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ICYMI: Mayura “The Karate Clerk” Dissanayake Scored an 18-Second KO Over the Weekend

Back in July, we brought you the news (and video footage) of Houston gas station attendant/MMA fighter Mayura Dissanayake thwarting a robbery via a hellstorm of soccer kicks. The video was cathartic, uplifting, and kewl, and soon garnered more Youtube views than “Bully Beatdown Jason ‘Mayhem’ Miller vs Bully Andrew”, which is an impressive accomplishment by *any* standard.

On Saturday night, Dissanayake stepped out from behind the counter and back into the ring at Savarese Promotion’s hybrid MMA and muay Thai card in Houston, taking on Jaime Garcia in an amatuer contest. Once again, Dissanayake delivered a lightning fast, supremely violent finish, peppering Garcia with a few leg kicks before clipping him with a left hand as he was charging forward in typically amateurish fashion.

A few follow up punches and it was good night Garcia, who at the very least, should find some comfort in the fact that he didn’t wake up from his beating in a jail cell. #thelittlethings

After the jump: The original video of Dissanayake’s act of gas station heroism, because why the f*ck not.

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VIDEO: Watch a 15 Year-Old Michael Bisping Compete In Britain’s First “No Holds Barred” Match

If there are two things we know about Michael Bisping, it’s that dude loves to fight and dude is an asshole more often than not. His fourth round TKO of Cung Le over the weekend marked Bisping’s 21st appearance in the UFC, tying him with Diego Sanchez for the most fights of a TUF winner in the promotion’s history. The lead-up to that fight was classic Bisping as well, with “the Count” ferociously trash-talking Le while simultaneously calling him “a phony”, self-awareness be damned.

Bisping’s gameness is undeniable, but the question now becomes: Has Bisping always been a dick, or has he developed his dickishness over the course of his UFC career as a way of marketing himself?

Well, if this video of a 15 year-old Bisping fighting in Britain’s first “No Holds Barred” match is to be believed, I’d have to assume it’s the former.

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Knockout of the Year Candidate: Christine Stanley’s Five-Second Jumping Hook-Kick KO



(Props: Josh Lonero, MMA – Mixed Martial Arts)

On Saturday night at XFS Tidal Wave in Valley Center, California, strawweight prospect Christine Stanley scored the greatest knockout we’ve seen all year, and arguably the most impressive knockout in women’s MMA history. Basically, what Stanley did to opponent Katie Anita Runyan was like Uriah Hall vs. Adam Cella, but in mid-air, and with the very first strike she threw.

Stanley’s jumping spinning hook-kick KO was officially recorded at five seconds, though it seemed closer to four by our count. At any rate, it’s amazing, and you should watch it immediately. Special appearance by The Great One!

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Martial Arts Fail of the Week: “Slap Jitsu” Made Us Laugh Harder Than Any Previous Martial Arts Fail Video


(We lost it at about 0:06)

This might actually be the dumbest thing we’ve ever seen on our Martial Arts Fail of the Week segment.

I know we say that a lot, but we’ve never actually laughed harder at a martial arts video. Watching a fat kid running forwards at full speed while moving his hands like he was trying to juggle the air itself had us in tears.

We couldn’t really find out a whole lot about these guys. The first time we watched the video (which was sent to us on Twitter, by the way) we actually thought it was a parody. We couldn’t believe people actually trained in this stuff and thought it was legit. Then we remembered Balinese White Magic, Ashida Kim, and Bo Fung Do. So yeah, it’s probably safe to say this isn’t some kind of parody of ridiculous martial arts videos and that the people in the video believe in what they’re doing.

We tried to figure out who these guys are. Check out the results after the jump.

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TIL That War Machine Once Abandoned Ken Shamrock’s 17 Year Old Daughter in Mexico [VIDEO]

Leave it to Ken Shamrock to add a whole ‘nother chapter to the increasingly morbid saga that is the life of Jon “War Machine” Koppenhaver.

Koppenhaver, who was captured by US Marshals last week while hiding out in Simi Valley, California, has something of a history of violence and general sketchiness when it comes to women, you see. He’s been arrested what feels like a dozen times now for starting bar brawls, crashing a porn star’s birthday party (with his fists), and most recently, brutalizing girlfriend Christy Mack in particularly heinous fashion. He will more than likely assault a fellow inmate and/or have sex with deli meat within the following weeks, and is overall just a terrible, terrible human being who deserves none of our sympathy.

But what I (and therefore you Taters) have been wondering in these troubling times is: What does Ken Shamrock have to say about all this?

Well, strap in brothers and sisters, because shit’s about to get weird…

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Video of the Day: Rogan and Goldberg Commentate EA UFC Glitches, Part 2!


