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21 Humans Who Make Being Human Look Really, Really Hard

Chael Sonnen Not Advertising His MMA Credentials in Oregon Statehouse Bid

Chael Sonnen State Representative website
(He’s got all the vague platitudes you want, but as soon as you ask about specific policy proposals suddenly it’s ‘Se habla español.’)

You know what’s fun about Chael Sonnen’s website promoting his run for Oregon State Representative? For one, there’s a picture of him forcing himself to smile, and another of him having a serious conversation over coffee with a woman who may or may not be a constituent. For another, when you click the “Priorities” tab to see what Sonnen stands for as a politician, you see only a single sentence telling you to “Check back in the coming weeks” to find out what he’s all about. But what’s most interesting is that, if you didn’t already know it, you’d have no idea that Sonnen is a professional fighter. None.

His website describes him as “a successful realtor and vice president of Caged Promotions, a sports and music production and promotion company,” and touts his wrestling credentials both at the University of Oregon (where he earned a degree in Sociology, the hippie) and as an alternate on the U.S. Olympic squad. It even mentions his volunteer work with a local youth wrestling program, and yet nowhere does it reference the UFC, MMA in general, or any kind of fighting career whatsoever.


So why would a guy who’s the current number one middleweight contender in the UFC, much to Ed Soares’s dismay, not acknowledge that he makes a living beating up other people in a cage on TV? Probably because he remembers when his bro-4-life Matt Lindland ran for the House District 52 seat and was attacked by opponent (and eventual winner) Suzanne Van Orman for being a well-paid “cage fighter.” Bragging about your MMA career may impress teenage boys and chicks named Jade, but it doesn’t necessarily go over well with voters, particularly if you can’t really articulate much of a platform.

But let’s be real here. Just because Sonnen doesn’t bring it up, that doesn’t mean he can really hope to keep voters in the dark about where he goes on Saturday nights, especially not if he shows up to debates looking like he just got a cut-rate lobotomy.  If anything, purposely not mentioning is the best way to make it seem like something he’s ashamed of, which makes it an easy target for his opponents. Hell, a simple Google search will reveal photos and videos of him pummeling other men for money, as well as interviews where he talks all manner of trash on other fighters.

Face it Chael, this information is going to come out. But look on the bright side.  As secrets in politics go, at least it’s far more awesome than making a sex tape with a pregnant woman who is not your cancer-stricken wife or possessing a brain stuffed with hay and oily rags.

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ReX13- February 11, 2010 at 7:32 am
rlh61>> Yes, i'd pay good money to hear his speech about terrorism:

So, these guys put, i don't know, fuckin' [checks notes] PETN in their carry-on, y'know? And they tried to blow up a plane. Now, we had a motherfucker on that plane, guy's name is [checks notes] Drew Fickett, he was a sky marshal or some shit, and Fickett fuckin knocked the dude the fuck out and took his little bitchass PTL bomb and shoved it up his fuckin ass.
I told President Sonnen that we need to blow his shit up, y'know? Just, y'know, detonate his PNT shit. But, i don't know if that's gonna happen, y'know, we're talking bout it. Some science bitches are saying something about this PECT shit being unpredictable or something, i don't know, like it's dangerous--whatever, man, fuck. We'll figure it out. But i don't want this to keep people from flying, y'know? We've got this shit, nahmean? So to all of my fellow Americans considering-- travel plans to Abu Dhabi or whatever: don't be scared, homies.
Mescan_Judo- February 10, 2010 at 11:47 pm
To quote the funny Michael Schiavello.

"That smile would make a stripper nervous"
Dubbayoo- February 10, 2010 at 9:38 pm
Randy Pan. He's not publicly omitting anything. It's somewhat documented. Maybe there should be more blood on that collared shirt? And it's a safe assumption that his opponent might hear about his part=time UFC hobby. He's obviously more than just an MMA fighter... And he's dedicating his website to those things, cuz where else are you gonna hear about it? I don't see how people don't seem to get that he's not JUST a mixed martial artist. He seems to see a difference between being an MMA title contender who's running for office, and a guy who's running for office, who is ALSO an MMA title contender. Will it get him into office? I don't know, and I really don't care.
Clinch-Smash- February 10, 2010 at 9:32 pm
I can just hear him when it comes out to every one "is you is or is you aint my constituent's", then a little "man of constant sorrow" and we all dance with Papy O'Daniel.
Randy Pan- February 10, 2010 at 8:54 pm
@Dubbayoo:
"He's not trying to hide anything. He's keeping them separate. He's a very smart guy. "

He talks about being involved in politics to his mma-based audience, but he won't even mention being involved in mma with his constituents. He uses mma to advertise himself politically, but then publicly omits any association he has with mma. He's not keeping the two separate. He's going after the support of both mma-fans and people who despise mma. He's a cynical opportunist; he'll make a perfect politician.

