11 Famous Actors and Their Embarrassing Early Film Roles

Counterpoint: 5 Reasons Why Shutting Down Strikeforce Is F*cking Stupid


(Oh for God’s sake, Scott. You can put those things down now.)

By Doug “ReX13″ Richardson

While there’s been no official confirmation — yet — the story goes that Strikeforce has one more show scheduled in January, after which Zuffa will shutter the whole operation and add another head in Dana White‘s trophy case. Presumably, the Baldfather has a triple-locked basement room where he goes to sip single-barrel bourbon and contemplate the zombified heads of his former competitors, a quiet time that allows him to reflect on his successes and find some measure of inner peace. You’d think doing the backstroke through piles of money a la Scrooge McDuck would be enough for that, but you’re just a stupid pleb without two nickels to rub together, so what the fuck do you know?

Anywho, while some would say that Strikeforce has hung around long past its expiration date, I’m here to tell you that turning off the lights and canceling Scott Coker’s credit line is just the latest of Zuffa’s missteps when dealing with Strikeforce. Dana White bought a goose that laid golden eggs, killed it to get the magic gold-producing gland, taxidermied the corpse when that didn’t work, stuck his dick in the lukewarm cadaver because Ronda Rousey, and is now looking to decorate his mantle with blood-stained goose down because what are you going to do, this stupid goose is broken.

Brand Recognition

First of all, it bears repeating that Strikeforce pre-dates the UFC (not just Zuffa) by eight years. Strikeforce was putting on kickboxing shows when Dana White was still using GLH after his boxercise classes. This is a brand that’s been established for two decades, and fans, athletes, managers, and athletic commissions knew the brand. Now, the long-acknowledged #2 name in combat sports (at least in North America) is being thrown to the scrap heap because Zuffa was unable or unwilling to use it properly. Silver lining: maybe your Strikeforce merch will be collector’s items?

Roster Control

Let’s face it: no one can keep up with the UFC roster anymore. Joe Silva will occasionally run into a fighter in the Zuffa cafeteria, and will be unable to recognize said fighter’s belly button and clavicle contour. (Silva is 34 inches tall and faces are useless to him for recognition purposes with most human beings. UFC flyweights were added purely because Joe Silva wanted “his people” to be in the show). This is because Zuffa now employs eleventy-hundred fighters and no human brain can contain all that information.

The UFC roster should have ceased getting larger sometime in 2002, solidifying it as a promotion for only the cream of the crop in combat. If they’d had one damn lick of sense at all, the UFC organization would have only kept the top ten or fifteen fighters under contract at the absolute maximum. This way, you could have had six or eight stacked, no-way-you’d-miss-that-show PPV events every year, and every UFC fighter would be a household name. Kids would be collecting and trading UFC cards today, instead of me using them as flashcards to try to keep it straight in my head who these dipshits are.

Side benefit: Zuffa would never have to release a big-name fighter that shows up in Bellator’s next tournament, when they could simply send them down to the D-League.  Speaking of which…

Strikeforce (Would Have) Killed the Bellator Star

Bellator is now the consensus pick for the #2 spot in American MMA, and the move to a weekly timeslot at the UFC’s old girlfriend’s place will only help burnish the reputation of Bjorn Rebney‘s little organization that could. Given enough time and resources, Bellator could turn into a legitimate threat to Zuffa, or at least a constant thorn in White’s side — if only by making contract negotiations more complicated. If Dana White’s giant-baby ego hadn’t dictated that Strikeforce be kept away from all things good and right, he could have had a very powerful weapon against any organization trying to steal his thunder, or sign his leftovers.

