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Don’t blink- someone’s getting their ass motorboated tonight. (Video: YouTube/UFC)

Though reported to have gone down in Las Vegas, last night’s weigh-ins clearly took place in Bizarro World. How else could you explain a slim(mer) Roy Nelson, Josh Koscheck being the victim of bullying, and Nick Diaz comporting himself like a true gentleman?

We were denied a glimpse of “Big Medium Country” at the memorable UFC 137 weigh-ins back in October, but last night he tipped the scales some fourteen pounds lighter than he did when squaring off against Frank Mir last May. Could it be he’s serious about that drop to light heavyweight?

Koscheck hasn’t had much to say about his foe—aside from having to look him up after the fight was signed—but Mike Pierce provoked him further by donning a pretty accurate wig during their staredown. Considering that Pierce called him out in the first place, he either knows something we don’t or is setting himself up for a lesson in humility this evening.

And as for Diaz, there’s not much to say beyond how civilized he looked. No, he didn’t bro hug ‘Conduit‘ after the face-off, but the ruffian we know and love was nowhere to be seen. First a handshake at the presser, and now no mean mug? Could it be that the ‘Pride of Stockton’ has failed to muster up the hatred for his opponent that usually fuels his fights, and if so, does it even matter?

Full weigh-in results, and a closer look at the Diaz-Condit stare-down after the jump.

(“Hey, my eyes are up here, asshole.”)

Discussing MMA is a lot like discussing politics; what starts off as a friendly difference of opinion more than often spirals into an alcohol-fueled debate, rife with personal insults and name calling, before ending in a sloppy wrestling match that gets both parties banned from their boss’s wine tasting parties for life. Luckily, we have Doug “ReX13″ Richardson and Jared Jones here to dispute all things UFC 143, because frankly, we can’t make heads or tails outta this card.

Let’s kick things off how we normally do, with a completely offhand topic. Who wins the Super Bowl?

RX: Me, if the commercials are good and Bane blows up the stadium.  Let me guess, you’re a-

JJ: GO GIANTS!

RX: I hate you so hard, man.

JJ: First off, I’m not your buddy.

RX: But I never-

JJ: Eli Manning is to the Patriots what Dylan Klebold was to Columbine High School; he cannot be defeated, unless by that of his own doing. Giants 35-27.

RX: Wow…this has gotten off to a rough start. Can we just move on?

(Nick Diaz and Carlos Condit exchange a respectful handshake at Gladiator Man‘s funeral.)

Weigh-ins for tomorrow night’s UFC 143: Diaz vs. Condit event are scheduled to get rollin’ today at 7 p.m. ET / 4 p.m. PT in Las Vegas. You can watch the action right here on CagePotato.com, in the video player after the jump. Will Nick Diaz start talking shit during the staredown? What can Roy Nelson possibly do to top his last weigh-in appearance? And will the Fabricio Werdum smirk of insanity make its UFC debut? Keep your browser parked right here to find out, and be sure to come back tomorrow night at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT for our liveblog of the UFC 143 main card.

After rattling off four straight wins under the Strikeforce banner, including a title earning UD over Tim Kennedy at Strikeforce: Houston, Ronaldo “Jacare” Souza was gaining a lot of praise throughout the MMA blogosphere; some sites even went as far as to claim that he was one of the last challengers out there with a chance of beating Anderson Silva. Many of us thought this hype was a bit inflated, and following his rather uninspiring (not to mention title losing) effort against current champ Luke Rockhold, it seemed that  ”Jacare” was all but completely written off, destined to be the number two fighter in a promotion that was quickly running out of potential, not to mention challenging, match-ups.

Well, it looks like Souza will not be given an easy fight to begin his climb back to the top, as he has been booked to take on tough undefeated prospect Derek Brunson on the main card of the upcoming Strikeforce: Tate vs. Rousey event, which goes down March 3rd from the Nationwide Arena in Columbus, Ohio. Brunson, who has compiled 3 straight in Strikeforce, is a well rounded fighter out of Team Jackson who has notched 4 TKO victories alongside 3 submissions in his 9 fight career, most recently scoring a unanimous decision over Nate James at Strikeforce Challengers 20.

