("…three…two…one…Happy New Year! Damn, take it again, Brock had another stroke.")
By CagePotato.com contributor Jason Moles
2010 is in the books, and MMA fans and fighters alike have endured tremendous highs and lows. Who would have guessed that The Last Emperor, Brock Lesnar, BJ Penn and the WEC would all collapse this year? Who could imagine that Chael Sonnen would accuse Lance Armstrong of giving himself cancer, then test positive for a banned substance? Ironic? You bet. But enough about last year — a new decade is upon us. Here are ten predicitions that will sound ridiculous until they actually happen in 2011…
1. MMA will be sanctioned in New York.
While watching WEC bid adieu, I couldn’t help but notice the commercials for the PBR (Professional Bull Riding) at MSG (Madison Square Garden). Pro bull riding averages 1 to 2 deaths per year — that’s not including amateurs, sometimes children, participating at the county fair. Regardless of what Bob Reilly has to say, this is a no-brainer that only the likes of the M-1 management team could foul up. MMA will be sanctioned in New York in ’11, even if we have to blackmail a senator to make it happen.
2. GSP will relinquish his Welterweight title to change weight classes.
Jake Shields blah, blah, blah — Georges St. Pierre is indestructible and will wipe the floor with him, or at least dry hump him to death. With his ‘le-gacy’ secured, he can bump weight classes and test the waters in the process in becoming the best mixed martial artist from Canada with an extra ‘s’ in his name OF ALL TIME.
3. Dana White will coin a new phrase.
"You want to be a %^&@$#! fighter?" and "Never leave it in the hands of the judges." will be replaced by something catchy like "Don’t cross the boss." Oh, wait, that one’s already taken. How about "Go big or go home," or "Suns out, guns out"? I never said it would be original — just catchy.
4. At least two more Ultimate Fighter winners will lose their jobs
This one doesn’t seem like a stretch. With all of that WEC talent now on deck, some hard decisions are going to be made with the UFC’s roster. That includes fighters getting cut after boring wins — yes, wins — and some of the reality show trophy-winners being left out in the cold. Joe Stevenson, Kendall Grove, and James Wilks are on the bubble, and that sum’bitch is about to pop.
5. Strikeforce version of TUF: Mayhem Monkeys vs The Entire 209
Just checked Google and I guess that MTV host has a major beef with some Diaz guy and his whole posse. From what I saw on YouTube these two really don’t like each other. Maybe, just maybe, Scott Coker can get these two on a TUF-esque show. I’m sure Bjorn Rebney can even get it on MTV2 for some sort of co-promotion. The ratings would be high enough and the exposure great enough that Strikeforce might actually bridge the gap between them and the powerhouse that is UFC 3.0.
6. The UFC will hold an event in Mexico
Never mind those annoying drug cartels. The people want to see Cain Velasquez with his heavyweight strap in tow fight in the land of fiestas. During the UFC 121 celebrations, Velasquez was mobbed in L.A. by his "Brown Pride" brethren. With guys like Tito Ortiz, Miguel Torres, and Señor Chael, who could also fight on the card, it’s a sure cash-cow.
7. A famous athlete will cross over into MMA
(Throws arrow at list of chubby, washed up, former all-star athletes.) Your guess is as good as mine. NFL lockout = Players without a paycheck. I don’t care who it is as long as they’re better than Johnnie Morton.
8. The UFC will land a network television deal.
This is one of those times when MMA fans can benefit from the down economy. What with the horrible scripts and bad acting clogging up prime time television, Mixed Martial Arts is just what the doctor ordered. Dana’s always said he’s been waiting for the time to be right or the right deal to come along. MMA will be the Saviour to the networks when advertisers pull out as news breaks about the NFL lockout next season.
9. Another notable MMA chick will bare all in Playboy
Wishful thinking? Of course. But with Rachelle Leah stripping off in 2008, and Arianny Celeste answering our prayers this year, the odds are on our side. Smart money: Miesha Tate. Dark horse candidate: Brittney Palmer.
10. Cage Potato will win ‘Media Source of the Year’ at the World MMA Awards
OK, Ben is paying me to write this last one. But is it really that far of a stretch? If Sarah Palin can get her own TV show why can’t CP get this award? The Bum Rush Radio Show is competitive to the MMA Hour, MMA Junkie Radio or Beatdown any day of the week. CP’s editorial staff may not also write for the Wall Street Journal or some fancy network sports site, but they do get guys like Gerald Harris and Roy Nelson to stop by and lace us with a fighter’s perspective. Besides, none of that really matters because the World MMA Awards are rigged and we can all pitch in and buy the award. That will teach Fowlkes to leave us.
Got any other wild MMA predictions for 2011? Let us know in the comments section…