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Misc. - Page 9

Paige VanZant Too Young for TUF 20, Signs Directly With the UFC Instead


(You mean we don’t get to see THIS WOMAN get into drunken pillow fights with Thug Rose? *throws TV out window*)

You guys remember Paige VanZant, right? Unbelievably, just impossibly adorable model who also happens to be a legitimate MMA fighter at only 20 years of age? Yeah, her. Well it turns out that, contrary to earlier reports, the lovely Ms. VanZant will *not* be among the dozen or so Invicta strawweights competing on the upcoming, all-women season of The Ultimate Fighter, TUF 20. The reason: She’s too young to drink, and the TUF house is nothing if not a place for drunken dude-bros — and now, dude-broads — to get into shouting matches over whom should allow whom to bang.

News of VanZant’s ineligibility came directly from her Alpha Male training partner, Urijah Faber, who told Bloody Elbow that “12 Gauge” has ”now signed straight with the UFC” in light of the TUF development.

While this means that VanZant won’t be given a shot at the inaugural strawweight title, it also means that she won’t be subjected to twoish months of reality show hell and the downright laughable UFC contract that follows. Toss in the fact that she’ll have the benefit of not only watching all her future competitors in action, but continue training with Team Alpha Male while doing so, and it seems like a win to me.

Then again, it would have been nice to see VanZant get schooled in the art of the Showtime Kick, or get into a prank war with one of her fellow castmates at the very least. But as it stands, one can only dream…

-J. Jones

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Diego Sanchez Avoids Bowel Surgery, Will Face Ross Pearson at Fight Night Albuquerque in June


(“The Dream” is not impressed by your moshing skills. Check out this bromoshop and more here.)

Less than a day after I hinted at the possibility of 2014 becoming the true year of the injury curse, Georges St. Pierre tore his ACL while training for absolutely nothing. Proof of the curse, or of my prophetic abilities as a blogger? I can’t say for certain, but I do know that the job of an orthopaedic surgeon specializing in sports medicine is becoming more lucrative by the day thanks to UFC stars like Johny Hendricks, Chris Weidman, and Carlos Condit, making my decision to drop out of fancy doctor school and follow my passion of writing fart jokes for a living seem…hasty.

Thankfully, those two-bit body mechanics (technical jargon) won’t be able to get their greasy hands on Diego Sanchez, whom most assumed would be going under the knife after he was (self) poisoned by a raw quail egg and beef tartare at UFC 171. Quite the contrary, however, as Sanchez has not only managed to avoid surgery, but has already booked his next fight against TUF 9 winner Ross Pearson at a Fight Night event in his native Albuquerque on June 7th. A true “mind over matter” story if I’ve ever seen one before.

Sanchez finds himself in a unique position with the UFC, having dropped three out of his past four fights for the first time in his career. His excitement-over-strategy style has been entertaining as of late, sure, but “The Dream” better approach this fight with a more intelligent gameplan than lowering his hands and asking bros to come at him if he wants to score that win he so desperately needs.

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Friday Links: The Philosophy of Johny Hendricks, Cormier vs. Cavalcante and MacDonald vs. Woodley in the Works, March Madness Mascotology + More


(Check out this inspiring behind-the-scenes video of Johny Hendricks bouncing back from his loss to Georges St-Pierre to win the welterweight title at UFC 171. / Props: AskMen)

Daniel Cormier vs. Rafael Cavalcante in the Works for UFC 175 in July (BleacherReport)

This Mike Tyson x Balrog Mash-Up Highlight Is All You Need in Your Life (MiddleEasy)

Stunning New Visions From MMA Ring Girl/Model Sierra Rene (Babes of MMA)

UFC Reportedly Targeting Rory MacDonald vs. Tyron Woodley for UFC 174 (BloodyElbow)

Francis Carmont vs. C.B. Dollaway Co-Headlines UFC Fight Night 41 in Berlin (MMAJunkie)

Mascotology: Predicting This Year’s Sweet Sixteen Winners by Mascot (HolyTaco)

Hottest Webcam Girl of the Year: Vote Now for the Elite 8! (EveryJoe)

7 Reasons the Average Person Would Never Survive in Any Video Game (Guyism)

The Funniest YouTube Comments Ever Posted (PopHangover)

16 Sexiest ‘Game of Thrones’ Moments (Ranker)

Britney Spears Looks Pretty Good in a Bikini, Actually (DrunkenStepfather)

The 25 Funniest Celebrity Photobombs Ever (WorldWideInterweb)

The 50 Best Action Movies of All Time (HiConsumption)

10 Bible Movies Weirder Than ‘Noah’ (EscapistMagazine)

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Surgery Roundup: Weidman and Hendricks Set Timetables for Return, Carlos Condit to Go Under the Knife Tomorrow


(“And for my next trick, I will pull a horseshoe out of Joe Rogan’s ass and beat him over the head with it!” Photo via Getty.)

