Gerald Harris’s ‘TUF 7′ Blog: Brain vs. Brawn

(Tim Credeur in happier times.)

Every Thursday morning, Team Rampage member Gerald Harris blogs his reactions to each new episode of The Ultimate Fighter 7 on CagePotato.com. Here’s what he had to say about last night’s ep, in which Forrest Griffin proved that white men can jump, and Mongo Taylor smothered his way into the finals.

***

This episode was pretty good, but I can’t wait until next week. It feels like yesterday, I was sending in an application and audition tape. Now, I’m sitting at home watching all the action unfold like I wasnt a part of it.

As you know by now, Team Rampage has been losing a lot in everything except Go Karts and shit-talking, so when the basketball challenge was announced I “assumed” we finally had a chance to win. My college coach told me that when you assume you make an ass out of yourself and I felt like a big hairy ass when Forrest started kicking Rampage’s. Before the game started I did every dance move known to man as I held 10 grand in cash, but they were slowly shut down by Forrest’s accurate shooing and Rampage’s attempt to build a house with all them damn bricks. He admitted that he sucked at basketball, but it hurt to lose again — not only did we lose, but Forrest put some stank on it and dunked at the end. Damn!

Well, once again America gets to see the many sides of Jesse. Me and Jesse were cool because of Team Quest and I mentioned before that we were both fathers, so we talked about missing our families. I was obviously rooting for him, but I doubted him because of his actions in the house. You didn’t see me in many scenes of his outburts, but I thought he was throwing his opportunity away; I felt like he was taking his position for granted. Little did I know that he’s an animal — not CoCo the monkey, but like King Kong in that damn cage. He’s not that exciting, but very solid. Sure, the dude pisses his shorts, but he kicks ass, so what can you say?

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UFC 85: Monday Morning Post-Mortem

(“Boom! Another hit is landed…” The Pitbull mauls old-ass Matt Hughes. Photo courtesy of UFC.com.)

Now that the adrenaline has subsided, we can have a normal conversation. Here’s what I’ve been thinking about since Saturday afternoon…

— Matt Hughes carved out a legendary career without ever being a particularly dangerous striker. And good for him, but the young fighters coming up these days will not stand for that shit. There’s no way you can compete at an elite level anymore without a complete game. Hughes never had one, and it’s now been fully exposed. After Alves stuffed Hughes’s takedown attempts during their fight, the former champ had no more weapons left, and it was only a countdown until the inevitable. I’m interested in seeing Hughes settle his grudge match with Matt Serra; I’m not really interested in seeing Hughes continue to be tooled by other athletic and well-rounded members of the UFC’s welterweight division.

— Michael Bisping looked deadly once again. Obviously he’d be wrecked by Silva, Franklin, or Henderson (or Marquardt on a good day), but he’d have to be the favorite against any other middleweight in the UFC. I’d guess he’s two wins away from a title shot, and luckily for him, Anderson Silva might not be around by the time he gets there. (The chatter is that Silva may move up to light-heavyweight for a marquee fight, but it’s totally unsubstantiated at this point, so don’t get your hopes up.)

— I don’t care what Jason Lambert needs to do to get down to 185 — stomach stapling, breast reduction surgery, whatever — he just needs to get there. He also needs to understand that his boxing sucks; just like in his fight with Wilson Gouveia, Lambert’s wild and sloppy haymakers led to his own damn self getting knocked out against Luis Cane. I think the biggest lesson I learned from “Bedlam” was that if there’s a noticeably out-of-shape guy fighting a guy in great physical condition, don’t bet on the fatty. (See also: Eddie Sanchez.)

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Gerald Harris’s ‘TUF 7′ Blog: Episode 10

(Tim Credeur puts away the pretty-boy.)

Every Thursday morning, Team Rampage member Gerald Harris blogs his reactions to each new episode of The Ultimate Fighter 7 on CagePotato.com. Here’s what he had to say about last night’s ep, in which Jeremy May tried to stir up some more shit, and Tim Credeur and CB Dollaway battled their way into the semis.