Imagine this: Bellator announces that they will be moving back to a Wednesday evening timeslot, where fight fans can catch them on Spike to get their weekly fix of KOs and limb-torquing. Zuffa releases a statement within 24 hours that they too will have a weekly show for punchy-kicky-grapplefun, and son of a bitch if it’s not going to be a Wednesday evening program on basic cable. Call it Strikeforce: Bodyblow, and stock that program with guys like BJ Penn, Cung Le, Wanderlei Silva, Frank Mir — the kind of guys who won’t take a belt in the UFC, but fans know and love and love to watch — and suddenly we’d be writing about how Bjorn is old and busted and living in a Winnebago with his dad somewhere in the Dakotas.

Obviously, this works for XFC, Shark Fights, RFA, and whatever the newest kid on the block is calling itself.

Strikeforce is the Best Hype Machine the UFC Could Ask For

A decently-informed MMA fan should never look at a UFC card and say “That fight looks cool, I’m looking forward to seeing this dude back, but who the fuck is this guy?” Any fighter making his UFC debut should have at least three wins in Strikeforce before he has to face the dreaded Octagon-jitters, so at least the fighter has some buzz and the production team has some decent highlights to incoporate while they play that goddamn “Face the Pain” abortion.

Basically, imagine if every UFC rookie had a path more like Daniel Cormier and less like the entire UFC 151 undercard.

Strikeforce Does WMMA Better

Dana White has made it crystal-fucking-clear that he just wants to put the tip of his penis somewhere near Ronda Rousey’s fun place, and it’s a bonus that she’s the most accomplished female fighter that would wreck him, you, and your dad in the cage. Yes, there’s a lot to be desired in Strikeforce’s treatment of women — mostly an extra zero in their paychecks — but Coker and company have been supporting those ladies far longer and far better than Dana White will. If that sounds harsh, I’ll retract this statement if Dana White can name three female fighters that he doesn’t fantasize about facializing.

I’ll wait.

 

[RX]

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dipsetkilla316- November 10, 2012 at 9:21 am
U damn right u bow ya fag i own ur life
Canseco_MMA- November 10, 2012 at 7:02 am
@misanthropy- oddly enough that's one of the few fights I cannot seem to find.@smellypiratehooker-preach on good sir. Morning liveblogs are worse than church.
Canseco_MMA- November 10, 2012 at 6:34 am
Dipset." I am not impressed with your performance"
Canseco_MMA- November 10, 2012 at 6:32 am
Dipset did they let you buy this morning's fight with your foodstamps? Your so right man your just too smart for me to argue with. Damn son I got schooled. I will forever troll the MMA nether regions looking for another site to call home because of the great linguistic ass whooping I just took. I bow down sir. Lol
dipsetkilla316- November 9, 2012 at 11:47 pm
Wow wat movie did u steal that from lol
Mr_Misanthropy- November 9, 2012 at 11:33 pm
You have been warned puny human.
Mr_Misanthropy- November 9, 2012 at 11:31 pm
Dipsetkillers 3:16 speaks in the coded tongue of the ancient mystery schools of antiquity. Look deeply into the garbled wisdom of his esoteric posts and see the future fate of humanity. Gaze deeply into the twisted oracle of enlightenment and thou shalt see the ancient prophecy unfolding within your mind...
dipsetkilla316- November 9, 2012 at 11:09 pm
Bro you don't have enough intelligence to argue with me I shit on you with words just stop trying ur just making yourself look bad
dipsetkilla316- November 9, 2012 at 11:03 pm
Fagseco ur life sounds pethetic and transvestite pirate hooker u dont have a brain so dont worry about it fagseco i didnt no u were a homosexual i dont think mma is for u maybe u wanna see a therapist or something u got a lot of anger issues awwwww wat happend mommy and daddy never showed u some love do u feel like ur life is a waste so sad have watching questionable fag porn btw u got some mouth on u boy u suck ur boyfriends dick with tha mouth
smellypiratehooker- November 9, 2012 at 8:33 pm
@dipset
Could you please unfind cagepotato. It hurts my brain reading your babble.
Canseco_MMA- November 9, 2012 at 7:49 pm
See how misanthropy actually put thought into that dipshit? The bar has been weighed sir and you are left wanting. Now for something completely different. Fellow taters I have a question that I need answered- where can I watch the starnes/quarry fight? I never got to see him doing the running man and I feel as though my life is missing something.
Mr_Misanthropy- November 9, 2012 at 11:34 pm
Prolly on youtube?
Mr_Misanthropy- November 9, 2012 at 7:35 pm
To whom It May Concern:

I don't got a mom, me and my daddy share yours.

