MMA Fighter Challenges People to Punch Him in the Face, Everyone Fails

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Martial Arts Fail of the Week: Defeat Attackers By Staring At Them and Stop Swords With Your Mind

Another weekend means another Martial Arts Fail of the Week!

Today we have a Bullshido master who’s EVEN WORSE than the Finnish chi master who telepathically subdued his foes.

His name is Masanori Abe, and his powers are so lethal he can drop you to the canvas with just a stare! Watch the above video for proof.

This guy is also a master swordsman–and not through years of training and lightning-quick reflexes, but through magic. In the below video, watch him stop his opponent’s training swords through pure mental fortitude. Check it out after the jump.

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LookOutaWhale’s Latest Creation Gives the Diaz-Riggs Hospital Brawl the Animated Treatment It Deserves

We all know the story of Nick Diaz‘s barnyard hospital brawl with Joe Riggs following their legal, in-ring brawl at UFC 57, but the real question is: Have we ever seen it set to wonky animation and with actual interview clips taken from Riggs and Diaz? Until now, that answer has been a dispiriting “no,” but thankfully, MMAnimation master lookoutawhale has bequeathed us with “The Animated Tales of Nick Diaz”, and my God is it glorious.

While “Diesel” may have come away the unanimous decision win at UFC 57, it was Diaz who won the “real” war. That’s according to Diaz himself, of course, but I’ll be a monkey’s uncle if the anti-bullshit superhero would embellish even the slightest detail of a story as infamous as this. Although if you ask me, Stockton’s finest should be thanking his lucky stars that Riggs wasn’t packing heat that night. Or maybe Riggs should be.

Check out “The Animated Tales of Nick Diaz” above, then let us know if you think Diaz’s undeniable realness will help him fare any better against Anderson Silva in January.

-J. Jones

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Start Your Day With This Inspirational Message From Jon Jones…


(via Instagram.com/jonnybones)

Inspirational for him, I mean — not so much for you or anybody else.

Related:

- Jon Jones just picked up a nasty gash in training…
- …and Daniel Cormier promises to put his elbows on it.

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Throwback Thursday: Mark Schultz Grinds Out Gary Goodridge at UFC 9


(Mark Schultz vs. Gary Goodridge, UFC 9, 5/17/96)

For most old-school UFC fans, the name UFC 9: Motor City Madness conjures up bad memories of “the Dance in Detroit” — an excruciatingly boring 30-minute headlining match between Ken Shamrock and Dan Severn. (“Fans pelted the ring with garbage after Severn won a split decision in overtime.”) It wasn’t all Dan and Ken’s fault, though; due to a court ruling, fighters at UFC 9 were forbidden from using closed-fisted strikes — a rule that some of the participants broke without repercussions.

But while the UFC 9 main event was completely forgettable, one of its supporting bouts remains a part of combat-sports mythology: The unexpected appearance of Olympic gold medalist Mark Schultz, and his sole MMA fight against Gary Goodridge.

We’ve already told you about Schultz’s backstory — his incredible success in freestyle wrestling, his gold medal at the 1984 Olympics in Los Angeles, and the murder of his older brother Dave Schultz, which forms the basis for the upcoming movie Foxcatcher. So how did Mark wind up in the cage that night in May 1996?

Sometime after the UFC’s debut in 1993, Schultz became interested in the new sport and began studying jiu-jitsu under Pedro Sauer in Utah. By 1996, Schultz was working with Canadian UFC old-schooler Dave Beneteau, helping to prepare Beneteau for a slated bout against Gary Goodridge at UFC 9. Less than a month before the event, Beneteau broke his hand. Figuring he could compete despite the injury, Beneteau decided to train through it — but plans changed at the last minute. Here’s what happened, according to a profile on Schultz that was published after the event:

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Calcio Storico (aka Italian Prison Riot Rugby) Is Probably Not the Next Big Thing in Combat Sports


(Props: dbettazzi)

I don’t exactly know what I’m looking at here. Elias sent me this video today, and the best I can describe it is “Riot breaks out during a shirts vs. skins game of either rugby or capture the flag at a Renaissance Fair held at an Italian prison.”

Watch this video for five minutes and try to figure out the rules of the game. There are at least 50 players on the field at any given time, with players drifting in and out seemingly at random. The referees are the guys in the colorful shirts, I think. The object of the game is to take the ball into the end zone, like a normal sport, but — in a hilariously ghetto twist — there are no end zone markings or goal posts to speak of. You just throw the ball against the fence when you’ve made it all the way without being knocked out.

After some googling, I’ve learned that the video shows a game of calcio storico (“historic football”) or calcio fiorentino, a game that dates back to 16th century Italy. Here are some amazing facts from the wikipedia page:

- “In 1574 Henry III of France attended a game of “bridge fighting” put on in his honor during a visit to Venice; the king is recorded as saying: “Too small to be a real war and too cruel to be a game.” Man, that is just classic Henry III of France.

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My God, Spike TV’s “Gym Rescue” Looks F*cking Atrocious


(Jon Taffer did it so, so much better.)

You could probably guess that Spike TV’s upcoming gym rescue series (I believe it’s called, uh, Gym Rescue) starring Randy Couture and Frank Shamrock would not fall into the category of what we call “compelling television.” It’s a reality show, for starters, and one starring former MMA fighters that is attempting to piggyback off the success of Bar Rescue, another Spike TV reality show that is itself a ripoff of shows like Restaurant Impossible and countless others (all due respect to Jon Taffer, #buttfunnel).

