MMA Fighter Challenges People to Punch Him in the Face, Everyone Fails

Chael Sonnen Pleads Guilty to Money Laundering, Faces Up to 20 Years in Jail and $500,000 Fine


("Didn’t you listen in the meeting, Woogy? You don’t say ‘pyramid scheme,’ you call it a ‘real estate development opportunity.’"

Just three days into 2011 and the year is already turning out to be much worse than the last for Chael Sonnen.

The suspended UFC middleweight who is also a licensed realtor in West Linn, Oregon pled guilty of money laundering Monday in federal court.

According to the Lake Oswego Review, a U.S. Department of Justice press release sent out today states that that Sonnen "conducted a financial transaction designed to hide or disguise the ownership and control of proceeds of mortgage fraud." 

You might recall that Sonnen bowed out of the race for Oregon senate house seat in June because of "a legal matter that demanded attention," — the same legal matter that Chael told HDNet’s Mike Straka that he was too busy with to deal with preparations for his CSAC hearing in December himself. Now we can understand why it took precedence over having his fighting license reinstated.

Money laundering in the U.S. carries a maximum penalty of 20 years in federal prison as well as a $500,000 fine.

His sentencing is scheduled for 11:30 a.m. March 28, which explains why he stated during his MMA Live appearance last week that he wants to fight as soon as he can when his suspension is up on March 1. He’ll likely need the money.


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MonsterMaulingAss- January 4, 2011 at 2:11 pm
And the universe unfolds as it should
cscmemorabilia- January 4, 2011 at 11:54 am
Sonnen is the new, cleaner and more intelligent "War Machine." LOL!
KarmaAteMyCat- January 4, 2011 at 9:34 am
Republicans? I'm not a Republican I just know who currently holds the most responsibility for a large amount of the National Debt. I understand facts and read a lot more then just what MSNBC,CNN and Fox news put on the TV for us to watch. Chael Sonnen is going to get a slap on the wrist this isn't Enron, Bp, or one of our many retarded car companies that pretend to know how to run their own budget and year round fiscal responsibilities. Sonnen will walk without jail time just sit back eat your squirrel jerky and enjoy the Circus that is how to ensue.
MentalyptiC- January 4, 2011 at 8:24 am
lol pwnd
newdeal- January 4, 2011 at 4:49 am
at least anderson didn't kick his ass. He may be seen as a tough guy and fewer people will try to ass rape him (yes I said fewer lol). I am sure he won't get the max since he plead guilty but he is still looking at jail time I am sure
Enricho Palazzo- January 4, 2011 at 4:21 am
In related news, what was originally believed to be a 1.5 earthquake in São Paulo, Brazil was really just Anderson Silva letting out a huge sigh of relief.
fatbellyfrank- January 4, 2011 at 3:54 am
@ charmingcharlie, Sonnen's still a cunt
Charming Charlie- January 4, 2011 at 3:42 am
After reading a little more about the scheme (I'd link but CP has onerous comment linking policies), the loan company getting screwed was Decision One Mortgage. Decision One was one subprime mortgage lender of HSBC Finance, in turn a subsidary of HSBC (Hongkong and Shanghai Banking Corporation) one of the largest international banks in the world ("international bank" may be redundant in 2011, I'm not certain). HSBC Finance is the name change of Household International, which is a google shitstorm of predatory lending complaints nationwide.

1. Maybe the Fertitas are indeed one of HSBC's 100,000,000 customers. I haven't been in a Nevada casino longer than it took to determine the difference between a slot and an escort, but perhaps they use their financial services for the gambling equivalent of a Best Buy Card. Therefore they might be real pissed. But probably not. Everything is a subsidiary of some larger corporation, international, or conglomerate, and every member of the wealthiest 2% is deeply invested in a couple of those. I'd imagine it's pretty hard to do any kind of fraud these days without it being connected to a Fertita, in a six degrees of Kevin Bacon sort of way.