I don’t mean to jinx things, but 2014 is rapidly approaching 2012 as the year of the injury curse. So far, 2014 has been the year that put the final nail in Dominick Cruz’s coffin, saw Anderson Silva do a full-on Corey Hill, and took out Cain Velasquez for the foreseeable future. Oh yes, and let us not forget that GSP vacated his title this year, and that we won’t be seeing Anthony Pettis in action until December 27th*. No, fuck you, 2014.

Even our newly-minted, young-gun champions, Chris Weidman and Johny Hendricks, have been bitten by the injury bug recently, going down with a knee injury and torn bicep/fractured shin, respectively. Honestly, it makes one consider whether fighting for tens of thousands of hundreds of dollars is really worth spending the majority of your prime years battling injuries that costs hundreds of thousands of dollars to fix, but I digress.

Amidst all the black clouds currently hovering over the MMA landscape, however is a silver lining. Following successful bicep surgery, Hendricks has already set a timetable for his return, telling The MMA Hour that he is hoping for a 4 to 8 week rehabilitation period before he can resume training. For some gruesome before and after photos of Hendricks’ shredded ligaments, plus updates on Weidman and Carlos Condit, join us after the jump.

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Dan Henderson Still a BAMF, Offers to Step in Against Lyoto Machida at UFC 173

Just as the sun rises each morning, Dan Henderson wakes up, kills a wild boar with his bare hands, and asks himself, “What can I do next to make all men look like absolute pussies?” Today’s answer: By calling out Lyoto Machida roughly 48 hours after defeating Mauricio Rua in one of the most brutal fights of the year.
(Author’s note: And you mean to tell me that this man needs testosterone *injections*? I CALL BULLSHIT.)

You see, when Chris Weidman was forced to bow out of his UFC 173 title fight with Machida last night due to a knee injury, there weren’t many middleweight contenders lining up to get Munoz’d by “The Dragon.” Strange, I know. But being that Dan Henderson is who Ron Swanson aspires to be, he of course volunteered to step in against Machida — who himself was stepping in for Vitor Belfort – while still shaking off the effects of multiple concussions. Meanwhile, I’m just sitting behind this computer, clacking away at keys and trying to shake off a hangover from last weekend like the shell of a Dan Henderson that I truly am.

Obviously, this fight is never going to happen for a multitude of reasons…

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Friday Link Dump: Pat Barry Kicks Down Hotel Doors to Rescue Trapped Woman, Ivan Menjivar Gets Pink-Slipped, Hot Hula-Hoopers & More


(Well hello there! Fitness Gurls just released a new photoshoot with UFC ring girl Brittney Palmer, and you might want to check it out.)

Pat Barry Kicks in Two Doors to Save a Woman Trapped in Her Hotel Room (Fox Sports Haymaker)

UFC Releases Ivan Menjivar (MMAFighting)

Maurice Jackson Out of Tonight’s Bellator 113 After Slipping on Hotel Floor and Hurting Knee (MMAMania)

Cris Cyborg Passes Random NSAC Test in Advance of Kickboxing Title Fight (MMA Junkie)

Who’s the Hottest Webcam Girl of 2014? Vote for Your Favorite Now! (EveryJoe)

10 Classic Songs With Bizarre, Illogical Titles — And What They Should Be Called Instead (HolyTaco)

Jeffrey the Beer-Drinking Camel Is Literally My Spirit-Animal (PopHangover)

Real Signs You’re A Nymphomaniac And Not Just A Horny Jerk (TheGloss)

The Film Cult Presents: Death Becomes Her (ScreenJunkies)

Experimental Brews: 15 Coffees You’ve Never Heard Of (HiConsumption)

10 More Times Celebrities Overshared About Their Sex Lives (Crushable)

The 15 Best Videos of Hot Girls Hula Hooping (Ranker)

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Wednesday Afternoon Link Dump: Chael Sonnen’s Brazilian Vacation Home, Pat Barry’s GLORY Debut Set for May 3rd, Depressing Maury Povich Screen-Caps + More


(Chael Sonnen shows off the palatial estate that the UFC has set him up with for ‘TUF Brazil’, while his wife cooks dinner. Remember honey, he likes it medium rare. / Video via UFC)

Former World Champion Boxer Holly Holm Nears UFC Deal, Rousey Fight Looms (BleacherReport)

Newly-Signed UFC fighter Steve Bosse Retires (MMAFighting)

GLORY 16: Pat Barry vs Zack Mwekassa Booked for May 3 in Denver on Spike TV (MMAMania)

Dude Slaps His Wife in Public, Gets Knocked the F*ck Out (DrunkenStepfather)

‘Happy Gilmore’ Has Finally Received The 8-Bit Video Game Treatment (Filmdrunk)

WATCH: A Supercut of Christopher Walken Dancing in His Movies (PopHangover)

The 8 Types of Laughter and What They Mean (EveryJoe)

First Pro Athlete Revealed on Lindsay Lohan’s Sex-Conquest List (TerezOwens)

18 Japanese Movie Posters That Were Lost in Translation (Guyism)

The 20 Best Breakfast Cereals of All Time (HiConsumption)

Inexplicable Video of the Day: “Satanic Puberty” (HolyTaco)

23 Morbidly Depressing Maury Screen-Caps (BREAK)

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Friday Link Dump: Carlos Condit’s Title-Shot Promise Gets Nixed, Ronda Rousey’s New Legal Beef, Crazy Texas Mugshots + More


(See more disturbing celebrity name-anagrams at PopHangover!)

