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Misc. - Page 8

Ronda Rousey Calls Cris Cyborg an “It,” Receives $5,000 Bounty on Her Head


(“Come at me, brahs.” Photo via Getty.)

With a fight lined up against savvy veteran Alexis Davis in May and a seemingly inevitable showdown with Gina Carano on the horizon, one would think that Ronda Rousey has plenty on her plate to keep her distracted from her never-ending war of words with Cris Cyborg. Then again, if we’ve learned one thing about Ms. Rousey over the years, it’s that the only thing she loves more than breaking people’s arms is talking shit about people whose arms she has yet to break (ex. Kardashian, K. and Caraway, B.). Women be talkin’, amiright fellas?

So perhaps it makes sense that, during an interview with Yahoo’s Kevin Iole, Rousey only briefly touched on the fights she actually has lined up before once again unleashing a barrage of insults at the former Strikeforce featherweight champion like the classy, grown-up professional that she is:

I’ve said before, I don’t care if she’s injecting horse semen into her eyeballs, I’ll fight her, but that’s just my personal decision. But I can’t make a decision for the whole division. I can’t say it’s the right thing. This girl has been on steroids for so long and [has been] injecting herself for so long that she’s not even a woman anymore. She’s an ‘it.’ It’s not good for the women’s division. It’s not good at all.

While an “it” isn’t exactly the worst burn Rousey has ever thrown Cyborg’s way, the insult was enough to earn the ire of MMA apparel brand Americana, who threw down the following gauntlet on Twitter last night…

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[VIDEO] Marlon Wayans Fantasizes About Ronda Rousey on Conan, Continues to Be Unfunny


(Skip to the 2:50 mark to see what we’re talking about.)

Every time I hear that Marlon Wayans has another fart-joke-disguised-as-a-movie coming out, I have to remind myself that this is the man who wrote/starred in Don’t Be a Menace and Scary Movie or I’d probably walk into oncoming traffic. I mean, sure, Wayans has been relentlessly eroding our cultural understanding of things like “satire” and “parody” for over a decade now, but it’s hard to blame him when you realize how much money he is making to do so. Despite appearing to be a talentless hack like myself on the outside, Wayans is probably still a generally funny guy (unlike myself) on the inside, right?

Well, his recent appearance on Conan would seem to suggest otherwise. Apparently a big fan of our fair sport, Wayans recently appeared on Conan to promote his latest effort, Ghost Fart 2, and the topic eventually shifted to a tweet he had sent out about another Conan alum, women’s bantamweight champion Ronda Rousey. “This is hot!! Girl on girl! #ufc @ufc @rondaroussey I just wanna smell her training gloves and feet wraps…” wrote Wayans during Rousey’s staredown with Sara McMann, which the UFC bizarrely chose to retweet because hey! A sort-of famous person acknowledged us!

In any case, Conan called out Wayans for his tweet, and Wayans proceeded to discuss his fantasy of having Rousey armbar his penis. It was the kind of joke you’d expect from the guy who honestly thought White Chicks was a funny enough premise to run with for 90 minutes, and I fully expect either Rousey or Dana White to respond negatively to it in the coming days.

I apologize for wasting your time.

-J. Jones 

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Rousey vs. Mayweather: The MMA vs. Boxing Debate Finally Hits Rock-Bottom


(Joe Rogan talks Rousey vs. Mayweather on ESPN’s SportsNation, because it’s not like there was an actual event worth discussing or anything.)

By Jared Jones

I must be confused.

You see, when I awoke yesterday morning, I was under the impression that MMA was still a sport with plenty of goings-on worth talking about, not a platform so desolate of intriguing discussion that its only current purpose in this world was to push energy drinks and stir up farcical “Who would win?” scenarios like a goddamn episode of Deadliest Warrior. “There are *two* UFC events alone going down this week,” I said to myself, “Not to mention an *actual* TUF premiere, a Bellator event, and who knows what else. Surely there is plenty of real-life, newsworthy information to be had today.”

So you can imagine my surprise when I awoke to find “Joe Rogan says Ronda Rousey would beat Floyd Mayweather Jr.” as the headline dominating many an MMA site and even some that aren’t. And even worse, nearly all of these articles were flooded with the hundreds of comments from people who actually found it necessary to offer their insight into this absolutely imbecilic piece of non-news. (Rousey vs. a cheetah in sweatpants: Who’s the better dancer?”)

“Every fight starts standing, and we all know Floyd’s not afraid to hit women,” joked a commenter who vehemently expressed his outrage over the idea of allowing Fallon Fox to continue fighting just months earlier. “Floyd’s speed would be no match for Ronda’s armbar,” said another who had chastised his favorite MMA publication for daring to waste his time with a breakdown of the Undertaker’s signature move days prior.

I bit my tongue at first, because I don’t exactly have a foot to stand on when it comes to publishing news items that are ever-so-tangentially related to MMA. But the tipping point occurred during last night’s TUF Nations Finale broadcast, when during yet another time-killing session in the FOX studios, Karyn Bryant posed the same question to Daniel Cormier and Anthony Pettis.

