It’s the start of another month, which means it’s time to check out the latest highlight reel from Facey. The March ’09 edition features Matt Hamill‘s thunderous head-kick KO of Mark Munoz, David Gardner‘s "Hello Japan!" epic fail, Shane Carwin‘s triumph over Gabriel Gonzaga (watch the inset to see proof that Carwin’s victims always fall into an Indian-style sitting position), Jose Aldo‘s latest destruction, King Mo body-slamming another Asian, the Jackson/Jardine war, Mike Brown’s first title defense, and more. Great stuff, as always.
Below:lookoutawhale‘s new installment of the "Riddum Revenge" series, a short but sweet tribute to George St. Pierre’s superman punch.
Nick Diaz participated in yesterday’s Strikeforce conference call and thank God someone was savvy enough to ask him a question about weed and then get out of the way and let him go. There’s nothing quite like a good, completely insane Nick Diaz rant to really make you stop and realize that absolutely everybody, everywhere is on drugs, or else they’re an alcoholic. I didn’t even think about it until Nick said it.
Here are some other nuggets of wisdom to come out of Diaz’s mouth in this one answer to one question about how smoking weed is different than taking pain pills:
– The blood flow stimulated by coughing when you smoke weed might be the healthiest thing you do all day…if you are fat or have cancer. – He’s not a fucking doctor or scientist. – He has a lot of friends who do a lot of drugs. – If you smoke cigarettes, Nick hopes you die of cancer. He really does.
After being called out by GLAAD for his use of the word "faggot" in his rage-filled pre-"Condit vs. Kampmann" rant, Dana White has stepped up with a formal-ish apology (see above), which leads into the fight-night edition of the Danavlog. As soon as he starts with the phrase "anybody who knows me," it’s clear that this might not be the most satisfying mea culpa. But he gives it his best shot, saying he’d never maliciously attack somebody who wasn’t attacking him, and "the last thing that I would ever want anybody to think about me or think is cool is to go out and attack somebody because of their sexual orientation." So, whatever; we’ll see if that smoothes things over. It’s worth noting that he doesn’t include any apology for calling Loretta Hunt a "fuckin’ dumb bitch," though as Kevin Iole points out, it was her own damn fault for getting called a dumb bitch in the first place. Yeesh, talk about blaming the victim.
After the apology, Dana checks in with the event’s fighters and has his requisite dick-punching session with Tiki Ghosn and Rampage. "What the fuck am I going to do with you two," Dana says at the 8:21 mark. "What are you gonna do with these two retards?" Expect an apology to the Special Needs Alliance to come early next week.
Who the hell knows what Yoshihiro Nakao was thinking when he planted a surprise smooch on Heath Herring before their fight at K-1’s 2005 New Year’s Eve show. (Maybe that the Texas Crazy Horse would become blinded by lust, leaving him unable to intelligently defend himself?) Unfortunately, not only is Herring “not gay,” but he resents the implication, and responds by punching Nakao right across his sweet, pillowy lips. Even if the match was ruled a no-contest, it’s still a KO at the 0:00 mark of round 1, earning it an honorary spot on our list of Fast & Furious knockouts. Not since the epic Gracie vs. Howard battle at UFC 3 had there been such a dramatic finish to a fight before it had even technically started. And the nickname “Kiss” still haunts Nakao to this day…
Fight of the Night: Tyson Griffin and Rafael Dos Anjos, as mentioned earlier. Don’t ask us why their sloppy slugfest got the nod over the technical back-and-forth battle of the main event.
Knockout of the Night: Aaron Simpson’s first-round stoppage of Tim McKenzie in the night’s opening bout turned out to be the only TKO on the card, so he scored the bonus by default.
Submission of the Night: Rob Kimmons earned the bump with his first-round guillotine choke victory over Joe Vedepo, which put Vedepo to sleep for the second time in his short UFC career. It was nice knowing you, buddy.
