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Chael Sonnen Completes First Step to Becoming President of the United States

 
(Sonnen vows to "bring taxes down, and lay on top of them until my term ends.")

While some fighters can’t even be bothered to show up for practice more than four times in a given week, Chael Sonnen is trying to secure a spot in the Oregon House of Representatives, in the same year that he’s preparing for the biggest fight of his life. On Tuesday, the UFC’s #1 middleweight contender claimed a "landslide" victory in the Republican Party primaries for Oregon’s 37th District, picking up 99.13% of the vote. We should probably mention that Sonnen ran unopposed, and the remaining 0.87% percent of the vote was made up of write-in ballots, most of which probably went to Anderson Silva. But still, Chael’s got momentum on his side. You can learn more about his platform at VoteSonnen.com, where he’s described as a "successful realtor and vice president of Caged Promotions, a sports and music promotion and production company." Sonnen’s main gig as one of MMA’s most insane heels is mentioned nowhere on the site.


On November 2nd, Sonnen will throw down in the general election against Democratic nominee Will Rasmussen, who actually had to beat somebody to win his primary. The election will come about three months after Sonnen’s scheduled title fight with Silva at UFC 117, which means Sonnen could either be champion of the world or dead at that point, depending on how much effort the Spider puts into the matchup.

In 2008, Sonnen’s Team Quest homeboy Matt Lindland also ran for the Oregon House of Representatives. "The Law" defeated fellow Republican Phyllis Thiemann in the primary, but lost to Democrat Suzanne VanOrman in the general election, despite his incredibly persuasive TV ads. Not that political contests should be promoted like MMA fights and pro-wrestling matches, but there’s an obvious "avenge my master" angle that Oregon could really be playing up right now. MAKE IT HAPPEN, DAVE.

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Charming Charlie- May 20, 2010 at 1:54 pm
If you can't separate fight-hype from real beliefs then Brock Lesnar is for you!
agentsmith- May 20, 2010 at 7:08 am
@ MediumRare:

I was gonna say switch Don Frye in for Couture for Homeland Security, but Vice Prez works too. Can't wait to hear Frye refer to their Democrat opponent as having "a head that looks like a 5-gallon bucket full of smashed buttholes."
Ratel- May 20, 2010 at 3:47 am
I think that once Silva's people remind him that Sonnen is running for a spot in the House of Reps, one of the following will happen:
a) Silva practically lays down for Sonnen, thus giving him the championship and propelling him into the stratosphere of political popularity. As the MMA community pauses for a moment of stunned disbelief, America realizes too late that Silva has sealed the (doomed) fate of the United States by allowing the Sonnen political Steamroller a chance to gain momentum for the next federal election.
b) Silva walks to the center of the cage when the fight begins and pulls a Terminator move by punching Sonnen one time, so hard that his fist comes out the back of Chael's head. He extracts his fist and is on a plane back to Brazil before authorities can muckle on to him for manslaughter.
b-1) if option b comes to pass, that will settle the best pound for pound fighter debate until either Fedor outgrapples a rhino or GSP finally masters the Hadouken blow.
whitey- May 19, 2010 at 10:53 pm
my dad always said that you vote for the man, not the party. if i lived there i would vote for him.
noizy- May 19, 2010 at 2:54 pm
Anderson Silva for President
macreadysshack- May 19, 2010 at 2:48 pm
BTW, this article was a funny breath of good ole Cagepotato fresh air . . .
macreadysshack- May 19, 2010 at 2:46 pm
I think I have to keep Chael's fighter persona completely seperate from the Chael I've talked to. He is SUCH an ass in interveiws. He does it in an awesome way that really pisses people off - I'm all for it. It doesn't jive with the dude I've chatted with, tho. So, basically, he's two different people for me.

For the record, I thought Marquardt would destroy Sonnen AND I think Silva will destroy Sonnen. I actually don't really care who wins. I want to see at least one more Goddamned competetive A Silva fight in my lifetime - hell, I'll even settle for one measly round! That's all I ask. Is that so wroooong?!?
justscrappin- May 19, 2010 at 2:35 pm
I'm from the east coast...so all this is strange and foreign to me. The reservations here finally started having regional shows. As far as Sonnen being mma's super heel....it's fun for the whole family...as long as they are white trash like me...j/k.
macreadysshack- May 19, 2010 at 2:17 pm
Both Chael and Lindland are awesome guys to talk to. Lindland's a damn good coach, too. His wrestling for MMA coaching is spot on. Just avoid rolling with him. He takes it easy on NOBODY.