In other fight booking news…

(We should have known that Harold Howard would be snubbed. It’s politics, man. It’s all politics.)

This Saturday at UFC 143, the UFC will unveil the broadcast intro that has replaced our fallen gladiator. Known as “Evolution,” the 60-second clip will “pay tribute to all the guys who have helped build this company and helped build this sport over the last 10 years during the Zuffa era,” as Dana White put it. Basically, it’s the most elaborate, big-budget MMA highlight reel ever produced. Read on, and you won’t be shocked when you see it tomorrow…

1) With the exception of Royce Gracie vs. Ken Shamrock at UFC 1, “Evolution” doesn’t include anything before UFC 30.
Here’s a list of the 18 fights featured in the intro, via MMAFighting: Royce Gracie vs. Ken Shamrock (UFC 1), Tito Ortiz vs. Evan Tanner (UFC 30), Matt Hughes vs. Frank Trigg (UFC 52), Chuck Liddell vs. Tito Ortiz (UFC 47), BJ Penn vs. Sean Sherk (UFC 84), Georges St-Pierre vs. Matt Hughes (UFC 65), Randy Couture vs. Tim Sylvia (UFC 68), Quinton Jackson vs. Wanderlei Silva (UFC 92), Brock Lesnar vs. Heath Herring (UFC 87), Rich Franklin vs. Nate Quarry (UFC 56), Junior dos Santos vs. Gilbert Yvel (UFC 108), Dominick Cruz vs. Demetrious Johnson (UFC on VS 6), Forrest Griffin vs. Stephan Bonnar (TUF 1 Finale), Cain Velasquez vs. Brock Lesnar (UFC 121), Frankie Edgar vs. Gray Maynard (UFC 125), Jose Aldo vs. Mark Hominick (UFC 129), Jon Jones vs. Stephan Bonnar (UFC 94), Anderson Silva vs. Vitor Belfort (UFC 126).

The UFC made a point to include all seven current UFC champions, as well as “the guys, almost in chronological order, who have helped us get here,” White said. Of course, the UFC’s SEG-era champions and stars are conspicuously absent. No Frank Shamrock, no Pat Miletich, no Tank Abbott.

2) The intro cost “an obscene amount of money,” and was delayed because of Rich Franklin.

(Aoki/Alvarez 1, from K1 Dynamite 2008. THIS is how men fight.) 

A lot has happened in the four years since Eddie Alvarez was heel-hooked by Shinya Aoki in the first round of their inaugural lightweight championship match back in December of 2008. Aoki has fought a remarkable 13 times since then, picking up notable wins over Marcus Aurelio and Rich Clementi as well as evening the score with DREAM rival Joachim Hansen. He has only gone 1-1 in the States, however, dropping a humiliating unanimous decision to current Strikeforce lightweight champ Gilbert Melendez and notching a quick neck crank submission over Lyle Beerbohm.

Alvarez, on the other hand, went on to become the Bellator lightweight champion after defeating Toby Imada at Bellator 12 in June of ’09, but defended the belt only once in the five fights that succeeded it. We last saw the Philadelphia Fight Factory standout lose said title via fourth round submission in an absolute war with Michael Chandler at Bellator 58 that was my personal pick for 2011′s Fight of the Year.

Well now it seems that these two are destined to collide ONCE AGAIN, in what will surely be…an absolute war (isn’t it funny how you can impersonate Mike Goldberg without even talking?).

(Be careful, Josh! If you eat all of those sour grapes too fast, you might choke!) 

It’s been a while since we’ve heard Josh Koscheck make an offhand remark that has in turn reminded us of his decreasing necessity amongst the welterweight division. Most of us assumed his recent quiescence was possibly linked to an inability to digest the five course serving of humble pie that Georges St. Pierre stuffed down his throat (and eye socket) back at UFC 124, and it appears we were correct. In a recent interview with Ariel Helwani, Koscheck discussed everything from his upcoming UFC 143 fight with Mike Pierce to his dislike for the media and his thoughts on GSP’s recent injuries. And wouldn’t you know it, Koscheck doesn’t want the man who beat him twice to ever come back. Here’s what he had to say:

I’m interested in the outcome of the Diaz vs. Condit fight on Saturday night. Should be a good fight. Hopefully Georges is out for more than 10 months and they can make that Interim titleholder fight twice. Hopefully he never comes back. ACL surgeries can take a lot out of you. They say you truly don’t recover after those. I’ve had friends who have had those and they say they’re not the same so hopefully it equals out the playing field and we can get another crack at Georges. 