***

Well, I have to say that this was my favorite episode. There was a lot of *bleeping* going on tonight so let me translate for you. Our evening started off with the usual Jeremy May bashing, especially when we weren’t at the house. I was a little shocked at how much people talked behind each other’s backs; it sounded like Americas Next Top Model at times. (I don’t watch that show, but I saw an episode or two…) Anyway, when Jeremy walked in and heard JT he told me his bright idea to get JT kicked out of the house. I had no idea he was going to call him a “Jewish bitch”! Now, that’s not a smooth move — imagine if someone called me the “N-word” or a “Black bitch.” JT was offended and flipped out, but I quickly sat him down and told him to think about his son. You’re in the semi’s man, don’t let anyone stop you from achieving your goal. Things cooled down, but I did laugh when he called Jeremy a broke-nosed bitch!

Now to the semi match ups — Creduer vs. Cramer and CB vs. Yarbrough. I was a little thrown off at Tim’s constant compliments about Cramer. Every time he speaks of him he says that “Cramer is hot,” “Cramer is a heart throb,” or something in that manner. I know that we were locked up for a minute, but I wasn’t thinking about Cramer, I was trying to get a peek at the ring girls or any woman driving on the highway as we went to practice. I don’t want to seem like I’m hating on Tim, but I did want to fight him extremely bad. The first time we spoke I told him that I was going to miss my kids and he says “yeah, I know how you feel — I got two dogs at home.” Then after his victory he randomly walked up to me and a couple other guys that lost. He calmly explained to us how he has $20,000 and how he has the ability to be losing a fight but win, and how we were winning our fights and lost.

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Epic Fail: Nick Serra

(Images courtesy of Sherdog.)

I was holding off on posting about this because I thought a video would turn up by now, but it looks like the video-sharing sites aren’t on fire with undercard matches from EliteXC: Primetime, so here goes.

Posted above is the Sherdog Fight Finder record for Nick “The Mad Monkey” Serra, who completely shamed his family’s name on Saturday night. Sure, you see “DQ (Wouldn’t Get Up From Butt Scoot)” and you think, wow, that’s pretty embarrassing. Dude. Dude. You have no idea.

Matt Serra’s less-successful brother faced off against Matt Makowski, who came into the fight with a 2-0 record. Nick entered the ring wearing a monkey mask, coming off like a broke-ass Jason Miller. (Makowski, for his part, made his ring-walk in spiked shoulder pads, Road Warriors-style.)

True to his nickname, Serra jumped on Makowski’s back after a brief opening exchange, but was slammed to the mat after transitioning to an armbar attempt. Despite throwing a solid upkick from the ground and getting to his feet, Makowski caught him with a couple of nasty uppercuts to close out the round.

Unfortunately, Serra hadn’t planned for round two. By two minutes into the second frame, he was truly, madly, deeply gassed, and his arms wobbled around at his sides. And then it happened. In a desperate attempt to get the fight to the ground, Serra weakly launched a Shinya Aoki-style flying guard-pull, missed Makowski completely, and landed directly on his back. As the crowd “ooh!’d in bemused shock, Serra sheepishly got to his feet. Makowski came in to engage, and Serra intentionally fell backwards onto the mat. Makowski threw his hands up and gave the ref a classic “WTF?” look. The ref ordered Serra to get up. The Mad Monkey refused, and the fight was called for Makowski.

And you know what? That wasn’t even the worst fight on the undercard.

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Faber Outslugs Pulver in Five-Round Classic at WEC 34; Torres Also Retains Belt

Those left with a bad taste in their mouth from the multiple fiascos of Saturday’s EliteXC show got a palate-cleansing burst of brilliant MMA last night, as WEC 34 in Sacramento featured arguably the two greatest bouts in the organization’s history.

In the featherweight championship match, Urijah Faber solidified his status as one of the best fighters in the world, wearing Jens Pulver down with explosive striking combos and showcasing his scary conditioning during the first 25-minute match of his career. Faber came out hard in his usual style, landing a couple of big punches and knees in the clinch. Though Faber slipped to the mat while attempting a kick, Pulver couldn’t capitalize on the ground and was kicked off. The fight was halted briefly when Pulver was poked in the eye, but Lil’ Evil refused to take recovery time. Pulver took Faber’s back briefly against the cage, and ate a spinning backfist for his efforts.

