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Damn, Already? Randy Says UFC Could ‘Step Up’ to Avoid His Retirement, Admits Turning Down Jon Jones Fight

(Pic: Affliction)

OK, before we all start dumping Haterade on Randy Couture, let us state for the record that in the following new video interview with Steve Cofield he still sounds pretty certain he’ll be retiring after UFC 129. In fact, Couture seems a little bit pissed off at this point that people keep asking him about it. Chalk it up to run-of-the-mill fight-week orneriness maybe, but we think we detect a slight edge creeping into “The Natural’s” voice when Cofield claims “one of his media buddies” got a text from Dana White that sums up Couture’s plan to call it quits after this weekend’s fight with Lyoto Machida by saying: “Retire? Not if he wins.”

“It doesn’t matter if I win or not,” Couture sort of snaps. “I know them, I know Dana. He’s got plans already and it doesn’t matter to me. He’s going to really have to step up if he thinks I’m going to come back out (of retirement). I don’t think that’s going to happen. There’s a lot of younger guys … Jon Jones is the perfect example. They offered me that fight in the fall. Nobody wants to fight that cat right now. I don’t see that battle in my future.”

Huh. Very interesting. Indeed, Couture is still adamant he’ll be walking away (again) after this weekend. Yet considering what we know about his past, even that tiny little hint that the UFC could coax him back into the Octagon if it unloads a dump truck of money in his driveway makes us hear echoes of Lloyd Christmas deep in the recesses of our cynical little mindbrains: “So, you’re telling me there’s a chance.” The vid itself, which is full of interesting tidbits, is after the jump.

“When you say ‘step up,’ is that money? Is it future consideration? What is that?” Cofield asks after Couture makes the sort of cryptic statements above.

“What,” increasingly exasperated Randy says, “they’re gonna offer me a 10-fight deal? I don’t know what they’re going to offer me. It’s not about titles, it’s not about belts. I’ve done everything there is to do in this sport and I’ve had a blast (during) the 14 years I’ve been doing it. I think now is the time to move on.”

“I hate to keep hounding at it,” Cofield says (no he doesn’t), before asking a few follow-ups.

Frankly, a lot of things pique our interest here. First of all, it’s been our theory for some time that A) If Couture defeated Machida (he’s more than a 2-1 underdog, as we speak) the UFC would try to book him in one last big-money title match. Kind of like when the Mel Gibson character shows up and fucks up Danny Glover’s retirement plans in the original “Lethal Weapon.” And B) They’d love for him to fight Jon Jones in sort of a torch-passing, ritualistic sacrifice kind of thing.

The fact that Couture has allegedly already turned down a fight with Jones means that The Old Man is even cagier than we thought. And the UFC is just as mean. I mean, seriously? They’d risk making Couture the first death in the Octagon just for the guaranteed 800K PPV buys a fight with Jones would bring in? Stop lying to yourself. You know they would.

With Cofield’s retirement questions fended off, Randy goes on to discuss at length his desire to continue and expand his acting career. That part actually makes us feel kind of bad for him, especially when he contends that his breakout role is still out there waiting for him. He even goes as far as to reference The Rock’s star turn as a homosexual tough guy in one of those interminable Elmore Leonard sequels as evidence that he could also make the jump from athlete-actor to actor-actor.

Damn playa, please tell us you have a fallback if this acting thing doesn’t pan out.

