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15 Moments of Instant Regret [GIFs]

Videos - Page 209

MMA vs. Boxing, Chapter XXXVIII: In Which Bob Arum Calls Us a Bunch of Skinheads and Homosexuals

What’s the best way to get an ancient boxing promoter to go off on a hilariously offensive rant about MMA?  Send a young whippersnapper like Ariel Helwani to a press conference with a microphone and a shirt without a tie, then have him just mention the UFC and watch the bullshit fly.  Following up on Dana White’s shot at the boxing world this week, Arum comes right back with his own attack on MMA, calling it a sport for skinheads who like to see homosexuals rolling around the mat together.  That he said this to Helwani, an ardent MMA-lover who happens to have a shaved head but who also happens to be Jewish (and married, to some poor woman, no less), is what we’re going to go ahead and call poetic justice.

Arum goes on to level all the usual accusations against MMA.  He says the fighters can’t throw a punch or take one, that the audience is all redneck white guys, that the UFC isn’t selling nearly as many pay-per-views as they claim, and that the Charleston will never go out of style (that last one may have just been implied, but you get the point).  Basically it’s nothing you haven’t heard during Thanksgiving dinner at your grandfather’s house, only Arum stops just short of calling the internet a form of black magic. 

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Videos: MMA Has Some Real World Applications, + More


Clerk Beats Down Armed Robber – Watch more Funny Videos

For those of you who love watching MMA but have often found yourself wondering, ‘Does this have any practical application in my life, or am I just wasting my time with this like I did with that liberal arts degree?’ we’d like to offer the above video as an answer.  Judging by the way this extremely calm store clerk takes down the would-be robber and then administers a little Brock Lesnar-style ground-and-pound, it sure seems like he’s managed to find a way to make MMA relevant in his everyday activities.  As for that liberal arts degree, well, he was working in a convenience store…

After the jump, a fight that will make it easier for you to pretend not to be disappointed when the doctor tells you that you’re having a girl.

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Videos: Kimbo Slice Wants to Hurt Your Caterpillar, TUF Is ‘Still As Real As It Gets’


(Props: YouTube.com/norton via BloodyElbow)

This Kimbo Slice character — he’s so hot right now. And security software company Norton has decided to use him in a commercial to represent cybercriminals. Random, yes, but at least Kimbo makes more sense than Norton’s previous celebrity bad guys, the ’80s band Dokken. By the way, if you want to see what would happen if you chose "allow" in the above video, click here. Let’s hope Slice gets more lines of dialogue in the upcoming season of The Ultimate Fighter. Speaking of which…

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Video: Dana White Gets Personal Against Mayweather vs. Pee-Drinking What’s-His-Name


(Props: youtube.com/UFC)

"What made Floyd Mayweather a pay-per-view star was Oscar De La Hoya. I know Floyd can’t sell tickets without Oscar but what’s happening here is, boxing is doing it to you again. They’re giving you the fight that you don’t want. Nobody asked for this fight with, ah, with Mayweather and, ah, what’s his name? What’s his name? Nobody even knows, nobody in this room even knows who Floyd’s fighting! I should know, I’m a big boxing guy and I respect the guy that he’s fighting, I know his name but I can’t think of it right now. But that’s my point, nobody gives a shit! Boxing is trying to sell you the fight that nobody cares about. People wanna see Mayweather/Pacquiao. But they’re not giving you that fight…

You show up to see Floyd Mayweather not fight. This guy will run around in circles. Everybody wants to know why the UFC is becoming so popular? It’s because they’re sick of boxers not fighting…basically you get to see ‘Dancing With the Stars’ again with Floyd Mayweather, except you have to pay for it this time…On that same night, on that UFC card, you guys can all tune in and you can watch not one fight, you guys can watch five great fights that night, for ten dollars less than what Floyd wants you to pay to see him run around in circles and lay on the ropes and move around and not fight."

Dana White may have muzzled his video blogs, but he won’t hesitate to lay down some verbal bitchsmack recorded against a green-screen when the situation calls for it. And Floyd Mayweather’s anti-MMA rhetoric has clearly gotten under his skin. Dana may have a point about Mayweather not setting up the matchup that fans want to see, but he should be careful about banging that drum too hard. After all, which fight did MMA fans ask for: Lesnar vs. Carwin or Lesnar vs. Fedor? When did we start clamoring for Franklin vs. Belfort? And by the way, Dana, Floyd’s opponent is Juan Manuel Marquez, and he’s fabulous.

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Tito Ortiz’s Self-Deception Skills Are Still Second to None

When it comes to making self-aggrandizing statements that vastly overstate his own importance and ability, no one in MMA even comes close to Tito Ortiz.  In this video interview (props to The Garv for the find) Ortiz manages to call Lyoto Machida a pussy, take credit for the champ’s current fight-finishing streak, and praise both Brock Lesnar and Georges St. Pierre for being Tito Ortiz-esque fighters, all in just four minutes.  That’s called covering all your bases, and doing so with efficiency.  We’d expect nothing less from the guy who hasn’t had a significant win in over three years, and yet has somehow remained relevant.

