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Misc. - Page 8

Poll: Which Injury/Disease Will Inevitably Take Down Tito Ortiz *This* Time?


(“Sorry Bjorn, Von Willebrand disease.”)

Last week, Bellator middleweight champ Alexander Shlemenko called out Tito Ortiz via a stoic, multilingual Youtube video, even though he understood that “Tito Ortiz, different weight class.” Ortiz immediately accepted the fight via Instagram because he’s real good at accepting fights, and before we had time to stop and ask, “Wait, what the fuck?”, Bellator went and booked the fight for their May 17th pay-per-view. Bjorn Rebney’s line of reasoning was as follows:

Tito wants a fight. Shlemenko wants a fight. As a fan, I would love to see the fight. I think it’s got this incredible, kinda cool dynamic going where a small 85er who could conceptually make 70 is going to move up to 205 to fight one of the greatest fighters in the history of 205. 

I can’t even with that logic, so for now let’s just focus on the matchup at hand, and more specifically, how it will never actually happen on account of Ortiz pulling out with an injury or sickness in the coming weeks.

Tito Ortiz may be one of the greatest 205ers of all time, but he also has, as Rebney admitted, “a long and storied history of getting injured preparing for fights.” He was injured pretty much his entire UFC career, if you were to ask him, and it’s been the same for his Bellator career thus far. That being the case, we all might as well speculate as to the extent of the injury he will inevitably pull out of *this* fight with, right? It’s the Christian thing to do, so join us after the jump to vote in our poll.

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Friday Links: The Best UFC Fight Night Abu Dhabi Knockouts (So Far), UFC Expands Drug-Testing Policy, The Most Florida Moments in Florida History + More


(This might be the smoothest “look low, kick high” knockout we’ve ever seen. / Props: MiddleEasy)

Thales Leites Earns His First-Ever Knockout Victory in the UFC, During Fight Night Abu Dhabi Prelims (Facebook.com/CagePotato)

Johnny Bedford Knocks Rani Yahya Out With Headbutt, Loses Mind at ‘No Contest’ Announcement (BloodyElbow)

Ramsey Nijem Destroys Beneil Dariush at Fight Night Abu Dhabi [GIF] (ZombieProphet)

Cheaters Beware! UFC Boss Dana White Confirms Promotion Is Drug Testing ‘The Whole Card From Now On’ (MMAMania)

Randy Couture: A UFC Doctor Introduced Vitor Belfort to TRT (BleacherReport)

Alistair Overeem Officially Decides to Join Jackson-Winkeljohn (MMAFighting)

25 Students Who Are NOT Having Their Best Day (PopHangover)

The Seven Most Florida Things to Ever Florida (HolyTaco)

This Emma Watson/Sofia Vergara GIF Will Give You Nightmares (EveryJoe)

8 Reasons Why We Should All Love Stephen Colbert (EscapistMagazine)

The Elder Scrolls Online: The First 10 Levels (GameFront)

20 Photos You’ll Laugh at Way More Than You Should (WorldWideInterweb)

Hopped Up: The 12 Best Double IPAs (HiConsumption)

This Video of a Little Kid Flopping During a Game Proves That the Future of Basketball Is Probably Doomed (Complex)

The 101 Hottest Celebrity Instagram Pictures This Week (Guyism)

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Gina Carano Gets Her Underwear Ripped Off While Handcuffed, And Other Interesting GIFs From ‘In the Blood’ [Gallery/Clickbait]


(Don’t worry, Gina gets out of this one with her honor intact. / Props to BJPenn.com for the find.)

Y’know, I wasn’t sure if I was going to waste 108 minutes watching the new Gina Carano action movie, In the Blood. But apparently, there’s a scene in which Gina, while handcuffed, has her jean shorts and panties roughly removed by a scummy local police officer, and I’m going to be honest — that is very relevant to my interests.

Twelve more amazing Gina Carano GIFs from In the Blood are in the gallery after the jump. Special thanks to swedishfishrule for making most of them, and feel free to complain in the comments section about how Gina Carano has nothing to do with MMA anymore, and we shouldn’t be covering stuff like this. Maybe read this article about how Dana White would give Carano an immediate UFC title shot if she decided to return to fighting, and Ronda Rousey is totally down with that idea. That should make you feel better, right?

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ICYMI: Brock Lesnar Snaps The Undertaker’s Wrestlemania Win Streak at Wrestlemania XXX


(Your reaction. Enjoy it before it gets taken down.)

By Seth Falvo

I know how some of you don’t like it when we bring up professional wrestling in these parts. Professional wrestling is scripted. Professional wrestlers are on steroids, and not the cool ones that MMA fighters take/the ones MMA fighters used to be allowed to openly take. Professional wrestling is built around silly, drama-based plots, instead of serious things like a former Olympian seeking revenge against a barista who once made him cry so meatheads will respect him. The WWE’s rankings are purely a popularity contest, while the UFC has super scientific rankings that award title shots to only the most deserving fighters. I know all of this.