“This is ridiculous,” said Pettis before declaring that Floyd would easily win. Unfortunately, it appeared that the idea of a woman beating a man in a fight was what Pettis found ridiculous, not the question itself as I had hoped.

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So Here’s That Absolutely Brutal KO From Last Night’s TUF 19 Premiere [VIDEO]

After sitting through a TUF Finale card that felt longer than Moses’ trek across the desert, I can’t imagine that many of you stuck around to catch the premiere episode of a TUF season headlined by the most nonsensical coaching matchup since Jones vs. Sonnen. You would have missed some stellar action if you had checked out early, however, as last night’s premiere episode of The Ultimate Fighter 19 featured some thrilling wars and even more spectacular knockouts. Knockouts like the one above, which went down in a light heavyweight contest between Daniel Spohn and Tyler King.

In the first fight of the night, Spohn started things off with a body kick that sounded worse than it probably was, prompting King to rush in with his hands down, arms out, and chin up (Marcus Jones style!). Remaining calm, Spohn managed to evade King’s mummy-esque attack, then proceeded to truly mummify him with a blistering right hook. As if the punch that shut King’s lights off wasn’t bad enough, his momentum sent him crashing head first into the mat with a sickening thud. Why Spohn felt the need to add an additional pair of punches to his clearly unconscious opponent is beyond me, but hey, sometimes these things happen in MMA.

The fight’s aftermath was a harrowing moment to say the least, made all the more difficult to watch after we were informed that King’s mother was in the audience. But it’s like Penn said, “This is a rough sport…and maybe sometimes you shouldn’t bring your mom.” Unless you’re Manny Pacquiao, of course.

After the jump: An equally brutal almost-kneebar from the war that was Mike King vs. Nordine Taleb.

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Poll: Which Injury/Disease Will Inevitably Take Down Tito Ortiz *This* Time?


(“Sorry Bjorn, Von Willebrand disease.”)

Last week, Bellator middleweight champ Alexander Shlemenko called out Tito Ortiz via a stoic, multilingual Youtube video, even though he understood that “Tito Ortiz, different weight class.” Ortiz immediately accepted the fight via Instagram because he’s real good at accepting fights, and before we had time to stop and ask, “Wait, what the fuck?”, Bellator went and booked the fight for their May 17th pay-per-view. Bjorn Rebney’s line of reasoning was as follows:

Tito wants a fight. Shlemenko wants a fight. As a fan, I would love to see the fight. I think it’s got this incredible, kinda cool dynamic going where a small 85er who could conceptually make 70 is going to move up to 205 to fight one of the greatest fighters in the history of 205. 

I can’t even with that logic, so for now let’s just focus on the matchup at hand, and more specifically, how it will never actually happen on account of Ortiz pulling out with an injury or sickness in the coming weeks.

Tito Ortiz may be one of the greatest 205ers of all time, but he also has, as Rebney admitted, “a long and storied history of getting injured preparing for fights.” He was injured pretty much his entire UFC career, if you were to ask him, and it’s been the same for his Bellator career thus far. That being the case, we all might as well speculate as to the extent of the injury he will inevitably pull out of *this* fight with, right? It’s the Christian thing to do, so join us after the jump to vote in our poll.

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Friday Links: The Best UFC Fight Night Abu Dhabi Knockouts (So Far), UFC Expands Drug-Testing Policy, The Most Florida Moments in Florida History + More


(This might be the smoothest “look low, kick high” knockout we’ve ever seen. / Props: MiddleEasy)

Thales Leites Earns His First-Ever Knockout Victory in the UFC, During Fight Night Abu Dhabi Prelims (Facebook.com/CagePotato)

Johnny Bedford Knocks Rani Yahya Out With Headbutt, Loses Mind at ‘No Contest’ Announcement (BloodyElbow)

Ramsey Nijem Destroys Beneil Dariush at Fight Night Abu Dhabi [GIF] (ZombieProphet)

Cheaters Beware! UFC Boss Dana White Confirms Promotion Is Drug Testing ‘The Whole Card From Now On’ (MMAMania)

Randy Couture: A UFC Doctor Introduced Vitor Belfort to TRT (BleacherReport)

Alistair Overeem Officially Decides to Join Jackson-Winkeljohn (MMAFighting)

25 Students Who Are NOT Having Their Best Day (PopHangover)

The Seven Most Florida Things to Ever Florida (HolyTaco)

This Emma Watson/Sofia Vergara GIF Will Give You Nightmares (EveryJoe)

8 Reasons Why We Should All Love Stephen Colbert (EscapistMagazine)

The Elder Scrolls Online: The First 10 Levels (GameFront)

20 Photos You’ll Laugh at Way More Than You Should (WorldWideInterweb)

Hopped Up: The 12 Best Double IPAs (HiConsumption)

This Video of a Little Kid Flopping During a Game Proves That the Future of Basketball Is Probably Doomed (Complex)

The 101 Hottest Celebrity Instagram Pictures This Week (Guyism)

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Gina Carano Gets Her Underwear Ripped Off While Handcuffed, And Other Interesting GIFs From ‘In the Blood’ [Gallery/Clickbait]


(Don’t worry, Gina gets out of this one with her honor intact. / Props to BJPenn.com for the find.)

