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21 Humans Who Make Being Human Look Really, Really Hard

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[VIDEO] This “Worst Stoppages in MMA” Supercut Portrays the *Real* Agony of Being an MMA Fan (or Fighter)

Much like that of a police officer, an intern, or a mid-level MMA blogger, the job of an MMA referee is an oft thankless one, rife with controversy and Internet comments from anonymous people claiming that they could do it better than you (that last part may be a bit specific). But after watching this supercut of “The Worst Stoppages in MMA” compiled by TapNapSnap, you might begin to understand why most fight fans hold MMA referees second only to MMA judges on the list of incompetent fuck-ups who are ruining the sport. Truly a life of never-ending agony and disappointment, that of the MMA fan.

Whether it’s horrifyingly late stoppages like Marius Zaromskis vs. Andrey Koreshkov, “virgin on prom night”-premature stoppages like Aaron Riley vs. Shane Nelson 1, or just plain bizarre stoppages and stand-ups that have occurred over the years in Bellator, Strikeforce, and the UFC (among several smaller promotions), this video is sure to remove any traces of empathy you had left for MMA referees, and in fact, it might send you into a blind rage that ends with the mass killing of anyone wearing a vertically striped shirt. We will not be held liable, in any case.

So take a few deep breaths and check out the 30-minute supercut above, then watch this gif of Daniel Gallemore vs. Fredrick Brown from Bellator 113 and completely lose your sh*t again. Fair warning.

-J. Jones

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‘The Greatest MMA Fight of All Time’ Tournament Is Coming Soon: Which of These Classic Battles Deserves a Spot in the Bracket?


(As always, “WAR WAND! PRIDE NEVA DIE!” is an acceptable write-in vote.)

Peep this, Potato Nation — in honor of March Madness, we’re putting together a big bracketology feature on the best fights in MMA history, with your votes determining the #1 Greatest MMA Fight of All Time. (Launch date: TBA…but pretty soon!) I’m looking forward to it, and you should too.

The only problem is, our interactive bracket only has space for 16 entries, which means that a bunch of classic MMA matches won’t be included. I can’t reveal the bracket yet, but I can reveal the ten honorable mentions that are all competing for the last spot. Check ‘em out below, and click those links for video clips of each one.

Kazushi Sakuraba vs. Carlos Newton
PRIDE 3, 6/24/98

Matt Hughes vs. BJ Penn 2
UFC 63, 9/23/06

Dan Henderson vs. Wanderlei Silva 2
PRIDE 33, 2/24/07

Chuck Liddell vs. Wanderlei Silva
UFC 79, 12/29/07

Anthony Pettis vs. Benson Henderson 1
WEC 53, 12/16/10

Frankie Edgar vs. Gray Maynard 2
UFC 125, 1/1/11

Cheick Kongo vs. Pat Barry
UFC on Versus 4, 6/26/11

Wanderlei Silva vs. Brian Stann
UFC on FUEL 8, 3/3/13

Gilbert Melendez vs. Diego Sanchez
UFC 166, 10/19/13

Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva vs. Mark Hunt
UFC Fight Night 33, 12/7/13

After the jump, you will find a voting widget. Cast your vote on which of the above fights is most worthy of a place in the bracket, and that fight will earn the sixteenth spot. Votes must be in by Thursday morning at 9 a.m. ET.

Make sense? If not, please drop us a line in the comments section or on Twitter. Now get to voting…

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Knockout of the Night: Nicolas Dalby Makes Sergei Churilov Do the “No Bones Dance” at Cage Warriors 66

Although Rolles Gracie’s “Flair Flop” at WSOF 5 will forever be immortalized as the greatest involuntary reaction to a KO of all time (with Kaleo Gambill’s post-fight beat-off being the clear but distant runner-up), we’ll be damned if Sergei Churilov didn’t give him a run for his money at Cage Warriors 66 last weekend.

In a fight for the promotion’s vacant welterweight title, Nicolas Dalby and Churilov engaged in a back-and-forth slugfest that ranked among the best of the year. Churilov was getting the better of the exchanges until midway through the fourth round, when Dalby unleashed a head kick that had the Ukrainian doing the “No Bones Dance” across the ring (or “Gumbying” as the kids I just made up are calling it).