The second round began with another brief stoppage as Faber accidentally kicked Pulver in the groin following a punch combo. Faber dominated the next couple minutes, taking Pulver down, throwing some big elbows, then landing a vicious punch combination when Faber scrambled to his feet. Pulver looked rocked, but fired back with his own punches, including a sharp uppercut that shook Faber. Faber answered with a takedown attempt, but Pulver sprawled and nearly secured a front choke. Faber escaped and punished Pulver with punches until the bell sounded. Pulver seemed gassed at this point, and clearly frustrated that he was being outboxed.

The third round was probably the most exciting of the match, starting with a sharp head kick from Pulver. After Pulver sprawled on a takedown, Faber was able to take Pulver’s back and slam him to the ground, but Pulver bounced up and began a thrilling striking exchange ending with a devastating body kick that put Faber in serious trouble. Faber shot for a takedown but landed with Pulver on top of him and dropping elbows. Faber reversed the position and landed a couple elbows of his own before the fighters were stood up; Pulver was very slow in getting to his feet.

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Gerald Harris’s ‘TUF 7′ Blog: A Rock and a Hard Face

(Jesse Taylor pisses his shorts on national television.)

Every Thursday morning, Team Rampage member Gerald Harris blogs his reactions to each new episode of The Ultimate Fighter 7 on CagePotato.com. Here’s what he had to say about last night’s ep, in which retard-strong (and retard-smart) Jesse Taylor pounded his way to victory, and Amir Sadollah and Matt Brown put on the best fight of the season.

***

By now everyone should know that Jesse Taylor is for real. He’s not the most exciting fighter in the world, but he’s solid and gets the job done. I can’t hate, because I respect winners and he’s also a Team Quest fighter so I was rooting for him. Dante just laid there and took a beating. He’s a veteran in the game and also a brown belt under Ricardo Almeida, so I assumed that he would catch Jesse, but Jesse just punched the [blank] out of him for two full rounds.

Now, let me get to the action! Matt Brown vs. Amir Sadollah was crazy. That’s a fight that people would pay money to watch. I think the first round could be given to Brown for the aggression and last second takedown. Amir seemed to pick up steam in the second round, took Matt down, punished him from the top, and eventually sunk in a triangle choke. I liked the fight because it wasn’t a sloppy slugfest. Brown has a great boxing background and Amir showed his Muay Thai and ground game with the strikes and sub finish. It’s crazy that the more you pressure him, he gets stronger and doesn’t fold — that’s the quality of a good fighter. I can say the same about Brown plus he was very humble in his loss and showed respect for his opponent.

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Gerald Harris’s ‘TUF 7′ Blog: Episode 8

(”The foulest stench is in the air / the funk of 40,000 years / And grisly ghouls from every tomb / are closing in to seal your doom.”)

Every Thursday morning, Team Rampage member Gerald Harris blogs his reactions to each new episode of The Ultimate Fighter 7 on CagePotato.com. Here’s what he had to say about last night’s ep, in which CB Dollaway got his first inevitable win and the quarterfinal matchups were announced.

***

Let me start by apologizing for not speaking on the Yarbrough-Schultz fight in last week’s blog. I was really going through some things — it’s hard to walk around knowing the outcome of the show and holding it from your friends and family. You’re drowned with questions and angry people wanting to know what happened, and also claiming to know the outcome. Last week was a shock to a lot of people close to me but not to many outside of that circle. I learned a lot from the experience and took the loss as motivation. I was also mistaken on my words threatening to hurt Amir after the bout. I was being very sarcastic and I’m very humble about the incident.

Now, it was no surprise that CB was fighting Nick Klein this week. The only surprise was “who the hell is Nick Klein?” Well, let me fill you in. Klein is a tough dude — we were actually respecting him a lot, because he was very quiet in the house. Quiet people are unpredictable and are usually hiding something…like talent. Klein had a lot of it and even earned the name “Killa Klein” for his random funny outbursts. I hate to use the word “underdog” on this show because we’re all at the bottom of the mountain trying to become UFC fighters. In this case even Klein felt like an underdog because of CB’s high profile and #1 pick status from Rampage.

Most of you already know about CB. I didn’t know much about him other than his great wrestling before the show, but I would soon find out about his grappling and Muay Thai skills. I thought that he was just another wrestler, but after training with him I noticed that he was well rounded. He hits hard as hell, has great subs, and he’s meaner than a muthaf*$#a when it’s time to fight. He has this alter ego called the “DOBERMAN” and I saw that as he entered the cage.

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