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Damn, Scott Coker & Co. Are Really Pulling Out All the Stops to Promote Bellator 131

In the MMA marketing game, the list of tactics used to promote a fight card goes something like this:

1. Bring in a recently disgraced legend from your more popular rival promotion to play skeeball/sign autographs.

2. Everything else.

Unfortunately for Bellator, option 1 is no longer on the table, as Wanderlei Silva has been contractually cock-blocked from appearing at their Dave & Busters party this Friday. So with their backs against the wall, Scott Coker’s crack team of ad execs have been forced to reach deep into their idea banks to promote this weekend’s Bellator 131 card. The results have been nothing short of hilarious — like something Jackie Moon would come up with if he was stuck in a creative slump.

Bellator kicked things off in style last night with (what I can only assume was) their first “Taco Tuesday” event, hosted at Dave & Busters and MC’ed by Bellator colorman Jimmy Smith — who I absolutely refuse to talk trash about because he seems awesome. If you hadn’t guessed, “Taco Tuesday” pitted 10 or so diehard MMA fans against one another in a taco-eating competition, with the winner earning a ticket to Bellator 131. And right now, AS WE SPEAK, the promotion is hosting a scavenger hunt across San Diego for, you guessed it, tickets to Bellator 131.

Personally, I think these promotional stunts are brilliant. Whereas Dana White just gives UFC tickets away on Twitter, Bellator really wants to make you earn the right to see Stephan Bonnar fight Tito freakin’ Ortiz in 2014. I mean, how can you *not* appreciate a company that is backed by the multi-billion dollar Viacom, yet resorts the same promotional strategies as a minor league baseball team? It’s like Scott Coker wandered into a Chuck E. Cheese for the first time ever last weekend and got really, really inspired.

And his inspiration is inspiring me, dammit. So if Bellator is looking for some other promotional ideas for Bellator 131 or any future card, really, they can either hire me or observe the following list.

Topple “The Colossus” Night

This would be kind of like of like Pin the Tail on the Donkey, only with James Thompson‘s chin serving as the donkey and a Bellator fan’s fist as the tail. Basically, you’d give a bunch of average Joe’s the opportunity to KO Thompson while blindfolded, and the first 5 to do so would win tickets, a Power Card, jalapeno poppers, etc.

Wac-a-Mole Night With Stephan Bonnar’s Training Partners! 

The criminal mastermind known as Tito Ortiz has placed a mole somewhere inside Bonnar’s camp, and it’s up to you to smoke it out!

Date a Fighter Night

Think The Dating Game. One lucky lady gets to choose 1 out of 3 fighters to go on a date with based on their answers to a series of blindly-asked questions. Those 3 fighters: Dave Rickels, Dakota Cochrane, Tim Sylvia.

Domestic Violence Awareness Night

More often than not, this would follow “Date a Fighter Night.”

Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader: Bellator Edition?

Blah blah blah the fifth grader is Tito Ortiz.

So there you go, Bellator. Remember, there’s plenty more where that came from and I work for relatively cheap.

-J. Jones

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