I'll probably see you bastards at Rumble at the Roseland and we won't even know it.
Mr_Misanthropy- May 19, 2010 at 2:11 pm
I used to live in Portland a while ago. I have several friends who are good friends of Chael's. I'm sure he's a stand up guy. I miss the strippers.
RPS13- May 19, 2010 at 2:00 pm
how awesome would that have been if the write-in's for anderson silva beat out sonnen. someone would have to call anderson up and tell him he is now the republican primary for oregon's 37th district. hahaha
PortlandMMA- May 19, 2010 at 1:54 pm
@ Mr Misanthropy I will readily admit Rumble at the Roseland is bad ass, there are like 3 of them coming up here pretty soon. You are obviously from the area, are you from Portland too? I respect Sonnen and Lindland for what they've done for MMA in Oregon but I'm not so sure about them in politics as a whole. I will also admit Lindland is one of the nicest guys you could ever talk to in the sport, never met Chael though. My fiance used to work with one of his friends a while back and he said he is nothing like how is interviews come across.
Mr_Misanthropy- May 19, 2010 at 1:40 pm
@ P-townMMA

You gotta admit though, for sloppy amateur fights "Rumble at the Roseland" was a good place to get drunk every now and again.

*edit*

For those of you not from P-town, Rumble at the Roseland was a show Chael promoted for many years that hosted amateur fights. He went head to head with the Oregon state boxing commission trying to get it sanctioned for professional bouts but they weren't down because he had the matches in a cage. When Sportfight started they learned from his example and held their matches in a ring so the commission sanctioned them for pro bouts. I do respect Chael for trying for a long time to help legitimize the sport in its early-ish days. He's a guy that walks the walk, even if he listens to country music.
BONGTAR- May 19, 2010 at 1:32 pm
@ viva.... good form.
ReX13- May 19, 2010 at 1:20 pm
MedRare>> Truth. How anyone could exclude the predator is beyond me.
MediumRare- May 19, 2010 at 1:13 pm
@ ReX13

Wow. Great minds think alike. Don Frye FTW!
Viva Hate- May 19, 2010 at 1:13 pm
I believe the proper pick to RUN for Vice President is Kailb Starnes.

Get it? WOCKA WOCKA.
PortlandMMA- May 19, 2010 at 1:13 pm
Chael running is a fucking joke, he wants to be in the House of Representatives to "focus on protecting schools and other critical services while creating jobs and bringing more economic security to Oregon families" and at the same time he said that fighting will come first. That makes a state of 75% Democrats feel all warm and fuzzy. Meanwhile he is going against a lawyer who is endorsed by nearly every single person and organization in the state.
MediumRare- May 19, 2010 at 1:11 pm
@ Viva

I noticed you didn't name the vice president.

I'm sure that's because it's a motherfuckin given that it would be Don Frye.

I'm gonna go see if the domain "SonnenFrye2016.com" is available.
ctownhood- May 19, 2010 at 1:11 pm
I wonder if John McCain will speak out against his GOP pal Sonnen for participating in "human cock fighting"?
ReX13- May 19, 2010 at 1:09 pm
Viva Hate>> War Machine can NOT serve as Secretary of both DoD and DoJ. Give one to Don Frye. And are Scott Coker and Ron Foster sharing a seat? tsk tsk. i expect better, sir.


(Ok, +1 for the lulz)
nicey- May 19, 2010 at 1:08 pm
this guy is hilarious and made about 91% of the people who commented on the interview look like complete toolbags.
wifey- May 19, 2010 at 12:59 pm
@viva: fucking brilliant! I especially appreciate the subltety of Nick Diaz's position.

well done.
Mr_Misanthropy- May 19, 2010 at 12:55 pm
@ Viva Odio

I say, good play sir, good play.
Viva Hate- May 19, 2010 at 12:54 pm
I have developed an updated cabinet for President Sonnen

Department of the Treasury-Ken Shamrock
Department of Justice- War Machine
Department of Education- Dan Quinn
Office of Management and Budget- Scott Coker
Department of Commerce- Dana White
Department of Energy-Phil Baroni
Department of Homeland Security-"Captain America" Randy Couture
Department of Health and Human Services-Karo Parisyan
Office of Management and Budget-Ron Foster
Environmental Protection Agency-Deigo Sanchez
Department of Defense-War Machine(dual role)
Department of Housing and Urban Development-Kimbo Slice
Department of Agriculture-Nick Diaz
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