Consider Yourself Warned: Cris "Cyborg" Santos May Pose For Playboy
(It's odd that the smile seems like the most unnatural part of this picture.)
The tasteful pornographers at Playboy have thus far been unsuccessful in trying to convince Gina Carano to take her clothes off and pretend to wash a car, so they've gone one step lower. Or higher, depending on how you think about it. Cris "Cyborg" Santos says she's been offered a spot in Playboy's glossy pages, and she's considering it. There's one thing, though. As she puts it, "...only one man saw me naked in my entire life and I have to think deeply about that."
One man? Really? I don't know whether to be impressed or concerned. But regardless, it's not like she's got anything any of us haven't seen before. Unless she does. Which would be kind of awesome and possibly scary.
I have no choice but to assume that this is all an elaborate ploy to get Carano to pose for Playboy. It's kind of like when you approach a group of women at a bar. You don't immediately start talking to the prettiest one; that's what they're all expecting. Instead, you talk to her athletically superior, sort of masculine friend with limited English skills.
At first the pretty girl will pretend to regard this as a positive development, but soon enough she'll feel her status within the group is threatened, and she'll be forced to do whatever it takes to steal back the spotlight. Works every time. Except for when it doesn't. Then the next thing you know you're in a committed relationship with a girl you can't understand who may decide to beat you up if you displease her.
DIGG THIS
Comments
B-rad Says:
I guess it couldn't be any worse than Chyna doing Playboy...or could it?
busted_cranium Says:
I can smell the sweet stench from here. Sour kraut and five-day-old oatmeal methinks.
richorama Says:
is playboy still a big deal? can that stuff still be considered porn?
mustache ride Says:
What the fuck I'd give it a look, but I'm a sick fucking bastard. I saw her spread in fight magazine and they tried there best to make her look like a woman, it kind of worked. You would have to think that playboy has more experience than them. Plus I don't even think PB could air brush a wiener off of somebody.
Merlin Says:
Please GOD no!
How did PLAYBOY go from bush to buzzed, to bald to ambiguous genitalia???
knucklesamitch Says:
I thought playboy had pics of naked chicks...Did they change formats?
Viva Hate Says:
CP, correction needed, that should read Playgirl.
meanfinger Says:
lmao.. airbrush a weiner off of somebody. thats classic.
@ b-rad. yeah, chyna has tits.. big ol fake tittayys.. which is commonly seen in playboy(which im sure we all know).. i'd expect cyborg to do muscle n fitness or somethin. unless they're throwin an ass load of cash. who knows tho.. i know strikeforce and playboy have good business ties together.. maybe they can do a "ask cyborg" monthly section, where she teaches other playboy models the finer points in jiu jitsu or grappling.. like she can teach these broads how to apply a bananna split or maybe even how to pass guard.. shit idk what u think??
Jugger Says:
I would certainly take women's MMA more seriously if she did this. I mean, women's MMA is struggling for legitimacy and equal opportunity. This would be a perfect way to eliminate some of the sexism in the sport and to show that woman are as serious about MMA as men. Nothing screams "I'm a legit professional" like posing nude for Playboy. Carano didn't understand this.
As an added bonus, Cyborg might set a precedent here for women's sports figures struggling for equal respect. If this works, we could expect Natalie Gulbis (golf), Daniella Hantuchova (tennis), or Brooke Wyckoff (basketball) to show us their pillows too.
Sabado Gigante Says:
Cyboobs!
meanfinger Says:
@viva hate.. i almost went that route too.. but thats was just too easy
imakeutap Says:
i actually feel bad makin fun of cyborg
LEAVE CYBORG ALONE!!!!!! SHE'S A HUMAN BEING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
Contraband Says:
she said only 1 man. I wonder how many chicks seen her naked.
Defender Says:
That will be, without a doubt, the most heavily photoshopped pictorial ever.
Contraband Says:
Excuse me mr. Potato!!!! I see an error in your Story. You have
"Consider Yourself Warned: Cris "Cyborg" Santos May Pose For Playboy"
And I think you clearly mean
Consider Yourself Warned: Cris "Cyborg" Santos May Pose For PLAYGIRL
DAN THE VIKING Says:
@Jugger coooome ooooonn!
Some woman find posing nude empowering, and I find I like to whack off to it.
So before you grab the first seat on the 'this sets us back years' train, take a look at a chic spread eagle and do what comes natural.
Robocop Didnt Tap Says:
Seriously, is this what journalism has come to? OP needs a spell checker ASAP. I can't believe he misspelled Playgirl 4 times in the story. Playboy would never have a dude pose naked.
DAN THE VIKING Says:
@ Contraband stop biting. Read the other posts BEFORE you fail.
DAN THE VIKING Says:
@ Robocop Didnt Tap OP needs a spell checker? You need a hilarity checker, then we would have been spared that post.
Contraband Says:
@DAN THE VIKING
I just come here to read the article and I don't care what you guys have to say, I just happened to see my sig. So go back to your moms basement and play WOW and wack off to star trek and stop worrying about what I write
Tai-Pan Says:
So what theirs something wrong with whacking off to Star Trek all the sudden? Fuck you, I don't want to live in that world.
