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(Note to Anthony: ‘Super Hulk’ isn’t a real weight-division.)

Anthony “Rumble” Johnson has gone from being awesome and stringing together some great knockout wins in the UFC, to washing out because of his inability to make weight. He missed weight three times in the UFC, most epically in his last bout against Vitor Belfort, and now it appears he’s done it again. MMA Fighting’s Mike Chiappetta has the details:

“Another fight, another weight issue for Anthony Johnson. A Friday night bout that will mark his first since his UFC release has been reset at a 195-pound catch weight despite numerous previous announcements it would be contested at 185.

The Titan Fighting 22 bout was originally advertised as a middleweight bout, but on Thursday’s edition of Bloody Elbow Radio, promoter Joe Kelly said that Johnson and opponent Dave Branch had signed catch weight contracts instead. Johnson weighed in at 194.2 while Branch was 189.2.

(The fact that Jones stomped that rabbit to death seconds after this photo was taken did not get him any new fans either.) 

By Nathan “The12ozCurls” Smith

There are a couple of taboo topics at your local watering hole: religion and politics. These two subjects bring out the best and worst in people because the issues are argued with both an intense passion for one’s belief and ire against another’s. Both sides are unwilling to concede the debate, and when you mix in a few cocktails, it ultimately ends in name calling and/or fisticuffs. But among MMA fans, a third topic has already been added to the unwritten “Banned-Bar-Conversation-List.” I’m speaking, of course, about Jon Jones.

Over the past several days, CP has posted not one, not two, but three pieces concerning Jones and his arrest for allegedly driving under the influence of alcohol. The UFC light-heavyweight champion’s arrest was justifiably big news, and both his supporters and detractors took to the comments section to voice their opinions; the Bones-lovers came with a shield to defend Jones and the haters came with party favors to celebrate his misfortune. Here are a few representative comments left by some of you…

SquidInk
Jones haters, what’s it like being so fucking perfect?

Darkside
Everybody falls down eventually. But, that fall hurts a lot more when it’s off of your high horse.

Brobafett
oh god someone drove drunk!!!!??? what a horrible person…blah blah blah. Who gives a fuck? Its stupid he even has to apologize, he already killed his Bentley what else do you want?

(Who’s got at least one thumb and is going to royally screw me over in the future? THIS GUY.)

Ever since Alistair Overeem cost the UFC one of the biggest fights of the year by pissing dirty at his surprise UFC 146 drug test, it seems like Dana White has been a lot more adamant about the necessity of drug testing fighters on a regular basis. Whereas his attitude toward testing could previously be construed along the lines of “we’re doing the best we can, but we can only do so much,” it seems that The Baldfather has really begun to step up his game, so to speak. In fact, during a recent interview with the Los Angeles Times, White made a promise that before too long, the UFC will be drug testing fighters themselves in order to try and limit the amount of positive tests per year:

The steroid, [performance-enhancing drug] thing affects the whole sport. The key is to make sure these guys never get on it, because once they do, they change. The problem with Overeem is that I want to sit in a room with him man to man and believe him. He told me before he ever fought for us, ‘Don’t worry, I’m the most tested athlete in sports.’ But I think we have about 42 fights a year … you have a guy or two popping [positive tests] here and there, that’s a pretty good ratio…. Yes, we’re going to do our own testing, order these guys into [a lab]; we’re sorting it out now. You have to do this to save the sport. You can’t have these guys fighting on this stuff.

So there you have it, Potato Nation. It looks like a day may finally come where we don’t have to worry about the Ubereem’s of the world spoiling our mid-summer blockbuster cards. Then again, illegal steroids were sooo last year, nowadays fighter’s just call it “therapy” and we collectively put our heads in the sand.

(At least we’ll always have the memories…) 

British lightweight Paul Taylor is undoubtedly one of the most entertaining fighters in the UFC…when he actually manages to make it into the cage. His ability to do so has become less and less frequent over the past few years, and it’s truly a shame for fans of a good old fashioned throwdown. Taylor was scheduled to return to action for the first time in over a year against Anthony Njokuani at UFC on FUEL 4, which goes down from the HP Pavillion in San Jose on July 11th, but word just broke that he has been forced to withdraw from the bout yet again, and will be replaced by Rafael Dos Anjos.

Although Taylor is an unspectacular 4-5 thus far in his UFC career, his victories include a most recent trouncing of Gabe Ruediger at 126, as well as entertaining victories over Peter Sobatta, Jess Liaudin, and Edilberto de Oliveira. Oddly enough, Taylor has earned his reputation and “Relentless” moniker by managing to be even more captivating in defeat, with his high-profile losses to Marcus Davis, Paul Kelly, and Chris Lytle all earning him Fight of the Night bonuses at UFC 75, 80, and 89, respectively.

But ever since dropping to lightweight, Taylor has spent so much time nursing various injuries that even James Irvin is beginning to look like the picture of health in comparison. OK, that might be an exaggeration, but if you were to peruse over Taylor’s Wikipedia page, you would find that the phrase “was expected to face” appears more times than the phrase “won by.” Sad but true, folks.

Check out the full history of Taylor’s troubles after the jump. 

(Photoshop of Bones’s new sponsor via CrushCo)

There’s really not much to add after that headline, but the long version is this: Jon Jones’s DUI arrest wasn’t the first time his driving has gotten him into trouble. BloodyElbow has confirmed that the UFC light-heavyweight champ ran afoul of Albuquerque cops last fall for recklessly driving his Bentley on a suspended license:

Jon was pulled over for flying around a corner in his car and losing traction before pulling into the parking lot of a “fully nude club” (Fantasy World). The police pulled him over in the parking lot and ran his license, they then realized it was suspended and, as a result, Jones’ car was towed. The charges were dismissed in a March 8, 2012 trial.

