could tell me a straight answer on if I couldn’t finish what would be the result. So I was out there and didn’t know what to do. I asked the doctor many times what would happen if I can’t continue. ‘Is it a no-contest? What happens here?’ And the doctor and the ref couldn’t tell me. They kept passing the buck on to each other out there, so no one could tell me what was going on."
About that time, Lesnar came cageside to check on Tuscherer. The heavyweight champ first inquired on his training partner’s health, at which time Tuscherer told him he thought, "My [testicle] is up inside my body."

Quotes of the Day: Brett Rogers and Fabricio Werdum Like Their Chances

Fedor Emelianenko Brett Rogers MMA Strikeforce
("I must break you. Right after I get a few more of those doughnuts." Photo courtesy of ShoSports.)

Brett "The Grim" Rogers on his upcoming matchup with Fedor Emelianenko:

"I feel that I’m a different fighter for Fedor; Fedor hasn’t felt the power that he’s about to get. You see what I mean? It’s definitely gonna be a fun fight, man. He’s talented, but the same things he’s skilled in, I’m skilled in.* It’s just we just gonna see who’s more hungry.**

Basically, a fighter for his size, his weight, just the way his aggression, when he takes top he’s good at controlling the top position. So, I’ve been trying to work with guys that can kinda mock him***; he may have that, a couple pounds less than me… But if he’s expecting to take top, and hold top, it’s not gonna happen.**** I’m definitely gonna re-position myself whenever I get in danger and hopefully get back to the feet and finish it off." —

* Seriously, Brett? Are you really suggesting that you can draw as well as the Last Emperor?

** You mean who’s literally more hungry? Because you both come across as very hungry people. Big eaters, is all I’m saying. Come to think of it, a pie-eating contest between the two of you would probably be a lot more competitive than a cage-fight.

*** There’s only one guy who could possibly take on that job.

**** It might happen. It’s probably going to happen.