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Today in WTF?!!: Chris Weidman, Forrest Griffin Pimp Jewelry Stores and DUI Defense in Hilariously Awkward Commercials


(“OK Chris, for this scene, we’re going to need you to act as if you’re reading your lines directly from a cue card. Just look as uninterested as humanly possible and stare as far off-screen as you can. And Marivi, if you could just stare directly at the guy holding the boom mic-PERFECT.”)

It really is difficult to believe anything you see or read on April Fool’s day. Just this morning, a friend of mine who happens to be a traveling musician posted that his band had booked a gig as John Mayer’s opening act for his upcoming Australian tour. After congratulating him on his tremendous accomplishment, I quickly learned that the whole thing was a ploy perpetuated for Facebook likes. Needless to say, he is now dead to me.

Needless to say, I was equally skeptical when videos of Chris Weidman and Forrest Griffin pimping a jewelry store and a DUI defense lawyer, respectively, appeared in my inbox this afternoon. But upon further research (dialing both phone numbers and laughing hysterically until the receptionists hung up), I have determined that what you are about to see are in fact legitimate ads featuring the current middleweight and former light heavyweight champion, which is easily more hilarious than any April Fool’s day joke you will be privy to today or possibly ever.

After the jump you will find videos of both ads, as well as our in-depth analysis of both fighters performances, complete with screengrabs.

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Eddie Bravo vs. Royler Gracie Rematch at Metamoris 3 — Full Video and Helpful Commentary


(Props: OI RANGA)

Eleven years after Eddie Bravo put his name on the map by submitting Royler Gracie at the 2003 ADCC tournament, the two grapplers met in a rematch on Saturday, at Metamoris 3 in Los Angeles. Officially, they fought to a draw — because Metamoris doesn’t use a point system, and every match that doesn’t end in a submission is counted as a draw. But it was a moral victory for Bravo, who controlled most of the action and put Royler in a number of uncomfortable positions.

Unless you’ve studied jiu-jitsu yourself, you might look at sequences like this and be totally baffled. So, a helpful Redditor named MisaCampo recorded a play-by-play commentary video for the entire Bravo vs. Gracie 2 match that explains what’s happening without getting too technical. If you’re a grappling noob who wants to know a little more about the intricacies of human-chess, this is a must-watch.

By the way, Royce Gracie reportedly threatened Bravo after the event as Eddie was throwing up, because that’s just the kind of guy Royce is.

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Cris Cyborg Loses Decision to Jorina Baars at Lion Fight 14 — Highlights and Full Fight Video


(So this is what it’s like to see Cris Cyborg lose a standup fight. Interesting. Props: AXS TV Fights)

Last night in Las Vegas, Cris Cyborg faced undefeated Dutch Muay Thai champ Jorina Baars for the Lion Fight welterweight (145-pound) title. But unlike her previous matches in MMA and Muay Thai, Cyborg wasn’t able to bully her way to a victory this time. Check out the video highlights above to see Baars use her long limbs and superior technique to out-gun Cyborg through five action-packed rounds. Baars won by unanimous decision (49-45, 48-45, 49-44), and extends her impressive Muay Thai record to 36-0-3, while Cyborg drops to 2-1.

“I’m a Muay Thai fighter. She’s an MMA fighter,” Baars told MMAFighting.com after the fight. “I will beat her. That’s every opponent, I will beat them. It’s my sport. It’s my style…[Cyborg] is strong and she has power. But it’s not the hardest punch I’ve gotten hit with.”

After the jump: The complete Cyborg vs. Baars Lion Fight 14 match. Check it out while it lasts. Plus, full results from the event via LionFight.com.

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Friday Links: The Philosophy of Johny Hendricks, Cormier vs. Cavalcante and MacDonald vs. Woodley in the Works, March Madness Mascotology + More


(Check out this inspiring behind-the-scenes video of Johny Hendricks bouncing back from his loss to Georges St-Pierre to win the welterweight title at UFC 171. / Props: AskMen)

Daniel Cormier vs. Rafael Cavalcante in the Works for UFC 175 in July (BleacherReport)

This Mike Tyson x Balrog Mash-Up Highlight Is All You Need in Your Life (MiddleEasy)

Stunning New Visions From MMA Ring Girl/Model Sierra Rene (Babes of MMA)