What you might not have guessed, however, was that Gym Rescue would be an absolute dumpster fire of epic proportions and quite possibly the nadir of television programming as we know it. Don’t believe me? Check out the sneak peak of Gym Rescue that awaits you after the jump and tell me I’m wrong. Keep in mind that the footage you are about to witness is what the makers of Gym Rescue thought might entice on-the-fence viewers into watching their show, not B-roll that should have been left on the cutting room floor.

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If You Need a Laugh, Here’s Ralek Gracie Arguing That Steroids Don’t Enhance Performance in Jiu-Jitsu


(Props: AXS TV via BloodyElbow)

In light of his high-profile career-ending PED bust, you might be surprised to learn that Chael Sonnen is still headlining the Metamoris 4 grappling tournament against Andre Galvao, August 9th in Los Angeles. I mean, doesn’t Metamoris test for steroids and EPO and all that other crap that Sonnen had floating around in his system? No, actually they don’t. In a statement released earlier this month, Metamoris promoter Ralek Gracie said the following:

“[W]e don’t currently test for PED’s and we are not an MMA organization. Metamoris is a grappling event with different rules and we require our own unique set of regulations for all aspects of participation.

“We are concerned about the issue of PED’s overall but we have a lot of research and work to do before accurately defining our stance. Due to the instability and controversy surrounding the regulation of PED’s we are taking our time to discover the best approach and fit for our organization.

“Lastly, for the people who understand the level of opposition Chael is facing at Metamoris 4, his use of any supplement or drug is not likely to provide any advantage whatsoever.”

Yes, I’m sure Metamoris has its best scientists working around-the-clock to determine whether steroids give an athlete a competitive advantage or not. (Spoiler alert: They do, and we figured that out decades ago.) Plus, for anybody who thinks that Sonnen’s PED-use shouldn’t matter in this case because he’s already at an enormous talent-disadvantage against Andre Galvao, allow me to blow your minds: What if Galvao is using PEDs too? Remember, Metamoris isn’t testing any of its fighters, so there’s nothing preventing the entire lineup from juicing.

Honestly, Ralek Gracie should just stop talking about this subject, because it’s only going to draw negative attention to his operation. Instead, he went on Inside MMA to further explain why steroid use isn’t such a big deal in jiu-jitsu competition. I mean, what are steroids, anyway? Does anybody really know? Here’s what he told Kenny and Bas:

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Feel-Good Video of the Day: MMA Fighter/Gas Station Clerk Destroys Robbers With Soccer Kicks


Badass Store Clerk Who Saved His Coworker Is Actually A Champion MMA Fighter

Videos of would-be robbers getting their asses kicked by MMA fighters at gas stations are nothing new around here. But of all the “mma fighter foils robbery” videos in the “gas station” sub-category, this new one from Houston might be our favorite, and it’s for one simple reason: PRIDE rules.

When a truck full of marauders sets upon a Fuel Depot employee returning from a bank run, the victim’s co-worker — Sri Lankan MMA champ Mayura Dissanayake — springs into action, and scores two immediate knockdowns with a brutal head kick and a barrage of punches. Momentum has shifted, and things only get worse for the robbers from there.

As the bad guys scramble to get back into the getaway SUV, Dissanayake lands a hook on a hapless crook named Odell Mathis, who falls to the concrete. As Mathis’s ride pulls away, Dissanayake lands four clean soccer-kicks to his dome, starts to walk off, then changes his mind and kicks Mathis in the face two more times. Street justice has been served, homey.

“I just kicked him until he lays down on the floor,” Dissanayake said. “Until he stopped moving, ’cause I wasn’t sure if he had a knife or a gun, so I wanted him to stop moving.”

Serious question: Is this just a viral ad for the long-delayed season of TUF India? Because you have to assume that Mayura Dissanayake would be the front-runner at this point.

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UFC on FOX 12 Weigh-In Results: Matt Brown Misses Weight, Avoids Punishment Because of ‘Miscommunication’


(Props: UFC on YouTube)

UFC on FOX 12 weigh-ins went down earlier today in San Jose, and no, they did not proceed without incident. Most notably, Matt Brown came in way heavy on his first attempt, tipping the scales at 172.5 pounds for his welterweight headliner against Robbie Lawler. Usually, a fighter in his position would grit his teeth and go back to the sauna for an hour. But due to a weird miscommunication, that didn’t happen. FOX Sports’s Marc Raimondi has the report:

[After missing weight], Brown was advised by a commission doctor that he should not continue to cut weight. By rule, a fighter has another hour to try to make weight. Brown thought the doctor was telling him he would not be allowed to weigh in again, according to CSAC executive officer Andy Foster.

“There’s a difference between advisement from a doctor and a directive by a doctor,” Foster told FOX Sports.

When a fighter misses weight in California, he or she must forfeit 20 percent of his or her purse, 10 percent to the commission and 10 percent to the opponent. After a discussion between the UFC and commission officials, the CSAC decided not to fine Brown.

“We were just looking after his health and safety, but I was going to let him on [the scale again],” Foster said. “I was going to give him his time. Chalk it up to miscommunication.”

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Before You Leave the Office Today, Watch Matt Brown Knock Out Mike Pyle in 29 Seconds [VIDEO]


(Props: UFC on YouTube)

Related: Matt Brown and Erick Silva brawl til’ they fall, and Robbie Lawler kicks Bobby Voelker’s damn head off

The fights are tomorrow, dudes. Come back to CagePotato.com at 8 p.m. ET / 5 p.m. PT for our liveblog of the UFC on FOX 12 main card. Have a great weekend!

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