We may be only a few months into 2013, but the list of potential Potato Award recipients is quickly filling up like it’s going out of style. We already have a strong frontrunner for “Flop of the Year” in Nick “Turbo Tax” Capes, and just last week, we introduced the greatest knockout of the year, “The Skywalker Crotchcracker” (a.k.a The Spinning Harold Howard, The McSleepytime Falcon Roundhouse, or The Over-the-Shoulder-Boulder-Holder).
And although the fight in which Olivier Fontaine was able to pull of this absolutely insane flying armbar actually went down in early February, the video of said armbar has only recently started making its way around the MMA blogosphere. We’ve thrown a full video of the fight above, but skip to the 1:28 mark to see just what we’re talking about.
So goes the latest Danavlog (seen above), in which The Baldfather grants us behind-the-scenes access to the one day off he gets each year. And oddly enough, DW doesn’t spend it getting a mani-pedi and eating veal that was killed in front of him like most of his fellow 1%ers. Instead, he spends it at his house in Maine with a few of his closest buddies, completing the redneck superfecta of hot sauce challenges, goat milking, skeet shooting, and hitting 125 mph on his dirt bike. Seriously, if White did all of this while slugging down Labbatt Blues, chain smoking cowboy killers, and demanding that Barack Obama show us his damn birth certificate already, I’d be convinced that we were born in the same town.
Then again, this is the same millionaire who willingly throws himself into mosh pits when he’s not cussing out members of the MMA media, so perhaps we should stop acting surprised when DW continuously defies our expectations for how the President of a major sports organization should act. Party on, Dana. Party on.
Last night’s installment of The Ultimate Fighter: Team Jones vs. Team Sonnen featured the season’s first two quarterfinal matchups along with some celebrity guest-appearances. Check out the complete video above, or read our recap below if you don’t have the patience for that sort of thing…
- After making into the quarterfinals with his wild card win over Kevin Casey, Bubba McDaniel admits that he doesn’t want to face Uriah Hall because he’s still haunted by Hall’s incredible knockout of Adam Cella. He’ll have to get comfortable with the matchup real quick, since they’re facing each other in the next episode. Coach Jones does his best to build up McDaniel’s confidence, but Bubba looks like a man facing the firing squad. I’ll go out on a limb and say that this little storyline ends with a nervous breakdown and a trip to the hospital.
- The first quarterfinal match will be Kelvin Gastelum (Team Sonnen) vs. Collin Hart (Team Jones). Jones thinks Hart’s jiu-jitsu is “extraordinary,” which will be their key to victory. Though Gastelum has a reputation as a wrestler, Sonnen sees him more as a brawler. But in a good way.
- Coach Sonnen makes good on his promise to give Kelvin seven minutes alone in a closet with Ronda Rousey. Nah. Actually, the UFC women’s bantamweight champ drops by to shake Kelvin’s hand and teach the boys some judo. “It was pretty awesome, you know, getting handled by her [nervous laughter],” Kelvin says. Ronda also drops some nuggets from her own fighting philosophy: “Fighting is about respect, and having respect for your opponent, but at the same time you have to have no respect for your opponent, ’cause you’re the one that’s supposed to walk out of there. They don’t have the right to beat you.”
(It was later revealed that Mazzagatti had been planning to kill Fitch for years and was simply waiting for the right moment to pounce. Photo via Tracy Lee at Yahoo Sports.)
It’s been a pretty slow couple of days in the MMA world, Potato Nation. How should you know this? Because the news that’s being dropped off on our (imaginary) desks by our (imaginary) bosses is some bullshit about a fitting issue at WSoF 2 that resulted in Andrei Arlovski wearing those UFC gloves….
In the first round, Spong was content to take the lengthy Bonjasky’s legs out from under him with a series of punishing low kicks. Luckily, judges in the kickboxing world view leg kicks as something other than an annoyance, so Spong was awarded the round unanimously. The second round was an entirely different story, however, as both men opted to throw the kitchen sink at one another until one of them fell over. That man was Bonjasky, who crumbled to the mat following a vicious right hook by Spong. And just like that, it was good night my anus Irene, and another win for Spong over one of kickboxing’s greatest fighters.
We’ve thrown a full video of the fight above, so check it out if you get your jollies watching legends fall from grace. I’m going to go have a good cry.
