MMA Fighter Challenges People to Punch Him in the Face, Everyone Fails

Chael Sonnen Publishes Volume One of Heel Manifesto


("No no you backed me in a corner so just shut up and listen / I’ve got a long list of complaints and a shit-ton of suspicions."

Y’know, if this fighting thing doesn’t work out, Chael Sonnen could have a future in humiliating his enemies through long-winded online essays. (There’s money in that, right?) The UFC’s #1 middleweight contender used FightMagazine.com as a venue for an "open letter to fans" published yesterday, in which he discussed his infamous interview with hapless journalist Jon Lane, and called out Antonio Rogerio Nogueira, who recently claimed that Anderson Silva will beat Sonnen like a child. But Sonnen saved most of his bile for Ed Soares, criticizing the prominent manager for not being able to control his star client. Read on for another unvarnished glimpse into the possibly-deranged mind of the UFC’s greatest anti-hero…

*****

“Hi, everybody! Remember me? Your ol’ buddy Chael? Y’know I spend most of my time fightin’, which doesn’t leave much time for writin’, but things being what they are, I’ve decided to take a moment or two, and fire up the ol’ Olivetti typewriter, put in a fresh ribbon, and share some of my recent thoughts with you….

Firstly, I’ve gotten a significant amount of feedback regarding my “correspondence” with MMA…..”Journalist” Jon Lane…So….To any and all members of the media: I’m always happy to talk and share my time and ideas with you. And I appreciate your efforts in contacting me, and instead of ‘circling the wagons’ around a “fellow journalist”, for applauding my efforts to….FIX things. Do me a favor, guys. Don’t be so hard on JonJon. He’ll get it. Bring him along, help him out here & there. I kinda like him. And Jon…..No hard feelings. Really. If you re-read our correspondence in the cold, hard, light of day, you’ll see I was trying to….HELP you.

I never expected you to be Umberto Eco; but those questions… guy! I mean COME ON. So buck up, little soldier. If you fall off, just get right back on – even if it’s only a keyboard you’re getting on.

And Lil’ Nog…..I read your appraisal of the upcoming fight betwixt your pal Anderson and yours truly and, I’ll be damned, you are one sharp dude…. about as sharp as a bag of wet mice.


Do yourself a favor: have your mouthpiece permanently installed in your mouth so you can’t speak at all. Have them feed you with a tube like a coma patient. You’re not doing Anderson any good and you’re sinking your own ship too. You say I’m not qualified to fight Anderson…Which means that the UFC brain trust – that thinks I AM and are also YOUR BOSSES — are idiots. It also means Ed Soares – Anderson’s manager and YOUR MANAGER TOO – doesn’t know what he’s doing, either. Smooth, guy. Very smooth. Do you have any other brilliant ideas or scathing critiques you care to impart to the UFC Brass or your own manager? Maybe that shot Sokodjou hit you with was worse than it looked (if that’s even possible).

You seem like a nice enough guy, and I have no real beef with you (Oh, and speaking of beef: If you can turn your disk over at the Rodizio once in awhile and get down to “185,” there’s gonna be a new sheriff there in less than a month who’ll be happy to ride you right back out of town on a rail). So please see this as the kind of well-intentioned advice I would give to a friend or training partner. And if you lose a few (you looked like Roy Nelson in a Frankenstein mask for that Brilz fight… which you lost, buddyboy), we can scrap in the Fall.

And Ed, I saw your recent comments. Not bad work. Hats off. You come across as professional and accountable in every respect…which makes your inability to control, explain or denounce Anderson’s behavior quite puzzling to me. THAT’S one of the main reasons we are where we are with all this: because you can’t make him fight.

You can’t explain why he does what he does and you refuse to give a consistent, rational explanation for it. It’s like you keep trying to sell the kids faulty fireworks that turn around after 10 feet and come screaming back and hit them in the eye or blow their hands off.

Are you aware that you represent the generally acknowledged best fighter in the world in the premier promotion on planet Earth and that the president of that company has promised to FIRE HIM for his behavior?

Aren’t you just a little embarrassed by that?

And that’s got NOTHING to do with me, or even this fight.

Imagine: Your team is on the two-yard line in the fourth quarter of the Super Bowl, but your star quarterback disregards the head coach’s instructions and calls a play where he throws the ball to a popcorn vendor in the sixth row, then eats a piece of turf and craps in his helmet on the 50-yard line.

Do you know who he’s REALLY mad at? NOT the fans or the opposing team…he’s mad at daddy; he’s mad at the coach!

WHY?

What causes that encoded hostility?