A few follow-up punches were all that Dalby needed to walk away with the welterweight title in hand, and while he may have gotten the victory, it is Churilov who will surely get the last laugh when his post-KO dance is celebrated in gif form for years to come. I mean, just look at those moves!

The man is clearly a big Kevin Bacon fan is all I’m saying.

-J. Jones

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VIDEO: Pat Barry Returns to Kickboxing, Knocks Out Ed Burris at CSC 39


(Props: instagram.com/hypeordie)

Former UFC heavyweight Pat Barry made his return to kickboxing last night, knocking out opponent Ed Burris at CSC 39: USA vs. the World, which took place at the Arthur Ashe Athletic Center in Richmond, Virginia.

Since this 15-second Instagram clip is all we have to work with, we have no idea if the fight was even remotely competitive, or if Burris just covered up the whole time, waiting for the inevitable. (We’ll update this post if/when a full video of the match surfaces.) At any rate, Barry picks up some valuable ring-time and confidence heading into his GLORY debut against Zack Mwekassa, May 3rd in Broomfield, Colorado.

Well done, HD.

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Martial Arts Fail of the Week: Defeating Boxers is THIS Easy

It’s Saturday! Do you know what that means? A day off from the drudgery of office life in middle class America? A lackluster UFC card with a $60 price tag? Unfit for television jobber matches on UFC fight pass? None of these. Saturday means CagePotato’s Martial Arts Fail of the Week!

Last time, we had a bona fide ninja (or as bona fide as a ninja can be) teach us one of Ninjitsu’s most esoteric guard passes. This week, however, we’re revisiting an old friend—Master Wong, of “don’t poke him in the eye or he’ll kill your whole family” fame.

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[VIDEO] The Jaw-Shattering KO From ‘TUF Nations’ That Has Everybody Some People Talking

You know, it’d be easy to make fun of TUF Nations for being possibly the least watched show in the history of ever, so much so that the “Episodes” section of its Wikipedia page hasn’t been updated in over a month*, but ripping on an international season of The Ultimate Fighter nowadays is too easy, even for us. And hey, if not for TUF Nations, we would have never witnessed the absolutely hellacious KO that happened during this week’s welterweight semifinal match between Chad Laprise and Kajan Johnson.

The entire fight has been made available through The Ultimate Fighter’s Youtube channel, but skip to 9:50 mark to see what may be the most brutal knockout in (international) TUF History. After engaging in a fairly standard kickboxing affair for the majority of two rounds, Johnson and Laprise throw simultaneous haymakers with bad intentions written all over them (think the ending of Rocky III). It is Laprise who lands, however, with a punch so perfectly placed that it not only sends Johnson crashing headfirst to the mat, but shatters his jaw into what I can only assume is a million pieces.

Matt Riddle vs. Dan Simmler may have had the more horrific aftermath, but as far as pure brutality goes, I’d give it Laprise vs. Johnson every time. You don’t even have to see the punch to know how hard it landed, for Christ’s sake. The Grujic Era Laprise Era is coming, folks.

*First you snub Ilir Latifi and now this? CURSE YOU WIKIPEDIA!!!

-J. Jones

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Wednesday Afternoon Link Dump: Chael Sonnen’s Brazilian Vacation Home, Pat Barry’s GLORY Debut Set for May 3rd, Depressing Maury Povich Screen-Caps + More


(Chael Sonnen shows off the palatial estate that the UFC has set him up with for ‘TUF Brazil’, while his wife cooks dinner. Remember honey, he likes it medium rare. / Video via UFC)

Former World Champion Boxer Holly Holm Nears UFC Deal, Rousey Fight Looms (BleacherReport)

Newly-Signed UFC fighter Steve Bosse Retires (MMAFighting)

GLORY 16: Pat Barry vs Zack Mwekassa Booked for May 3 in Denver on Spike TV (MMAMania)

Dude Slaps His Wife in Public, Gets Knocked the F*ck Out (DrunkenStepfather)

‘Happy Gilmore’ Has Finally Received The 8-Bit Video Game Treatment (Filmdrunk)

WATCH: A Supercut of Christopher Walken Dancing in His Movies (PopHangover)

The 8 Types of Laughter and What They Mean (EveryJoe)

First Pro Athlete Revealed on Lindsay Lohan’s Sex-Conquest List (TerezOwens)

18 Japanese Movie Posters That Were Lost in Translation (Guyism)

The 20 Best Breakfast Cereals of All Time (HiConsumption)

Inexplicable Video of the Day: “Satanic Puberty” (HolyTaco)

23 Morbidly Depressing Maury Screen-Caps (BREAK)

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Classic Fight: Dan Henderson vs. Mauricio “Shogun” Rua at UFC 139 [VIDEO]


(Video is after the jump.)