There are a lot of funny comments this week.
semi-trained- February 10, 2010 at 5:36 pm
1. Re: Sonnen: dude fights way better than he smiles. That smile is, at best, a failed grimace.

2. Re: MMA government: Nick Diaz could run the BATF. Expect anger and fisticuffs, however, when he realizes it's not a convenience store.

3. Re: Ads: My degree is not in marketing, but you have ads for Cage Potato ('visit the site!') on...Cage Potato. Hope you didn't pay too much for 'em.
Tai-Pan- February 10, 2010 at 3:56 pm
@Viva Hate
About Arriany as ambassador to the U.N. Iran thats who.

@bens
Remind me again who the fuck is governor of California again? Chael doesn't look so stupid now does he...
for the love of mma- February 10, 2010 at 3:22 pm
i think sonnen is great for the sport and will bring over a better class of customers for the ufc! lets face it chuck isnt the greatest spokes model for the ufc!!
rlh61- February 10, 2010 at 2:41 pm
ReX13

Oh, Nick Diaz would make a great White House Press Secretary. Have you seen that mofo give an interview??

"Um, like, you know...I just woke up and they told me about this press conference...so, whatever...fuck it, don't be scared homies."
doctorfunk- February 10, 2010 at 2:23 pm
I hearrrrd that
LastEmperor- February 10, 2010 at 1:53 pm
The Spider will ruin him anyway, might as well have something to fall back on.
GroundFighterMMA- February 10, 2010 at 1:29 pm
The trash talking has helped a lot with his political slander.
ReX13- February 10, 2010 at 12:59 pm
Damn. I lost track of the pop culture references.

So this is what it feels like being that old, out-of-touch guy.
agentsmith- February 10, 2010 at 12:30 pm
Truth, I can already hear him yelling "FRANKS AND BEANS!"
Harry Nips- February 10, 2010 at 12:28 pm
@ agentsmith- Sims ain't that rotund but i'm sure he can nail the retard part.
ReX13- February 10, 2010 at 12:25 pm
agentsmith Says:
Wed, 02/10/2010 - 14:03
When you think about it, Sonnen's fighting style is perfectly suited to politics... he gets in there and looks like he's working pretty hard for the entire allotted term, but somehow fails to get anything done.



(Last week, the comments were not so good. This week, the Bens have too many candidates to choose from. )

+1
CamBammer85- February 10, 2010 at 12:25 pm
He isn't hiding anything about being a fighter.....look at that fist he is making!! I am looking forward to seeing him loose both his next fight and this attempt at political office.

Silva 10-0 in the ufc....Chael 4-3.......
CheckHisPee- February 10, 2010 at 12:24 pm
@roms15-- Simple solution guy: go to a site that you respect more.

For my part CP, I am enthralled and fucking ecstatic over each and every article you put up. The more the merrier, I say. If the article is truly engrossing and/or relevant, great, then we (the CP Nation) can engage in some meaningful and thought-provoking discussion. If the article is fluff and/or possibly a little slanted/biased then we have some great cannon fodder and potential comedic gold. I can't speak for everybody, but to me that's win/win.
agentsmith- February 10, 2010 at 12:24 pm
I thought of Wes Sims too, but even now he's not THAT rotund.
Harry Nips- February 10, 2010 at 12:20 pm
@ agentsmith- Possibly Wes Sims for the fat & retarded brother.
parchy mcthirst- February 10, 2010 at 12:15 pm
Even as an aspiring politician, Chael Sonnen is still trolling
parchy mcthirst- February 10, 2010 at 12:13 pm
Chael Sonnnen is similar to the typical high school satanic poser. They seemingly embrace all the features of their devil worship, yet you will catch them singing church hymnals at chapel during school. Come on Chael, we know you don't sincerely stand anywhere in your political campaign, you poser, just stick to MMA
ReX13- February 10, 2010 at 12:09 pm
rlh61 & Viva Hate

I was thinking Matt highes as more of the FFA type. Nick Diaz for drug czar.
Wrye Bash- February 10, 2010 at 12:04 pm
You guys. [x
Wrye Bash- February 10, 2010 at 12:04 pm
I notice he quickly got up that "donate generously" link. I know what his priorities are, even if he doesn't want to talk about it.
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