But can we please talk about how Brock Lesnar snapped The Undertaker’s undefeated Wrestlemania streak at Sunday night’s Wrestlemania XXX at 21 straight Wrestlemania victories? Because holy shit, Brock Lesnar snapped The Undertaker’s undefeated Wrestlemania streak, and I’d really like to talk about it.

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Melvin Guillard Signs With World Series of Fighting, Hopes to Make “Some Real Money”


(Hopefully Guillard can earn enough with the WSOF to actually get some lenses put in those frames, but a man can only dream…Photo via Getty)

Whether you were a fan of his brash personality or excitement-first fight philosophy, there’s no denying the impact Melvin Guillard had on the UFC’s lightweight division during his near-unprecedented 9-year run in the organization. His recent release from the UFC may not have been completely unexpected, given his 1-3 1 NC record in his past 5 fights, but it signified the end of an era in its own way. Of course, given Guillard’s fan-friendly style, we figured it wouldn’t be long before he found a new promotion to call home.

And as is usually the case, we were right. After a mere fortnight of unemployment, Guillard has signed a multi-fight deal with the World Series of Fighting, as confirmed by WSOF executive Shawn Lampman and Guillard’s own Twitter account:

We hope that’s truly the case for Guillard, because UFC vets like Josh Burkman might argue otherwise.

After the jump: Guillard speaks with The MMA Hour about life after the UFC and the factors that led to his uninspiring performance against Michael Johnson at Fight Night 37.

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Friday Links: How Cub Swanson Keeps Winning, Jon Jones Pushes for More Drug Testing, Celebrity Gender-Reversals + More


(Here’s Gary Goodridge with Giant Silva [left] and the Great Khali [right]. Obviously, the two pro-wrestlers are wearing fanny-packs. / Props: Gary’s Facebook page)

Cub Swanson: Winning Without Moving Forward (Fightland/JackSlack)

Profanity-Laced Twitter War Erupts Between Josh Burkman, Vinny Magalhaes, and WSOF Boss Ali Abdel-Aziz (MMAMania)

Grudge Match Between Conor McGregor and Cole Miller Targeted for Ireland on July 19 (MMAWeekly)

Jon Jones Is MMA’s Latest Anti-PED Crusader (FOXSports)

GSP’s Dark Side Revealed: ‘Nick Diaz Is a Motherf****r, I’ll F*** Him Up’ (BleacherReport)

The Top Ten Responses You’ll Have To The News That Dave Letterman Is Retiring (Crushable)

Paulina Gretzky’s Golf Digest Cover Draws Hate From Lady-Golfers (HolyTaco)

Board Games We Should Make Into Movies Before Hollywood Ruins Them (EveryJoe)

Man’s Best Friend: Dogs For Dudes (DoubleViking)

VIDEO: Bikini Girl Gets Tasered for Charity (DrunkenStepfather)

No-Win Situation: The Troubled History of Firefall, Part 1 (GameFront)

The 10 Worst Kids Hairstyles Ever (PopHangover)

Game of Thrones Abridged, Season Three: Sexy Dungeon Safety is No Laughing Matter (EscapistMagazine)

The 50 Funniest Celebrity Gender Reversal Pictures Ever (WorldWideInterweb)

The 7 Best iPhone 5 Battery Cases (HiConsumption)

Which Ex-Presidents Would You Want to Go on a Bender With? (Ranker)

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Paige VanZant Too Young for TUF 20, Signs Directly With the UFC Instead


(You mean we don’t get to see THIS WOMAN get into drunken pillow fights with Thug Rose? *throws TV out window*)

You guys remember Paige VanZant, right? Unbelievably, just impossibly adorable model who also happens to be a legitimate MMA fighter at only 20 years of age? Yeah, her. Well it turns out that, contrary to earlier reports, the lovely Ms. VanZant will *not* be among the dozen or so Invicta strawweights competing on the upcoming, all-women season of The Ultimate Fighter, TUF 20. The reason: She’s too young to drink, and the TUF house is nothing if not a place for drunken dude-bros — and now, dude-broads — to get into shouting matches over whom should allow whom to bang.

News of VanZant’s ineligibility came directly from her Alpha Male training partner, Urijah Faber, who told Bloody Elbow that “12 Gauge” has ”now signed straight with the UFC” in light of the TUF development.

While this means that VanZant won’t be given a shot at the inaugural strawweight title, it also means that she won’t be subjected to twoish months of reality show hell and the downright laughable UFC contract that follows. Toss in the fact that she’ll have the benefit of not only watching all her future competitors in action, but continue training with Team Alpha Male while doing so, and it seems like a win to me.

