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The 10 Fastest & Most Furious Knockouts of All Time: Yamamoto vs. Miyata

Fast & Furious MMA K-1 Heros knockouts fight video Yamamoto Miyata

#2: Norifumi Yamamoto vs. Kazuyuki Miyata @ K-1 Hero’s 5 (5/3/06), 4 seconds

Though the official time of the stoppage was 0:04 into round 1, that seems more like a generous estimate than an exact measurement. Kid Yamamoto takes a Rickey Henderson-style leadoff before the fight even starts, and dives knee-first into the hapless Kazuyuki Miyata’s face. Miyata clearly hadn’t trained for this scenario, but as he’d find out, ducking into the blow is not the most effective defense. The stunning flying-knee KO was Yamamoto’s 11th-straight win, his ninth-straight win by stoppage, and the fastest knockout in MMA history to that point. Unfortunately, his record wouldn’t last long…

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The 10 Worst Commentary Moments in MMA History

#10: Frank Trigg‘s stunned disbelief
Affliction: Banned, 7/19/08

It’s not that Trigg’s reaction when Fedor started landing bombs on Tim was inappropriate; in fact, this was pretty much how we reacted during the fight. But when you’re being paid actual money to give insightful commentary about a sporting event, the viewers at home deserve a little better than "OH! OH-HO! OH-HO! OH-HO-NO-HO! OH!" Especially when you consider that this is a recurring trend with Trigg — when crazy shit goes down, the eloquence-train flies off the tracks, so to speak.

#9: Mike Goldberg tells us how precise Anderson Silva‘s precision is

The answer: Really. It’s really precise. Man, sometimes Mike is better off keeping his mouth shut until it’s time to ask Joe Rogan whether or not a fighter’s arm is in trouble. By the way, if you can watch that video for all ten minutes, we’ll send you a t-shirt.

#8: Kimbo Slice fails third-grade geography 
K-1′s World Grand Prix 2008 Final, 12/6/08

Kimbo Slice City of Japan
(Unfortunately, we couldn’t find a working video of this moment. Hopefully this Esther Lin/Lolcats mashup will be sufficient.)

Okay, give Kimbo a break. The man was extremely jet-lagged, and he clearly meant "the prefecture of Japan known as Kanagawa, which has Yokohama as its capital, where we are right now." It’s not like he asked co-commentator Michael Schiavello what the fuck up with all the Chinese people in the building. That would have been embarrassing. And speaking of which…

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The 10 Fastest & Most Furious Knockouts of All Time: Villasenor vs. Weiss

Fast & Furious MMA knockouts fight video Joey Villasenor Hank Weiss King of the Cage

#3: Joey Villasenor vs. Hank Weiss @ King of the Cage: New Mexico (8/28/04), 5 seconds

We don’t know if Joey Villasenor had been studying tape on Hank Weiss, but Good Lord did Smokin’ Joe have his number. As soon as Weiss makes the grave mistake of dropping his hands while setting up his first attack, Villasenor is right there with the left hook (perfectly directed at Weiss’s knockout button) and the follow-up right straight (which missed, likely saving his life). And just like that, another beautiful one-punch KO was bestowed on the world. Weiss has lost 10 of his last 12 fights, but only one of those losses has been by knockout, so maybe he’s learned his lesson about keeping the mitts up and the chin down.

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“Bully Beatdown” Episode 2: The Redistribution of Wealth

All right, I’m done trying to force myself not to like “Bully Beatdown.”  The moment Michael Westbrook showed up to unleash a whipping on a guy who seems like a genuine jackass, that’s the moment I became a fan.  Not surprisingly, the less scripted “Mayhem” Miller is, the better he gets.  In this one he actually has a little bit of trouble convincing the bully in question to agree to certain doom, but manages to push the guy over the edge when he says, “You got one ball, please tell me you got two.”

Did I mention the bully was holding a basketball at the time?  Because it’s kind of crucial to this particular burn.

Again, this isn’t really MMA, and it probably isn’t especially helpful to the sport’s overall image (though I also can’t see how it’s all that harmful), but dammit, it’s fun. 

(Props: DC Sports Blog, via Cage Writer)

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Videos: Newton vs. Khatib, Manhoef vs. Maeda, Alexander vs. Test Dummy


(Props: Bloody Elbow)

MMA pioneer Carlos Newton returned to the ‘W’ column on Saturday night at the W-1 Inception show in Gatineau, Quebec, snapping a three-fight losing skid with his KO victory over Nabil Khatib. As you can see in the video above, the Gatineau fans are awful, Newton still looks light on his feet, and he can still pound a motherfucker out when need be. Big ups to the Ronin, who increases his career record to 14-13.

Below: The Melvin Manhoef/Keijiro Maeda scrap from the K-1 World GP event in Yokohama on Saturday, in which the usually-sturdy Manhoef got Kimbo Slice’d by a short right hand from the retreating Japanese fighter. Fans have been calling this one suspicious, but it’s more likely that Maeda just found Melvin’s button.


