(A glimpse into the nightmare that awaits Stefan Struve if he doesn’t start choosing his battles.)
If I could spend a day inside the head of any UFC fighter – Being John Malkovich style — I would obviously choose Donald Cerrone, who is currently sticking it to Brittney Palmer if I remember correctly. High fives all around, guys! But on the off chance I could crawl inside the head of a second UFC fighter, I would have to go with Cheick Kongo, because based on recent events, I can only assume that his brain functions exactly like one of those twisty-turvey waterslides at your local amusement park.
In the past few days, Kongo has turned down a fight with Daniel Cormier, which is understandable, and turned down a fight with Roy Nelson, which is not so understandable for a guy who is coming off one of the most atrocious winning performances in UFC history. But after turning down the Nelson fight, Kongo sent out this tweet, which challenges the phrase “splitting hairs” on a level my brain has yet to fully comprehend:
I did NOT REFUSE to FIGHT Roy Nelson. I REFUSED to TAKE A FIGHT on SHORT NOTICE. Which is NOT THE SAME AT ALL.
Fine, Cheick, if that helps you sleep at night. I hate to judge a book by it’s cover, but if you were to tell me anywhere else that a man with pectorals the size of dinner plates refused to fight this dude on a month’s notice, I would probably call him a pussy. I said probably.
Dana White seemed to share this sentiment, and recently lashed out at Kongo for his insolence, pretty much stating the following.
At this point, one would assume that Kongo would just shut the fuck up for a second and pray to God that DW threw him a bone in the near future. But like I said, the mind of Cheick Kongo can not be unraveled by even Cheick Kongo. So despite everything that was going against him, Kongo recently had the Corn Nuts to call out Stefan Struve on Twitter, because anyone who has taken an Introduction to Business course knows that the best way to ascend up the corporate ladder is to ignore your boss repeatedly before asking him for a favor. Or something like that.
One would also assume that Struve — who is currently riding a four fight win streak and most recently knocked out an undefeated rising contender in Stipe Miocic — would realize that he and Kongo are leagues apart at this point in their careers and give him the old “Thanks, but no thanks.”
You ignorant sluts. Struve almost immediately agreed to the idea, tweeting, “I’m in! Great fight for sure.” Now, while I’d like to applaud Struve for being the kind of “take on all comers” fighter that Kongo only wishes he could be, I can’t help but feel that this a terrible idea for Struve. Although his standup is ever-improving, “Skyscraper” has had trouble utilizing his massive reach against much smaller guys than Kongo in the past, and usually found himself brutally knocked out when he failed to do so. Fighting a tall, strong guy with knockout power like Kongo is basically asking for an upset, and will do little if not nothing for Struve’s momentum should he emerge victorious.
But I’m just one man with an opinion and an asshole. So would any of you buy this fight for a dollar?