(‘Allow me to show you gentleman to your suite, where I’m sure you’ll be pleased with our updated cocaine dispensers and dead hooker storage facilities. By the way, can I interest any of you in some illegal fireworks?’)

If you’re like us, you probably forgot all about former California State Athletic Commission Executive Director Armando Garcia once he resigned amid several different sorts of allegations.  Or if you did ever pause to wonder what he might be doing now, you probably assumed he was either running three-card monte games in a public park or else working the counter at an Avis rental car location.  What you probably did not consider is that he may be working at a casino owned by the Fertittas, who also happen to own the UFC, because that sounds too crazy to be true.

And yet, that’s what GracieFighter.com says Garcia is doing these days.  They claim to have seen him at a recent WEC event, which made them curious about his current job status.  Then they did some sleuthing and said they discovered that he is now the “head of security at the Boulder Station Casino in Las Vegas, officially working for the Fertittas in Nevada.” 

Now, we know that GracieFighter.com is a website that often traffics in the time-honored internet tradition of Just Sayin’ Stuff.  For example, back when Affliction was scrambling for a last-minute replacement to face Fedor Emelianenko they posted a one-sentence entry that read simply, “If they call, Nick will fight!”

We did a little looking and have so far been unable to confirm that Garcia is really on the Fertitta payroll, but if he is, “head of security” sure seems like a strange job to give him.  This is the guy who allegedly got busted with bundles of unexplained cash, not to mention the litany of screw-ups and unethical business practices that went on at the CSAC during his time at the helm.   

The only way he can be fit to run security at a casino is if they’re trying to hire a crook to catch crooks, sort of like the way they use ex-cheats to spot current cheats.  When you think of it that way, it’s actually not a bad idea.  When you think of it any other way, it’s just bizarre.