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The 25 Greatest MMA Knockouts of 2009

Michael Bisping UFC 100 knockoutAndrei Arlovski Fedor knockoutForrest Griffin knockout UFC 101Cub Swanson WEC knockout Jose Aldo
(Bisping, Arlovski, Griffin, and Swanson: Four of the year’s most unfortunate victims.)

#25: Vitor Belfort sends Matt Lindland into convulsions at Affliction: Day of Reckoning (1/24/09).

#24. Gegard Mousasi makes his presence known in America by pounding Renato Sobral flat at Strikeforce: Carano vs. Cyborg (8/15/09).

#23: Matt Hamill unleashes his inner Cro Cop against Mark Munoz at UFC 96 (3/7/09).

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The 25 Greatest MMA Knockouts of 2009 (#12-1)

IF YOU MISSED KNOCKOUTS #25-13, CLICK HERE.

#12: Fedor Emelianenko adds Brett Rogers to his vast collection of scalps at Strikeforce: Fedor vs. Rogers (11/7/09).

#11: Brian Bowles shocks the world, earns the WEC’s bantamweight title, and breaks Miguel Torres‘s 17-fight win streak at WEC 42 (8/9/09).

#10: Lyoto Machida makes Rashad Evans do the stanky leg at UFC 98. (5/23/09)

#9: Dan Hornbuckle starches Akihiro Gono with a kick to the face at Sengoku 9 — then takes a moment to think about what he’s done (8/2/09).

#8: Scott Smith pulls off the greatest comeback knockout of the year against Cung Le at Strikeforce: Evolution (12/19/09).

#7: Dan Henderson shuts Michael Bisping‘s big spotted-dick-eating mouth at UFC 100 (7/11/09).

#6 (tie): Marius Zaromskis high-kicks Hayato Sakurai into a living death at the DREAM welterweight GP semi-finals; later that same night, Marius Zaromskis does the same exact thing to Jason High (7/20/09). Congrats, Jason, you’re on the wrong end of this list twice.

#5: Yahir Reyes cracks Estevan Payan with what might be the nastiest spinning-backfist in MMA history at Bellator 6. (5/8/09)

#4: Jose Aldo needs just 8 seconds and a well-timed flying knee to wreck Cub Swanson — and earn a title shot — at WEC 41 (6/7/09).

#3: Anderson Silva shows Forrest Griffin the true power of a Jedi at UFC 101 (8/8/09).

#2: Fedor Emelianenko shoots Andrei Arlovski out of the air at Affliction: Day of Reckoning (1/24/09).

Fedor vs. Arlovski – Watch more Funny Videos

#1: Marcus "Lelo" Aurelio proves that Capoeira is MMA’s most effective style — at least for one night — against Keegan Marshall at North American Challenge 24 (4/4/09).

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UFC 108 Danavlog #1: Meet Gilbert Yvel


(Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

Gilbert Yvel’s UFC debut against Junior Dos Santos is only five days away, and Dana White is pumped. To introduce the infamous Dutch striker to any dumbass noobs who’ve never heard of him, DW brought his video-blog operation over to Modern Martial Arts to watch Yvel work out. The gym is run by John Lewis, Dana’s first (and only) jiu-jitsu instructor, who went 1-1 in the UFC about ten years ago. Lewis complains to Dana that all he ever sees on UFC Unleashed is him getting tooled by Jens Pulver. To make it up to him, Lewis’s nasty stoppage of Lowell Anderson at UFC 22 is at the end of this video blog. Anyway, Yvel looks to be in fine form, but Dos Santos can bang too, and if he can get Hurricane Yvel to the ground it might be a wrap, son.

After the jump: Paul Daley discusses his God-given ability to knock people out; he’ll be taking on submission prodigy Dustin Hazelett at #108.

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The 10 Best Submissions of 2009

10. Tom Lawlor sings CB Dollaway a lullaby

(UFC 100, 7/11/09)

Tom Lawlor was a 2-1 underdog in his bout with C.B. Dollaway at UFC 100. Conventional wisdom said that he’d be an entertaining guy to have on the card prior to the opening horn, but wouldn’t stand much of a chance against Dollaway’s dominant wrestling and smirking self-assurance. The entertaining part turned out to be true. Lawlor painted himself in homage to the infamous Just Bleed Guy for the weigh-in, and then used man-dog Seth Petruzelli as a prop in his entrance. That’s where the fun was supposed to stop, but just seconds into the first round he locked up an arm-in guillotine choke off a Dollaway takedown attempt and held on to it until his opponent’s lip uncurled and his eyes rolled back in his head. Maybe it wasn’t the most technically brilliant move, but he did choke C.B. Dollaway unconscious, which meant we didn’t have to listen to him talk for a little while. That ought to be worth something.

9. Jake Rosholt ruins Chris Leben’s hometown party

(UFC 102, 8/29/09)

UFC 102 in Portland, Oregon was supposed to be Chris Leben’s homecoming. Coming off a long steroid suspension following his loss against Michael Bisping, he drew the relatively inexperienced Jake Rosholt in his return. But early on in the fight it became apparent that Leben came to throw wild, looping bombs, while Rosholt came to fight a mixed martial arts bout. After trading on the feet for a little while Rosholt finally got smart and put Leben on his back long enough to lock up an arm-triangle choke. Leben considered tapping, but didn’t get around to it before his brain called it quits. Somehow, Rosholt got cut after losing his next bout, while Leben still has a job with the UFC. This crazy world.