Cagepotato Comments

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ripyourfuckingheadoff- April 28, 2011 at 1:49 pm
I thought he was looking for interesting fights? Isn't the most interesting fight out there Jon Jones for the title!? How could such a badass even say that he doesn't want to fight JJ and that no one wants to fight Jon Jones? Doesn't everyone want to fight Bones for the title? These are pro fighters- they arent scared of getting hurt. Jesus my odds are absolutely terrible, but I'd fight Jon Jones if given the chance, you could become a champion of the world. What the hell is going on here?
BONGTAR- April 27, 2011 at 10:36 am
LOL, i dont actually follow Karma on anything. Purpledickmeat is a pole smokin sausage jockey who loves to talk gay shit....hmmm
Bootylam- April 27, 2011 at 8:32 am
OK, seriously now. You guys are right with your points about Randy EXCEPT FOR THE FIGHTING PART! Isn't this the same old dude who's gotten dropped at least once in about his last 10 fights? That's still having it? And comparing him to Liddell? Okay. He needs to leave as a proud warrior before he fucks up his legacy like Roy Jones, or Liddell, or Pulver, or Favre, or Jordan, or... shit, don't you understand?
fatbellyfrank- April 26, 2011 at 6:55 pm
Fuck, lots of haters here, Randy doesn't have a fucken thing to prove to anyone, all the best for your future Captain America, and everyone dissin his acting, Expendables did OK, and from where I sat, Randy looked quite comfortable and easily as beleivable as Dolph Lundgren, Sly, Mickey rourke et al, why wouldn't he do the same kinda shit as the Rock or stone Cold steve Austin? none of em will ever win Oscars, but they'll pick up a tidy stash of coin for their efforts.
Randy was a pioneer of our sport and IS a Hall of famer, why dont y'all fuck off back to your Justin Beiber websites and do your whinin there
PurpleDickMeat- April 26, 2011 at 3:21 pm
Wow just when I thought KarmaAteMyCat was the biggest fucking douchebag sausage chute on the planet I find out that bitch made blown out BONGTAR is actually following that cat fuckers career while obsessively scraping his water pipe. Damn... I mean its bad enough when a man has his own personal pet cat that he appears to take hot loads from, but then there's the other motherfucker that is actually interested in him enough to follow his career!!! Now, is that his mma hobby/career or his beastiality career?? Either way, they're both fucking gay!!
But anyway congrats to Karma for not being the biggest cock accepting queer fuck on this site anymore! BONGTAR it's all you now... so pull that resin and shit infested piece out of your ass, take a hit and give yourself a big ol pat on the back. You deserve it! Karma don't get too happy though, you are a very close second.
And one last thing, BONGTAR... say hello to your rest stop dwelling fruity little kids for me! ;)
SnackDaddy- April 26, 2011 at 1:42 pm
Once Machida is done with Randy he won't have a choice whether to retire or not. And Randy fighting John Jones is a ludicrous thought. He might as well sign his own death warrant. On the other, hand refusing to fight John Jones is just admitting that his best is behind him and he's no longer fit to compete at the top of the division. Which pretty much means, reeetirreee you old fart.
BONGTAR- April 26, 2011 at 1:31 pm
Ric, i'm bored, i have a computer, the topic i read about it MMA, like who's fighting next and where. I dont give a shit about the personal lives, whos fucking who and who parks where....please son, think it through
BONGTAR- April 26, 2011 at 1:30 pm
you got me Karma
gadam1975- April 26, 2011 at 1:08 pm
There are a lot of assholes making comments about Randy and the truth is he'd kick all your asses.
Ric Flair- April 26, 2011 at 1:02 pm
if you just watched the fights and didn't care about anything else... well WTF are you doing on this website??? you know there's a PPV EVERY month,... just check your local listings or the PPV pre-view channel and leave it at that since that's all you care about. I mean... c'mon son
KarmaAteMyCat- April 26, 2011 at 12:03 pm
Bongtar is lying he's one of my biggest fans. He follows me on twitter,Facebook and here at the Potato Nation.
El Guapo- April 26, 2011 at 11:45 am
Who, Death? Yeeaahhh, he's aiiiight.
BONGTAR- April 26, 2011 at 11:44 am
guys, we like watching people fight, leave it at that. After the fight is over, paying attention to the fighters lives and moves outside of the ring/cage is a little like reality tv. Its for bitches, it's mind numbing, and again, who gives a fuck? I got enough shit to worry about, I'm not spending my time wondering what Randy or any other fighter is up to...... who gives a FUCK
Ric Flair- April 26, 2011 at 11:21 am
I 98% believe Randy THIS time... lol. one of the things I'm looking forward to most of this event is his final fight and farewell speech... and another thing I can't wait for is to see Benson Henderson get choked the fuck out! hate that guy... on the other hand, it'd be funny if he wins and pulls that "the power of Christ!" bullshit.... you'll hear crickets man, we don't fall for that god shit up here! Aldo is gonna lose too, and GSP will finally get the finish all the internet marks have been waiting for
ReX13- April 26, 2011 at 11:02 am
L. Wapo >>
El Guapo- April 26, 2011 at 10:56 am
But damned if Randy vs Fedor wouldn't be the shit. I co-co sign on that doozy..
El Guapo- April 26, 2011 at 10:54 am
And in this cornerrr, with an unblemished record of 45 trillion victories to no lossesssss.... Faaaatherrrrrr TIIIIIIME!
smiledriver- April 26, 2011 at 10:37 am
I on the otherhand wish Randy Couture the best in all his future endeavors and would love to hear he was not retiring, but if he does I hope he'll continue to influence the sport for the better.

