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Conclusive Proof that Everyone (Even Dan Hardy) Sounds Smarter with an English Accent


(VidProps: UK Telegraph)

Just a tip, P-Nation: Next time you need to make an important first impression – whether on a first date or a job interview or that guest spot on The Bum Rush you’ve been hoping for — give some serious consideration to affecting an English accent. Essentially, sounding like you’re from across the pond is guaranteed to add a few points to your IQ and hey, it’s working for Dan Hardy. I know this sounds shallow, but something about listening to Hardy break down his upcoming UFC 120 opponent Carlos Condit in his lilting, Nottingham-art-school accent makes me think: “I’d definitely hire this guy.”

Now, we already know this is an illusion. We know that Hardy’s thin veil of smarts falls away in short order when he has to commit his thoughts to pen and paper. In fact, if I had to throw out a blind guess (and you know I will) I’d say Condit would probably best Hardy in most any battle of wits. Unfortunately, the battle of sounding cool when you say shit is already a totally one-sided slaughter in favor of the Englishman.


Not even that ridiculous mohawk can make Hardy look stupid as he describes Condit as “quite rangy” – if there’s a daily quota on using the word “quite” Hardy blows it out of the water here — and then details his plans to “throw him about” when the pair of mid-card welterweights meet in the cage in London on Oct. 16. 

“His best quality is his relentlessness, I think, his persistence,” Hardy tells Gareth Davies here. And speaking of stuff that makes you sound smart, you can’t do much better than being named ‘Gareth.’ “He’s quite tenacious. Quite meaning not as tenacious as me and I think that’s where he’s going to fall short. His tenacity is going to get him in a lot of trouble. He’s going to try to want to push the pace of the fight and every time he steps forward he’s going to run into something heavy or sharp.”

I assume when he says that he means punches and kicks, but listening to Hardy talk for a minute and thirty odd seconds make you wonder if he wouldn’t be better served to slap Condit across the face with a white riding glove and challenge him to a duel. My personal favorite exchange comes at the 1:18 mark in this video, though again, seeing it written down doesn’t really do it justice.

“Are you going to be very clinical in this fight?” Davies asks, sounding pretty much like the authority on the subject himself.

“Very,” Hardy responds, because what’s he gonna say? No? “Clinical and nasty. I’m going to bully him, push him around, throw him about.”

Even when Hardy is taking potshots at the face Condit makes when he walks to the cage, it somehow sounds more refined.

“Skinny guy. Tall, pale, dark hair. Screws his face up before a fight …,” Hardy says when first asked about Condit. “He’s quite rangy, he’s not a bad kickboxer. He’s quite persistent, he likes to grind away. He’s not bad on the ground, he’s got quite a few submissions. He likes to fight off his back off the ground.  Quite busy. That’s about it, really.”

All told, it sounds as though Hardy has things well in hand here, so long as Condit doesn’t introduce any of The Dark Arts (like, you know, wrestling) to the equation. Of course, that wouldn’t be the proper move for a sporting chap, now would it?

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twitterfeedz- August 4, 2011 at 2:13 am
Great article, thanks for posting!
dranokills- October 7, 2010 at 10:47 am
yeah you know, you hear someone say it alot and then someone else, before long you are saying it ,then one day some dude corrects you on it, and its all awkward and shit right?

you know what I'm saying "DAWG?"

that is just SOOOO freakin cliche' ya know "dawg"?

Hey I'm not "hating" on you, it's just those cliche's just kill me.

You know if you read this with an east india accent it sounds.....fucking funny as hell.
Shaky- October 7, 2010 at 8:17 am
to add to that, I'm not hating on you dawg, you seem cool, but I am hating on that cliche, it just kills me.
Shaky- October 7, 2010 at 8:16 am
@SnallTrippin

I couldn't care less would be more apt. I suppose I am supporting Geoff here by correcting you, but really it is because I can't stand it when people say "I could care less" when they are implying that they don't care. If you could care less, then you already obviously care. Stating it in such a manner informs no one how much you care about the subject, just that you care somewhat.
Anyway read that shit in an English accent and it's going to sound super smart.
dranokills- October 6, 2010 at 7:23 am
Everyone knows the best sounding english speaking people are the Australians damnit. England comes a close second. all that aside dan hardy is the man, haters hate him, just as I did before, but never again. he proved himself in my eyes, and I will always pick Dan Hardy in his fights from now on. Say what you will hes a damn good fighter, and hes not a pussy like most of em are. I pick Dan Hardy by TKO round 2.
SnallTrippin- October 5, 2010 at 9:17 pm
Geoff- if you actually think the UK is headed in a smarter/better direction than the US, I don't really think I have the means to argue with you...as soon they'll have padding around their trees to protect their children, etc. Good times though man. I can only hope the US wakes up about this crap.

...and stupid people will be stupid no matter what, it's not the education systems it's the cultures behind them that are the problems.