Upon doing a little research, we have discovered that longtime MMA announcer Michael “Good Night Irene” Schiavello is from some place called Australia. Awwstraileeyah. We’ve never heard of it either, but what you should know is that folks who hail from this…AUSTRALIA, tend to have funny-sounding voices. Not funny in a German nihilist kind of way, but funny nonetheless. At last Friday’s RFA 7 event, we found out that Schiavello’s accent becomes particularly amusing when attempting to pronounce the name of young fighter Danny Mainus.
You see, Mainus sounds a bit like “my anus,” you dig? It’s a fact that becomes quite humorous when Schiavello says things like “There’s a cut on Mainus,” or “Mainus is ready to pounce here.” And while this kind of humor might not be up your alley if you have moved on from the 8th grade, well, you’re probably not in our target audience anyway. So check out the video above and rate it on a comedic scale of Zookeeper to The Big Lebowski in the comments section, with Zookeeper obviously being on the upper end of the spectrum. When Kevin James started talking to that monkey, you guys, I totally roflcoptered. I roflcoptered all over myself.
Now piss off, because I need to finish writing this note to pass to Patty Nelson in chemistry class (more like phlegmistry class, amiright? *receives high fives from everyone at the cool kids lunch table*) to see if she’ll go with me to the Spring semi-formal. If she denies me, I’ll just tell Tony T and Space Face Mike that she has herpes anyway.
Last night’s edition of ESPN’s Sportscenter featured a segment titled “Garrett’s Fight,” about a 23-year-old man with Down syndrome named Garrett Holeve who has transformed his life through MMA. After being introduced to the sport by his father, Holeve committed himself to training at American Top Team, which has become a supportive second-family to him. The segment follows “G-Money” as he prepares for his first amateur fight against “Monster” Mike Wilson, who makes good on his promise to show Holeve what a real punch feels like. Through three tough rounds, Garrett doesn’t quit, and comes out the other side an even stronger person.
For me, the most touching part of the segment is the end, which shows Garrett now working as an instructor at an ATT affiliate that his father purchased, teaching MMA to children and another man with Down syndrome. “Them look up to me as a hero, or as a super man,” Garrett says. “Because them need a super hero.” (Damn…is somebody chopping onions in here?)
But look, we’re not talking about a kid with Down syndrome getting passed a basketball to take a shot during a middle-school game. MMA is a sport where people can get badly injured, and Garrett’s story is inherently controversial. As Garrett’s father puts it, “I’ve had family members that just said to me that I’m crazy. They’ve lost respect for me as a parent from the fact that I’m allowing this to happen.” Meanwhile, Zach Arnold at Fight Opinion sees this as just the latest in a long line of questionable decisions by Florida’s athletic commission As Arnold writes:
I’ve always assumed that I wasn’t the target audience for Miller Lite commercials seeing as though I’ve found most of them over the years insipid and dull – too much corn ball, too little actual funny. Plus, there’s always the typical, “this beer magically makes every situation better,” idea presented that insults your intelligence.
This morning, however, I finally found a beer commercial that I actually enjoyed (other than the World’s Most Interesting Man ones, of course). Turns out the secret ingredient for this fight fan to get down with a commercial is Chuck Liddell. I mean, the above commercial is most certainly corny and stupid but, dang it, I chuckled out loud watching Chuck Liddell get his friends the royal treatment while out on the town simply by his presence.
We’re not sure if we’re meant to understand Liddell’s special treatment as people being afraid of him or their simply recognizing him as rich and famous. Either way, Liddell manages to score brews, restaurant seats, primo sporting event seats and dolphin rides for his crew. His acting is also getting better as he looked like he really was having a good time partying with bros.
Either that or “The Iceman” didn’t know he was in a commercial and just thought it was another typical day in his VP life.
Apologies in advance for dropping the ball on last week’s episode of The Ultimate Fighter: Jones vs. Sonnen, which we completely forgot to recap for reasons that are not immediately obvious (if only we could get Danga to set down the bong for like thirty seconds…). Long story short: Chael Sonnen emerged victorious from a Coaches Challenge that involved stacking tires with excavators (?) and Team Jones’ Dylan Andrews secured a spot in the quarterfinals with a majority decision victory over Zak Cummings. For this week’s “Wild Card” matchup, Team Jones’ Bubba McDaniel and Team Sonnen’s Kevin Casey were selected.
To find out which fighter secured the final spot in the TUF 17 bracket, as well as the rest of last night’s highlights, join us after the jump.