Shame on you bunch of jerks. You "what-have-you-done-for-me-latelys" Need to move to Philly and cheer for the Eagles or sumpin' they love you bullsh*t over there.
KarmaAteMyCat- April 26, 2011 at 10:31 am
You noticed me so I said something right. It's okay I love you to now pass me some of that KoolAid
RwilsonR- April 26, 2011 at 10:09 am
If it was anybody but Randy Couture, I'd put on my keyboard warrior hat and call him a pussy for openly dodging someone. But the dude has nothing else to prove, and I think it says something about how much respect he has for Jon Jones that a guy as badass as Randy Couture very frankly says he wants no part of him.
I have had ups and downs in liking Randy Couture, but he is a one of a kind athlete, and has been awesome for this sport. I hope he does retire, and good luck to him in future marriages.
Turd Furgeson- April 26, 2011 at 9:59 am

You talk a lot for someone who never says anything.
nickyroose- April 26, 2011 at 9:57 am
Randy the fight commentator. Done and done. Also this is the same shit I heard before Randy laid Tim Sylvia the fuck out. Just let him go into stasis until you can match him up with old Fedor and we can all smile and laugh about what a hoe Fedor is compared to Randel. Either that or give him a job like chuck, except he's not retarded and brain damaged. Difference being Chuck was never that quick. Imagine all the takes it took to do that VP commercial. Probably 100 per shot.
BONGTAR- April 26, 2011 at 9:51 am
Randy cant act. He can fight though. Age be dammed, dude still has it. But he HAS done it all, walking away is ok at this time, and if he wants to think of shit to do to keep him busy in retirement, whether its horrible acting or just training fighters, who gives a fuck?
danomite- April 26, 2011 at 9:51 am
@dim mak
fuck it, there ain't no handicapped people at the gym anyway. funny thing is, with all of Randy's MMA and wrestling injuries he could easily qualify for a handicapped sticker. now if you'll excuse me I have to go take a shit in that nice big stall at the end of the bathroom. you know, the one with it's own sink.
Canadia- April 26, 2011 at 9:47 am
Randy's a great guy but it's just pure crazyness that he's fighting at the elite level at his age. It's also complete bullshit that the UFC doesn't have a marketing job lined up for this guy. If they've ever seen scorpion king..then why the hell haven't they lined up a job for him yet.

If i was Dana, I'd throw coture in the mix for TUF. Instead of Dana being there, why can't Coture be the host and commentate on the fights afterwards. The Guy is certainly familiar with the environment and i'm sure if you just let him wear a Xtreme coture shirt on the show you'd never hear a complaint come out of Randy.

But instead Dana reminiscent of vince mcmahon would rather sell his face and his image rather then give someone else the opportunity