Is your fighter insane? If he is – and you therefore cannot reasonably predict his behavior – isn’t it incumbent upon YOU to find a way to fix it?

Don’t you owe that to the sport?

To the fans?

To his boss, Dana White?

And lastly… don’t you owe a debt to HIM and his long-term psychological well-being? Shouldn’t you get him the help he needs, before one of his irrational, unexplainable acts causes himself or someone else genuine harm? If he’s irrational and uncontrollable, put him in a psych ward. If he’s fine, prove it by giving a legitimate, rational, explanation for his actions in Abu Dhabi. I’m the one who has to fight him.
What’s going on, exactly?

…OK kids…….Chael has to go get all sweaty again.”

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the glza- July 11, 2010 at 4:09 pm
i am a silva fan, have been ever since his utter destruction of leben, and it peaked when he muhammad ali'd griffin and yes, it's disappointing to see the guy "win" the last couple of fights the way he has but nothing will take away the awe-inspiring skills he can show.

i don't like sonnen -- never have -- but i like what sonnen is doing, and it is our best chance to see silva do what he used to do, and i respect sonnen for doing this knowing full well that the price he'll pay is a world of sadistic punishment that could end his career.

i can't wait to see what happens on the 17th!
2DaDeath- July 10, 2010 at 10:50 am
Good point. I was gonna say something to the effect of he's still winning, but i personally don't agree with winning in that fashion.
ArmFarmer- July 10, 2010 at 9:50 am
I don't buy the whole he's trying to get better fights thing, I totally agree with Dana white on that subject. If you want to show everyone that your opponent has no business being in the ring with you then you don't go to a 5 round decision, you decimate him in the first round. Going to 5 round decisions because you refuse to engage proves nothing to me other than that he feels threatend by his opponents. That's the way I see it.

That, however, is a completely different can of worms than the taunting issue. If you are that disrespectful to your opponent and you are urging him to bring it like that then YOU better fucking bring it. I just think it's pathetic that he's basically like "yeah what's up bring it pussy" and then he gets stuck in the face a couple times and won't fight anymore. It's like the bully that acts like a fuckin hardass at school but when it's time to meet at the playground and thrown down he's a no show.

the glza- July 10, 2010 at 6:53 am
caption: Matt Lindland is contractually obligated by tapout to walk with his head turned at all times.

i love how the Sokoudjou's stats say "Country: Africa" -- stay classy japan!

2DaDeath- July 9, 2010 at 10:52 pm
Take it easy, armfarmer. You're getting more hysterical than Lindsey Lohan at her sentencing. (Sorry. I just wanted to be the first to reference her courtroom breakdown.)

I think it was a pretty shitty thing to do to Maia, but I feel like his behavior was probably more directed at the UFC than anything. If people wanna be mad at him, they should also be mad at Joe Silva and DW, since they aren't putting him up against better competition and they're also not letting him fight outside the UFC.
PurplePancake- July 9, 2010 at 10:02 pm
Poor Mr. Sonnen, it just comes off like he's trying too hard.
ArmFarmer- July 9, 2010 at 8:18 pm
lol you guys I don't really think he's going to win. If he does pull it off I just want to be able to say I was the only one that called it sense no one else is. I'm not a Sonnen fan.. but I do hate Silva. I just think Chael's style could possibly give Silva problems.

It's all about styles and I think an agressive wrestler with great top control and gnp is a bad match up for Anderson. The only two times he's shown any weakness is against Lutter who mounted him and Hendo who won a round. Yeah he submitted both of them, but it's also interesting to note that both submissions were set up by strikes. I think Lutter went out for a split second from the up kick and fell right into the triangle. I don't think his bjj has been fully proven, but he has definitely proven that he can put it all together in a dangerous way. Silva is obviously the safe bet but I'm not counting Sonnen out. It's definitely a long shot but it's possible.


@2dadeath
Nice office space reference that was a good one, but if you think I'm going to change my mind that a champion taunting his opponent during a fight and slapping the mat and cursing at him and then running away from him for the rest of the fight isn't ok.. then you are mistaken.

My friend wanted to know why I don't like Silva so I started pasting links to so many articles and videos that I stopped because it was taking too long, I could have gone all day.
Frank Mur- July 9, 2010 at 8:02 pm
Disco-Platypus Says:
Fri, 07/09/2010 - 13:12
Mike Goldberg: "UN-BEE-LIEVABLE. It is ALL over!"

Joe Rogan: "Wooow. Who can stop THAT guy? Scary."

Mike Goldberg: "And now to turn it over to Bruce Buffer, for the announcement."

Bruce Buffer: "And youuur winner, by T...K...O knockout at 1:30 of the very first round. Elll Famooooousss Buuuuuurrriiiiiiiitooooooooo."