UFC Reportedly Targeting Rory MacDonald vs. Tyron Woodley for UFC 174 (BloodyElbow)

Francis Carmont vs. C.B. Dollaway Co-Headlines UFC Fight Night 41 in Berlin (MMAJunkie)

Mascotology: Predicting This Year’s Sweet Sixteen Winners by Mascot (HolyTaco)

Hottest Webcam Girl of the Year: Vote Now for the Elite 8! (EveryJoe)

7 Reasons the Average Person Would Never Survive in Any Video Game (Guyism)

The Funniest YouTube Comments Ever Posted (PopHangover)

16 Sexiest ‘Game of Thrones’ Moments (Ranker)

Britney Spears Looks Pretty Good in a Bikini, Actually (DrunkenStepfather)

The 25 Funniest Celebrity Photobombs Ever (WorldWideInterweb)

The 50 Best Action Movies of All Time (HiConsumption)

10 Bible Movies Weirder Than ‘Noah’ (EscapistMagazine)

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VIDEO: Gina Carano’s Nightclub Fight Scene From ‘In the Blood’


(Props: ESPN (?) via MiddleEasy)

You’ve seen the poster and you’ve seen the trailer — now watch this complete nightclub fight scene from Gina Carano‘s upcoming action movie, In the Blood. Are there Superman-punches? Yes. Is there an armbar? Yes. Does the armbar make the same generic “thump” sound as the Superman-punch, for some reason? You’d better believe it. Do we get a flash of Carano’s undies as she rolls around on the floor, which happen to match her red dress? Yeah, bro. Do a trio of basic bitches attack Carano one-by-one after she’s destroyed a dozen full grown men, as if *hair-pulling* might be her weakness? Don’t ask.

And yes, as long as Gina Carano keeps insisting that she might return to MMA one day, we’re going to keep talking about her.

Deal.

With.

It.

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VIDEO: Wanderlei Silva Threatens to Leave ‘TUF Brazil’ Because Chael Sonnen Won’t Apologize to Him


(Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

I almost feel bad for the cast of TUF Brazil 3 — whoever they are — because all the squabbling/fake brawling between coaches Chael Sonnen and Wanderlei Silva is stealing so much of the spotlight. Then again, do I care about regional-level Brazilian prospects fighting in a reality-TV tournament? I do not. Do I have any plans to subscribe to Fight Pass to watch this show and others like it? No sir. At all, like ever? No no no.

So here’s something else that happened during filming: Wanderlei Silva demanded an apology for all of the nasty things Chael Sonnen said about Brazilian people in the lead-up to his first fight against Anderson Silva. Sonnen refused. Silva threatened to leave the show if Sonnen didn’t apologize. Sonnen refused some more, and suddenly we were at an impasse. Here’s what Chael had to say afterwards about Silva’s failed power-play:

“He is so stupid, I’m ashamed of him. He is a checkers player. In checkers you play one move at a time. If you are a chess player, you have to guess what I’m going to do and plan your next move, you have to be three or four moves ahead. He is so stupid, and I’m not trying to offend him, stupid is a word for a real thing. He comes and say: ‘the show stops if you don’t apologize for what you said about Brazil’. He did what a real checkers player would do. He would never imagine that I would refuse to apologize. When I refused, all that he could do was give up. He put himself in check, I didn’t do that. The show stopped and was almost over. They had to call Dana White and the producers. I begged him to come back and he didn’t. So he called for a cab and the cab came. One producer had to stop him in the cab and make him come back…

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[VIDEO] This “Worst Stoppages in MMA” Supercut Portrays the *Real* Agony of Being an MMA Fan (or Fighter)

Much like that of a police officer, an intern, or a mid-level MMA blogger, the job of an MMA referee is an oft thankless one, rife with controversy and Internet comments from anonymous people claiming that they could do it better than you (that last part may be a bit specific). But after watching this supercut of “The Worst Stoppages in MMA” compiled by TapNapSnap, you might begin to understand why most fight fans hold MMA referees second only to MMA judges on the list of incompetent fuck-ups who are ruining the sport. Truly a life of never-ending agony and disappointment, that of the MMA fan.

