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Crazy Story of the Day: Stephan Bonnar Detained in Bahrain, Bitten by Camel Spider

(Nope. Nothing suspicious here.) 

Fact: Next to the DMV and Detroit, airports are the most terrible places on the face of our dying planet. Fact: Stephan Bonnar is a dog-fighting, gun-toting, BAMF who is not afraid to to stare Death in the eyes and wipe that bitchy smirk off his face. Being the “gives not a fuck” type of guy that “The American Pyscho” is, the MMA apparel company he co-founded, NGAUGE, have found themselves in quite a bit of hot water lately, mainly due to the “gives not a fuck” attitude of their “Trash Talkin Kids” t-shirt line. Perhaps you’ve heard of it.

After getting into a little legal tossup with Josh Koscheck last summer, you would probably think that Bonnar’s t-shirt based troubles were over. You would be wrong, and I would implore you to stop being so Goddamn ignorant.

You see, alongside Rich Franklin and Keith Jardine, Bonnar was kind enough to travel all the way to Bahrain to visit some of the U.S. Troops recently. He was likely charming, and he likely brightened their day. But proving that no good deed goes unpunished, on Bonnar’s way out of the country, he was detained by airport security, interrogated for over a day, and bitten by a poisonous camel spider before finally being allowed to leave. Why, you ask? Because apparently airport security didn’t appreciate the subtlety of the Melvin Guillard “Young Assassin” shirt that Bonnar was wearing.

He recounted the ridiculous story on Tuesday’s episode of Inside MMA

We’re getting ready to leave Bahrain, and I get detained at the airport. Jardine and Franklin get on the flight, and they take me in the room. They’re asking me all these questions, and they’re furious. One guy’s comin’ in the room and pointin’ at me, all furious, like that. And, what I think is that, I had on the ’Young Assassin’ shirt, with Melvin Guillard, and there’s a guy with a turban with his brains spillin’ out. I don’t think they liked that too much.

Bonnar continued:

There was only one flight out for the day at 9:30 p.m. The United flight that I was on. They kept me at the airport so long, I missed my flight. I had to wait till the next day to get on the flight. So, I’m tired. I’m sleeping at the airport, and all of a sudden, I wake up to a burning sensation on my leg. It scared me. I went and brushed down on my leg and, sure enough, a spider about the size of my hand comes crawling out of my pant leg and takes off runnin’! I couldn’t believe my eyes! This big camel spider goes under the door. I try to chase it. I lose it, and then, my God, my leg swells up, I get a fever, it’s gettin’ infected…but, hey, I’m gettin’ the heck out of there. The next night, I’m on that 9:30 flight, I’m ready to board that flight when, lo and behold…THAT flight gets canceled! So I’m stuck there another day! So, I had the option of going in for an antibiotic IV or stay in the hospital a few days, but instead, I opted to go the oral route, three different kinds of antibiotics, and I got on that flight that next day and got the hell out of there! God bless America!

Not creeped out enough yet? Well, take a look at a photo of the bite he received on his leg while detained, one that apparently came from a spider the size of a dinner plate.

Your move, Rashad.

If you’ve got a couple more minutes, and somehow still haven’t filled your creep tanks for the day, we’ve posted the videos of Bonnar’s plight below. Enjoy?