2. I guess the Sonnen spin will be that he was defrauding a predatory lender, so it was kind of like Robin Hood stealing from the corrupt and giving to his moms. She's a plumber afterall. Again though, this is risky, because defrauding a subprime lender is kind of like scaring someone with a heart condition. The person is going to die of a heart attack eventually, as when the subprime bubble burst, but for god sakes you're not helping, asshole.

P.S. Subprime lending does not equal predatory lending as far as I know, but the majority of the watchdog sites referencing state prosecution of Household International seem to conflate the two in their bulletins. Granted, most of them are dated 2001-2005.
vaicavalo- January 4, 2011 at 3:19 am
the next TUF could be on jail

Team Sonnen x Team WarMachine
we could divide them in ethnical teams like gays x nazis or mexicans x blacks, just to create some rivalry, a REAL rivalry, not a Rampage-Evans rivalry
Charming Charlie- January 4, 2011 at 3:00 am
I couldn't think of anything funny to say, so this instead:

Chael will probably remain silent on the matter until after his sentencing. He wouldn't want to create any more publicity on the matter than there already is. He's already popular, and while interest in him is largely polarizing, not even WWE heels commit mortgage fraud. He can't really stand to gain, especially as this puts the UFC a little bit in a bad position. Leben's DUIs are routine and expected, but the UFC would face added pressure if their fighters attempted rape in their marijuana grow operations like Mike Whitehead, generalized gang rape like Joe Son, or defrauded investors like Chael Sonnen. Then again, BJ Penn was fined and put on probation in 2007 for assault of a police officer, and I doubt anyone remembers that. So if he stays quiet his career in the UFC is probably okay, because the Fertitas don't have their money in predatory lenders. That's for the middle class.

But if he does speak before then, it will undoubtedly be a piece of public relations, attempting to infuence his sentencing. Something penitent like "rules are made to be followed. I broke the rules and deserve to be punished. My wrongdoing was not done out of malice but out of {reality technicality}. I'm sorry for anyone who was harmed by the deal." But since he already has a plea bargin I don't see this statement coming. And come April, I'm not sure he'll have much to say about it either.

*shrugs*

Wait for the tell-all book upon his retirement in 2015. At least we can expect to have him around in the sport longer now that his political career is permanently over.
Almost North- January 4, 2011 at 2:53 am
I still cant believe anyone is shocked that a combination politician, real estate agent, and MMA fighter would have character issues.

Absolutely no lying d bags in any of those professions right?
fatbellyfrank- January 4, 2011 at 2:40 am
@ Karma, ( IMO, my two cents worth), its not the crimes relevance in the big scheme of things, it's the continued Holier than thou, it's everyone else's fault bullshit that Sonnen comes out with time after time after time.
Does he deserve to serve time? Yes, for the same reason's ( totally different style crimes tho) that War machine is in jail, because you can only push so far, and by your actions basically tell the rest of society to go fuck emselv'es before you need to be sat down for a little while to contemplate your attitude towards society.
axhed- January 4, 2011 at 2:40 am
his mom's a plumber?
rogerw- January 4, 2011 at 1:54 am
"arrest Obama" lol, Republicans are funny.

Anyway, here's what he's done apparently (according to The Oregonian), shows further what a fucking scumbag he is:


The charge against Sonnen stems from the June 2006 sale of a home at 11249 S.E. Rolling Hills Lane in Portland. The lender, Decision One Mortgage, agreed to send more than $69,000 of the loan proceeds to a company called Crown Plumbing, a company owned by Sonnen's mother, for some repair work on the house.

The repair work was never done. Instead, the money went as a kickback to the straw buyer of the house.

