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Behold, The MMA Minute


The MMA Minute: post-UFC 107 edition – Watch more Funny Videos

As part of our continuing effort to please our illiterate fanbase while simultaneously infuriating those of you who read Cage Potato in quiet work environments, we present "The MMA Minute."  It’s a brief rundown of the weekend that was in mixed martial arts, telling you nothing you didn’t already know if you actually watched the fights, but telling you that nothing in the wry, almost witty manner you’ve come to expect from this site.  Think of it as a minute and forty-five seconds of your life that you’ll never get back.  Ever. 

Also, there’s a cat in it, though any resemblance that cat may have to the one that went missing from the house down the street from mine is purely incidental.  That little girl can cry and put up all the posters she wants, it’s not going to change my position on the matter.

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Video: Diego Sanchez Positive-Thinks His Way Through the UFC 107 Weigh-In

You know how you can tell that Diego Sanchez‘s eccentricity is not an act?  Skip to the 3:10 mark of Dana White’s weigh-in video blog and watch him psyching himself up before he gets on the scales.  Dude is still more than twenty-four hours away from the fight itself at this point, but there he is, gently swaying back and forth while shouting ‘Yes!’ to himself, oblivious to the presence of any other human beings.  Normal people — even normal people who get really into the vague platitudes of Tony Robbins — would probably choose to play it a little closer to the vest.  Maybe they’d just think ‘Yes!’ over and over to themselves, or perhaps mutter it very softly.  Not Diego.  Probably because being embarrassed of his own actions has never even occurred to him.

Also worth noting here is one of B.J. Penn‘s cornermen, who stands just behind Sanchez as he works himself into a frenzy, and at one point glances back at Penn as if to say, ‘You seeing this?’  And yeah, Penn sees it and seems thoroughly unimpressed.  I can’t wait to see who wins the race to the center of the Octagon. 

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B.J. Penn’s Hands Are Looking Sharp

That’s B.J. Penn hitting some mitts at the UFC 107 open workout, and all we can say is, daaaaamn!  We all know that Penn’s boxing skills have come a long way in the last few years, but this gives you a good idea of just how fast his hands are these days.  And yeah, we realize that it’s one thing to look great hitting pads and quite another to do it with a real live crazy person trying to hit you back, but this is still an impressive display from the lightweight champ.  If Diego Sanchez is going to threaten him on the feet, it seems like he’ll have to do it with the variety and unpredictability of his attack, rather than the sheer speed and power.  Good luck with that.

P.S. If you’re wondering how Penn is relaxing in his down time, check out this video where he sits down to watch the 1986 sci-fi action flick "Eliminators," which he describes as "the best movie ever."  We scoffed at that claim initially.  I mean, has Penn somehow not seen "Conan the Barbarian"?  But then we found something that made us rethink that position…

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Video: Herschel Walker Shows Us What He’s Got


(Props: YouTube.com/strikeforcefilms)

You know you’re a big deal when Frank Shamrock is handling color commentary for your striking drills. Herschel Walker‘s MMA debut is slated for next month, and even though his opponent is still TBA, Strikeforce decided to shoot some footage of the former football star working out at American Kickboxing Academy to prove that he can hit pads without injuring himself. Of course, this tells us nothing about the ground skills that he may or may not be picking up, but hey, those roundhouse kicks look pretty sharp for a 47-year-old. Tickets for Strikeforce: Miami go on sale to the general public tomorrow at Ticketmaster; as of now, no matchups have been officially announced, so purchase at your own risk.

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Videos: Jon Fitch Hates Those Decisions As Much As You Do, B.J. Penn Sounds Slightly Sick + More

Jon Fitch spoke to Fight Magazine in advance of his bout with Mike Pierce at UFC 107 this weekend, and he’s got news for all you haters out there: Fitch doesn’t like it when fights go to a decision, either.  That might seem counterintuitive, since his last five fights have ended in decisions.  In fact, you have to go all the way back to his 2007 fight against Roan Carneiro to see Fitch finish a fight.  But as he points out in his own defense, finishing dudes in the UFC isn’t easy.  Being a wrestler without KO power or a high-level submissions game probably doesn’t help any, but still. 

After the jump, Diego Sanchez is as pumped as ever in his latest video blog, while B.J. Penn is already in Memphis and sounding like he might be coming down with something.  Quick B.J., do one of Diego’s foot detox baths!  It’s your only hope!!!!

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Video: Kimbo Slice Reacts to His First UFC Victory


(Props: MMA Fanhouse)

At the post-fight press conference following the TUF 10 Finale, Kimbo Slice was as pleased as you could reasonably expect considering he’d just narrowly scratched out a victory against a guy who all but refused to fight him. Though fans and pundits expected Slice and Houston Alexander to put on a one-round war — a backyard brawl brought to the Octagon — we instead got Minowaman vs. Zuluzinho part 2. "We were prepared for somewhat of his attacks, but I wasn’t prepared for the ring-riding that he did," Kimbo said. Still, he wasn’t going to let Alexander bait him into making a mistake:

"If I would have ran in there foolishly, I would have gotten knocked out. It wasn’t difficult to stay patient…A few times, I just called him out. I had to call him by his name, I had to say some things in the ring, like, ‘Let’s do this,’ in so many words. I reverted back to the streets a little bit, verbally. He didn’t engage. He stuck to his plan, so I said, ‘Well, I’m not going to be foolish and run up on him.’ I wanted to be a smart fighter as well…
 
It’s hard. It’s not an easy thing because I first was a street fighter, and being a street fighter there was no training in my style of fighting. I just went in there based on my instincts, watching the guy’s movement, and countering him. But at this level of the game, as a professional fighter in the UFC, you have to be like almost genius-type smart because you have all these dimensions you have to bottle in one, and you just gotta know when to counter, and when to not hit, when to not engage, and try to wait it out. There’s a lot [that] guys gotta go through."
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K-1 World Grand Prix Final 2009 Results + Videos: Schilt Buzzsaws Through Tourney, Hari KO’s Overeem in Semis


(Semmy Schilt vs. Badr Hari. Props: 19054771 via BloodyElbow)

K-1 legend Semmy Schilt made history today in Yokohama, picking up his fourth K-1 World Grand Prix title — tying him with Ernesto Hoost, who was also a four-time champ — and doing it faster than any other kickboxer before him. Schilt needed just 5:52 of combined fight time to tear apart Jerome Le Banner, defending World GP champion Remy Bonjasky, and Badr Hari; not exactly an easy draw for the 6’11" Dutchman. The final-round victory over Hari avenged a 45-second knockout loss to the Golden Boy that Schilt suffered earlier this year at It’s Showtime 2009 Amsterdam.

Despite all the horsemeat, Alistair Overeem only made it to the semi-finals of today’s tournament. The Demolition Man came out in ferocious fashion, putting Ewerton Teixeira to sleep with a thunderous knee in the quarterfinals. But his semi-final match against old nemesis Badr Hari didn’t go so well. After throwing Hari to the mat on two separate occasions, Overeem was dropped with a right hook to the ear. Forty-five seconds later, Hari landed a left head kick that wobbled Overeem into the turnbuckle, forcing the ref to jump in and stop the fight. Full results and lots more videos after the jump…

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Video: When the Chill Dawg Rule Fails


(Props: MMA Share)

With Houston Alexander and Kimbo Slice set to square off in a "Ultimate Fighter" finale fight that could have been the Super Bowl of backyard brawls a few years ago, it seems only fitting that we take a look at what happens when the social contract breaks down and one man fails to adhere to the Chill Dawg Rule, which has a clear precedent in the fighting world.  What you see here is a fight between Kristijan Golubovic and Marian Rusu in a Serbian event ironically titled "Ultra FC: Stop the Crime." 

While there is no official word on whether this event succeeded in halting all crime in Serbia, it could not have helped that this fight turned into a lawless shit-show less than thirty seconds in.  Rusu was eventually ruled the loser via leg injury, but his opponent was reluctant to let him off that easily, chasing him around the cage and shoving the ref down in order to continue fighting a man who clearly wanted out.  I guess we shouldn’t be surprised, since Golubovic appears to be a pretty famous criminal in his home country.  He also has an awesomely obnoxious website.

Let this be a lesson to all you kids out there.  There’s nothing cool about failing to chill when asked properly.

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Diego Sanchez and BJ Penn Have Different Ways of Doing Things

We told you Diego Sanchez was a little bit weird, but you just wouldn’t believe us.  Maybe you’ll change your mind once you see his pre-UFC 107 video blog, in which he plays with an iguana to help his reflexes.  Not that we don’t respect his positive attitude.  I mean, the guy’s car breaks down on the side of the road and he breaks into song.  Although it’s still unclear how he turned that particular negative into a positive.  From what we can tell, it was pretty much all negative.  Sure, he got a ride in someone else’s Toyota Yaris, but those of us who have driven a Yaris know damn well that it’s basically one step up from those Flintstones cars, if that.  At least those things looked heavy enough that you didn’t have to worry about a strong wind sweeping you off the road.

After the jump, we give equal time to some of B.J. Penn‘s annoying thirty second videos.   Because editing stuff together is for haoles, bra.

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B.J. Penn Says He Punished KenFlo, But Seems to Generally Like Diego Sanchez

In his recent fights UFC lightweight champ B.J. Penn has fallen into a pattern of making it personal with his opponents before the bout, then embracing them like old friends once he’s beaten them up.  In this video he says he wanted to feed Kenny Florian some extra elbow strikes for making him look like a fool and a liar in the media, because "that’s what I felt he deserved."  This assertion casts Penn as not only the dominant lightweight champ, but also as a sort of avenging angel of justice in his fights.  He’s not just thinking about winning in there; that’s a foregone conclusion.  He’s taking into account your past deeds and considering how much punishment you deserve, which is kind of disturbing and also kind of awesome.

As for Diego Sanchez, Penn may let him off with just a loss.  He can’t think of anything bad to say about the guy, except that he’s a little strange, which Diego will tell you himself.  The real question here is whether Penn will be in the kind of shape to go five rounds with a human perpetual motion machine like "The Nightmare."  He says it won’t be a problem.  He also says his work ethic has never been an issue.  There’s reason to doubt at least one of those claims.

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