EDIT- And I could care less about attacking the article.
fatbellyfrank- October 5, 2010 at 6:32 pm
And whoever wrote this article must have a massive inferiority complex about their own speech
fatbellyfrank- October 5, 2010 at 6:31 pm
Dan Hardy is a fucken douchenozzle, and who gives a fuck what he sounds like, Michael Schiavello posseses the only accent worth commenting on in the MMA world , and his prose and enunciation, combined with his dulcet tones, and soft soothing Australian accent is the sound I Imagine Angels make when they sing in Harmony

Shaky- October 5, 2010 at 3:58 pm
Woh woh woh woh woh....since when did Condit learn to wrestle? People here are acting like being American equals wrestling stud. Granted it is millions times as likely for American to equal wrestling stud than Englishman but Condit just happens to be that one in a million, once in a lifetime....he can't wrestle for shit, hence this matchup. I'd also like to explain why Hardy says quite so much. It's the representation of the common English understatement. Paul Daley and Hardy are unusual in their cockiness. In England people usually play down their achievements as success is shameful. We don't have that winning attitude of Americans, which is why we don't win things. On the plus side there is less gross douchebaggery (in that sense at least, we make up for it in other ways, such as excessive and disgraceful drinking).
Classic example of the understatement:
(there is a massive rainstorm going on with gale force winds)
"ooh, it's a little bit wet out there isn't it?"
Clyde- October 5, 2010 at 3:57 pm
@just some dong, to be fair, you can probably fake the english accent quite easily and a lot of people will be none the wiser.

I like both of these guys and if at one point you'd ask me who'd win in a fight between the two, I'd have given Hardy a very slim chance. But Condit hasn't looked that great since coming to the UFC so I think Hardy has a reasonable chance here. I'll assume the UFC does as well because I know they don't like the local boys to loose.
Patrick- October 5, 2010 at 3:29 pm
Dude's funny. Goodnight, Carlos.
El Famous Burrito- October 5, 2010 at 1:52 pm
"Chad Dundas"

That's quite the dullard's name, innit guvna?
JoseMonkey- October 5, 2010 at 1:49 pm
Seriously, why don't you guys set it up to show the authors of the post?

FYI, chaddundas wrote this one, if the RSS feed is to be believed. You can see the author in the RSS feed, but I guess most of you don't view the stories in RSS readers and therefore don't see it.

The feed is available here: hxxp://www.cagepotato.com/rss.xml
831 Father- October 5, 2010 at 1:43 pm
geoff0011: UK's thisredengine.
Barry Mckockenner- October 5, 2010 at 1:39 pm
so obvious that the man/woman who wrote this "article" is a Hardy Hater .. probably got his ass kicked by a dude with a mohawk when he was young .. reveal yourself!
Barry Mckockenner- October 5, 2010 at 1:36 pm
i agree geoff0011 .. you know back in day cage potato used to put a name with each article/blog that was written, now u have no idea who wrote this piece of garbage .. probably for good reason. i read that formentioned Dan Hardy article, and it is 500,000, 000 times smarter than half of the crap that is now on this site on a daily basis ... all he was pretty much saying that wrestlers who take you down and hold u there (Gray Maynard) suck .. which i and about 90% of the viewers who watch MMA agree with .. and the 10% who do like that crap are probably former wrestlers, gay, or both.
RwilsonR- October 5, 2010 at 1:36 pm
In addition to making him sound intelligent, that same accent also adds a big +1 to sounding more gay.

"Yes. Quite gay, old chap."

I say Cage Potato, Dan Hardy says Cage 'Puhhh-tahhh-toe.'
RwilsonR- October 5, 2010 at 1:30 pm
@ Gee-Off Double-O-Eleven - Thank you for your non-trolling and very useful commentary. You are so wordly and learned. I would ask you to share more of your insights with us, but I'm afraid that CagePotato may simply be too low-brow for you. You may want to try the folks over at BloodyElbow. While not educated in the UK, they may come close to matching wits with an intellect as impressive as yours. Additionally, I'm certain that their discourse does not include things like "little bitch troll" and "fuck-ton" which are so common to CP vernacular. Please feel free to go there now.
geoff0011- October 5, 2010 at 12:45 pm
How am I trolling? This is a very poorly written article. Argue to me that it's not. And where did I ever say anything about UK politics? Not that I don't think they are ahead of us, we're one of the most corrupt political nations in the world, but I was referring to general education. Their school system is a lot better than ours, and they come out of it, not only at a younger age, but with a better education than most Americans. Explain to me what you learned in high school. Did you feel it was all necessary information? (Judging you are out of high school and/or graduated) And too be honest, your response further clarifies my point of not being an intelligent nation with such phrases as 'little bitch troll' and 'fuck-ton.' When trying to argue about intelligence, it helps to bring a little to the table.
agentsmith- October 5, 2010 at 12:33 pm
Hmm, yes... quite.

*adjusts monacle*
831 Father- October 5, 2010 at 12:15 pm
Hardy's cool but some of his fans are some of the dumbest, star-struck morons out there.

Case in point, on Facebook, Hardy's status is "R.I.P. Norman Wisdom". And two geeks respond with "?&soon Carlos will be joining him." and "Hey Dan, best of luck in the UK brother. Do what you do best homie. 10th planet war Hardy!!!!!! The boys will be rootin for your ass champ."
Koeikan- October 5, 2010 at 12:14 pm
Maggie Hendricks... is that you?
LAS- October 5, 2010 at 12:10 pm
If a British (I assume this is the term your were going for, not English) accent makes everyone sound smarter, then how does Michael Bisping manage to sound like such a fucking retard in every interview he's ever done?

"Em, fanks ta all me fans fah commin out tanight, em, I tried me best to on a good show fah yas. Em, I had a grea' training camp, tip-top I'd say, but, ya know, as soon as 'e 'it me wif dat left hook square on me chin, it was pretty much bollocks from there."
KarmaAteMyCat- October 5, 2010 at 12:07 pm
anyone else read the comments on the article he wrote for 118?
BryanF- October 5, 2010 at 11:59 am
How I see the Condit-Hardy fight going:

Hardy: I dare say, Carlos, ol' chap...we very well perhaps--
Condit: **DOUBLE LEG TAKEDOWN**
Hardy: --OH MY WORD!!!--

Repeat for 3 rounds.
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