The full police report is here, if you’re interested. The incident took place on November 24th, 2011, just 16 days before Jones’s UFC 140 title defense against Lyoto Machida, so it’s pretty damn fortunate that his impromptu drift-racing adventure didn’t turn into anything more serious. Still, skidding into a strip club parking lot on Thanksgiving Day seems like a perfect example of the kind of immature and wild behavior that was supposed to be in Jones’s distant past.

(Negative side effects of TRT: Bacne. Positive side effects: Falcon Punch.) 

My God, today’s NSAC meeting, which determined both Chael Sonnen’s future ability to continue legal injecting steroids testosterone replacement therapy and Nick Diaz’s minimum retirement length was like watching Lawrence of Arabia, twice, minus all of the train explosions and shots of interesting desert landscapes. To describe the six hour hearing in a word: humdrum. Thankfully, we’ll be much briefer in summing up what went down.

To kick off the afternoon, Sonnen was successful in achieving a therapeutic use exemption for testosterone replacement therapy, and now joins the like of Dan Henderson, Todd Duffee, and Shane Roller in the select group of MMA fighters to receive an exemption from the Nevada State Athletic Commission. As far as interesting developments go, Sonnen admitted that he injected himself with testosterone, stating, ”I administer two times a week, every Sunday and Thursday. It’s self-injected intermusculatory and [I] consider it to be a prescription.” When Commissioner Pat Lundvall asked why Sonnen had never listed using testosterone on his medical forms over the past few years, Sonnen stated that he was under the impression that it wasn’t something that needed to be disclosed. He also stated under oath that he “has never taken anabolic steroids.”

In another interesting moment, which took place before the hearing truly began, Keith Kizer likened TRT to “the new Viagra” as doctors continue to push it on the population and that “Therapuetic Use Exemptions do not allow you to test outside of normal ranges. It only allows for presence of synthetics.” Does this make Sonnen TRT’s Smiling Bob? Only time will tell.

(The Bonesmobile, 2011-2012. Never forget.)

After a weekend of near-silence in the wake of his DUI arrest, UFC light-heavyweight champion Jon Jones emerged on Facebook this morning to apologize to his fans, while expressing some frustration and anger at the “hateful people” who “try to kick me while I’m down.” Here’s the full message, via MiddleEasy:

“Man I haven’t added anyone new to my Facebook page in like three years and right now I’m so glad that I haven’t. It has literally been sickening to have so many people try to kick me while I’m down. At the same time, I totally understand, I gave them the leeway to. I screwed up, big time. Just needed to say thank you to all you guys for being amazing friends/supporters.

Always having to deal with so many critics, haters and fickle mma fans, I almost forgot how strong of a home base I had (607 and people that knew me before I was a champion fighter). Although the hell that will come with this hasn’t even started yet, I want you guys to know how much better you’ve all made me feel, not only about this situation but about life, everything. It’s good to feel that people are there and care. With that being said, I felt I should apologize to you first.

Nathan “The12ozCurls” Smith

With recent events involving a UFC fighter and alcohol grabbing the spotlight, we at CP figured we’d lighten the mood a tad with this new Budweiser commercial. From a stare down between Anderson Silva and Steven Seagal to Lyoto Machida making a cameo as he flees the scene, this commercial has it all. When I say it has it all, I mean they also mixed in a midget little person as well as Bruce Buffer and Dan Miragliotta. Much to the surprise of Chael Sonnen (because, we assume, he was unaware that the country has such technological advances like television), it has been rumored that the commercial will only air in Brazil.

I’m not touching this one. *Innocently whistles* *Walks Away* Props to reader Johnnyozone22 for the tip.

This doesn’t look good, folks. Initially reported by TMZ.com and confirmed by Josh Gross, UFC Light-Heavyweight champion Jon Jones has been arrested in Binghamton, New York on DUI charges after totaling his Bentley. From TMZ:

Law enforcement sources tell TMZ … Jones was involved in an accident at around 5:00 AM in Binghamton, NY. We’re told the car — which Jones crashed into a pole — was totaled and cops arrested Jones on the scene for DUI.

According to our sources, Jones was taken into custody by Broome County Sheriff and bailed out a few hours later … by his mom. Jones is from nearby Ithaca.

Fortunately for Jones, it appears that he only suffered minor injuries, and it does not appear that anyone else was injured from this accident. It is unclear whether or not there were any passengers in the car at the time of the accident.

(Video: TMZ.com. Props to reader Jeff Willson–Salem Oregon–for the tip)

If you haven’t followed Dan Quinn‘s insanity over the years, you’ve been missing out. The man may very well be MMA’s most tortured mind, and that’s seriously saying something. Things started off simply enough with him issuing YouTube challenges to the UFC’s best, bragging about his hands and his accomplishments in college football. Then he, along with Diego Sanchez, discovered the healing power of Stevia, nature’s answer to Sweet’N Low

For years he’s been preaching the Stevia gospel, claiming it ‘melted a tumor’ out of Octagon girl Ali Sonoma, but recently things have taken a turn for the (more) bizarre. He’s posted conversations with a mysterious caller who loosely claims affiliation with both the UFC and some sort of global power/secret society, offering him hush money and power in exchange for his silence. Another recent YouTube video of a conversation with police regarding threats of violence toward a veterinarian has since been deleted.

Things get crazier after the jump…