Whether it’s horrifyingly late stoppages like Marius Zaromskis vs. Andrey Koreshkov, “virgin on prom night”-premature stoppages like Aaron Riley vs. Shane Nelson 1, or just plain bizarre stoppages and stand-ups that have occurred over the years in Bellator, Strikeforce, and the UFC (among several smaller promotions), this video is sure to remove any traces of empathy you had left for MMA referees, and in fact, it might send you into a blind rage that ends with the mass killing of anyone wearing a vertically striped shirt. We will not be held liable, in any case.

So take a few deep breaths and check out the 30-minute supercut above, then watch this gif of Daniel Gallemore vs. Fredrick Brown from Bellator 113 and completely lose your sh*t again. Fair warning.

-J. Jones

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‘The Greatest MMA Fight of All Time’ Tournament Is Coming Soon: Which of These Classic Battles Deserves a Spot in the Bracket?


(As always, “WAR WAND! PRIDE NEVA DIE!” is an acceptable write-in vote.)

Peep this, Potato Nation — in honor of March Madness, we’re putting together a big bracketology feature on the best fights in MMA history, with your votes determining the #1 Greatest MMA Fight of All Time. (Launch date: TBA…but pretty soon!) I’m looking forward to it, and you should too.

The only problem is, our interactive bracket only has space for 16 entries, which means that a bunch of classic MMA matches won’t be included. I can’t reveal the bracket yet, but I can reveal the ten honorable mentions that are all competing for the last spot. Check ‘em out below, and click those links for video clips of each one.

Kazushi Sakuraba vs. Carlos Newton
PRIDE 3, 6/24/98

Matt Hughes vs. BJ Penn 2
UFC 63, 9/23/06

Dan Henderson vs. Wanderlei Silva 2
PRIDE 33, 2/24/07

Chuck Liddell vs. Wanderlei Silva
UFC 79, 12/29/07

Anthony Pettis vs. Benson Henderson 1
WEC 53, 12/16/10

Frankie Edgar vs. Gray Maynard 2
UFC 125, 1/1/11

Cheick Kongo vs. Pat Barry
UFC on Versus 4, 6/26/11

Wanderlei Silva vs. Brian Stann
UFC on FUEL 8, 3/3/13

Gilbert Melendez vs. Diego Sanchez
UFC 166, 10/19/13

Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva vs. Mark Hunt
UFC Fight Night 33, 12/7/13

After the jump, you will find a voting widget. Cast your vote on which of the above fights is most worthy of a place in the bracket, and that fight will earn the sixteenth spot. Votes must be in by Thursday morning at 9 a.m. ET.

Make sense? If not, please drop us a line in the comments section or on Twitter. Now get to voting…

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Knockout of the Night: Nicolas Dalby Makes Sergei Churilov Do the “No Bones Dance” at Cage Warriors 66

Although Rolles Gracie’s “Flair Flop” at WSOF 5 will forever be immortalized as the greatest involuntary reaction to a KO of all time (with Kaleo Gambill’s post-fight beat-off being the clear but distant runner-up), we’ll be damned if Sergei Churilov didn’t give him a run for his money at Cage Warriors 66 last weekend.

In a fight for the promotion’s vacant welterweight title, Nicolas Dalby and Churilov engaged in a back-and-forth slugfest that ranked among the best of the year. Churilov was getting the better of the exchanges until midway through the fourth round, when Dalby unleashed a head kick that had the Ukrainian doing the “No Bones Dance” across the ring (or “Gumbying” as the kids I just made up are calling it).

A few follow-up punches were all that Dalby needed to walk away with the welterweight title in hand, and while he may have gotten the victory, it is Churilov who will surely get the last laugh when his post-KO dance is celebrated in gif form for years to come. I mean, just look at those moves!

The man is clearly a big Kevin Bacon fan is all I’m saying.

-J. Jones

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VIDEO: Pat Barry Returns to Kickboxing, Knocks Out Ed Burris at CSC 39


(Props: instagram.com/hypeordie)

Former UFC heavyweight Pat Barry made his return to kickboxing last night, knocking out opponent Ed Burris at CSC 39: USA vs. the World, which took place at the Arthur Ashe Athletic Center in Richmond, Virginia.

Since this 15-second Instagram clip is all we have to work with, we have no idea if the fight was even remotely competitive, or if Burris just covered up the whole time, waiting for the inevitable. (We’ll update this post if/when a full video of the match surfaces.) At any rate, Barry picks up some valuable ring-time and confidence heading into his GLORY debut against Zack Mwekassa, May 3rd in Broomfield, Colorado.

Well done, HD.

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