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Videos: Rodney King’s Next Opponent, Juan Manuel Marquez Drinks Pee + More

Get your tickets, Philly fight fans: The world’s most famous police brutality victim is set to square off against a half-crazy ex-cop. According to Zimbio, reality TV star Rodney King will be involved in a Celebrity Boxing Federation match this Friday night at the Philadelphia Airport Ramada Inn. (Swanky!) His opponent is former police officer Simon "The Renegade" Aouad, whose biggest claim to fame is his celebrity boxing match against Rodney King this Friday. Okay, so the term "celebrity" is being used veeeeeerrrrrrryyyyy loosely here, but the hook behind this matchup doesn’t need to be spelled out. You can get a look at the maniac cop‘s training methods above. The two amateur pugilists appeared on the Howard Stern Show yesterday morning to plug the event. Some highlights:

Simon Aouad claims that he was thrown off the police force because he couldn’t "follow the rules". Howard Stern acted as the de facto Don King, encouraging trash talk between the two Z-list stars. "I’m gonna beat you so bad Rodney, you’re gonna wish you were in LA" said Simon Aouad limply. Simon Aouad currently makes his money running his parents’ pizza business, but also states "I break bones for a living every day." Rodney King seemed unintimidated by Simon Aouad’s threats: "I’ve trained for this for three months," said Rodney King proudly.
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Videos: Mike Goldberg in ‘Legally Blonde’, Mousasi on the Steroid-Donkey + More


(Props: CagePotato reader "David D.")

There are some things in this mad, mad world that we’ll never fully understand. Like, for example, why the movie Legally Blonde had to be adpated into a musical. Or why UFC play-by-play man Mike Goldberg took a singing role in a low-rent production of that musical. Skip to the 1:59 mark of the above video for Goldie’s star turn as the lead character’s argyle-socked father. Seriously, WTF? Did Mike lose a fight-picking bet to Joe Rogan? Does he direct community theatre on the weekends, and did the actor who was actually supposed to play the role call in sick that night? Did Guffman ever show up? We need answers, and the Internet is giving us nothing.

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Videos: “Bully Beatdown” Makes Some Improvements, Belfort Trains For Franklin, + More

 

Okay, so MTV’s "Bully Beatdown" may not be quite as organic as the first season tried to get us to believe, but does it really matter?  Season two seems to have largely done away with the possibly-scripted bully confrontation scene, and replaced it with the one-on-one interview with "Mayhem" Miller, where this particular bully credits his grandmother for having the toughness to endure the Great Depression of the early nineties.  At least we don’t have to worry about him losing any valuable brain cells when former Brett Rogers-victim Jon Murphy goes to wailing on him.

After the jump, Vitor Belfort does a little bullying of his own in the gym, plus a bizarre entrance that Chuck Liddell would probably rather forget.

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‘TUF 10′ Episode 1 Preview: Big Men, Bigger Mouths


(Props: Spike.com.)

With The Ultimate Fighter: Heavyweights kicking off eight days from now, Spike has released this eight-minute taste of the season premiere. As soon as Quinton Jackson and Rashad Evans show up on screen, the jibber-jabbering begins. Evans says that Rampage is too slow, and his big head is too easy a target. Rampage says that Rashad’s last fight proved he has no chin, and he ain’t fought nobody. Then, 15 of the castmembers walk in, and holy crap is Marcus Jones a large man. Dana White comes in to introduce a steely-eyed Kimbo Slice, who seems quite aware of the target on his back. Though Brendan Schaub doesn’t approve of Slice’s presence ("when he walked in, it was kinda like the sheep entering the room with a bunch of wolves"), Rampage claims first-pick dibs on him — and that’s just fine with Rashad. Watch how the team picks play out next Wednesday (9/16) at 10 p.m, directly following UFC Fight Night 19.

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Video: Dan Quinn’s Emotional Farewell to Ross Clifton

As many of you know, gone-before-his-time super-heavyweight Ross Clifton was a friend and training partner to batshit Stevia spokesperson Dan Quinn. We decided to cruise over to Quinn’s YouTube channel to see if he had released a statement about Clifton, and sure enough, there’s this 11-minute missive that he recorded last night. Quinn describes Clifton as an angel who was already penciled in as the Little John to his Robin Hood. Then, he shows us a strange Craigslist w4m ad that he came across, and the even stranger 5,000-word manifesto that he wrote in response. (The best part comes at 5:58: "I’m thinking this is definitely worth the price of admission to a cool coffee place of your choosing. Multiple exits, tons of people, as safe a coffee date as there ever was one." Note to Craigslist surfers: Trying to reassure your prospective hookups that they will definitely not get fritzl’d usually has the opposite effect.) Later, Quinn’s tough-guy facade begins to crack, and he tries to bury the hatchet with arch-nemesis Cal Worsham, and vows to avenge the wife and children of Clifton, should they ever come to harm. Sorry for your loss, Maitreya.

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