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Video: This Is How Matt Hughes Came Up, Yo

It should surprise no one to learn that Matt Hughes did a lot of scrapping with his twin brother Mark as a kid.  You put two country boys out on the farm with not much else to do, beating on one another is bound to become the primary source of entertainment.  But just to remove all doubt on the matter, Hughes posted this video of a Christmas morning in the Hughes household circa 1976 to his website. 

At first it’s just Mark and Matt and their older sister unwrapping presents in their pj’s, filled with all the bushy-headed amazement you might expect.  But that’s before some genius gave them various types of boxing gloves, presumably to protect their little hands from damage during the many fights that began erupting as soon as the boys learned to make fists.  The funny part is, watch how quickly a boxing match between the Hughes boys turns into a wrestling match.  It’s like they can’t help it.  Their parents don’t seem too concerned.  They don’t even step in to stop those strikes to the back of the head from Matt’s older sister.  Think of it as quality training for the hard years to come.

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Video: Dan Henderson Discusses Strikeforce Signing, Dana White’s Fat Ass


(Props: Sherdog)

No longer a free agent, MMA living legend Dan Henderson is slated to challenge Jake Shields for Strikeforce’s middleweight belt at the organization’s next CBS card in April. Dana White may take full responsibility for Hendo’s exit from the UFC, but according to Henderson in the video interview above, the signing was the best thing for him, really: "The opportunity to fight on CBS is huge…and you just don’t get that elsewhere. To have the opportunities to still be able to fight the top guys in the world, that was one of my main concerns, and they have that here as well. There’s no red tape to go through with sponsorships. Clinch Gear‘s not banned from the organization. I’m just happy all the way around."

Responding to White’s recent claims that he’s permanently "done" with Henderson, Dan was his usual respectful self: "I think the fans know Dana White. Personally, as far as our relationship, he’s still gonna be alright with me, but business-wise maybe he has to put on a certain front for certain things. And either way I’ll say that he’s still fat and he needs to diet down a little bit. I’ve been telling him for a long time. Hes spending a lot of money on expanding those suits."

As for his next opponent, Henderson described Jake Shields as "bigger than me…I think he does cut quite a bit of weight to get to ’85" — which seems like an odd claim based on information he probably made up. And sure, it’s no Henderson vs. Silva II, or even Henderson vs. Marquardt, but whaddya gonna do: "I don’t know how excited the fans are gonna be about that fight," Henderson said. "But I think it’s a good matchup and I’m excited about it."

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Video: A Special Holiday Greeting From Cage Potato


Seasons Greetings From Cagepotato.com – Watch more Funny Videos

From all of us at Cage Potato to all of you in the wondrous land of the internet, Merry Christmas/Hanukkah/Festivus/winter celebration in honor of whatever other weird belief system you cling to for meaning. As a gift, we made you this video.  Thanks for sticking with us through another tumultuous year in the world of mixed martial arts. We’ll do our best to come up with even better smart-ass remarks about it in 2010.

To those poor bastards among you who are traveling this holiday season, stay safe and don’t forget that you can check out the mobile version of Cage Potato on your fancy cell phones. May the soft glow of our homepage bring you comfort as you pass out in an airport bar after your flight gets delayed.

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Videos: El Guapo Likes to Dance, Mike Goldberg Likes to Say Stuff Without Thinking

As much as we were hoping that this Bas Rutten video thing was a 42-part series from Fight Magazine, they seem to have reached a zenith with this video.  It’s titled "El Guapo Likes to Dance," after a song that Bas says he wrote.  "Stairway to Heaven" it ain’t, but it’s catchy and the accompanying footage also proves that it’s true.  Our prediction?  You will mock this video at first and then go about your day thinking nothing of it.  Then, about four hours from now when you’re doing the last of your frantic Christmas shopping at the dollar store, you’ll catch yourself singing it and bopping your head along with the beat.  That’s when you’ll look up and see everyone watching you, horrified and yet transfixed.  

For more of Rutten’s world, go here.  After the jump, the Mike Goldberg highlight reel that tells you everything you need to know.

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Unique Technique of the Week: Imanari’s Omoplata-Neck-Crank-Choke-Thing @ Deep: Cage Impact 2009


(Fight starts at the 3:48 mark. Props: NelsaoCB)

Whenever Masakazu Imanari steps into a ring, there’s always a good chance that something crazy will go down. Case in point: His fight against Justin Cruz at Deep’s latest event in Tokyo on Saturday. After getting the crowd in the right spirit by walking out to Sade’s "No Ordinary Love," Imanari stalked Cruz around the cage until he had an opportunity to pull guard. Once on the ground, he quickly set up an omoplata, then climbed around to Cruz’s back and cranked his neck, stretching out his opponent’s body in a very unpleasant-looking way. Imanari then hooked an arm under Cruz’s neck and immediately forced the tap. Boom — add it to the Ashikan Judan‘s highlight reel.

Imanari then accepted his trophy from a schoolgirl who looked like she was randomly pulled from the audience (see the 7:25 mark), and pretended that it was enormous penis, turning to each side of the arena so that everyone could see how clever he was. If a fighter did that in the UFC, it would be considered extremely offensive. But with Imanari — well, it’s a Japanese thing, and you just wouldn’t understand.

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The MMA Minute: Volume Two


MMA Minute #2 – Watch more Funny Videos

Good news (for those of you who like watching a dude talk into a camera for short periods of time)! “The MMA Minute” is back for another episode, breaking down all the action from this busy weekend and giving you more insight than you probably needed into my personal life. This time I discuss which organization came out looking like the winner in the showdown between Strikeforce and the WEC, and then I more or less stare awkwardly into the camera until the strain of all the attention becomes too much for me and I burst into tears. That’s what it felt like anyway. Hope you enjoy it.

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