Dana White Nixes ‘Guaranteed’ Title Shot With Win for Carlos Condit, Says Fighters Need to Perform (MMAFighting)

UFC 171′s Hector Lombard Focused More on Michael Bisping, Less on Title (MMAJunkie)

UFC: Ronda Rousey Preparing for Legal Action With Management Team (BloodyElbow)

UFC 171: Diego Sanchez Is Still the Ultimate Fighter, for Better and Worse (BleacherReportMMA)

Lyoto Machida and His Rickson-Style Breathing Exercises (Instagram)

Last Call to Submit Your Requests for “MMA Impressions With Jade Bryce, Part 3″! (Facebook.com/CagePotato)

The 30 Greatest Texas Mugshot Photos Ever (HolyTaco)

Rashad Owens Hit with Murder Charges After SXSW Rampage (EveryJoe)

The Superman Challenge: Turbine Turns an Icon Into a MOBA Champ (Gamefront)

Seth Rogen Calls Justin Bieber a “Piece of Shit,” Lists Stars He’s Smoked Weed With (Guyism)

The 50 Funniest Bikini Photos Of All Time (WorldWideInterweb)

Forever Young: The 18 Greatest Tree Houses for Adults (HiConsumption)

Screen Junkies Show: Best & Worst Video Game Movies (ScreenJunkies)

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Quote of the Day: Dana White Says Sonnen vs. Silva is Still Not Signed on Account of TUF Brazil 3 Issues


(“Let me tell you something, mudda fucka, you’re lucky I feel entitled to my fair share of Fight Pass ad revenue or I’d smash your face right now!”)

In the lead-up to the third season of TUF Brazil, there were several audacious claims being made that Chael Sonnen vs. Wanderlei Silva is “the greatest rivalry in the history of mixed martial arts.” A rivalry isn’t truly great until it involves a Twitter war, a reality show, and a (possibly staged) on-set brawl on said reality show, is essentially what we’re being told. (Author’s note: In which case, allow me to cast my vote for TUF Japan: Sakuraba vs. Gracie.)

Being that Sonnen vs. Silva ranks second only to King Kong vs. Godzilla on the list of mythologized rivalries, you’d think that both sides would have signed the bout agreement for their May 31st showdown by now. If anything, you’d think that Sonnen would be the one hesitant to agree to anything in the wake of the TRT ban.

In either case, you’d be wrong, dummy. According to Dana White, it’s actually Wandy who has yet to sign on the dotted line (via MMAFighting):

“Yeah,” White affirmed when asked on Thursday if the fight still has yet to be signed. “There’s a lot more to that story than (I can say).

“He’s not balking,” White said of Silva. “Not even a little bit. It’s not over money either. I can’t tell you. It has to do with the show (TUF Brazil 3). It has to do with the show, that’s all I can tell you.”

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Wednesday Link Dump: How Vladimir Putin Changed an MMA Fighter’s Life, The McConaughey Quote Quiz, Ladies Who Never Skip Leg Day + More


(Nick Diaz is alive and well, and still baffled by this world. Props: LayzieTheSavage)

Some must-read content from our beloved link-partners. Thanks for the support, you guys!

How Vladimir Putin Changed One MMA Fighter’s Life (BleacherReportMMA)

39 Chicks Who Never Skip Leg Day (Guyism)

Oops: That Touching Viral Video Of Strangers Kissing Was Actually Just An Ad For Clothes (FilmDrunk)

1989 Internet Headlines, If They Happened Today (HolyTaco)

QUIZ: Which Quotes Are Real “McConaughey-isms”? (PopHangover)

8 St. Patrick’s Day Facts That Might Drive You to Drink (EveryJoe)

Ranking the Greatest MMA Legends of All Time (Ranker)

Game of Thrones Abridged — Teaser Trailer (EscapistMagazine)

Speakeasy: Battlestar Galactica’s Tricia Helfer Discusses ‘Killer Women’ (Made Man)

“Hotties in the Wild” Photo of the Day: Best Sleepover Ever! (DoubleViking)

The 50 Greatest Horror Movies of All Time (HiConsumption)

Alec Baldwin’s Daughter Seems Like a Lot of Fun (DrunkenStepfather)

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