The inherent comedy is not what is being said, but that it's being said in the first place. The MW division has historically been as talent and personalty rich as my underwear stains - which is why Anderson Silva is nowhere near being the best mixed martial artist, as an aside - so the fact that Chael is so vocal and vicious is amazing. And in reality, all this shit talking has been directed to A. Silva only, as Chael gave Nate massive credit after their fight and later trained with Okami. He seems to dislike A. Silva because, well, Anderson is a fucking dickhead - pretty legitimate, if you ask me.

I also actually give Chael more credit than most. Really, I cannot understand why we all went from believing that Nate Marquardt had at least progressed to the point where a rematch between himself and Anderson would be interesting, to now feeling that the individual who partook in some serious anal-intromission on Nate is a squash?

Chael has some serious holes in his submission defense, but with that being said, you have to gauge how a fighter has performed recently as the best indicator for how he will perform in the near future. Chael soundly defeated first Dan Miller, and then the only two MWs that we had any interest in seeing against A. Silva.


(TOP) Very Funny!
(Bottom) I could not agree more! Actually, everything you said, I would consider 100% accurate. I'm giving it to Sonen based on his "handling" of Marquardt alone. However, his penchant for getting caught in subs leaves me to not want to put money on it. As I see it, the only way Silva wins is by Submission.
TigrMchine- July 9, 2010 at 5:33 pm
Holy Shit! Chael Sonnen knows who Umberto Eco is??? My english major brain is reeling.
TigrMchine- July 9, 2010 at 5:33 pm
Holy Shit! Chael Sonnen knows who Umberto Eco is??? My english major brain is reeling?
just some dong- July 9, 2010 at 5:13 pm
Chael's just playing the lottery here. He has almost no chance to win, but if he pulls it off after talking all this smack, he is going to look like fucking Superman.

bitteralex- July 9, 2010 at 5:09 pm
wow... just wow...
despite the hype machine that chael sonnen is.. this fight is gonna end up like every other fight silva has had in the ufc...
2DaDeath- July 9, 2010 at 5:01 pm
@ armfarmer:

Sorry for the late response here (well not really), but i noticed you said:

"ya know I understand that this is a sport and if an athelete just wants to do the bare minimum and play it safe that's his right..."

So what your saying is there should be more pieces of flair?

Regardless of how most people feel about AS just doing the "bare minimum" to win, there's no rational behind saying Sonnen is gonna beat AS. You're just being emotional. My advice is: have a good cry and get over it.

AS beats Chael Sonnen 99 out of 100 times.
BossNasty- July 9, 2010 at 4:50 pm
OK let me break this down for you dumbasses.

If you were watching fights and not imagining Sonnen's taint on the bridge of your nose you would see that so far, no fighter has displayed the technical skills as Sonnen. If we were talking about Silva going up to 205 to fight Sonnen then MAYBE but at 185 there are no fighters that can mess with Silva. Yes he danced around Maia but it's not like he was in any danger. I understand having favorite fighters but to gargle Sonnen's nuts just because you want to see Silva lose is ridiculous. Sonnen is promoting the fight better than most fights but that won't change the outcome of the fight. Either Silva will dominate him and dance around or he will murder him flat out. If you say otherwise you're dillusional cockfags. Sonnen is a mediocre fighter AT BEST and you know what you can do if you disagree.

Damn I like CP nation.
Charming Charlie- July 9, 2010 at 4:10 pm
Chael Sonnen was never elected to government, though he announced his candidacy and later dropped out of the race. Thus he has more time to write this kind of blog food. I enjoyed his response to Jon Lane more than this open letter though.
ArmFarmer- July 9, 2010 at 4:01 pm
Oh, and by the way I'm tired of hearing this bullshit about bjj guys. Did everyone forget Cote? He's a 1 dimensional striker and Anderson danced his way through that fight too up until a ghost showed up and thai kicked Cote's knee out. It was probably just pissed about the boring ass fight...
ArmFarmer- July 9, 2010 at 3:55 pm
Alright somebody's gotta do it, I'll be that guy.

Chael Sonnen is going to tool Anderson Silva.

There I said it. Flame all you want but it's obvious none of you are wrestlers. There is no not fighting Sonnen, he isn't some jiu jitsu rat that only cares about what happens when you're on the ground. BJJ guys suck at takedowns, takedowns are virtually meaningless in sport jitz. Mia and Leites had sport jiu jitzu backgrounds. The difference between an agressive high level wrestler and a bjj guy in terms of takedowns is astronomical.

