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The 10 Fastest & Most Furious Knockouts of All Time: Villasenor vs. Weiss

Fast & Furious MMA knockouts fight video Joey Villasenor Hank Weiss King of the Cage

#3: Joey Villasenor vs. Hank Weiss @ King of the Cage: New Mexico (8/28/04), 5 seconds

We don’t know if Joey Villasenor had been studying tape on Hank Weiss, but Good Lord did Smokin’ Joe have his number. As soon as Weiss makes the grave mistake of dropping his hands while setting up his first attack, Villasenor is right there with the left hook (perfectly directed at Weiss’s knockout button) and the follow-up right straight (which missed, likely saving his life). And just like that, another beautiful one-punch KO was bestowed on the world. Weiss has lost 10 of his last 12 fights, but only one of those losses has been by knockout, so maybe he’s learned his lesson about keeping the mitts up and the chin down.

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“Bully Beatdown” Episode 2: The Redistribution of Wealth

All right, I’m done trying to force myself not to like “Bully Beatdown.”  The moment Michael Westbrook showed up to unleash a whipping on a guy who seems like a genuine jackass, that’s the moment I became a fan.  Not surprisingly, the less scripted “Mayhem” Miller is, the better he gets.  In this one he actually has a little bit of trouble convincing the bully in question to agree to certain doom, but manages to push the guy over the edge when he says, “You got one ball, please tell me you got two.”

Did I mention the bully was holding a basketball at the time?  Because it’s kind of crucial to this particular burn.

Again, this isn’t really MMA, and it probably isn’t especially helpful to the sport’s overall image (though I also can’t see how it’s all that harmful), but dammit, it’s fun. 

(Props: DC Sports Blog, via Cage Writer)

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Videos: Newton vs. Khatib, Manhoef vs. Maeda, Alexander vs. Test Dummy


(Props: Bloody Elbow)

MMA pioneer Carlos Newton returned to the ‘W’ column on Saturday night at the W-1 Inception show in Gatineau, Quebec, snapping a three-fight losing skid with his KO victory over Nabil Khatib. As you can see in the video above, the Gatineau fans are awful, Newton still looks light on his feet, and he can still pound a motherfucker out when need be. Big ups to the Ronin, who increases his career record to 14-13.

Below: The Melvin Manhoef/Keijiro Maeda scrap from the K-1 World GP event in Yokohama on Saturday, in which the usually-sturdy Manhoef got Kimbo Slice’d by a short right hand from the retreating Japanese fighter. Fans have been calling this one suspicious, but it’s more likely that Maeda just found Melvin’s button.


(Props: MMA Scraps)

After the jump: Houston Alexander stops by the Sport Science lab to test the effects of adrenaline on punching power. The verdict? Houston hits like a hammer in his normal state, and puts out a full 1,000 pounds of force after trainer Mick Doyle provokes him into insanity. And that’s before the needles come out…

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Video: Aleks Emelianenko Eats a Right Hand, Dodges a Bullet


(Props: MMA Fanhouse)

As a footnote to his essay about leaving Red Devil and being totally cleared to fight in America, you may recall Aleks Emelianenko making passing mention of a bout against Ibragim Magomedov.  Well, it happened this weekend in Russia, and as you see it probably won’t be on anyone’s Fight of the Year list.

Emelianenko gets rocked by a good right hand at the end of an exchange and is clearly wobbled, but he’s savvy enough to clinch and hold on until he can get his mind unscrambled.  By that time, however, the referee has noticed that Magomedov is cut, and the fight gets stopped before it really had a chance to get going and Aleks is awarded the TKO victory.

A disappointing outcome?  Yeah, but you can’t blame them.  I wouldn’t want to be in there with Aleks if I had an open wound on my face either.  Come on.  We were all thinking it.

Related: Barnett Confronts Aleks, Re: Shit-Talking, Take Two
Sort of Related: Aleks Ponders UFC Offer, New Tattoo

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The 10 Fastest & Most Furious Knockouts of All Time: Gomi vs. Gracie

Fast & Furious MMA knockouts Takanori Gomi Ralph Gracie

#4: Takanori Gomi vs. Ralph Gracie @ PRIDE Bushido 3 (5/23/04), 6 seconds

Known for his very un-Gracie-like hard-charging style, Ralph Gracie racked up five-straight first-round stoppages in vale tudo matches during the ‘90s before re-entering competition in 2003 to test himself against modern mixed martial artists. But his PRIDE debut against Dokonjonosuke Mishima at Bushido 1 didn’t go so well — he only won by decision — and he returned to the ring seven months later ready to murder somebody. And that babyfaced little Japanese dude in the red corner, who Ralph’s student BJ Penn had choked out the year before? Yeah, he’d do. But Gracie was a little too anxious to get out there and kick ass (as evidenced by his refusal to touch gloves), and when he shot in right after the bell, his jaw ricocheted off Gomi’s knee; the Fireball Kid took over from there. This was the fight that officially put Gomi on the map — and served as the final six seconds in Ralph Gracie’s MMA career.