Straw buyers were a common phenomenon during the housing boom. Mortgage scammers typically recruited individuals willing to serve as front-men and women and would secure a loan for a home with a falsified loan application. They would then use various means to skim money off the top of the transaction.
KarmaAteMyCat- January 4, 2011 at 1:30 am
I think this shits Hilarious in so many ways. I mean obviously we want to go after the people who put us further into our economic situation. So Let arrest Obama call it a day and leave the small fish alone. I'm not saying Chael shouldn't pay for his crime but I read earlier that this wont go far 10,000 thousand in Fines and a couple years of probation. A slap on the wrist. This is only big news because it's Chael Sonnen, His mouth gets him the attention of the masses so in a very amusing turn of events if Chael Sonnen wasn't employed by the UFC and wasn't an Attention whore with a big mouth(and a Mexican TWIN) he wouldn't even make National News. He'd just be a fucking highlight on Good Morning America if that and they wouldn't even give that fucker FIVE minutes of air time. So do I think Chael deserves twenty-years in prison? No. Do I think Chael Sonnen is the cause of our current economic situation because he fucked some poor bastard out of their money when they already live in one of the top five worst area's for Jobs,Public assistance, and Debt. No. They'll be watching Chael for sometime after this situation he'll lose his License to do many forms of business. I think this entire situation is fucking Hilarious. Come now don't you think Big Brother has more important shit to do? Like... (JUST USE YOUR IMAGINATION.)
fatbellyfrank- January 4, 2011 at 12:54 am
Wow, Sonnen is un-fucken-beleivable, his shit talking as an ESPN analyst coupled with these obvious criminal activities, its almost likes he's got a terminal case of little dic......, oh wait,.....sorry guys, you already knew that
Poutine Guillotine- January 4, 2011 at 12:53 am
I don't believe this at all. The whole thing is fishy. Sounds like a guy with a Hispanic accent to me. Maybe that guy has a black belt from the Nogueira brothers, which is like getting a toy in your happy meal if you ask me.

honestly i am at a loss of how to cut and paste chael's bullshit in a humorous well written post... you can try yourself its easy something things to keep in mind:
He called lance armstronge a cheater
then pissed hot (with even more of a piss pore excuse)
he mocked the ju jitsu instruction of his opponet
and then got submitted

fuvk my grammar
fcuuk ny logic
fuck this dude
I'm drunk
out
Dagnut- January 4, 2011 at 12:52 am
@ DangadaDang ..nice
fatbellyfrank- January 4, 2011 at 12:29 am
I've just logged on, back from the in-laws,( 3 parts pissed already) Im gonna read the previous article, have a good listen to Chael, then come back and read this one properly,
fatbellyfrank- January 4, 2011 at 12:26 am
@ goog & Facebiter, Gentlemen please, we all know the numbers, the question still is, how can a professional fighter hit a fellow professional 251 times in a 23 minute time frame, yet still do no damge other than minor abrasions around the eyes and then to really crown the underacheivement lose the fight?
KarmaAteMyCat- January 4, 2011 at 12:24 am
UPDATE:

I read that he's only going to face Probation and 10,000 in the form of a fine.
RSparrow- January 3, 2011 at 11:39 pm
If Snookie can get a reality show, please tell me why Sonnen can't.
RwilsonR- January 3, 2011 at 11:38 pm
"Michelle Holman Kerin, the assistant U.S. attorney handling the case, told 'the Oregonian' that Sonnen agreed to give up his Realtor's license and pay a $10,000 fine. The government is recommending Sonnen be sentenced to two years of probation after Sonen delivered an impassioned speech to the judge concerning his delayed onset of puberty and his underformed genitalia, which may have garnered him extra sympathy and leniency from the court. When asked for further comment, Ms. Holman Kerin responded, 'We all felt bad about his small balls. They were just really pathetic.'"
rogerw- January 3, 2011 at 11:09 pm
lol, wonderful news just after getting out of bed. :D

Couldn't happen to a more deserving douchebag.
PERPATRAITOR- January 3, 2011 at 10:22 pm
Seems like he takes a lot of short cuts.....
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