Just two days after Norifumi Yamamoto thrilled a Tokyo crowd with his four-second flying-knee KO against Kazuyuki Miyata, an eerily similar knockout took place in Montreal. Except this time, it was the dude sprinting across the ring who got himself KTFO — and in only three seconds, making this the fastest MMA knockout ever. We can only assume that Lautaro Tucas watched the Yamamoto/Miyata fight and thought, “Hey, I bet I could do that too.” But Chris Clements saw it coming, and stepped in with a sledgehammer right hook just as Tucas was leaving the ground. Tucas’s lifeless body flopped into the ropes, upon which Clements slugged him in the head three times. Awesome. Fun fact: Tucas never fought again after that night. We’re not sure if that’s because he switched to a less painful profession, or because he committed seppuku to make up for the shame he caused his family, but either way, it had to be done.
Ho. Lee. Shit. Dana White is upset with Sherdog’s Loretta Hunt. Like, really upset. So much so that he spends the final three minutes of his Fight Night 18 video blog bashing her with language that would make Nixon blush. Not that it’s surprising to hear the UFC prez throw around a handful of f-bombs (though it’s kind of funny since he just warned tonight’s fighters against swearing on Spike TV), but to hear him call a female reporter a bitch…wow. If his mother is anything like mine, there’s going to be a very stern voicemail message on his phone tonight.
I don’t know if all this means we should pay more attention to the allegations in the article (made by anonymous sources, who are apparently pussies for not wanting to bring the Danawrath upon themselves) or less, but either way it’s kind of a bizarre accomplishment to get your name mentioned so much in one of D.W.’s video blogs. Kind of like getting punked in a Jay-Z song. At least people know who you are afterwards, right Prodigy?
We haven’t thought much about bare-knuckle backyard brawlin’ since Kimbo Slice stepped up to the big leagues. Yet the Miami yard-fighting scene appears to be flourishing, with a new ringleader named DADA. Above is the trailer for Dawg Fights, a documentary from the creators of Cocaine Cowboys that takes a look at unregulated ghetto-vale-tudo. Aside from one rear-naked-choke attempt, you’re not going to find much technique in the fight clips, but it’s not really about that. Can wild haymakers in a 12-foot-square ring heal a hurting nation?
Below: In part two of "The Year of the Mo," Muhammed Lawal explains that his fighting urge comes primarily from a childhood that one could politely describe as "shitty." Lawal, now 4-0 in Sengoku, will unfortunately be out of action for about three months while he rehabs a torn ACL.
Though the official time of the stoppage was 0:04 into round 1, that seems more like a generous estimate than an exact measurement. Kid Yamamoto takes a Rickey Henderson-style leadoff before the fight even starts, and dives knee-first into the hapless Kazuyuki Miyata’s face. Miyata clearly hadn’t trained for this scenario, but as he’d find out, ducking into the blow is not the most effective defense. The stunning flying-knee KO was Yamamoto’s 11th-straight win, his ninth-straight win by stoppage, and the fastest knockout in MMA history to that point. Unfortunately, his record wouldn’t last long…
#10: Frank Trigg‘s stunned disbelief Affliction: Banned, 7/19/08
It’s not that Trigg’s reaction when Fedor started landing bombs on Tim was inappropriate; in fact, this was pretty much how we reacted during the fight. But when you’re being paid actual money to give insightful commentary about a sporting event, the viewers at home deserve a little better than "OH! OH-HO! OH-HO! OH-HO-NO-HO! OH!" Especially when you consider that this is a recurring trend with Trigg — when crazy shit goes down, the eloquence-train flies off the tracks, so to speak.
The answer: Really. It’s really precise. Man, sometimes Mike is better off keeping his mouth shut until it’s time to ask Joe Rogan whether or not a fighter’s arm is in trouble. By the way, if you can watch that video for all ten minutes, we’ll send you a t-shirt.
#8: Kimbo Slice fails third-grade geography K-1′s World Grand Prix 2008 Final, 12/6/08
(Unfortunately, we couldn’t find a working video of this moment. Hopefully this Esther Lin/Lolcats mashup will be sufficient.)
Okay, give Kimbo a break. The man was extremely jet-lagged, and he clearly meant "the prefecture of Japan known as Kanagawa, which has Yokohama as its capital, where we are right now." It’s not like he asked co-commentator Michael Schiavello what the fuck up with all the Chinese people in the building. That would have been embarrassing. And speaking of which…