Y’know, I wasn’t sure if I was going to waste 108 minutes watching the new Gina Carano action movie, In the Blood. But apparently, there’s a scene in which Gina, while handcuffed, has her jean shorts and panties roughly removed by a scummy local police officer, and I’m going to be honest — that is very relevant to my interests.

Twelve more amazing Gina Carano GIFs from In the Blood are in the gallery after the jump. Special thanks to swedishfishrule for making most of them, and feel free to complain in the comments section about how Gina Carano has nothing to do with MMA anymore, and we shouldn’t be covering stuff like this. Maybe read this article about how Dana White would give Carano an immediate UFC title shot if she decided to return to fighting, and Ronda Rousey is totally down with that idea. That should make you feel better, right?

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ICYMI: Brock Lesnar Snaps The Undertaker’s Wrestlemania Win Streak at Wrestlemania XXX


(Your reaction. Enjoy it before it gets taken down.)

By Seth Falvo

I know how some of you don’t like it when we bring up professional wrestling in these parts. Professional wrestling is scripted. Professional wrestlers are on steroids, and not the cool ones that MMA fighters take/the ones MMA fighters used to be allowed to openly take. Professional wrestling is built around silly, drama-based plots, instead of serious things like a former Olympian seeking revenge against a barista who once made him cry so meatheads will respect him. The WWE’s rankings are purely a popularity contest, while the UFC has super scientific rankings that award title shots to only the most deserving fighters. I know all of this.

But can we please talk about how Brock Lesnar snapped The Undertaker’s undefeated Wrestlemania streak at Sunday night’s Wrestlemania XXX at 21 straight Wrestlemania victories? Because holy shit, Brock Lesnar snapped The Undertaker’s undefeated Wrestlemania streak, and I’d really like to talk about it.

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Melvin Guillard Signs With World Series of Fighting, Hopes to Make “Some Real Money”


(Hopefully Guillard can earn enough with the WSOF to actually get some lenses put in those frames, but a man can only dream…Photo via Getty)

Whether you were a fan of his brash personality or excitement-first fight philosophy, there’s no denying the impact Melvin Guillard had on the UFC’s lightweight division during his near-unprecedented 9-year run in the organization. His recent release from the UFC may not have been completely unexpected, given his 1-3 1 NC record in his past 5 fights, but it signified the end of an era in its own way. Of course, given Guillard’s fan-friendly style, we figured it wouldn’t be long before he found a new promotion to call home.

And as is usually the case, we were right. After a mere fortnight of unemployment, Guillard has signed a multi-fight deal with the World Series of Fighting, as confirmed by WSOF executive Shawn Lampman and Guillard’s own Twitter account:

We hope that’s truly the case for Guillard, because UFC vets like Josh Burkman might argue otherwise.

After the jump: Guillard speaks with The MMA Hour about life after the UFC and the factors that led to his uninspiring performance against Michael Johnson at Fight Night 37.

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Friday Links: How Cub Swanson Keeps Winning, Jon Jones Pushes for More Drug Testing, Celebrity Gender-Reversals + More


(Here’s Gary Goodridge with Giant Silva [left] and the Great Khali [right]. Obviously, the two pro-wrestlers are wearing fanny-packs. / Props: Gary’s Facebook page)

Cub Swanson: Winning Without Moving Forward (Fightland/JackSlack)

Profanity-Laced Twitter War Erupts Between Josh Burkman, Vinny Magalhaes, and WSOF Boss Ali Abdel-Aziz (MMAMania)

Grudge Match Between Conor McGregor and Cole Miller Targeted for Ireland on July 19 (MMAWeekly)

Jon Jones Is MMA’s Latest Anti-PED Crusader (FOXSports)

GSP’s Dark Side Revealed: ‘Nick Diaz Is a Motherf****r, I’ll F*** Him Up’ (BleacherReport)

The Top Ten Responses You’ll Have To The News That Dave Letterman Is Retiring (Crushable)

Paulina Gretzky’s Golf Digest Cover Draws Hate From Lady-Golfers (HolyTaco)

Board Games We Should Make Into Movies Before Hollywood Ruins Them (EveryJoe)

Man’s Best Friend: Dogs For Dudes (DoubleViking)

VIDEO: Bikini Girl Gets Tasered for Charity (DrunkenStepfather)

No-Win Situation: The Troubled History of Firefall, Part 1 (GameFront)

The 10 Worst Kids Hairstyles Ever (PopHangover)

Game of Thrones Abridged, Season Three: Sexy Dungeon Safety is No Laughing Matter (EscapistMagazine)

The 50 Funniest Celebrity Gender Reversal Pictures Ever (WorldWideInterweb)

The 7 Best iPhone 5 Battery Cases (HiConsumption)

Which Ex-Presidents Would You Want to Go on a Bender With? (Ranker)

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