(He’s got all the vague platitudes you want, but as soon as you ask about specific policy proposals suddenly it’s ‘Se habla español.’)

You know what’s fun about Chael Sonnen’s website promoting his run for Oregon State Representative? For one, there’s a picture of him forcing himself to smile, and another of him having a serious conversation over coffee with a woman who may or may not be a constituent. For another, when you click the “Priorities” tab to see what Sonnen stands for as a politician, you see only a single sentence telling you to “Check back in the coming weeks” to find out what he’s all about. But what’s most interesting is that, if you didn’t already know it, you’d have no idea that Sonnen is a professional fighter. None.

His website describes him as “a successful realtor and vice president of Caged Promotions, a sports and music production and promotion company,” and touts his wrestling credentials both at the University of Oregon (where he earned a degree in Sociology, the hippie) and as an alternate on the U.S. Olympic squad. It even mentions his volunteer work with a local youth wrestling program, and yet nowhere does it reference the UFC, MMA in general, or any kind of fighting career whatsoever.

So why would a guy who’s the current number one middleweight contender in the UFC, much to Ed Soares’s dismay, not acknowledge that he makes a living beating up other people in a cage on TV? Probably because he remembers when his bro-4-life Matt Lindland ran for the House District 52 seat and was attacked by opponent (and eventual winner) Suzanne Van Orman for being a well-paid “cage fighter.” Bragging about your MMA career may impress teenage boys and chicks named Jade, but it doesn’t necessarily go over well with voters, particularly if you can’t really articulate much of a platform.

But let’s be real here. Just because Sonnen doesn’t bring it up, that doesn’t mean he can really hope to keep voters in the dark about where he goes on Saturday nights, especially not if he shows up to debates looking like he just got a cut-rate lobotomy.  If anything, purposely not mentioning is the best way to make it seem like something he’s ashamed of, which makes it an easy target for his opponents. Hell, a simple Google search will reveal photos and videos of him pummeling other men for money, as well as interviews where he talks all manner of trash on other fighters.

Face it Chael, this information is going to come out. But look on the bright side.  As secrets in politics go, at least it’s far more awesome than making a sex tape with a pregnant woman who is not your cancer-stricken wife or possessing a brain stuffed with hay and oily rags.