-J. Jones

Cagepotato Comments

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xxxrayrayray- April 25, 2012 at 8:18 pm
macreadysshack- April 25, 2012 at 12:23 pm
What kind of a fucking retard wears a shirt like that in the Bahrain airport? The American Psycho has now changed his nickname to American Retard. Okay, it goes like this. Middle East very very dangerous my friend and as culturally sensitive and defensive as a North Korean maiming landmine. You are white and wearing a tee shirt that is not only demeaning to their culture but also demonstrates a depiction of condoned violence toward it/them as you are walking through THEIR airport, which, after THEIR prison and THEIR dark back alley, is probably the place where they have the most scary and ultimate power over you possible. You are fucking lucky you just got bit by a spider. In my humble opinion, you just walked away from a situation that could've been the end of your . . . everything.
J-Dog- April 25, 2012 at 7:43 am
Camel Spiders are not supposed to be venomous... Camel Toes, on the other hand, have been known to bring down many a man.
ponyhair- April 25, 2012 at 7:21 am
Funny how a cartoon shirt gets taken seriously?
KarmaAteMyCat- April 25, 2012 at 6:29 am
Everyone takes themselves way to seriously these days and its fucking Hilarious. LOLOLOL FUCK Them. VIVA LA BONNAR.
holeeball- April 25, 2012 at 1:06 am
I can dig racism just like the next man. However, unlike the next man, I don't get bitchy when I'm arrested or otherwise schooled in ways of tolerance via brutal head stomp. I guess Bonnar got off easy this time.
razzle469- April 24, 2012 at 10:07 pm
"Although Solifugae (camel spiders) appear to have ten legs, they actually have only eight".

Thank you wikipedia.
The12ozCurls- April 24, 2012 at 7:54 pm
I can’t help but draw a comparison (albeit a stretch) to the way Bonnar was treated for wearing a lampoon based shirt and the treatment a “certain” website got after they posted a satirical caption. Difference is, Bonnar was in a country without the 1st ammendmant and the “certain” website was in the United States. God Bless America.
support_robot- April 24, 2012 at 6:16 pm
Note to self: Don't wear a Ku Klux Klan hat in Detroit. Don't wear a Nazi uniform in Tel Aviv. And for fook's sake don't wear a t-shirt with a dead guy in a turban on it to the Middle East!
boober- April 24, 2012 at 4:15 pm
Jesus Bonnar, keep your racism on your own soil you idiot.
Alan K- April 24, 2012 at 3:50 pm
So did he end up turning into a zombie or what?
DangadaDang- April 24, 2012 at 2:44 pm
Although I understand where you're coming from, Onan, I'm pretty sure the "Middle Eastern character" depicted on the shirt is Osama Bin Laden, and it's not like he was some beloved historical figure. Hitler is also on the shirt, so should Bonnar be afraid to wear it in Germany?
Tyr- April 24, 2012 at 3:39 pm
Actually he could get in trouble, the whole Hitler subject is very sensitive in Germany. The swastika is illegal even if used satirically. The one on the t-shirt is partially covered so maybe that makes it ok i dont know.
Shaky- April 24, 2012 at 2:45 pm
They may not realise it is Osama bin's not the most beautifully drawn t-shirt
Shaky- April 24, 2012 at 2:44 pm
I can't believe he was this fucking dumb! Learn how to travel nicely Bonnar. Have you ever been in an American airport? Those guys are fucking sensitive. My Dad almost didn't get into the US because he had a Morocco stamp in his passport....ten million tourists a year visit Morocco, it's a wonderful, beautiful country..but I guess it is a little too Muslim for US airport security.
Corrosionform- April 24, 2012 at 2:33 pm
I wonder if they put the spider in the room before they brought Stephan in and left him in there that long so he would get bitten.
Onan- April 24, 2012 at 1:59 pm
Imagine that; someone from a Middle Eastern country getting offended by a shirt with an obviously Middle Eastern character with his brains blown out. Don't those guys over there get our totally awesome, irreverent brand of American humor? Of course, don't you try the same thing with a similar image of Reagan, Bush or Bush, Mr. Middle Eastern guy. You'll end up in some Marine's Facebook album with a picture him and his buddies pissing on your corpse.
Tyr- April 24, 2012 at 1:39 pm
Stephan Bonnar is a cool guy and all but why wear a t-shirt like that at an airport in the middle east? If i would go to lets say usa i would not wear a t-shirt of some one beating a us marine to death. Just common sense or am i wrong?
holeeball- April 24, 2012 at 1:53 pm
Problem is Bonnar is fucking uncommon so serves him right.
Fried Taco- April 24, 2012 at 1:12 pm
Or they were pissed their t-shirt design didn't win.
Fried Taco- April 24, 2012 at 1:11 pm
Or maybe they are not fans of Melvin Guillard.