For your sake, I hope you’ve been good this year.
By Jason Moles
The year is half way over. Days are longer, flip-flops and shorts have replaced boots and pants, and yet the smell of chestnuts roasting on an open fire remains as strong as ever. That can only mean one thing – Christmas in July! Most of you couldn’t care less about another holiday you don’t get off from work, but what if I told you this one was special in that you can make a wish list for Wandy Claus and he’ll give you what you want if you’ve been good all year? You have been good this year, right?
On behalf of MMA fans across the globe, I’ve complied a Christmas in July wish list that, if fulfilled, would bring peace on Earth and good will toward man – or at least would appease a large majority of fans of a fringe sport. Click below to see what made the cut and bash me in the comments for not including your idea.
No matter what the big promotions do, MMA judging continues to be embarrassing at best. Ex-fighter judges, different athletic commissions, hell – even adding monitors didn’t help the situation. Machida/Rua 1, Frankie Edgar Confirms That He Is Indeed Insane” href=”http://www.cagepotato.com/judge-who-scored-it-50-45-frankie-edgar-confirms-he-indeed-insane/” target=”_blank”>Edgar/Penn, and almost every Leonard Garcia fight have been affected by this epidemic and it must be cured soon before anyone else falls victim. Change the scoring system, require all judges attend seminars or complete a certification course – SOMETHING! But please don’t mistake this request as an opening to listen to BJ Penn Says the Way to Fix MMA is Get Rid of the Judges and Make Decisions Draws for Both Opponents” href=”http://www.cagepotato.com/bj-penn-says-the-way-to-fix-mma-is-get-rid-of-the-judges-and-make-decisions-draws-for-both-opponents/” target=”_blank”>BJ Penn’s thought on the matter. The general public just wants the judges to be competent enough to be able to tell the difference between a lemon and … (you can see where this is headed). Is it really too much to ask that the better fighter be awarded the win and be compensated accordingly? Fans don’t think so, thus its place at the top of the list.
Wanderlei Silva to Retire
For the past fifteen years, “The Axe Murderer” has been knocking dudes out left and right for our enjoyment. As a former PRIDE Grand Prix winner and middleweight champion, the man has nothing left to prove as a fighter. If his last paycheck is any indication, he doesn’t need the money either. His legacy is cemented in the sport, not soon to be forgotten. Listen, far be it from me to tell someone else how to live their life but as a fan of this great sport and more importantly a fan of Silva, I just can’t stand to see him fight again. My dad may disown me for this but I’ve must confess that I don’t give a flying truck if Brett Favre does come back again and is sacked into oblivion. If he wants to keep playing and die on the field or go full on vegetable after a devastating hit, more power to him. But please, please Mr. Wandy Claus, make Wanderlei retire.
Inter-Promotional Fights Under the Zuffa, LLC. Banner
This would have taken the number one spot on the list if it weren’t for the passion/rage that burns when the aforementioned come up in conversation. Dana’s been saying for years now that his job is to puts fights on that fans want to see. He’s already headed in the right direction allowing his Twitter followers to dictate what fights will be on facebook or Spike in addition to signing Strikeforce champion Nick Diaz to challenge longtime UFC Welterweight champion Georges St. Pierre this fall. Yes, I’m fully aware that contracts with Showtime may prohibit any other super fights from taking place. If Mr. Claus can travel around the entire world in just one night, then surely he can accommodate this simple request and give us what we crave. At the very least, Zuffa should give us a Strikeforce/UFC 8-man lightweight Grand Prix tide us over until the rest of the fighter’s contracts have been pulled through the loophole.
Isn’t this how The Matrix got started?
Comprehensive Drug Testing In and Out of Competition
Think of this as something similar to the WWE Wellness Policy except on steroids. Yikes, talk about a bad choice of words! All kidding aside, fans want to see their favorite fighter get a fair shake instead of having to fight and lose to two juice heads like Dan Miller. Mixed martial arts needs full blown drug testing to prevent cheaters from ruining it and doing unnecessary harm to the fighter’s body. The Chief of US Anti-Doping Agency calls the drug testing in mma a joke. Much like the judging situation, DFW reiterates that his hands are tied, but if they weren’t he would love to help. I’m calling shenanigans. All fighters should be tested regularly with and without prior notice for HGH and PED’s whether they are getting ready for a fight or not. Period. This will significantly reduce the chances of any more Nate Marquardt-like scenarios from happening here on out.
The Cancellation of The Ultimate Fighter
In the slightly altered words of the inimitable Dr. Dre, “So give me one more [TUF season] and f*** [TUF] you can have it back.” We’re fourteen grueling seasons in the reality show with a little more than a handful of noteworthy fighters. I’m not sayin’, I’m just sayin’. The ratings are slipping faster than Chuck’s memory. Let us get a few last LOL’s from Bisping and Miller before we go our separate ways. There’s no need to make a scene and no, it’s not ok if you call me later.