(Props: TommyToeHold)

After racking up over a million views with the first installment, TommyToeHold is back with another hysterical batch of EA Sports UFC glitches, as commentated by (fake) Joe Rogan and Mike Goldberg. Much respect to Tommy for putting out a sequel that’s just as funny as the original. My four favorite lines, taken completely out of context:

“Very Grudge-like, Joe.”

“Reminds me of a young Babalu.” “No he doesn’t, Mike.”

“Mike, there’s a bigfoot, he’s being strangled, Mike.”

“I have to think this is going the distance, aaaand he’s dead.”

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Let’s Celebrate Matt Serra’s Upcoming FOX Analyst Gig By Looking Back at Some of His Most Quotable Moments

Gentlemen, rejoice, because everyone’s favorite ball-bustin’, cold cut connoisseur just landed himself a FOX analyst gig! HeeYEEAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!

During last night’s edition of UFC on FOX, it was announced that none other than Long Island’s own Matt Serra (and also Jake Ellenberger) will be serving as a guest analyst for this Saturday’s Fight Night 49: Henderson vs. dos Anjos card. Finally, the era of awkward on-camera fighters stuttering out base-level advice between fights will be over, as the former welterweight champion and TUF 4 alum has become somewhat infamous for his jabberjaw skills. We can only hope now that FOX doesn’t force him to pull in the reigns (or pull out his teeth).

To celebrate what will surely be the funniest night in UFC on FOX history, join us after the jump as we look back at some of “The Terra’s” finest moments.

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Gross Video of the Day: Bas Rutten Sews Own Leg Up After Non-Alcoholic Beer Mishap


(Props: OfficialBasRutten)

Bas Rutten has been in a reflective mood lately. In addition to posting a bunch of his old Pancrase fights to his YouTube channel, Rutten also re-uploaded a classic home surgery video that all strong-stomached El Guapo fans need to see.

In 2008 (or so), Rutten accidentally broke a six-pack of non-alcoholic beer, which somehow blasted a shard of glass through his jeans and into his leg. With his wife traveling in Holland, there was nobody around to demand that he go to the hospital, so he stitched up his own gaping wound with an ordinary sewing needle and some household thread.

“I think you should just get it professionally done, dad,” his daughter says, “because you never know, like, what if something bad happens?” Her advice falls on deaf ears; Rutten saw this done in a Rambo movie, and that’s good enough for him. Eventually, Bas’s daughters get bored of the totally insane thing that is happening in front of them and start playing with the dog.

Anyway, good God this is nasty — and apparently performed with no other anesthetic than a belly full of O’Doul’s. Incredible.

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Jon Jones Hung Out With Brock Lesnar and Mike Tyson This Weekend, WHAT DID YOU DO??

Careful Mike, the man just had surgery! Also, this:

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‘Big Knockout Boxing’ — The Latest Evolution in Pit-Fighting, Or Something [VIDEOS]


(Props: HIVETV)

BKB is designed for fight fans who crave action, intensity, and most of all — big knockouts. Fights are furiously fast with up to 7 two-minute rounds. There’s no time for hugging or dancing. In BKB, it’s fight or lose.”

That’s the sales pitch on the official site of Big Knockout Boxing, a variation on the Queensbury Rules that has fighters square off in a circular pit with an inclined edge. The purpose of the non-traditional surface is to force the fighters to engage, and if this whole thing sounds a little familiar, it’s because YAMMA tried to do the exact same thing for the MMA world in 2008.

Oddly enough, BKB might not be the embarrassing one-and-done sideshow that YAMMA was. While several of the YAMMA competitors responded to the shortened rounds and tournament format by laying-and-praying their way to victory, Big Knockout Boxing delivered pretty much what it promised during its debut event in Las Vegas on Saturday, with four of the eight bouts ending by KO/TKO.

According to this preview feature on ESPN — which tells you a little more about the ruleset, if you’re interested — none of the BKB fights will count on the fighters’ official boxing record. Also: “BKB put on a pair of events last year in New Hampshire, but then BKB stood for “Bare Knuckle Boxing” and fighters used smaller gloves with a portion of the padding removed from the area over the knuckles. But to gain a license in Nevada, that had to go and the name was changed.”

So here’s the main event of BKB 1, a middleweight title fight between Bryan Vera and Gabriel Rosado, which Rosado won by ref’s stoppage in round 6. After the jump: The BKB welterweight title fight between Javier Garcia and Darnell Jiles. Check ‘em out and let us know what you think: Is boxing better in a bowl? Is “Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots, but with humans” a positive development in combat sports or not?

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