Then again, it would have been nice to see VanZant get schooled in the art of the Showtime Kick, or get into a prank war with one of her fellow castmates at the very least. But as it stands, one can only dream…

-J. Jones

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Diego Sanchez Avoids Bowel Surgery, Will Face Ross Pearson at Fight Night Albuquerque in June


(“The Dream” is not impressed by your moshing skills. Check out this bromoshop and more here.)

Less than a day after I hinted at the possibility of 2014 becoming the true year of the injury curse, Georges St. Pierre tore his ACL while training for absolutely nothing. Proof of the curse, or of my prophetic abilities as a blogger? I can’t say for certain, but I do know that the job of an orthopaedic surgeon specializing in sports medicine is becoming more lucrative by the day thanks to UFC stars like Johny Hendricks, Chris Weidman, and Carlos Condit, making my decision to drop out of fancy doctor school and follow my passion of writing fart jokes for a living seem…hasty.

Thankfully, those two-bit body mechanics (technical jargon) won’t be able to get their greasy hands on Diego Sanchez, whom most assumed would be going under the knife after he was (self) poisoned by a raw quail egg and beef tartare at UFC 171. Quite the contrary, however, as Sanchez has not only managed to avoid surgery, but has already booked his next fight against TUF 9 winner Ross Pearson at a Fight Night event in his native Albuquerque on June 7th. A true “mind over matter” story if I’ve ever seen one before.

Sanchez finds himself in a unique position with the UFC, having dropped three out of his past four fights for the first time in his career. His excitement-over-strategy style has been entertaining as of late, sure, but “The Dream” better approach this fight with a more intelligent gameplan than lowering his hands and asking bros to come at him if he wants to score that win he so desperately needs.

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Friday Links: The Philosophy of Johny Hendricks, Cormier vs. Cavalcante and MacDonald vs. Woodley in the Works, March Madness Mascotology + More


(Check out this inspiring behind-the-scenes video of Johny Hendricks bouncing back from his loss to Georges St-Pierre to win the welterweight title at UFC 171. / Props: AskMen)

Daniel Cormier vs. Rafael Cavalcante in the Works for UFC 175 in July (BleacherReport)

This Mike Tyson x Balrog Mash-Up Highlight Is All You Need in Your Life (MiddleEasy)

Stunning New Visions From MMA Ring Girl/Model Sierra Rene (Babes of MMA)

UFC Reportedly Targeting Rory MacDonald vs. Tyron Woodley for UFC 174 (BloodyElbow)

Francis Carmont vs. C.B. Dollaway Co-Headlines UFC Fight Night 41 in Berlin (MMAJunkie)

Mascotology: Predicting This Year’s Sweet Sixteen Winners by Mascot (HolyTaco)

Hottest Webcam Girl of the Year: Vote Now for the Elite 8! (EveryJoe)

7 Reasons the Average Person Would Never Survive in Any Video Game (Guyism)

The Funniest YouTube Comments Ever Posted (PopHangover)

16 Sexiest ‘Game of Thrones’ Moments (Ranker)

Britney Spears Looks Pretty Good in a Bikini, Actually (DrunkenStepfather)

The 25 Funniest Celebrity Photobombs Ever (WorldWideInterweb)

The 50 Best Action Movies of All Time (HiConsumption)

10 Bible Movies Weirder Than ‘Noah’ (EscapistMagazine)

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Surgery Roundup: Weidman and Hendricks Set Timetables for Return, Carlos Condit to Go Under the Knife Tomorrow


(“And for my next trick, I will pull a horseshoe out of Joe Rogan’s ass and beat him over the head with it!” Photo via Getty.)

I don’t mean to jinx things, but 2014 is rapidly approaching 2012 as the year of the injury curse. So far, 2014 has been the year that put the final nail in Dominick Cruz’s coffin, saw Anderson Silva do a full-on Corey Hill, and took out Cain Velasquez for the foreseeable future. Oh yes, and let us not forget that GSP vacated his title this year, and that we won’t be seeing Anthony Pettis in action until December 27th*. No, fuck you, 2014.

Even our newly-minted, young-gun champions, Chris Weidman and Johny Hendricks, have been bitten by the injury bug recently, going down with a knee injury and torn bicep/fractured shin, respectively. Honestly, it makes one consider whether fighting for tens of thousands of hundreds of dollars is really worth spending the majority of your prime years battling injuries that costs hundreds of thousands of dollars to fix, but I digress.

Amidst all the black clouds currently hovering over the MMA landscape, however is a silver lining. Following successful bicep surgery, Hendricks has already set a timetable for his return, telling The MMA Hour that he is hoping for a 4 to 8 week rehabilitation period before he can resume training. For some gruesome before and after photos of Hendricks’ shredded ligaments, plus updates on Weidman and Carlos Condit, join us after the jump.

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