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The 10 Fastest & Most Furious MMA Knockouts of All Time: Goulet vs. Brown

MMA knockout KO video Jonathan Goulet Joey Brown Fast & Furious

#5: Jonathan Goulet vs Joey Brown @ TKO 17 (9/25/04), 7 seconds
He calls himself the Road Warrior, but Jonathan Goulet may as well be nicknamed “The Flash.” Twenty-five of the UFC/TKO veteran’s 32 pro fights have ended in the first round, and six have ended within the first 30 seconds. (Luckily, he’s won most of them.) Goulet’s all-time fastest victory was this seven-second KO against Joey “Knockdown” Brown. All it took was a head kick, a quick Thai clinch, and a knee fired right up the middle, and Brown was in dreamland. The win was Goulet’s fifth in what became a ten-fight win streak, which culminated in him scoring a contract with the UFC, shooting down Jay Hieron in his notoriously bloody Octagon debut, and choking out Shonie Carter back in Canada. As for Brown, he still seemed to be dizzy from Goulet’s knee during his next four fights, losing all of them.

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Video: Remy Bonjasky vs. Alistair Overeem


(Round one.  Rounds two and three are after the jump.)

A monstrous-looking Alistair Overeem lost via decision to K-1′s Remy Bonjasky late last night, much to the delight of the K-1 crowd that was trying their hardest to frame this as a K-1 vs. MMA bout.  Fortunatley for Bonjasky it wasn’t.  Overeem dumped him on the mat several times and would have pounded him out easily if not for that pesky referee stepping in.

Overeem’s bulk did appear to slow him down in the final round, however, and a right hand from Bonjasky put him down and sealed his fate on the judges’ scorecards.  Sorry, Alistair.  Now come back to MMA where you belong.
 

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The 10 Fastest & Most Furious Knockouts of All Time: Irvin vs. Alexander

Fast & Furious MMA knockouts James Irvin Houston Alexander UFC

#6: James Irvin vs. Houston Alexander @ UFC Fight Night 14 (4/2/08), 8 seconds

If you compiled James Irvin’s best and worst moments, you’d probably have the craziest MMA highlight reel ever. After all, this is the guy who took out Terry Martin via flying-knee, fell through the cage against Bobby Southworth, was whipping Thiago Silva’s ass until his knee exploded, and became Anderson Silva’s first light-heavyweight victim. And even with all those wild finishes, the Sandman may be remembered best for the out-of-nowhere knockout victory he scored over poor Houston Alexander at UFC Fight Night 13 last April. Honestly, who leads off a fight with a Superman punch? As crazy as it sounds, that was Irvin’s game-plan from the beginning. It’s hard to predict what he would have done next if Alexander survived that punch. A spinning-backfist, perhaps? A sudden and unexplained case of total paralysis, maybe? You just never know with this guy.

Honorable mentions: Don Frye vs. Thomas Ramirez @ UFC 8 (2/16/96), and Jonathan Goulet vs. Travis Axworthy @ TKO 29 (6/1/07) — which also lasted 8 seconds

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Correction: This is the Greatest Knockout Ever

Many of you disagreed with our description of yesterday’s cartwheel kick knockout as “the greatest KO ever.”  Yeah, we weren’t totally serious about that (ever heard of hyberbole?), but our good friend Matt Brown, editor of Fight! Magazine, took issue with it and sent us the above video to demonstrate what a truly amazing knockout looks like.

These two midgets pull out all the stops in this kickboxing bout, and as you can tell the announcer (is that you, Frank Trigg?) is loving it. So is this yet another sign of the impending apocalypse?  Maybe.  But we prefer to think of it as a sign that Matt Brown is a weirdo.  Don’t worry though, he insists that he only stumbled across the video by accident while searching for midget porn.

After the jump, Kimo Leopoldo is out of jail and breaking bricks with his head.  Is that more or less bizarre than the midgets?  You decide.

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The 10 Fastest & Most Furious Knockouts of All Time: Willems vs. Nakila

MMA knockouts Fast & Furious video fight KO

#7: Chris Willems vs. Akoni Nakila @ Rumble on the Rock Beatdown 4 (7/14/07), 9 seconds

What you’re about to witness is the MMA equivalent of a walk-off home run. Chris “Red Bull” Willems gets a leg-kick checked at the start of this fight, but then reloads and goes upstairs — hard. The sound of foot impacting with face can be heard all the way in the cheap seats, and Akoni Nakila is comatose before he even hits the canvas. We’ve seen some gnarly head-kick KOs in our time, but this one is a freakin’ masterpiece; Cro Cop himself couldn’t have painted it better.

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