Sincerely,

Mr. Lucifer S. Misanthropy
Canseco_MMA- November 9, 2012 at 7:23 pm
Dipset yea your right, it does suck my mom found out....that I Fuck you in the ass everyday....then again I apologize about your mom....having to clean your ass-stink off my Dick with her mouth....how's that for an opinion? Before you say anything I must remind you that I am rubber and you are glue. Now I'm gonna wait for your rebuttal because its Friday and all I have to do is sit at home taking painkillers and looking at questionable porn. Adieu.
dipsetkilla316- November 9, 2012 at 6:50 pm
Rex i did say it was but the examples that he uses makes it seem way over the top then it really is
dipsetkilla316- November 9, 2012 at 6:46 pm
Gayseco is that wat ur mother said right after u told her about ur gay lover
Canseco_MMA- November 9, 2012 at 5:57 pm
Dipset sounds like his mother should have taken the blue pill....or whatever one was for an abortion....and rex, he doesn't have the necessary means, for a necessary means to come up with something meaningful to add to this gem of a discussion....
ReX13- November 9, 2012 at 4:26 pm
dipset >> well that's just, like, your opinion, man.
dipsetkilla316- November 9, 2012 at 3:32 pm
This guys retarted he says they should keep strikeforce around because it's a weapon against Ballator you fucking dumb Nimrod UFC is the fucking weapon
dipsetkilla316- November 9, 2012 at 3:23 pm
Wow the guy that wrote this is such a faggot taking scenes from the last episode of the walking dead ha ha Hahaha you're a fucking loser
dipsetkilla316- November 9, 2012 at 3:21 pm
Theres just too much to say so just gonna say have strikeforce around is just fucking retarted
angry little feet- November 9, 2012 at 1:43 pm
Well I was going to say that this did indeed bring up some interesting counterpoints and was funny as hell to me in the process - but I wouldn't want anyone to get their panties bunched about me showing favoritism to Rex again so... blah blah blah you suck blah blah. There. Everybody happy? Super.
MediocreThreat- November 9, 2012 at 12:40 pm
"Dana White bought a goose that laid golden eggs, killed it to get the magic gold-producing gland, taxidermied the corpse when that didn’t work, stuck his dick in the lukewarm cadaver because Ronda Rousey, and is now looking to decorate his mantle with blood-stained goose down because what are you going to do, this stupid goose is broken."

That is one of the worst examples of a sentence I have ever seen.
Canseco_MMA- November 9, 2012 at 12:23 pm
That's a garbage ass decision. +1 for the Rosie Perez reference taco.
cman- November 9, 2012 at 12:12 pm
If it made money, DW wouldn't kill it. I'm betting folding is the only way out of some long term really bad deals.
cman- November 9, 2012 at 12:11 pm
I actually disagree, SF killed themselves way before:
A. They way over paid fighters just to be relevant, and pretend to compete.
B. they took no where near enough from show time to air events. When TV money is less than the gate your in trouble.
C. They couldn't lock down champs or anyone really. WE know their fighters. Casual fans really didn't.
From this the common thread is Coker negotiates like shit. I can't even pretend to know how bad his sponsor deals or merchandising deals are. We broke down SF finances years back on here and couldn't find how they made a nickel once they started going after names.
Mr_Misanthropy- November 9, 2012 at 3:19 pm
Hey- I remember those days, the good old days when a vitriolic rant about Strikfarce could be so satisfying. Now it's barely worth the effort to coherently string English syntax together with good enough punctuation to avoid the grammar nazis.
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