KJGould Says:
This is the same publication that will / has featured Marge Simpson as a centrefold cover girl.
I'd say dementia is finally settling in with Heff.
Richard Tucker Says:
Sorry I'm late, guys! Did anybody make the "you meant PlayGIRL" joke yet??
Robocop Didnt Tap Says:
@ Richard Tucker
I wrapped that shit up about 15 minutes ago. Dan the Viking didn't approve though.
ReX13 Says:
Um, i think the Bens meant "PlayGirl."
Also, didn't you forget about Martinez/Zimmer II?
How tastes now my big pee pee?
DAN THE VIKING Says:
@ Contraband dont care what we say hey. You proved that by replying. And whats WOW?
ReX13 Says:
Seriously, though, i remember seeing a pic of Cyborg on vacation in a bikini and thinking she didn't look too bad. She really looks mannish when she cuts down to fight, with a little softness, it might be worth a look. 'Specially after the experts at Playboy finish 'shopping it.
On the other hand, Playboy tries their damndest to NOT show vagina anymore. Which is confusing and infuritating, and would not satisfy our curiousity in this particular matter.
Where do i contribute to the "Get Gina in Playboy (before she hits 38 and poses to reassure herself she's still sexay)" Fund?
Sabado Gigante Says:
Does this make mangina officially mainstream?
Dubya Says:
Well.. I WAS trying to eat lunch.
superflat Says:
Awesome -- now we can see Cyborg making out with Marge Simpson. Longtime fantasy of mine.
phaderlanx Says:
yo CP, you guys messed up! It should read "Cyborg may pose for PlayGIRL"!!!
...and boom goes the dynamite.
ArmFarmer Says:
Next person that makes an incredibly unoriginal and unfunny "playgirl" joke should be punished.. by being forced to have sex with cyborg. A game of paper/rock/scissor can determine who's pitching and who's catching.
mustache ride Says:
Did you guys mean Playgirl? Why hasn't anyone pointed this out yet?
ReX13 Says:
@Armfarmer
I agree, but if properly done in an ironic fashion (see: phaderlanx), i think they should be worth at least three or four internets.
DAN THE VIKING Says:
@Richard Tucker Hahahahaha noish.
@Robocop Didnt Tap I take it back, didnt notice the sarcasm.
knee_strike Says:
YIKES!
Cybog is in great shape and I have a ton of respect for her as a fighter, but I don't find her sexually attractive. She's just too masculine and homely. Her body is aesthetically pleasing, but that's as far as it goes for me.
Organ Donor Says:
First!!!!
Also, the following comments suck!!!!!
Also, I think they meant "Playgirl," not "Playboy," because Playgirl shows pictures of men.
steampunk22 Says:
John Connor gave me a picture of you once. I didn't know why at the time. It was very old - torn, faded. You were young like you are now. You seemed just a little sad. I used to always wonder what you were thinking at that moment. I memorized every line, every curve. I came across time for you Cristine. I love you; I always have.
;P
I need some more coffee. Or less coffee.
Goat Says:
Primer - "prim·er" - noun:
An object of desire, usually a woman, that acts as an initiator for male sexual arousal.
Cris Cyborg is not a primer.
DAN THE VIKING Says:
Is that a typo? Did they mean PlayGIRL? Because I was under the impression that Playboy only showed pictures of nude WOMAN!
IM INNNN!!!
Turd Furgeson Says:
Yo CP, you mean playGIRL right? Geez..
I hear they're gonna be selling copies at the death star during Zimmer/Martinez II.
I Know Nothing Says:
not sure if this joke has been made but I think you guys meant Playgi........BLAM!..{{{{thud}}}}
Viva Hate Says:
This surprises me still, I thought Playboy had higher standards. I mean I could see Cyrborg in Swank, Beaver Hunt, even High Society, they push the envelope a little. I didn't know Playboy was doing a trannie edition. I would pick it up just like when you see a car accident with a mutilated decapitated body strewn across the highway, you don’t want to look but you do, this is the same but with a possible awkward erection.
And yes, I do think Cyborgs stink box looks like a mutilated body.
ReX13 Says:
Anyone ever noticed that a lot of the Brazilian models don't actually go Brazilian?
Is it strange that i am genuinely puzzled by this? Shouldn't they embrace their culture proudly?
ghostboner Says:
Oh sweet mother of pearl! Epic masturbatory fodder! The gods of good fortune smile upon me! I have waited long and patient for her to be nude! I would love to keep posting but I gotta run to Wal-Mart and clean out the vaseline aisle asap!
Goog Says:
In Mother Russia, PlayGirl poses you.
ghostboner Says:
@steampunk22 - ha ha ha ha oh jeez Linda Hamilton? The parallel is clear but for some reason Sarah Connor is just not epic masturbatory fodder. Maybe it is because she vag'd out on shooting the black computer dude...
ProfessorMMA Says:
i'd hit it
Slampage Says:
If you experience an erection lasting more than four hours, please consult your doctor or any photo of Cristiane Santos.
ReDx Says:
The only man to see her nude was the doctor when he was removing her penis and putting in boobs.