Let’s get this straight, you don’t want St. Pierre to return, so you can fight for a future shot against him? To quote Ignignokt, “your logic is flawless.”

Part II after the jump (Video: YouTube/RandomCoolStuffHD)

We’ll be treated to a free night of exciting fights on FOX in just a few hours, but there’s still plenty of time to discuss next weekend’s battle for the interim Welterweight title. The second episode of ‘UFC Primetime: Diaz vs Condit‘ hit the air last night. As if the video wasn’t enough, we’ve got your breakdown of the show just after the jump.

“Forget all about that belt tomorrow, son.” (Video: YouTube/UFC)

Last night’s weigh-ins in the bag and we are officially one step closer to go-time. While these events are a mere formality in the fight business—I mean, who would show up unprepared, right?–they do give one more opportunity for fans to cheer or boo the fighters of their choice, and one more opportunity for fighters to win the mental war. With those assignments in mind, the men on stage and those in the bleachers made the most of the evening.

Though Michael Bisping and Chael Sonnen have taken second billing on this evening’s card, they’ve more than pulled their own weight in the promotions department. While Chael has drawn plenty of hype for this bout, he’s largely focused the spotlight on himself with little attention paid to his opponent whatsoever. Bisping on the other hand has been in full heel mode in recent interviews, embracing his role as the bad guy and verbally attacking his foe whenever possible. Last night he responded to a chorus of boos by brandishing the ‘Stockton Heybuddy‘, a move that seemed to cost him a sponsor, at least momentarily. If these two jawing in the staredown didn’t get you amped for their bout, there’s little I can do for you.

Despite the main event being a mixed martial arts bout, much of the back-and-forth between Rashad Evans and Phil Davis has centered on wrestling credentials. “Mr. Wonderful” was undoubtedly the more decorated of the two during their NCAA careers, though Evans feels his in-cage ability will expose Davis’s “trash technique”. Upping the ante once more before they glove up, Davis sported a Penn State singlet as he hit the scales. Face to face, both men exuded incredible confidence and not a shred of intimidation.

Full weigh-in results and a video of the Evans-Davis face-off after the jump.

(Rashad Evans: He’ll put those hands on you worse than…well, you know. / Photo via MMAFighting.com)

The UFC returns to FOX this Saturday with a three-fight main card that could produce the next title contenders in two different divisions. It’s also packed with betting opportunities that will generously reward the risk-takers. And you’re not a chicken, are you? Huh? Bawk bawk bawwwwwk?? Yeah, that’s what we thought. So consider our UFC on FOX 2: Evans vs. Davis gambling advice after the jump, and be sure to come back for our liveblog, which kicks off at 8 p.m. ET/5 p.m. PT. But first, the complete odds lineup, via BestFightOdds.com:

MAIN CARD (FOX)
Rashad Evans (-165) vs. Phil Davis (+175)
Chael Sonnen (-400) vs. Michael Bisping (+394)
Chris Weidman (-140) vs. Demian Maia (+128)

PRELIMINARY CARD (FUEL TV)
Evan Dunham (-314) vs. Nik Lentz (+300)
Shane Roller (-218) vs. Michael Johnson (+200)
Mike Russow (-150) vs. Jon Olav Einemo (+152)
Cub Swanson (-136) vs. George Roop (+125)
Charles Oliveira (-458) vs. Eric Wisely (+400)
Joey Beltran (-204) vs. Lavar Johnson (+183)

PRELIMINARY CARD (FACEBOOK.com/UFC)
Chris Camozzi (-170) vs. Dustin Jacoby (+160)

Let’s get started…