(Props: MMA Scraps)

After the jump: Houston Alexander stops by the Sport Science lab to test the effects of adrenaline on punching power. The verdict? Houston hits like a hammer in his normal state, and puts out a full 1,000 pounds of force after trainer Mick Doyle provokes him into insanity. And that’s before the needles come out…

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Video: Aleks Emelianenko Eats a Right Hand, Dodges a Bullet


(Props: MMA Fanhouse)

As a footnote to his essay about leaving Red Devil and being totally cleared to fight in America, you may recall Aleks Emelianenko making passing mention of a bout against Ibragim Magomedov.  Well, it happened this weekend in Russia, and as you see it probably won’t be on anyone’s Fight of the Year list.

Emelianenko gets rocked by a good right hand at the end of an exchange and is clearly wobbled, but he’s savvy enough to clinch and hold on until he can get his mind unscrambled.  By that time, however, the referee has noticed that Magomedov is cut, and the fight gets stopped before it really had a chance to get going and Aleks is awarded the TKO victory.

A disappointing outcome?  Yeah, but you can’t blame them.  I wouldn’t want to be in there with Aleks if I had an open wound on my face either.  Come on.  We were all thinking it.

Related: Barnett Confronts Aleks, Re: Shit-Talking, Take Two
Sort of Related: Aleks Ponders UFC Offer, New Tattoo

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The 10 Fastest & Most Furious Knockouts of All Time: Gomi vs. Gracie

Fast & Furious MMA knockouts Takanori Gomi Ralph Gracie

#4: Takanori Gomi vs. Ralph Gracie @ PRIDE Bushido 3 (5/23/04), 6 seconds

Known for his very un-Gracie-like hard-charging style, Ralph Gracie racked up five-straight first-round stoppages in vale tudo matches during the ‘90s before re-entering competition in 2003 to test himself against modern mixed martial artists. But his PRIDE debut against Dokonjonosuke Mishima at Bushido 1 didn’t go so well — he only won by decision — and he returned to the ring seven months later ready to murder somebody. And that babyfaced little Japanese dude in the red corner, who Ralph’s student BJ Penn had choked out the year before? Yeah, he’d do. But Gracie was a little too anxious to get out there and kick ass (as evidenced by his refusal to touch gloves), and when he shot in right after the bell, his jaw ricocheted off Gomi’s knee; the Fireball Kid took over from there. This was the fight that officially put Gomi on the map — and served as the final six seconds in Ralph Gracie’s MMA career.

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The 10 Fastest & Most Furious MMA Knockouts of All Time: Goulet vs. Brown

MMA knockout KO video Jonathan Goulet Joey Brown Fast & Furious

#5: Jonathan Goulet vs Joey Brown @ TKO 17 (9/25/04), 7 seconds
He calls himself the Road Warrior, but Jonathan Goulet may as well be nicknamed “The Flash.” Twenty-five of the UFC/TKO veteran’s 32 pro fights have ended in the first round, and six have ended within the first 30 seconds. (Luckily, he’s won most of them.) Goulet’s all-time fastest victory was this seven-second KO against Joey “Knockdown” Brown. All it took was a head kick, a quick Thai clinch, and a knee fired right up the middle, and Brown was in dreamland. The win was Goulet’s fifth in what became a ten-fight win streak, which culminated in him scoring a contract with the UFC, shooting down Jay Hieron in his notoriously bloody Octagon debut, and choking out Shonie Carter back in Canada. As for Brown, he still seemed to be dizzy from Goulet’s knee during his next four fights, losing all of them.

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Video: Remy Bonjasky vs. Alistair Overeem


(Round one.  Rounds two and three are after the jump.)

A monstrous-looking Alistair Overeem lost via decision to K-1′s Remy Bonjasky late last night, much to the delight of the K-1 crowd that was trying their hardest to frame this as a K-1 vs. MMA bout.  Fortunatley for Bonjasky it wasn’t.  Overeem dumped him on the mat several times and would have pounded him out easily if not for that pesky referee stepping in.

Overeem’s bulk did appear to slow him down in the final round, however, and a right hand from Bonjasky put him down and sealed his fate on the judges’ scorecards.  Sorry, Alistair.  Now come back to MMA where you belong.
 

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The 10 Fastest & Most Furious Knockouts of All Time: Irvin vs. Alexander

Fast & Furious MMA knockouts James Irvin Houston Alexander UFC

#6: James Irvin vs. Houston Alexander @ UFC Fight Night 14 (4/2/08), 8 seconds

If you compiled James Irvin’s best and worst moments, you’d probably have the craziest MMA highlight reel ever. After all, this is the guy who took out Terry Martin via flying-knee, fell through the cage against Bobby Southworth, was whipping Thiago Silva’s ass until his knee exploded, and became Anderson Silva’s first light-heavyweight victim. And even with all those wild finishes, the Sandman may be remembered best for the out-of-nowhere knockout victory he scored over poor Houston Alexander at UFC Fight Night 13 last April. Honestly, who leads off a fight with a Superman punch? As crazy as it sounds, that was Irvin’s game-plan from the beginning. It’s hard to predict what he would have done next if Alexander survived that punch. A spinning-backfist, perhaps? A sudden and unexplained case of total paralysis, maybe? You just never know with this guy.

Honorable mentions: Don Frye vs. Thomas Ramirez @ UFC 8 (2/16/96), and Jonathan Goulet vs. Travis Axworthy @ TKO 29 (6/1/07) — which also lasted 8 seconds

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