This Sunday at UFC Fight Night 38 in Brazil, Dan Henderson and Mauricio Rua will meet in a rematch of one of the greatest fights in UFC history. Their first bout went down back in November 2011 at UFC 139, and featured five rounds of mutual abuse that was more like a two-man demolition derby than a professional MMA fight. In the end, Hendo earned a unanimous decision with 48-47 scores from all three judges — although it would have been a different story if the fight was scored under Stockton Rules.

It might be overly optimistic to think that these two living legends could produce a sequel that rivals their first meeting, especially when you consider that Hendo is now 43 years old, has gone winless since the first Shogun fight, and may already be considering the end of his career. The only thing Sunday’s fight will determine is which guy gets to keep plugging away a little longer. To call it “the most anticipated rematch in UFC history” is laughably inaccurate.

Still, if you’ve been a fan of Henderson and Shogun’s long, decorated careers — and if you consider yourself an MMA fan, it’s pretty likely that you idolized at least one of these guys at some point — it’s not a bad free fight for a Sunday evening. Check out their epic first match below and shoot us your predictions for Shogun vs. Henderson 2 in the comments section.

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Head Kick Knockout of the Day: Drew Fickett Gets Smoked by Luis Felix at CES MMA 22


(Props: fightstreamcom)

We wish we could say that Drew Fickett turned his career around when he found sobriety — that he became a terror on the regional circuit, and will be returning to the UFC any day now. Unfortunately, that doesn’t seem to be in the cards. Fickett suffered his fourth-straight loss at CES MMA 22 in Rhode Island on Friday night, eating a brutal head kick from local lightweight Luis Felix that dropped Fickett like a sack of doorknobs.

It was the kind of knockout that makes you think, okay, maybe now is the time for Drew to walk away. It’s not just that he’s already racked up a solid history of brain trauma. At this point, Fickett is only being used as a recognizable stepping-stone for regional talent, and the sole benefit for him being there is a modest paycheck. And if you watch the entire fight — where Fickett seems like he’s still trying to figure out the standup game, despite having over 60 pro fights to his credit — it’s clear that what Luis Felix did to him is just going to keep happening to Fickett if he keeps competing.

Anyway, kudos to this Luis Felix guy. But damn…anybody else get a case of the sads watching Fickett get dummied up like this?

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Is This “One-Second Knockout” Really the Fastest Knockout in MMA History? [VIDEO]


(Props: Ultimate Challenge MMA)

On Saturday night at WCMMA 14 in London, welterweight Mike Garret knocked out Sam Heron with a savage head kick immediately after the opening bell. Promoter Dave O’Donnell — who you may remember from the “Completely Insane British Guy Interviews Anderson Silva” video — called it a “new world record” at 1.7 seconds. In the longer video above, a timecode runs in the bottom-right-hand corner of the screen, stopping at 1.13 seconds, which would be incredible if it was an accurate reflection of when the fight ended. But it’s not, really.

That 1.13 number refers to the time between the first bell and the time when Garret’s foot makes contact with Heron’s face. Unfortunately, that’s not the official end of the match. An MMA fight ends at the moment when the referee waves it off or intervenes. So yes, Heron gets his lights turned out just a little over one second into the fight, and Garret walks away, signaling that the fight is over for him at least. The problem is, the referee takes a couple of additional seconds to walk over to Heron, assess his condition, and wave off the fight. Later in the video, O’Donnell rounds down and calls it a “one-second” knockout. Then he has a conversation with Garret, and honestly, I couldn’t understand most of it.

Personally, I’m seeing three seconds and change, which would put it in line with Clements vs. Tucas. (And this one still looks faster.) But if self-promotion is your goal, “one-second knockout” certainly sounds nicer.

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