Travis Lutter was a bjj guy just like the other two, but he was also a D1 wrestler. Despite missing weight by 9 lb, looking totally depleted anyway, and saying that he couldn't get motivated for the fight, his pathetic ass still managed to take Silva down at will and put him in some danger. Dan Henderson was beating Anderson as well until he gassed and got tagged.

Anderson's biggest weakness is his wrestling. He might ko Chael and he migh submit him too, but I garuntee you one thing and that is that Anderson will get taken to the ground. I bet a parlay on him to beat Nate and go to a decision because of the same factors. Nate is a great striker and a great grappler, and just a better fighter than Chael in general, but wrestlers can force you to fight their fight, beat you up on the ground, and yes a lil laynpray to kill time. I wouldn't be surprised if Chael wins this fight by decision or late tko.

Let the flaming begin.
macreadysshack- July 9, 2010 at 2:53 pm
@ BossNasty . . .

You said, 'At the end of the day it all boils down to what you do in the ring. Silva isn't getting bad publicity for what he did outside the ring, and Sonnen can't make a name for himself just by talking shit before the fight. This isn't WWF'

YOU get the fuck outta here! No, just kidding, bring the 'nasty'. Silva's had plenty of bad press for what he's done outside the Octagon. His contradictory explanations of his behavior and his total 'I don't give a fuck what any of you say or think' attitude has definitely gotten him some negative reactions. I don't disagree that what happens in the cage is THE most important thing. I didn't say Sonnen was going to beat Silva. I couldn't say that with a straight face. What I did say was that Silva is going to have to actually FIGHT Sonnen. Whether that turns into something that looks like Silva vs. Griffen or Silva vs. Hendo, it will (I think), at least be a real fight.

Another thing . . . Sorry pal, it does matter what people say/do outside the cage. Guys who can create a stir or generate enthusiasm in a fight sell PPVs. Guys who do that are far more likely to keep their jobs. Thank baby jesus it ain't WWF but unfortunately (for me at least) it isn't a perfect meritocracy. Not by a long shot.
MoTropolis- July 9, 2010 at 2:45 pm
@BossNasty-- Only if you are referring to Greg Giraldo. It would prolly be best if you just stop watching daytime talk shows.
Son of Earl- July 9, 2010 at 1:45 pm
So basically...Chael Sonnen is the Dennis Miller of MMA?
BossNasty- July 9, 2010 at 1:43 pm
@MoTropolis-- would it have been better to say I saw that on Geraldo?
BossNasty- July 9, 2010 at 1:40 pm
@El Famous Burrito

Are you smoking the ganja right now?
MoTropolis- July 9, 2010 at 1:38 pm
Once you start referencing, I refuse to call him a Doctor, Phil, you lose all credibility and everything that was read before it may as well been hieroglyphics. Angry Whopper made some excellent remarks that I totally agree with. Again, I would like to remind all of you Fail Sonnen is the current record holder for tap-outs by bitch yelp in the UFC. And although Silva's antics in the octagon his past few fights have been lame and aggravating, shouldnt we also give him credit for even being ABLE to do that to so many top contenders?? Who else can go into a fight dancing around and humiliating his opponent with zero concern or dare I say chance of being knocked out?? That in itself is pretty impressive albeit annoying to watch.
BossNasty- July 9, 2010 at 1:36 pm
@Nealio-In the UFC GSP has lost to Serra. SERRA? and Penn though he is on my P4P list just lost his belt to Edgar and who has Silva lost too?

Silva
GSP
Penn

Considering GSP was actually finished by Serra as opposed to a close decision he probably should be 3rd but because he's defended that loss and has been on a tear ever since then there is no reason for Silva to be third considering he went up a weight class and punched half of Irvin's face of and took Forrest who many of you considered to be one tough S.O.B. and fingertip slapped him unconcious. So to put him third on your list means you should take my dick out of Freddyfangers mouth and swallow my dick and balls at the same time.
El Famous Burrito- July 9, 2010 at 1:27 pm
Well according to him, Maia claiming he was going to take one of his arms off was so insulting that Silva had to teach him a lesson through the medium of interpretive dance.

Chael's just taking it to the next level insulting him, his manager, his friends, his fashion choices, Brazilian steakhouse customs, etc. The list is endless.

Like in Die Hard, when Hans Gruber shoots the slimy cokehead Ellis, to get John McClane to give up the detonators. Then he says "Sooner or later, I might get to someone you *do* care about!"

Then McClane says "Go fuck yourself, Hans." and proceeds to fuck his master plan up. Maybe this is like that, only instead of dropping Chael off a building, Anderson is going to savagely beat the white off of him with his fists.
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